Ali Wannabe & Jamal

Ali Wannabe & Jamal

Jamal: [Jamal spots Ali in the street and walks over to him] Salaam bro, how are you?]

Ali Wannabe: [Nah man its him again!] Yeah I’m buzzin’ Jam. How is you?

Jamal: Alhamdulillah, I’m good. It’s been a month or so since we had a chat. What you been up to Ali?

Ali: I’ve been flexin’ , chillin and dat.

Jamal: Did you give any thought to what we spoke about last time Ali?

Ali: mmm…..Yeah, yeah I have been thinking about it and I know your right but….

Jamal: Mashallah. So you ain’t gonna sell drugs anymore?

Ali: Woah woah easy bro...no need to chat like dat, some uncle might hears you and grass up to me old man innit. You gets me?

Jamal: Well I’m happy you’re thinking about stopping that haram business and inshallah make money in a halal way. What about your other habits bro?

Ali: Well me only got mashed a few times this month and I haven’t pulled a bird in bare time (not that I ain’t been tryin’). Da boys think I’ve become a batty boy and that!

Jamal: Bro, its good to see you are trying. I know its not easy but make sure you try to completely stop the alcohol, weed and fornication. Because you know it’s haram and its not what Muslims do.

Ali: It’s so hard Jam, you’s won’t understand. Temptation is everywhere. Now dat the sun is out, da gals is lookin’ fine and you cant help but wanna get jiggy with it. The weed and booze I can try to end but da gals...I dunno bro.

Jamal: Ali, you are talking about zina (sex outside marriage). It is the third biggest sin in Islam. Let me ask you, who do you want to do zina with?

Ali: Raas man! I thought you’re the molbi-type. What is you’s asking me? If you want me to get you’s a bird, just let me know. I’ll sort you out. I know bare gals.

Jamal: Astagfirullah! I was asking do you want to do zina with your sister? Your mum? Your daughter? Your auntie? Your niece?

Ali: What the heck is you chatting ‘bout. You better watch it Jam. I’ll get da boys to mash you up big time. Don’t say things like that about my sis and mum. You ain’t no religious guy!

Jamal: Listen bro, listen very carefully. When you ‘pull a bird’, she will be someone’s sister, mother, daughter, auntie, niece. OK, how would you like it if someone chatted up and tried to pull your sister, daughter or mother? Just think about that bro. How would you feel?

Ali: I would bloody rip their goolies out and feed em to me pit bull!

Jamal: Exactly! That’s how other people will be feeling as well when you and your mates do the same.

Ali: I is sorry about what I said. Me didn’t think about it like dat before, but Bro its not just us guys that is thinking like this. You don’t know gals these days Jam they is worse than some of us guys.

Jamal: Forget about others bro you have to answer for yourself in front of Allah (swt). So as a friend and as a Muslim, leave zina for good. If you want to be with a girl then get married to a good Muslim girl.

Ali: GET MARRIED?!? ha ha ha you is a funny guy Jam, me got me whole life ahead of me I is too young to get married I wanna do all me chillin first.

Jamal: My advice to you would be to sort your education out, get a proper halal job and then get married. It is said that marriage is half of your deen -that’s how important marriage is.

Ali: But dat would mean marrying me cousin Yasmin and she is mingin! I ain’t marrying no paki from back home..

Jamal: You don’t worry about that bro. When you’re ready I will speak to your dad and we will look for a good Muslim girl for you inshallah. But bro a good Muslim girl will be looking for a good Muslim boy so if you want a good wife you gotta be a good husband.

Ali: You is the Don. Bare Respect to you Jam.

Jamal: Bro, if you really want to make something of your life then the solution is Islam. Be a proper Muslim. Learn about Islam and then follow its teachings. Believe me your life will be so much better. You won’t need to rely on sex, drugs and rock ‘n roll to get your buzz. Don’t waste your life bro.

Ali: The ting is Jam I don’t know jack about Islam. No one has told me anything. I went mosque as a kid and I was messin’ about so I was always in the Kukar position. How can I be a proper Muslim?

Jamal: You see my friend, Islam isn’t just a religion. It’s a complete way of life. It tells you how to live your life. It gives you the solutions to all the problems we face today. You need to start with the basics and take it from there. Slowly you will start to become a good Muslim and keep improving.

Ali: So what are the basics Jam?

Jamal: Well bro to be a Muslim you have to believe in 7 things, these are known as the articles of faith. They are: 1. Belief in One God –Allah, 2. Angels of God, 3. Books of God, 4. Prophets of God, 5.Day of Judgment, 6.Destiny 7. Life after death

Ali: What do ya mean books of God there’s only 1 book the Qur’an, innit? See I do know sometin’.

Jamal: Yes Ali but Muslims also believe in the Psalms, Torah, Injeel (Old Testament of bible) and the Qur’an.

Ali: Wat you on a ‘bout we believe in da Bible (Old Testament), that belong to da Christians!

Jamal: Bro the original revelations all told the same message to worship and believe in the one God and they are our holy books, but people have unfortunately changed them over time but we still believe in the originals revelations.

Ali: So ain’t they got no copyright ting on dem, this counterfeits is bad business innit? I wonder if I could flog some to da bruvas?

Jamal: Once you believe in these you’re a Muslim. Now there are things you have to do. They’re known as the five pillars:1. declaration of faith, 2. pray 5 times a day, 3. zakat, 4. fast in Ramadan and 5. perform Hajj once in a lifetime.

Ali: So what’s this Jackat I have to wear?

Jamal: No bro its Zakat it involves cleansing your wealth by giving 2.5% of your earnings/savings to the poor.

Ali: 2.5% raaaas! Bro how do I register as being poor cos me could do with all that dollars. I’m gonna move to Arab land hear they is well rich so that me can get loads of dollars and retire. Dats da Masta Plan.

Jamal: Sorry bro I don’t think you would qualify.

Ali: You know what Jam, me didn’t even know most of dis. What it is Jam I can read da Qur’an and that but I ain’t got a clue what it means. So what’s da Qur’an about Jam? Is it about namaz and dat?

Jamal: The Qur’an is the word of God. It was sent to us for guidance for all times. The Qur’an is here to give us guidelines, so when ever we need help, we can turn to the Qur’an for our problems.

Ali: So what d’ya mean guidance. How will it help me?

Jamal: Well Ali, to put it in simple terms. Think of the Qu’ran as the instruction manual for life. If you follow it you will never go wrong.

Ali: So what’s in it den?

Jamal: Ali there is nothing that is not covered in the Qur’an. The Qu’ran teaches us how to live a family life, how to marry, who to get married to, what to eat, how to eat, how to do business, it covers almost all branches of science, about hell, heaven and the last day, about the life of the prophets. The Qu’ran outlines the rights of women, rights of parents, rights of the husband, rights of the wife, rights of neighbours, rights of children.....

Ali: Naah man, is you sure you is talking about the same book...

Jamal: It’s the Qu’ran I’m talking about. Why, you surprised? Also the Qu’ran has strict rules for governors so they can rule justly and rules of war and peace. The Qu’ran answers the questions of life like evolution, purpose of creation, life after death....and much much more.

Ali: Raas man! Me had no idea all dat stuff is in da Qur’an. I could be well clever and know loads of stuff if I read it properly then. Now tell me a bit about da Prophet. What was so great about him? Why should me follow him?

Jamal: Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him and his beloved family) is the greatest man in history. He was the Prophet of God. He brought the deen of Islam. He gave the world religious, social, economic, political rights, laws and solutions. He is the perfect role model for us all to follow. He taught us how to live our lives, to get the success in this world and in the hereafter.

Ali: Dis is all cool stuff Jam. One ting I’m not sure about is dat as a Muslim what is da purpose of my life? To do jihad and dat? To kill the Kafirs?

Jamal: Do you know what the purpose of life is Ali ?

Ali: Purpose of life?....I dunno....people is always sayin’ us only live once so chill. I wanna be filthy rich, have bare sick cars, house made from Gold and just flex man.

Jamal: For a Muslim the purpose of life is to worship Allah (swt). As the Qur’an says: “I have only created jinns and humans, that they worship Me.” ( Qur’an 51:56) That doesn’t mean you just do your prayers and bob’s your uncle. Oh no, to live each and every aspect of your life according to the teachings of Islam. So if you have a halal job - that’s worship. Obeying your parents, elders- that’s worship. Gaining an education- that’s worship. Learning and spreading the deen – that’s worship. So basically everything that you do that is halal and you have the intention to please your Creator is WORSHIP. This my friend is the purpose of life for a Muslim.

Ali: Wat so I’m worshiping God no matter what I do as long as it’s Halal and for Allah, is dat what you’re saying?

Jamal: Exactly!

Ali: Woah! So dis worship ting isn’t that hard is it, me thought u gotta take tests and do loads of boring stuff at the mosque.

Jamal: Well bro you can do your ibadat (worship) at home as well or at work or anywhere... but did you know that by praying in jamaat (congregation) at the mosque you get 40 times more reward for it?

Ali: Dats like bonus points, cos I think me is gonna need plenty of them innit.

Jamal: We all do bro.

Ali: Nah not YOU Jam you is the molvi type. YOU is a good lad.. not a bad boy like me?

Jamal: No bro I also have to be worried. I will also be asked about my actions. So we’re in the same boat.

Ali: Nah man me ain’t from no banana boat like you…ha ha ha…only jokin Jam. One ting dat me and da boys are scared about is what will happen to us when we die?

Jamal: Every single person in this world is gonna die bro. Once we die, that is not the end because there will be a life after death….

Ali: What d’ya mean life after death, so is me gonna come back lookin’ like a monkey?

Jamal: No bro that’s reincarnation. Muslims don’t believe in that. What I am talking about is that after you die you get brought back to life on the Day of Judgment.

Ali: Like the Arnie movie……..’I’ll be back’.

Jamal: No Ali, once you die you will rest in your grave. We won’t just remain asleep in our graves and then be woken up when the Day of Judgment begins. Oh no...The PUNISHMENT or REWARD, will start on the day we die, in our graves!

Ali: Stop it, you is scaring me Jam…

Jamal: Well in the grave, you’re on your own bro. Your friends, weed, booze, gals, money, cars.. ain’t gonna be any use to you. The only thing that will help you in the grave is your deen- your good actions. This is the reason why it’s time you stop messing around and wasting your life bro - otherwise you will have to pay for it in the grave- big time!

Ali: Tell me more ‘bout what happens next Jam?

Jamal: Then everyone will be brought back to life on the Day of Judgment where we must all account for our deeds, and depending on our deeds we get heaven or hell. If you’re a good Muslim with good deeds you get Heaven inshallah; and if you have bad deeds you is going DOWN bro, not for life but eternity.

Ali: But bro can I get a day release?

Jamal: No

Ali: What if they tag me? They is doin’ it in prisons now letting u out on tag.

Jamal: No. No tags, no nothing just pain, so be afraid of hell bro it’s a nasty place.

Ali: I tink you has opened me eyes Jam. I is gonna pop down to your yard and learn about Islam some time. You can tell me more about Hell and Judgment Day cos they is wicked tings to tell da boys, they is gonna be well scared man.

Jamal: No problem at all bro. You are welcome anytime.

taken from the revival magazine.


wasalam o 'alykum warahmatulahi wabarakatuh.