Haven't posted in this site for a very long time! Just a little background info before I start..
I am 17 nearly 18 and I am a Sikh(?). 2 years ago I met this one Muslim sister who I came very close with and one day we talked about religion, I then researched further and told her that I would like to become a Muslim. Since then she has helped me by answering any queries I have. She is the same age as me and her Mother also aware of my situtaion.
Although I am aware that as I have not reverted my Namaz will not be counted. I read namaz regularly for practise and in the belief that Allah (SWT) may hear my prayers. Last year I kept ONE whole fast which was tiring to say the least!!!! I also practise wudhu, ghusl and try to say the correct Dua's where appropriate.
I do want to revert but I know 110% that my family will not agree, I love my family too much to put them through the pain of 'losing' their only son. But as one revert told me, love you parents but also love your parents' creator..
I have no idea what to do, I dont want to revert secretly as I know for a fact I will commit sins due to the household I am in. I do not want to treat Allah (SWT) compassion as something so easy. (If that makes sense ). However I do not want to revert publicly due to the shame I will bring my family.
JazakAllah
I have the same exact feeling, many people tell their parents right away, become these amazing people, and everything works out great. Nobody really knows I am Muslim, and that is because, honestly, I am too scared to tell them.
No reverts path is easy, and I know I said that sometimes everything works out great, but every revert to Islam has gone through many troubles. Listen, Allah SWT knows what you are going through. You do not have to quit everything all at once if you convert to Islam. You can take small steps, and maybe even eventually just mentioning to your parents that you are reading about Islam. I would never actually say that you converted, because that makes it seem like you went through a huge ritual and are now stuck in one religion for your whole life.
The Prophet SAWS once said that Eman (faith) comes in waves. I know that the hard way--my Eman wavers dramatically from day to day, and the littlest things can affect it. Sometimes, I will be so elated on faith that I will say I am going to tell my parents that day, other days I think that I should have waited longer to convert to Islam, or start to question my belief in Allah SWT. And I do not know if that is because I am a teenager or it is normal I am the kind of person to hide from confrontation, which I think that you might be too. It feels like you will never ever be able to tell them, right? Well, I am in the same situation. My path has not been easy, no one's has. And that is why you have to have Sabr (patience) in Allah SWT.
Have you heard of the story of the Prophet Yusuf (PBUH)? He was tossed into a well by his jealous brothers, worked as a slave, put into jail for ten years, and eventually he was able to see his beloved father again. So, there is no real answer to what you are going through, but there is no wrong one too. Do what you think is best for you, and your faith.
The most important thing is to make duaa. Make duaa (prayer) that your parents will be guided, that you will have enough strength to tell your parents, and Insha'Allah Allah SWT will answer your duaa!
If Allah afflicts you with a calamity, none can remove it but He;
and if He intends to bestow a favour, none can withhold His bounty.
He bestows it on whomsoever of His servants He pleases; He is the Forgiving, the Merciful.
[Yunus, 10:107]
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). However I do not want to revert publicly due to the shame I will bring my family.
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