*!*Talking with Members of the Opposite Sex *!*

**Talking with Members of the Opposite Sex **

It is to be stressed first of all that Muslims, men and women, must observe haya' (shyness or modesty) in all their correspondence and conversations. Islam does not forbid women from talking to men, nor men to women if the situation calls for it and the conversation abides by the boundaries of Islamic Shari`ah.

In the authentic Hadith of the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him), he said: "Shyness is from iman." (Reported by al-Bukhari and Muslim) In another Hadith: "Shyness brings only good." (Reported by al-Bukhari and Muslim) This shyness is a beautiful manner for both men and women, but more so for women, because it agrees with their feminine nature, which is why women do not initiate a conversation with strange men.

However, traditions and customs govern this matter, and these change from one country to another, from one time to another and from one situation to another.

Nevertheless, it is important to realize that Islam does not forbid women from talking to men, nor men to women if the situation calls and the conversation abides by the boundaries of Islamic Shari`ah. Allah addressed the wives of the Prophet Muhammad
(peace and blessings be upon him): "O wives of the Prophet! You are not like any other women. If you keep your duty to Allah, then be not soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease should be moved with desire, but speak in an honorable manner." (Al-Ahzab: 32)

Thus, despite the special position and laws which govern them alone and which place more restrictions upon them than any other, Islam did not prevent the wives of the Prophet from speech, but forbid them to speak in such a way which would move those with illness in their hearts with desire and lust.


However, honorable and reasonable speech falls within Islam as stated by the previous verse.


There are many Hadiths which confirm the permissibility of men greeting women and women greeting men, as well as the lawfulness of men visiting sick women and vice versa.


However, this does not imply the lifting of all boundaries so that women start speaking to all men who come and go or that men start speaking to all women, as this is rejected by logic and good taste before being rejected by Islam. It is permissible for a woman to speak to a male relative, a teacher, a neighbor, a supervisor at work, and others according to the requirements and needs of every day life and complex relations amongst people in our days, as long as trust is established, troubles (fitnah) are restrained, and conditions are normal.


Indeed, the custom in many Islamic countries is for men to greet women and for women to greet men when they meet. They also exchange conversation (honorable speech) regarding important and relevant matters, all with the approval of fathers, husbands and brothers as well as the scholars.


We do not deny that some countries have very strict traditions regarding women so that they become more like prisoners in their own homes until death comes to them. However, even though some scholars may agree with this, it remains that clear, covert and correct legal evidence contradicts these traditions in addition to the objectives of Shari`ah, the interests of mankind, and the development of age and people