Is getting married really as hard as they make it out to be?

**leilas** · 11-23-2013

Salaam Aleikum,

I have heard many stories about muslims not wanting to marry reverts? Is it really as hard as people make it out to be or is exaggerated? Has anyone had any experience with this? Shokran!

**ardianto** · 11-23-2013

Wa'alaikumsalam

I think it's depend on culture. In Indonesia new Muslims never have this problem. I myself have few married friends who are revert, and they embraced Islam before they got married.

**saifdeen** · 11-23-2013

I am not sure how it's to do with culture or environment . A friend of mine who reverted when we were younger, he was 16 at the time, managed to get married 5 times before he was 20. Of course those were done in haste and in youth which is probably why they didn't last long. However similarly other reverts have no trouble of finding spouses.

**Eric H** · 11-23-2013

Greetings and peace be with you saifdeen;

A friend of mine who reverted when we were younger, he was 16 at the time, managed to get married 5 times before he was 20.

Getting married is the easy bit, staying married is the tough part, men and women are just so different, even without taking religion into consideration. Allah first, spouse second and your own needs last, that would work, we tend to do the opposite, self first, spouse second and Allah last, a sure recipe for disaster.

Blessings

Eric

**Aprender** · 11-23-2013

I'm not really sure. I'm a revert and haven't received any marriage proposals. Some of it could be cultural but I know other reverts here who were able to get married. I suppose it just depends on...who you are. What you look like. What you like. Your commitment to the religion. Things like that. The regular standards for anyone.

I've read some stories of people on this forum mentioning bad experiences about marrying reverts who end up going back to their "old ways" but I think that's a minority opinion. Most of the reverts I know are genuinely committed to Islam.