i dont feel welcome at the mosque :(

I'd say sis Gossamers reply was at its best...and I'd also like to add that it's not Islam that has caught this disease, but Muslims. Islam is perfect and won't change. If they dont appreciate you and greet you as they should, then the problem lies within themself and ultimately w/e u do, u do for Allah. Be nice, smile, do all the the things uwould as a muslim regardless of what they do because your reward is with Allah.

^^ Of course, no one is perfect. We all strive to and InshaAllah thats what counts.

All the best bro.

format_quote Originally Posted by ghengis

wow.

being a proper muslim is so difficult. supreme behavioural control, emotional control, character control....

destroying your desires... your need to be wanted, to be socially accepted etc.

gossamer gave me a good talking too.
gossamer u did good. thanks.
inshallah i will learn that surah tonight!!! all nighter. inshallah!

it will be my first long surah to commit to memory!

...and yes it is long.... but we gotta start somewhere.

allah be praised!!!!

there is no secret to being a good muslim, like all arts and sciences must be learned one day at a time, and take a life time process to perfect, it isn't mere schooling, it is experience and an acquisition of life long wisdom.

there is no point of being perfect in one day, no one is perfect, only Allah swt and he know of our condition..

here is one of my favorite ahadith, I have taken the liberty to translate it:

إن هذا الدين متين فأوغل فيه برفق ولا تبغض إلى نفسك عبادة الله فإن المنبت لا أرضا قطع ولا ظهرا أبقى)
أخرجه أحمد من حديث أنس والبيهقي من حديث جابر

And Rasoul Allah PBUH said “This religion, 'Islam' is strong/vast, so, learn with ease, and don’t ever reduce the importance of a worship to Allah” and he gave an example of a traveler who spend days on his journey abusing the horse i.e beating it to get to his destination faster, at the end he didn’t achieve his goal by getting to his destination, and even worse his mode of transport gave out (died) from the abuse (so he acheived nothing) ...(Isnad: Ahmad, Anas, Baheeqi, Jaber)

in other words learn all you can but take it easy..

and Allah swt knows best

here is a transliteration of suret ad-duha for your memorization tonight insha'Allah, it is only 11 small verses with tremendous meaning and consolation:

1. Wa Ađ-Đuĥá
2. Wa Al-Layli 'Idhā Sajá
3. Mā Wadda`aka Rabbuka Wa Mā Qalá
4. Wa Lal'ākhiratu Khayrun Laka Mina Al-'Ūlá
5. Wa Lasawfa Yu`ţīka Rabbuka Fatarđá
6. 'Alam Yajidka Yatīmāan Fa'āwá
7. Wa Wajadaka Đāllāan Fahadá
8. Wa Wajadaka `Ā'ilāan Fa'aghná
9. Fa'ammā Al-Yatīma Falā Taqhar
10. Wa 'Ammā As-Sā'ila Falā Tanhar
11. Wa 'Ammā Bini`mati Rabbika Faĥaddith

http://www.guidedways.com/chapter_di...&translator=16

format_quote Originally Posted by ghengis

i'm a bloke.

c'mon people!!! positive reinforcement!!!!

i need it.

shaitan attacks the lone sheep......... thats a good enough reason to go to the mosque.

but i need more....

70 * more prayer blessings too....

but i am really not wanting to integrate, i dont want to get to know these people. i may be muslim just like them but i feel worlds apart...

just give me reasons to go. i dont care about socializing.

Demanding people to do things for you is not the way to go.

Get into groups with them, read books with them, play games with them (Chess, Checkers, Monoply?).

format_quote Originally Posted by Janaan

Assalamu Alaikum,

I spent many years moping that people at the masjid were excluding me, especially during Ramadan. At iftars, people tended to bunch off based on language group and would chat away in arabic or urdu, leaving me sitting quietly by myself.

However, one day I decided to stop moping and feeling sorry for myself and just start being friendly. SubhanAllah, it worked! I initiate the salaams, I initiate the hugs and kisses, I initiate the how are you, alhamdulilah, blah blah blah. After awhile, people got to know me and would start the salaams when they saw me.

I'm not really the most social person in the world either - I prefer the internet to real life most of the time - but even having someone to exchange salams with made going to the masjid a lot happier event.

its truee ukhtee... exchanging salams do help. And of course it is a sunnah

As a revert I think I understand where you are coming from brother. Many Muslims, or I shoudl say born Muslims seem to take many things for granted. even cultural things. I mean one of my best friends, who's a born Muslim has severe difficulties with her familiy because she is a lonely type of person. She enjoys friends but does not want to be bothered with people much of the time. I am like this too, but many born Muslims are used to having big famillies and having people around. Im not saying this is the only issue but I feel born Muslims are often insensitive to revert issues. I too have distanced myself from the community because of things which happened to me. I have BIg issues with embracing someone when they give salaam. Its just something completely alien to me and it makes me feel on edge.

Brother, it is hard to feel welcome quite often and I just pray that Allah guides all of us and helps us to understand each other better....ameen

thats exactly wat I am saying brother. There is almost an expectatio, I feel, that we, as reverts, should act the way and accept the culture of born Muslims. This is my experience anyway. I have been a Muslim now for around 8 years and it is only now I al realising that it is not necessary. It is difficult, and inshallah with the help of fellow Muslims and most importantly Allah I can be strong and become a better person.

I dont quite understand this word "integrate" everyone has their own interpretation of it and its not a word I really like. Pehaps I would prefer just to "get on with" people and accept that in some respects we are alike, yet in others we are completely different. We are all Muslims but we are by no means all the same.

This is a thread I started on friday last, I dont know how to link it, suppose its v simple tho ! Anyway I just plonked it all here, hope it can be of some help, peace

Salamun Aleiykum. Alhamdulillah I finally did it, I went friday prayers at the mosque. For as long as I knew I was Muslim, I knew I had to go to mosque on a friday, now for a revert it is an area of anxiety for some, I learnt to pray from a book and have been very conscious about it being correct or not ( subhan Allah it was) and this has been a problem for me. Many times I have asked brothers to take me, and I sometimes felt that they thought nI was being weird or something. Let me explain to all those brothers that for a convert who does not know what to expect at a mosque, how it may be different from praying at home, how some of us think we will be watchedfor errors its scary. I also had to go to mosque where I was only white person amongst a congregation of Pakistanis, although I am no rascist, I was anxious of this also. Anyway new Muslims let me tell you, first of all I asked a colleague to go mosque with me last friday, we were to early to pray but he asked the Imam to let us in and this brother showed me round the mosque and how to wash properly, he is called Mamood and I ask all who read this to ask Allah to bless him and his familly in this life and the next. So today I washed, put nice clothes on, bit the bullet and prayed all the way to the mosque for Allah to make it easy. I had been told to get there for 13:30 ready to commence at 2pm (uk), this had also been a source of anxiety not knowing what to do or when to turn up, I walked in and sat down, immediatley an elderley Pakistani man, who outside may have been wary of me, grabbed my hand in both of his and shook it warmly, he looked directly into my eyes and smiled, "asalamu aleiykum", wow I was so touched it was awesome, all my anxieties disappeared. as prayers started I was ushered forward ( i sat at the back !) and literally squeezed between the other brothers there. I have to tell you the sense of brotherhood at that moment was palpable, brothers to each side, children and men praying together. I could not understand alot of what the Imam said, butn I noticed he did his best to summarize each section in English, subject was the angels at point of death, awesome. I followed the brothers next to meand realised it was the prayer I had done at home, , Alhamdulillah. After 15 mins some people left I stayed and understood this to be extra rakaats, so I id mine and made dua for my mum (Allah bless her and bring her to Islam), the Imam concluded and we left the mosque. 30 minutes start to finish. When I left and all afternoon I have had the strangest feeling of peace, not the happy smiley everything cool type peace, nor a deep and dark type peace, but a peace that was devoid of urgency but that In had made a further commitment to Allah and a seriousness, hard to explain but definatley powerful. So new or old converts who have never been to the mosque, please take it from me there is absolutley nothing to worry about, people there will help if you want them to, there is no difference between people there we are all equal, andits ok to copy the one next to you or even ask them to show you. New brothers go to the mosque its truly awesome, when the person called Adhan at 2pm, tears came to my eyes, this has not happened to me for a while and Alhamdulillah for it. I f you live in braford or west yorkshire region pm me and I will do everything to accompany you there insha'Allah. In short go to the mosque, it is for Allahs pleasure and I am counting the minutes to next friday already. La ilaha ilAllah, eshedu ana Mahamadur rasulAllah. Ameen

Tony, how long have you been a revert that you have only just attended a mosque for the first time? Sounds like you had a very beneficial time.
Does your wife attend mosque?
And will you take your sons next?

I think there are several reasons why it is beneficial to attend worship with fellow believers:

• There is a social element, i.e receiving support from brothers and sisters and giving it in return; simply enjoying the company of other believers
• There is a spiritual element, i.e experiencing God's presence and as a result feeling spiritually uplifted
• But most important perhaps is simply doing it to give God all the praise and worship he deserves

I often experience worship most profoundly when I have come to the service reluctantly; when I have had to 'make myself' be obedient to God and come; when I haven't come to 'meet friends' or 'feel good', but when I simply say "Here I am God, use me ..."