New Muslims and asking controversial questions

So....Why do I feel as if you're following me? You have said in other threads that you are not happy with my posts or the way that I pose my questions or respond to others. So please, I will give you the respect of not responding to any of your threads, and I would appreciate if you could give me the same. Maybe I am flawed in my questioning technique. I never claimed to be perfect. And by the way, I attend a new Muslim class every week in order to gain more knowledge of Islam.This post is sincere and addressed to new Muslims, as I would like to get their opinions and experiences on the topic. Shukran.

If we waited until we had full scholarship in Islam prior to entering, we'd all be doomed because there is always more knowledge to be gained and no one is aware of when this life will be over.

Thanks for your response. I do receive answers from some people, and they are brief. They then tell me that I should definitely refer it to a scholar as they don't feel qualified to answer and they would hate to mislead me.

format_quote Originally Posted by MissK

As a new Muslim, does anyone else feel as if they're ability to learn is stifled because other Muslims are unwilling (or unable)to engage in sound dialogue?

No. Other Muslims happily taught me what they knew and whatever they didn't know they referred me to someone more knowledgeable the first few months after I took my shahada. I like that a lot. When I was a Christian it was easy to just go to the pastor of a church and ask questions but when they didn't have the answer they told you to just believe. After that all you could do was turn to God for answers then which is what got me interested in Islam.

format_quote Originally Posted by MissK

Alhumdilallah! Now as a Muslim, I have a lot to learn, and I am not the type of person to whom you can say "just believe" or "that's just the way it is."

I'm glad no one has EVER told me that as a Muslim. In fact over and over and over again I am cautioned against blind faith. Very first Muslim I met when I was at the university said one of the reasons why she loved the religion was because asking questions was welcomed. I thought that was cool coming from a Christian background where the answers to my normal questions were "just have faith."

format_quote Originally Posted by MissK

Yet, I find that when I ask "why" about anything, I usually get people looking at me as if I disbelieve.

I haven't seen many questions from you on here but I've seen a few of your comments. You really have to be careful about the way you're asking questions. It's one thing to ask a question about how to pray salah or why we have to pray toward the Qibla. It's another thing to teeter on completely doubting the authenticity of the hadith without first even knowing or understanding how they're preserved. That's a huge deal and there is entirely too much nonsense out there masked as Islam. I studied Islam a good 4 years before I finally just took my shahada. Enough to get the basics and I still feel like I know nothing. I still can't wait to read and understand the Quran for the first time in Arabic, in shaa Allah. I kept trying to find something wrong or bad about the religion so I would have an excuse not to accept it. I agree with you that you shouldn't try to wait until you learn "everything" about Islam because that alone is going to take a lifetime and even then there would probably have been more you could have learned. But certainly before you became a Muslim some of the basic stuff you studied and questioned beforehand?

Another thing is that if you're a fairly new Muslim like me, the doubts and the waswas are going to come on strong. You're going to be fighting with yourself a lot to keep your new found faith and everywhere you look is going to be something to try and take you off the path. Tests are going to come and if you thought you knew what it meant to be patient the word is going to be completely redefined now. Most Muslims aren't scholars and they don't want to mislead you. Anything they tell you at this point could be enough to make you walk away from the religion all together because your world view is very much shaped by an old way of thinking before you were Muslim. I used to think housewives were sad and pathetic because I was influenced by that feminist mentality that is rampant here in the U.S. and now I would love the chance to be a wife and mother in shaa Allah. But that's why some people shy away from answering such questions because they don't want to be the ones to mislead you. I think that the first few years after coming into Islam is when a revert is the most mentally vulnerable. I'm still not in the clear yet.

Lastly, we get a lot of awful, sad people on this forum who insist on causing problems here. Some of them fake Muslims. Some of them so-called ex-Muslims claiming to be Christians. Many of us here have tried to reach out and help those we really thought were in need but they turned out to just be here to deceive us. I myself made this mistake trying to help someone who I thought was a sister here but turned out not to be. Don't hold it against some of the other members here if they are skeptical of the questions you ask--especially if they're framed in an in-your-face kind of way or touching on anti-Islamic rhetoric. We get a whole lot of people here who just love to post questions they read from anti-Islam websites and it's old, it's pitiful and it's tiring. People type out long replies and often times they get ignored by such members or completely not addressed. No one wants to waste their time doing something like that to help a fellow Muslim out when they're not sincere to begin with. That's time one could have been doing dhikr or listening to an awesome Islamic lecture instead.

Don't be too hard on sis شَادِنُ either. When I was a Christian on this forum she was one of the first ones to reach out and help me learn a lot about Islam personally.

May Allah increase us all in faith, help us all become more knowledgeable in this religion and help us worship Him in the way that is pleasing. Ameen.

format_quote Originally Posted by Aprender

You really have to be careful about the way you're asking questions. It's one thing to ask a question about how to pray salah or why we have to pray toward the Qibla. It's another thing to teeter on completely doubting the authenticity of the hadith without first even knowing or understanding how they're preserved.

You're right. I actually have learned quite a bit about hadith and the preservation because I find that most of the support I get is based on the hadith. I didn't feel that I could follow it (in good conscience) until I knew where it came from, who was responsible for it, etc. So that prompted my further interest in its history. Neverthless, I didn't feel the need to preface my questions with why I was asking, but maybe if readers were better aware of my intent, they'd be more open to the questions.

format_quote Originally Posted by Aprender

We get a whole lot of people here who just love to post questions they read from anti-Islam websites and it's old, it's pitiful and it's tiring. People type out long replies and often times they get ignored by such members or completely not addressed. No one wants to waste their time doing something like that to help a fellow Muslim out when they're not sincere to begin with.

Point taken. At the same time, I think we (myself included) have to be careful not to read into questions/responses without knowing the intent behind them. I often tell my friends to stop arguing with people through text messages, IMs, etc because its very easy to misinterpret someone's tone in these settings, especially when you don't know them personally. I have Christian friends now who are asking me questions about Islam, (some simple that I can answer, and some more difficult that I can't). If I didn't know them personally, I might assume that they had ill intentions. But I do get what your saying.

Thanks for your response! It was really very helpful. I think the issue that i'm experiencing is linked first to my location. I started to think about what I have experienced thus far and the culture in this area, as well as the language barrier that presents itself. While I have received the response I mentioned earlier from some people, I think that my feeling silenced in general comes from my surroundings rather than people being unwilling to help. Sometimes I just don't ask questions because I don't want my meaning or intent to be lost in translation.
Alhumdilallah, I do have one very good American Muslim friend here who goes out of her way to help me gain a better understanding of Islam or at least listen to my questions without judgement.

Wow! I see a lot of sense in a few of those posts and at the same time I see where sister missk is coming from,I myself am a new muslim and being born an raised in london find it hard to not to question a lot of things however it doesn't necessarily mean ones being rude or ignorant. Don't get me wrong this is the only post of missk's I've read but my point is unfortunately we are all moulded by the society around us and if for all our lives we've had a 1 way of thinking then it is very hard for some to just "accept" what we're learning now without asking what some may see as simple to understand. And to be fair it isn't always that easy to get the answers from highly educated muslims unless you know where to find said individuals. I personally find a lot of useful stuff about islam from peace tv sky channel 820 and due to the fact there's speakers from across the globe from china-usa and india-england I found it very eye opening and that same dr bilal phillips is there too. I'd suggest sis missk that maybe you look through what you write before posting but NEVER be afraid to ask because how can we learn properly without asking questions. For anyone who disagrees maybe you should try jumping outside of the box just for a moment and think how you'd feel if confronted with something you know nothing about and I say that in a polite friendly sense not a rude one. Love to all and I Hope Allah swt guides us to knowledge and the correct path. Mikey

format_quote Originally Posted by MissK

As a new Muslim, does anyone else feel as if they're ability to learn is stifled because other Muslims are unwilling (or unable)to engage in sound dialogue?

One thing that caused me to revert to Islam was the questions that I could not find answers to in Christianity. The ones I needed most, I found answers to in Islam, Alhumdilallah! Now as a Muslim, I have a lot to learn, and I am not the type of person to whom you can say "just believe" or "that's just the way it is." So I study and research, and ultimately, I ask questions. I'd like to ask those questions of other Muslims, born Muslims, those who are more versed in Islam than I am. Yet, I find that when I ask "why" about anything, I usually get people looking at me as if I disbelieve.

So although I live in a Muslim country where I am daily surrounded by Muslim friends, I find myself feeling silenced. I know its hard to have your beliefs and actions questioned, but isn't it the role of Muslims to help guide those who are new to the religion? And as a born or new Muslim, aren't we required to seek further knowledge and understanding of Islam? How can we do this without asking questions?

Maybe it's because of my current place of residence. Does anyone feel as if they get this same result in the US?

Assalamu alaikum, MissK!

Honestly, sis, it depends on what you are asking, and how it is worded. Muslims, like any other, first and foremost are human and most humans do not like to be challenged or doubted (even if that is not your intent).
Before converting to Islam, I studied with and hung around Muslims. I took beginner classes at the Masjid to get the basics. I learned to practice Wudu so that Allah would grant me a clean heart, body, and mind before I opened His Glorious Book and misinterpreted or misunderstood it.

Be patient, as it is a process. You live and learn as you go. Pray and practice in sincerity and Allah SWT will surely guide you.

You will not be blamed for something that you have no knowledge of. I am answering you now, yet I cannot quote from the Quran like some of the more learned Muslims here, because I do not wish to misguide you or have you think that I know something that I simply do not know.

Here is where you can start:
Begin by learning basic Wudu and Salat in your language (then in Arabic). There are books and numerous websites to follow. You can ask me about this.
Practice duas. Start simple. Ask Allah for guidance and mercy. Thank Allah.
Cover and protect yourself (Hijab)
Go to masjid when possible to consult with the Imam.

Thanks for your response. :-) I actually have done and continue to do the things you've mentioned. I think the problem for me is the last one. Speaking with an Imam is difficult, as where I live, English speaking Imams are hard to find. In the meantime, I will continue to read and learn what I can on my own and inshallah, the guidance from Allah will come.