I'm 17 years old, the oldest of three children, and still living with my parents. About a year ago, I met a Muslim friend who first introduced me to Islam. I grew up with a Christian family (not strict, but Christian nonetheless) and also believed in that religion up until the age of about 13. I had gone through a few things that made me think that God was ignoring me, so I decided to do the same (I know, ridiculous). It wasn't that I stopped believing, it was more so me trying to push religion and God to the back of my mind (which now I can see was mainly an excuse for my laziness and ignorance).
When my friend first mentioned Islam, I wasn't really interested and had little knowledge of it at that point. But, a while later I started putting more thought into it and taking it more seriously. I found Islam to be so beautiful and peaceful. If I ever thought of a question, it was always explained with good reasons to back it up. To me, everything just makes sense, something I found was lacking in other religions.
Last week was my first time going to the mosque. I recently met a girl (she had reverted to Islam 2 years ago) who invited me after I told her I was interested.
At the mosque I listened and watched a prayer. I don't know how to describe it, but I just felt something inside my heart the whole time I was there. Any doubt I had about Islam or becoming a Muslim was gone. I can honestly say that I've never felt so sure about something as I do about this.
However, there are a few things that really concern me though. I've yet to recite the Shahadah because of the following:
1. I feel I don't have enough knowledge. I've done enough research to know the basics, but for things like performing salat, I'm not sure about what to say or do without messing up. I also can't read Arabic. I do know for sure that I'm not just rushing into things as I've given this a lot of thought.
2. My family (namely my mother). She holds the typical belief that all Muslims are terrorists, women are inferior and abused, Islam encourages violence and hate, etc. I've tried to explain to her that this isn't true and that these problems exist in all religions, not just Islam, but she's 100% set in what she believes. Just to test out where she really stands, I made a "joke" that I was going to join an Islamic club at school to which she gave me this look and flat out said "Right". Translation: "Don't even joke about that". I was even told I can marry anybody I want, except for a Muslim man. Again, that just reaffirms where she stands on this topic.
Basically, I'm scared of telling her about me wanting to become a Muslim. She knows absolutely nothing about the research I've done, or that I'm even interested in Islam, and especially about my visit to the mosque. I think because I haven't let on about my belief at all she'll be so shocked. I'm scared of how she'll react (she's not exactly the most rational, especially when it comes to something she doesn't understand) My dad was never around, so I have a very close relationship with my mother which is why I'm so sad.
But, with or without her approval, I've already made up my mind and nothing can change that. I just don't know how to tell her. What should I say? When is a good time? Is there anyway I can try and convince her that Islam is not all the bad things she thinks it is? I want to be able to go to the mosque and practice openly without having to lie to her. Another fear I have is that if I tell her, she'll keep me from going, stop talking to me, or punish me for my belief.
I'm really at a loss for what to do or how to do things. I know this was a very long post and I apologize. I just need advice of any kind. Thank you very much.
Ummm, you could tell her later once you become one.. lot of people do that esp reverts. Yeah also gain some knowledge on how to pray and things, as you'll need to know even after u become muslim. Give your mom a dawah book or something so she can learn about islam..
hope this helps
I converted in my teens like you are planning on doing inshallah (God willing) but my mom also converted so I do not know how it would be to have a parent that is not muslim or does not approve of Islam.
format_quote Originally Posted by solfa
I also can't read Arabic.
Ive been muslim for 5 years and I still cant...its a learning process besides most muslim arent even Arabic or even speak arabic so it is fine but try to learn it because it will help inshallah (God willing)
format_quote Originally Posted by solfa
2. My family (namely my mother). She holds the typical belief that all Muslims are terrorists, women are inferior and abused, Islam encourages violence and hate, etc. I've tried to explain to her that this isn't true and that these problems exist in all religions, not just Islam, but she's 100% set in what she believes. Just to test out where she really stands, I made a "joke" that I was going to join an Islamic club at school to which she gave me this look and flat out said "Right". Translation: "Don't even joke about that". I was even told I can marry anybody I want, except for a Muslim man. Again, that just reaffirms where she stands on this topic.
By reading what you wrote I would think that if you flat out tell her hey im converting to Islam anything you say does not matter. She will just think you are being rebellious and will try to stop your attempts to practice Islam. And just put yourself in your mom's shoes it may be a huge shocker for her considering she has these feelings about Islam.... Maybe you should be like hey mom I did some research about Islam because of all the misconceptions I heard about it you wouldnt belive this or that and this is why Muslims do this or believe this like explain to her these misconceptions this way she will know you are at least researching Islam so if and when you decide to tell her the amount of shock want be as big
format_quote Originally Posted by solfa
Basically, I'm scared of telling her about me wanting to become a Muslim. She knows absolutely nothing about the research I've done, or that I'm even interested in Islam, and especially about my visit to the mosque. I think because I haven't let on about my belief at all she'll be so shocked. I'm scared of how she'll react (she's not exactly the most rational, especially when it comes to something she doesn't understand) My dad was never around, so I have a very close relationship with my mother which is why I'm so sad.
I think maybe you should convert and just slowly ( i mean veeerrryyyy slowly) share that you are muslim with your mom.
Dont be sad sis just have faith in Allah he is always there for you. And besides you have gained many brothers and sisters in Islam that are but a click away so just ask and we will try to help and pray for you.
May Allah Bless you
Last edited by S.Belle; 11-01-2010 at 05:55 PM.
"Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why we call it 'The Present'."
Salam sister.
I say you take your time and have your own final decision. It's your own life and your own destiny. No one will be affected by your beliefs and no one have the right to force you to do what you're not comfortable with.
format_quote Originally Posted by solfa
1. I feel I don't have enough knowledge. I've done enough research to know the basics, but for things like performing salat, I'm not sure about what to say or do without messing up. I also can't read Arabic. I do know for sure that I'm not just rushing into things as I've given this a lot of thought.
You don't need to learn all about islam to be a muslim. Once you say the Shahada you're considered a muslim. So at the beginning, you only need to understand the general islamic belief (aqeedah) : that's what you find in the meaning of the Shahada.
And later, you can learn other islamic details one by one, beginning from prayer. You can ask someone to help you do prayer, or attend Collective (jamaah) prayer to help you.
format_quote Originally Posted by solfa
2. My family (namely my mother). She holds the typical belief that all Muslims are terrorists, women are inferior and abused, Islam encourages violence and hate, etc. I've tried to explain to her that this isn't true and that these problems exist in all religions, not just Islam, but she's 100% set in what she believes. Just to test out where she really stands, I made a "joke" that I was going to join an Islamic club at school to which she gave me this look and flat out said "Right". Translation: "Don't even joke about that". I was even told I can marry anybody I want, except for a Muslim man. Again, that just reaffirms where she stands on this topic.
You can be a muslim and give your family and your mother a true image of a good muslim. You have to be kind with your family, you dad and especially your mom : that's what islam recommend us to do. And so you can change your family's wrong ideas about islam. And you have to make them sure that nothing will be changed with your relationship with your family : it's only your personal belief that will change.
Last edited by marwen; 11-01-2010 at 06:34 PM.
"O you who believe! Fear ALLAH as He should be feared" [aal 'Imraan, 102]
Parents in Islam are generally held in pretty high regard, as posted above. Maybe your mom would be interested in that! And also as posted, its better to do it gradually, doing otherwise might make you seem rebellious. Show her the beautiful things of Islam and try to change her mind about it.
I wish you all the luck and may Allah make this easy for you. Ameen.
oh sis - i so know how you feel.... my parents are atheists... mom was okay that i converted to being catholic but w/ all the stupid ress now a days. i didnt realise you could become muslimah and then learn the prayers.... personally i thought you had to know at least that from the start. ive found some neat you tube vidoes that teach you how to do the prayers in arabic... they are simple to learn... as an example. allahu akbar. they say it correctly twice i think .. they they break it up by syllable because a lof of the sounds are unfamiillar to western tongue then they say it all again. anyway if i'm allowed to post to the link to the intro on it ... i'd be glad to if someone who just tell me its allowed and if your intrerested sis. may your journey bring you great piece regardless of your parents... and yes... respect them as much as you are able to....but we have to follow our own religious path.
Salaam
Serena
the series is done for new american muslims but i would say its good for anyone who is not a natural arabic speaker... i think there is 8 different youtube videos.
Serena
I want to say thank you everyone for the advice. Maybe gradually letting them know about my decision is the best way. I went to buy the Quran today, but also found a book about Islam that disproved the stereotypes my mother has. Again, thank you everyone, and thank you so much for the link! ! ! ! !
the series is done for new american muslims but i would say its good for anyone who is not a natural arabic speaker... i think there is 8 different youtube videos.
Serena
Thank you for posting this. Learning salat is the first obstacle for new reverts IMHO. At first it is so foreign and with no Arabic background can be intimidating and discouraging.
شكرا
“All day I think about it, then at night I say it. Where did I come from, and what am I supposed to be doing? I have no idea. My soul is from elsewhere, I'm sure of that, and I intend to end up there.”
Congrats Sis on reverting to Islam. You don't need to tell her now that you want to turn to Islam, specially she hates it now. Try to make her admire you more, the more you get to know Islam. Bring simple books that refute her doubts about Islam. Know what she likes best and bring Islamic books on the very same things she likes. You know there are so many slow ways to attract her in indirect ways. Just don't take things fast. Who knows? she may become Muslim too though she hates Islam. May Allah guide her to the right path.
Salam and take care and may Allah be with you.
To become a muslim you only need to hold the most basic fundamental beliefs, so if you believe in one god and his messengers then you are a muslim, the rest you can gradually learn.
Don't worry about your parents at the moment, lead by example, show your parents all the positive changes in you as a result of becoming muslim, when they start to appreciate these good changes you can then eventually break it to them that you have accepted islam
He it is Who sends blessings on you, as do His angels, that He may bring you out from the depths of Darkness into Light: and He is Full of Mercy to the Believers. [Quran {33:43}] www.QuranicAudio.com www.Quran.com
Sis i was in the exact same suituation, my parents knew nothing about my research and had no idea about me going to the masjid. They also have the stereotype that muslims are terrorists etc. to be honest I rushed into telling my mom, I would advise you to wait if you can for a few weeks for them to notice a change and when you are comfortable then tell them, whatever you do don't rush it
However, there are a few things that really concern me though. I've yet to recite the Shahadah because of the following:
1. I feel I don't have enough knowledge. I've done enough research to know the basics, but for things like performing salat, I'm not sure about what to say or do without messing up. I also can't read Arabic. I do know for sure that I'm not just rushing into things as I've given this a lot of thought.
to be a muslim you dont need to know all of islam accutly scholars dont know the whole religon if you know that there is no deity worthy of worship excpt Allah and that Muhammed is his slave and messange and Jesus is his messanger you know the quran is the Word of Allah you shouldnt dely it at all knowldge will countiune to come untill you pass that is islam we act on what we know and learn what we dont know
2. My family (namely my mother). She holds the typical belief that all Muslims are terrorists, women are inferior and abused, Islam encourages violence and hate, etc. I've tried to explain to her that this isn't true and that these problems exist in all religions, not just Islam, but she's 100% set in what she believes. Just to test out where she really stands, I made a "joke" that I was going to join an Islamic club at school to which she gave me this look and flat out said "Right". Translation: "Don't even joke about that". I was even told I can marry anybody I want, except for a Muslim man. Again, that just reaffirms where she stands on this topic.
No one should be able to stop another from following truth no matter who they are but if you fell there will be problems if you tell her well you dont have to tell her
Basically, I'm scared of telling her about me wanting to become a Muslim. She knows absolutely nothing about the research I've done, or that I'm even interested in Islam, and especially about my visit to the mosque. I think because I haven't let on about my belief at all she'll be so shocked. I'm scared of how she'll react (she's not exactly the most rational, especially when it comes to something she doesn't understand) My dad was never around, so I have a very close relationship with my mother which is why I'm so sad.
countiune to learn and take your shahadah and then slowly call her to islam let her hear see fell islam in you thourgh you daily life
But, with or without her approval, I've already made up my mind and nothing can change that. I just don't know how to tell her. What should I say? When is a good time? Is there anyway I can try and convince her that Islam is not all the bad things she thinks it is? I want to be able to go to the mosque and practice openly without having to lie to her. Another fear I have is that if I tell her, she'll keep me from going, stop talking to me, or punish me for my belief.
yes by your actions and showing her ask her to read the quran with you etc
I'm really at a loss for what to do or how to do things. I know this was a very long post and I apologize. I just need advice of any kind. Thank you very much.
lets look at it like this You know the sky is blue and if i asked you to testify to that you would becasue it is blue from what u have said you know islam is the deen of Allah and the one true religon hence you should testify and Ask Allah then to guide your mother and call her to islam slowly and you said you have 2 other brothers/sisters if you think it would be easier to talk to them do so and try to help them see the truth it will make it easier for you then to call your mother to islam no matter what dont delay that which you know to be truth accpt it
"The Human being is an enemy to what he is ignorant of"
Hey. Its soo great that you want to become a muslim. You dont hve to have alot of knowledge to become a muslim. you just need to have firm faith that there is one God, and muhammad was the messenger of Allah, and everythingin the quran is true. You should become a muslim as soon as you can, especially because of the fact that you dont know if you are going to die the next day, and if you were to die the next day after becoming a muslim you would go to heaven and you would be sin free because of your conversion. One thing about reverting to Islam is that all your previous sins are gone, you become as sin free as a newborn at that moment. There are many things that you need to learn,like prayers and stuff, but Allah knows what you are going through and will not punish you because of the fact that you have no idea how to pray, you just have to make an effort to learn it as soon as you can.
To offically become a muslim you need to do the shahada:
Quietly, to yourself, make the intention to embrace Islam as your faith.
Say the following words with clarity of intention, firm faith and belief:
Say: "Ash-hadu an la ilaha ill Allah." (I bear witness that there is no diety but Allah.)
Say: "Wa ash-hadu ana Muhammad ar-rasullallah." (And I bear witness that Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah.)
Take a shower, symbolically cleansing yourself of your past life. (Some people prefer to shower before making the declaration of faith above; either way is acceptable.)
To get the pronouciation right go on youtube and search shahada , or converting to islam
I personally dont know how to deal with parents in your situation, because i was blessed to have been born into a muslim family. You have to be patient and remember that for every struggle and hardship you go through and you are patient Allah will reward you. In my personal opinion i think you should wait to tell your mother. let her notice the changes in your behavior. Its a really wonderful thing that happens when you revert or start practicing islam, you become a whole different person in a short period of time. 2 months ago i was an average american teenager, and now me or my family can barely recongnize me anymore...in a good way. I think she will notice your new behavior and wont want you to change..If that doesnt work be patient and ask Allah to help you.
solfa,
i know very much how you feel... i am going through the same thing right now. i have left little hints here and there to my parents but never said anything seriously about my interest in islam. i have gone to the mosque once but havent been able to go again without either telling my mom where im going, or lying about it, which i dont want to lie! inshallah, we will both get the courage to tell our parents. if you need any support i am here for you sister! <3
It is nice to hear you are going to convert. After studying Islam, that is your wise decision. Once you have decided, say Shahada as nobody knows when life ends.
May Allah (SWT) keep you firm on your decesion and lead all of us the straight path.
When there is nothing left but Allah that is when you find out that Allah is all you need.
First point. Do you really want to become a Muslim.
Ameen. May Allah answer your prayer. Sum ameen.
format_quote Originally Posted by gohar98
Ameen. May Allah answer your prayer. Sum ameen.
Actually this ameen was for Rafeeq.
format_quote Originally Posted by solfa
I'm 17 years old, the oldest of three children, and still living with my parents. About a year ago, I met a Muslim friend who first introduced me to Islam. I grew up with a Christian family (not strict, but Christian nonetheless) and also believed in that religion up until the age of about 13. I had gone through a few things that made me think that God was ignoring me, so I decided to do the same (I know, ridiculous). It wasn't that I stopped believing, it was more so me trying to push religion and God to the back of my mind (which now I can see was mainly an excuse for my laziness and ignorance).
When my friend first mentioned Islam, I wasn't really interested and had little knowledge of it at that point. But, a while later I started putting more thought into it and taking it more seriously. I found Islam to be so beautiful and peaceful. If I ever thought of a question, it was always explained with good reasons to back it up. To me, everything just makes sense, something I found was lacking in other religions.
Last week was my first time going to the mosque. I recently met a girl (she had reverted to Islam 2 years ago) who invited me after I told her I was interested.
At the mosque I listened and watched a prayer. I don't know how to describe it, but I just felt something inside my heart the whole time I was there. Any doubt I had about Islam or becoming a Muslim was gone. I can honestly say that I've never felt so sure about something as I do about this.
However, there are a few things that really concern me though. I've yet to recite the Shahadah because of the following:
1. I feel I don't have enough knowledge. I've done enough research to know the basics, but for things like performing salat, I'm not sure about what to say or do without messing up. I also can't read Arabic. I do know for sure that I'm not just rushing into things as I've given this a lot of thought.
2. My family (namely my mother). She holds the typical belief that all Muslims are terrorists, women are inferior and abused, Islam encourages violence and hate, etc. I've tried to explain to her that this isn't true and that these problems exist in all religions, not just Islam, but she's 100% set in what she believes. Just to test out where she really stands, I made a "joke" that I was going to join an Islamic club at school to which she gave me this look and flat out said "Right". Translation: "Don't even joke about that". I was even told I can marry anybody I want, except for a Muslim man. Again, that just reaffirms where she stands on this topic.
Basically, I'm scared of telling her about me wanting to become a Muslim. She knows absolutely nothing about the research I've done, or that I'm even interested in Islam, and especially about my visit to the mosque. I think because I haven't let on about my belief at all she'll be so shocked. I'm scared of how she'll react (she's not exactly the most rational, especially when it comes to something she doesn't understand) My dad was never around, so I have a very close relationship with my mother which is why I'm so sad.
But, with or without her approval, I've already made up my mind and nothing can change that. I just don't know how to tell her. What should I say? When is a good time? Is there anyway I can try and convince her that Islam is not all the bad things she thinks it is? I want to be able to go to the mosque and practice openly without having to lie to her. Another fear I have is that if I tell her, she'll keep me from going, stop talking to me, or punish me for my belief.
I'm really at a loss for what to do or how to do things. I know this was a very long post and I apologize. I just need advice of any kind. Thank you very much.
Take a deep breathe and calm down. Listen to yourself and then accept Islam.
Last edited by Tilmeez; 12-28-2010 at 09:59 AM.
Reason: Why so many post when you could have said this in ONE? You will never reach 50 posts mark if you try getting this by spamming or off topic.
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