couple of questions

format_quote Originally Posted by elina

hi ive put this here as i have a couple of different questions ...sorry if im in the wrong section

Assalamualaikum, my sister in Islam.

My first question is....do I have to choose a Madhab (hope thats the right word) or can I just be muslim fullstop? I still have lots i dont understand and the different schools are really confusing me.

Please wait for other brother/sister who can give you a better answer than me in this mater.

This leads to my second question....my husband (Sunni Shafi) wont touch me after wudu until hes finished salat, sometimes this can be a couple of hours I dont follow this as I dont consider myself anything other than muslim if you know what i mean? He despairs of me that i will touch him (and i mean general touching of arms, face etc, nothing intimate) then do salat, am i doing something wrong by doing this?

I always avoid to touch my wife because in Shafi'i madhab that I follow it will breaks my wudu. But after I finish my salat and zikir I never forbid my wife to kiss my hand. It's automatically breaks my wudu, of course, but what the problem ?, I can take wudu again for the next salat time. I never heard any rule in Shafi'i madhab or in Islam in general that forbid a Muslim to take wudu many times.

Sister, if you want your husband touch you (in general touching, not intimate), you can tell him "honey, you can take wudu again". However, if he still refuse to touch you, it's better if you don't force him. Keep in patience, sister.

format_quote Originally Posted by elina

hi ive put this here as i have a couple of different questions ...sorry if im in the wrong section

My first question is....do I have to choose a Madhab (hope thats the right word) or can I just be muslim fullstop? I still have lots i dont understand and the different schools are really confusing me.

Yes you are Muslim, and that is sufficient. To find answers to your Islamic questions, you would ask a trustworthy scholar who would give you answers to your questions.

This leads to my second question....my husband (Sunni Shafi) wont touch me after wudu until hes finished salat, sometimes this can be a couple of hours I dont follow this as I dont consider myself anything other than muslim if you know what i mean? He despairs of me that i will touch him (and i mean general touching of arms, face etc, nothing intimate) then do salat, am i doing something wrong by doing this?

Being Sunni is a Muslim who follows the Sunnah [example of Prophet Muhammad].

There are 4 main schools which derive laws from the Sunnah of Prophet Muhammad, they are called; Hanafi, Maliki, Shafi'i, and Hanbali schools/madhabs. These schools all use tools to interpret the laws from the Qur'an and Sunnah.


Since your husband is a Shafi'i, it's okay. He is still a Muslim. In the Shafi'i school, they interpret an ayah from the Qur'an of surah al Ma'idah 5:6, where it says [meaning]; "[if] you have touched women and do not find water (to do Wudu), then seek clean earth and wipe over your faces and hands with it."


The Shafi'i school interprets that ayah literally, so they see that if you touch your wife, your wudhu breaks. However, other schools said it is not a literal meaning, but that it means if a man touches their wife with desire, or if they have intimate relations with her. They say that is what is meant.


The best thing would be if your husband did Wudhu again if he did touch. That might make it easier. But if he can't do that, then it might be okay to be patient with him, because he is trying his best to follow Islam.

Allah knows best.

wa salaam alaikum brother.....thanks for your reply he does do wudu again if i touch him and he isnt too bothered but he prefers me not to, sometimes i just completely forget or do it by accident ..... we are normally really close and it feels strange being unable to have contact for a while..... thinking about it i may find it easier if i follow the same rule, that way i will be more aware

elina, in matters when it comes to your husband, it is good to obey his rules. That will make your marriage even better, insha' Allah. We ask Allah to bless it, ameen.

salam qatada and thank you for the explanation of the schools..... i remember reading the ayah you mentioned and i too took it to mean intimately but didnt realise Shafi interpreted it a different way..... thank you, i knew there would be a reason that made sense, i just couldnt find it

format_quote Originally Posted by - Qatada -

elina, in matters when it comes to your husband, it is good to obey his rules. That will make your marriage even better, insha' Allah. We ask Allah to bless it, ameen.

hi again Qatada.... aww i dont disobey him, and we had a chat about it and i explained that i didnt care if he touched me before salat and he was okay with it



Salaam sur and thank you for that

After what I have ben taucht, sexual intercourse breaks wudhuu, but touching other ways dosn't break it.

format_quote Originally Posted by elina

This leads to my second question....my husband (Sunni Shafi) wont touch me after wudu until hes finished salat, sometimes this can be a couple of hours

Just be patient

sister I think following a madhab makes islam a bit easier because you can follow one and have set rules, this helped me stop "fatwa searching" for rules that "met my needs" and i was following my desires rather than a strict opinion. Following a madhab doesn't mean u have to call yourself hanafi, maliki etc. it just means u follow their opinion because they were great scholars and were "nearer" to the time of the prophet (saws). Whether u follow a madhab or don't yor still following someones opinion of a certain hadith etc. so I would say follow the same one as your husband, it would make things easier