Stories of Muslim Reverts! - Post yours here!

**Ansar Al-'Adl** · 02-01-2005

If you are a revert please add your story here, because it is very inspiring Alhamdullilah.

There are several stories on this site:
http://thetruereligion.org/modules/xfsection/

I'll post a few:

Lara

Bismillah ar-Rahman ar-Raheem
DISCOVERING ISLAM: A CANADIAN MUSLIMA'S STORY
April 25, 1996

As-Salamu Alaikum wa Rahmahtullahi wa Barakatu (May the peace, the mercy, and the blessings of Allah be upon you).

I am Canadian-born of Scandinavian and other ancestry, and I was raised in Canada. I have been a Muslima since February 1993 when I was 23. While growing up, I was never affiliated with any religion nor was I an atheist. When I was in my mid-teens I started to think somewhat about religion and at that time I did believe in the Oneness of God (Tawheed). Christianity never interested me.

My first contact with Muslims occurred when I was introduced to some Muslim international students in 1988. Through them I learned a bit about Islam, such as Ramadan fasting. But it was really not until 1992 that I became interested in Islam. In the summer of that year a Canadian newspaper published a series of articles attacking Islam by using examples of anti-Islamic behaviour of some Muslims in an attempt to vilify Islam itself. Non-Muslims tend to judge Islam on the basis of the behaviour (which is not necessarily Islamic) of Muslims. I was not yet a Muslima but the articles were so outrageous that I sent a letter to the editor in defence of Islam. Now I was curious about Islam. I re-read some articles I had picked up several months earlier from the MSA Islam Awareness Week display at my university. One was about 'Isa (Alaihe Salam) [Jesus] as a Prophet of Islam. Also, I asked a Muslim to get me some books about Islam; they were about the overall ideology of Islam and were written by two famous Muslim authors. Impressed, I thought, "This is Islam? It seems so right." Over the next few months in my free time while attending university I continued to learn about Islam from authentic Islamic books, for example The Life of Muhammad (Salallahu Alaihe wa Salam) by Dr. Muhammad Haykal. One certainly does not learn the truth about Islam from the mass media! Also, newcomers to Islam especially must be careful to avoid the writings of deviant groups which claim ties to Islam so as not to be misled. And just because the author has an Arabic name does not necessarily mean that he or she is a knowledgeable Muslim or even Muslim at all. Also, I learned about Islam from some kind, knowledgeable Muslims and Muslimas who did not pressure me. Meanwhile, I had begun to Islamize my behaviour which did not require huge change. I already avoided consuming alcohol and pig meat. Also, I always preferred to dress conservatively/modestly and not wear makeup, perfume, or jewellery outside my home. I started to eat only Islamically slaughtered meat. Also during this time I visited a masjid (mosque) in my city for the first time.

Until I discovered Islam, I knew almost nothing about it. I say discovered because the "Islam" that I had always heard about through the mass media is not true Islam. I had always assumed that Islam is just another man-made religion, not knowing that it is the Truth. I had also assumed that a person had to be raised as a Muslim to be one. I was not aware of the fact that all humans are born Muslim (in a state of Islam - submitted to the Creator). Like many "Westerners" I associated Islam with the "East" and did not know that Islam is universal in both time and place. However, I never had negative feelings about Islam, al-Hamdulillah. The more knowledge that I acquired about Islam, the more I felt that I too can actually be Muslim as I found that many of the beliefs that I already had were actually Islamic not merely "common sense."

So after familiarizing myself with what Islam is basically about and what are the duties and proper conduct of a Muslim person, as well as thinking and reflecting, I felt ready to accept Islam and live as a Muslima. One day while at home I said the Shahada (declaration of faith) and began to perform the five daily salawat (prayers), al-Hamdulillah. That was in February 1993, several days before the fasting month of Ramadan began. I did not want to miss the fasting this time! I found the fasting to be much easier than I had anticipated; before I fasted I had worried that I might faint. At first there was a bit of an adjustment period getting used to the new routine of performing salah and fasting, and I made some mistakes, but it was exciting and not difficult. I started to read the Qur'an (Abdullah Yusuf Ali's translation) when I was given one soon after accepting Islam. Before that I had read only excerpts of it in other books. Also in the beginning, I found The Lawful and the Prohibited in Islam by Dr. Yusuf al-Qaradawi to be a useful guide.

In January 1996 (during Ramadan) I started to wear the Islamic headscarf (hijab). I realized that I could not fully submit to Allah (SWT), which is what being Muslim is about, without wearing it. Islam must be accepted and practised in its entirety; it is not an "alter-to-suit-yourself" religion. Since becoming a Muslima I was aware that the headscarf is required of Muslim women and I had intended to wear it eventually. I should have worn it immediately upon accepting Islam but for many Muslimas (even some from Muslim families) it is not easy to take that step and put it on in a non-Muslim society. It is silly how so many persons get upset over a piece of fabric! Also, it is interesting to note that Christian nuns are never criticized for covering their heads. Never in my life did I have negative feelings toward muhajjabas (women who wear hijab) when I saw them. What made me hesitate to put it on was fearing receiving bad treatment from others, especially family. But we must fear Allah (SWT) only, not others. In the few months before I permanently put on hijab I started "practising" wearing it. I wore it when I travelled between my home and the local masjid on Fridays when I started attending the jum'a salah (Friday congregational prayer). (Of course, since becoming Muslim I always wore it during every salah). A couple of weeks prior, in du'a I began asking Allah (SWT) to make it easy for me to wear it.

The day I finally put it on permanently I had reached the point where I felt that I could no longer go out with a bare head, and I thought "tough bananas" if others do not like me wearing it since I alone am accountable for my actions and am required to perform my Islamic duties, and I could never please everyone anyway. Sometimes opposition to hijab is a control issue: some persons just plainly do not like those who are determined and independent especially if it is their child.

Upon wearing it I immediately felt protected and was finally able to go out and not be the target of stares/leers from men. At first I felt a bit self-conscious but after several weeks I felt completely used to wearing hijab. Sometimes other persons look puzzled/confused, I think because they are not used to seeing pale-faced, blue-eyed Muslimas! By the way, wearing hijab is da'wah in a way as it draws attention to Islam.

Since accepting Islam I continue to seek knowledge about the Deen (religion) which is a lifelong duty for all Muslims--male and female. Currently, I am learning Arabic and hope to be able to read the Qur'an in Arabic soon, insha'Allah. Reading, discussing Islam with other Muslims, and the Friday jum'a khutba are all educational. Striving to be as pious as one can be and fighting against one's own evil traits (jihad al-nafs) takes effort and is continuous and never ending for Muslims.

I find Islam ever-more fascinating, and I enjoy living as a Muslima.

**Raziah** · 06-25-2010

Alsalam alikum,

Such a nice story,Danah. Thank you so much for sharing it with us.
May Allah bless your life..

**yasin ibn Ahmad** · 07-09-2010

assalaam alaikoum all
long time no write,
I just want to ask if these stories are copyrighted.May I translate some of them in my mother lang and maybe one day press them?

**Muslim Woman** · 07-10-2010

Walaykum as Salaam

Originally Posted by yasin ibn Ahmad

assalaam alaikoum all
long time no write,
I just want to ask if these stories are copyrighted.May I translate some of them in my mother lang and maybe one day press them?

I also asked this question few days back , did not get any reply

**Rabi Mansur** · 07-11-2010

I am a little bit apprehensive about this, but thought I would post my story here. It definitely is not one of your average revert stories. This is a condensed version.

First, a little about my religious background. I was born Mormon in a devout family in the Northwest USA. The heart of Mormon country is Utah, and I was born and raised there. If you are familiar with Mormons you will understand my upbringing. It was a pretty conservative lifestyle, and we attended church every Sunday, read the scriptures, etc. When I was out of high school I went on a mission for the church. Young men are expected at age 19 to serve a 2 year mission for the church and try and convert other people. I was sent to Japan for 2 years and actually baptized a few people. A mission can be a very challenging experience as you are expected to read and study the scriptures daily, learn the language, keep the strict mission rules, go door to door seeking converts, etc. Japan is mostly Buddhist but actually atheist IMO so it was a constant challenge for me, less than 1 percent of the population is Christian. By the end of my two years, even though I actually had a hand in converting some people to Mormonism, I began to have doubts about my own religion. Much of Mormonism is based on a prophet (Joseph Smith) who supposedly restored scripture and the true christian church to the earth. I learned enough on my mission from constant study of the bible and other scriptures that it was doubtful that he was actually a true prophet. I also figured out that the leadership of the Mormon church had withheld a lot of negative information about Joseph Smith. This was very disturbing to me and caused me to begin to lose my faith.

Anyway, after serving two years in Japan I came home, went to college, got married and started a family. I tried to keep up appearances that I believed in Mormonism but eventually it just got too difficult. It was just so obvious that the Mormon church started as a fraud that I couldn't keep attending. There was a mountain of evidence I found on the internet that prove it was false. I started to drift away and then I started an intensive study of other religions. I studied the bible in the original languages, considered Judaism, Catholicism, etc. I even spent time studying Hinduism, and about everything else I could. In 2000 I started to read the Quran and actually felt good about Islam. It made a certain amount of sense to me. Then 9/11 happened. I had such a negative reaction to Islam at that point that I stopped studying altogether. I wondered how anyone could consider themselves to be religious and then turn around and commit such evil.

For a few years I drifted. The only thing that made sense to me was science. And I guess you could say I was an agnostic. I didn't really believe in anything. I couldn't say one way or another whether God existed.

Then a few things began to happen to me that were somewhat serendipitous. I met a couple of Muslims who impressed me. I couldn't get them out of my mind. I had a spiritual experience concerning them. I found out I had some Arab ancestors. I had a chance to learn some basic Arabic. Something was coming alive inside of me. I went back and began to study the Quran again and learned that there is a big difference between true Islam and what is portrayed in the media. Muslims are not terrorists. I started posting on Islamicboard and learning more about Islam. It all came together. I slowly felt that something was unfolding inside of me. I just realized one day that I was a Muslim and always had been. I believed in one God. I believed that Muhammad really was a prophet. I loved Jesus and all of the scriptures and didn't have to reject what I knew to be true. It all opened up to me and I just surrendered to it.

I found a site online and did Shahadah on April 9, 2010. I learned how to do Salat. I memorized the opening of the Quran.

So now I am a new revert. But I have to remain somewhat secret from my family. They hate Islam. I am in the middle of a very conservative, Republican region and all of my friends hate Muslims. They don't understand it. I have to practice in secret. I live hundreds of miles from a Masjid. But I am okay. I love my new faith. I love my new life.

everything will be okay.

Peace and love.

P.S. The Muslim name I have adopted is Rabi Mansur. Mansur means one helped by God or victorious. I think that is appropriate for what I have been through. Rabi means something like gentle wind, but it is close to my given name so when I put them together it made sense to me.

**Muslim Woman** · 07-11-2010

Salaam

[QUOTE=Rabi Mansur;1346884So now I am a new revert..[/QUOTE]

Welcoem to Islam , brother . May Allah bless you always and guide your family members .

**syilla** · 07-11-2010

MashaAllah akheee....... Thank you soo much for sharing with us your story. You have truly inspired us. Please make dua for us too since you're new revert and have less sins than us huhu

**Insaanah** · 07-12-2010

Originally Posted by Rabi Mansur

I am a little bit apprehensive about this, but thought I would post my story here. It definitely is not one of your average revert stories. This is a condensed version.

First, a little about my religious background. I was born Mormon in a devout family in the Northwest USA. The heart of Mormon country is Utah, and I was born and raised there. If you are familiar with Mormons you will understand my upbringing. It was a pretty conservative lifestyle, and we attended church every Sunday, read the scriptures, etc. When I was out of high school I went on a mission for the church. Young men are expected at age 19 to serve a 2 year mission for the church and try and convert other people. I was sent to Japan for 2 years and actually baptized a few people. A mission can be a very challenging experience as you are expected to read and study the scriptures daily, learn the language, keep the strict mission rules, go door to door seeking converts, etc. Japan is mostly Buddhist but actually atheist IMO so it was a constant challenge for me, less than 1 percent of the population is Christian. By the end of my two years, even though I actually had a hand in converting some people to Mormonism, I began to have doubts about my own religion. Much of Mormonism is based on a prophet (Joseph Smith) who supposedly restored scripture and the true christian church to the earth. I learned enough on my mission from constant study of the bible and other scriptures that it was doubtful that he was actually a true prophet. I also figured out that the leadership of the Mormon church had withheld a lot of negative information about Joseph Smith. This was very disturbing to me and caused me to begin to lose my faith.

Anyway, after serving two years in Japan I came home, went to college, got married and started a family. I tried to keep up appearances that I believed in Mormonism but eventually it just got too difficult. It was just so obvious that the Mormon church started as a fraud that I couldn't keep attending. There was a mountain of evidence I found on the internet that prove it was false. I started to drift away and then I started an intensive study of other religions. I studied the bible in the original languages, considered Judaism, Catholicism, etc. I even spent time studying Hinduism, and about everything else I could. In 2000 I started to read the Quran and actually felt good about Islam. It made a certain amount of sense to me. Then 9/11 happened. I had such a negative reaction to Islam at that point that I stopped studying altogether. I wondered how anyone could consider themselves to be religious and then turn around and commit such evil.

For a few years I drifted. The only thing that made sense to me was science. And I guess you could say I was an agnostic. I didn't really believe in anything. I couldn't say one way or another whether God existed.

Then a few things began to happen to me that were somewhat serendipitous. I met a couple of Muslims who impressed me. I couldn't get them out of my mind. I had a spiritual experience concerning them. I found out I had some Arab ancestors. I had a chance to learn some basic Arabic. Something was coming alive inside of me. I went back and began to study the Quran again and learned that there is a big difference between true Islam and what is portrayed in the media. Muslims are not terrorists. I started posting on Islamicboard and learning more about Islam. It all came together. I slowly felt that something was unfolding inside of me. I just realized one day that I was a Muslim and always had been. I believed in one God. I believed that Muhammad really was a prophet. I loved Jesus and all of the scriptures and didn't have to reject what I knew to be true. It all opened up to me and I just surrendered to it.

I found a site online and did Shahadah on April 9, 2010. I learned how to do Salat. I memorized the opening of the Quran.

So now I am a new revert. But I have to remain somewhat secret from my family. They hate Islam. I am in the middle of a very conservative, Republican region and all of my friends hate Muslims. They don't understand it. I have to practice in secret. I live hundreds of miles from a Masjid. But I am okay. I love my new faith. I love my new life.

everything will be okay.

Peace and love.

P.S. The Muslim name I have adopted is Rabi Mansur. Mansur means one helped by God or victorious. I think that is appropriate for what I have been through. Rabi means something like gentle wind, but it is close to my given name so when I put them together it made sense to me.

brother,

What a beautiful story and jazaakallah khair for sharing it with us. All praise be to Allah who guided you to the right path, and may He make things easy for you, guide your family also, and keep you steadfast. Ameen.

**Rabi Mansur** · 07-13-2010

Originally Posted by syilla

MashaAllah akheee....... Thank you soo much for sharing with us your story. You have truly inspired us. Please make dua for us too since you're new revert and have less sins than us huhu

I will make dua for all of you. This board has had a profound impact on me. My heart is full when I think of how you all have helped me over the past months.

**Muslim Woman** · 07-13-2010

As-Salaam Alaikum Wa-Rahmatullahi Wa-Barakatuhu

A Journey Towards the Light!

...I was born and raised up in a Christian – catholic family, and had a much uncomplicated childhood, living in Denmark.

...I searched for books, and began to read more often, even went to a Mosque, and was invited to come back as much I liked.

..For quit some years, I was Shia, and worked with dawah and other Islamic things, to teach others and to help the new, coming to Islam, with prayers and much more, I was making fundraising, site's on the net and translating books, even I made Islamic movies and traveled around talking about Islam in public.

My time, as Shia, was doubtful, and for me a time, when I discovered mistakes, and uncorrected teachings of Islam.

Sure, I was, at a time, so very convinced, that being shia was the right way, and the right path. But deep inside, I had the doubt, and kept turning back to my books, when I was following Sunnah of the Prophet, salallahu alaihi wasallam, and the Qur'an. Because deep inside, I felt lost, which was right? In the end, I had to realize, that being Shia was not the correct way, of traveling towards Paradise.

So after a long time, of thinking, and waving between the differences, I made the choice, to follow The Sunnah, as being righteous and best way to be a true and sincere Muslim. I know, that for many new coming to Islam, it is difficult, as today so much different information is to find out there. But one should remain towards Qur'an and the Sunnah of the Prophet, salallahu alaihi wa sallam, then nothing can go wrong, and then you are on the right path

..I can proudly say: how lucky I am, because I am a Muslim.

Aminah Naila Johansen.

***
I know this convert sis from other forum . She is very active in dawah. Sadly her computer is out of order and she does not have money to repair it anymore or buy a new one. So , she is just sitting
idle at home sadd 1 - Stories of Muslim Reverts! - Post yours here!

sadd 1 - Stories of Muslim Reverts! - Post yours here!

So , if anyone wants to help the convert sis to continue her dawah works , pl. do it and may Allah reward u abundanly .

If you have an active PayPal account please send any amount of money to [email protected] and it needs to be in $USD (United States Of America Currency)

If you do not have a PayPal account then go to http://www.PayPal.com/ now and join up as it is free and then send what you can into the forums account: [email protected]

barakallah 1 - Stories of Muslim Reverts! - Post yours here!

barakallah 1 - Stories of Muslim Reverts! - Post yours here!

**جوري** · 07-15-2010

Masha'Allah.. beautiful story Rabi, and may Allah swt always make you victorious .. funny how 911 had such a negative impact on me too as a Muslim and I wasn't practicing much before that either, it really helped me have a second look at my faith and in a strange way I think if it hadn't happened I'd have kept being a mediocre Muslim and only so in name only..

Sob7an Allah..

**souhaib** · 07-24-2010

Mach'Allah ..., i got touched by your story good luck for every thing i may allah help you for what you are doing for the Islam

-

**souhaib** · 07-24-2010

Mach'Allah ..., i got touched by your story good luck for every thing i may allah help you for what you are doing for the Islam

**Danah** · 07-25-2010

Originally Posted by Rabi Mansur

I am a little bit apprehensive about this, but thought I would post my story here. It definitely is not one of your average revert stories. This is a condensed version.

First, a little about my religious background. I was born Mormon in a devout family in the Northwest USA. The heart of Mormon country is Utah, and I was born and raised there. If you are familiar with Mormons you will understand my upbringing. It was a pretty conservative lifestyle, and we attended church every Sunday, read the scriptures, etc. When I was out of high school I went on a mission for the church. Young men are expected at age 19 to serve a 2 year mission for the church and try and convert other people. I was sent to Japan for 2 years and actually baptized a few people. A mission can be a very challenging experience as you are expected to read and study the scriptures daily, learn the language, keep the strict mission rules, go door to door seeking converts, etc. Japan is mostly Buddhist but actually atheist IMO so it was a constant challenge for me, less than 1 percent of the population is Christian. By the end of my two years, even though I actually had a hand in converting some people to Mormonism, I began to have doubts about my own religion. Much of Mormonism is based on a prophet (Joseph Smith) who supposedly restored scripture and the true christian church to the earth. I learned enough on my mission from constant study of the bible and other scriptures that it was doubtful that he was actually a true prophet. I also figured out that the leadership of the Mormon church had withheld a lot of negative information about Joseph Smith. This was very disturbing to me and caused me to begin to lose my faith.

Anyway, after serving two years in Japan I came home, went to college, got married and started a family. I tried to keep up appearances that I believed in Mormonism but eventually it just got too difficult. It was just so obvious that the Mormon church started as a fraud that I couldn't keep attending. There was a mountain of evidence I found on the internet that prove it was false. I started to drift away and then I started an intensive study of other religions. I studied the bible in the original languages, considered Judaism, Catholicism, etc. I even spent time studying Hinduism, and about everything else I could. In 2000 I started to read the Quran and actually felt good about Islam. It made a certain amount of sense to me. Then 9/11 happened. I had such a negative reaction to Islam at that point that I stopped studying altogether. I wondered how anyone could consider themselves to be religious and then turn around and commit such evil.

For a few years I drifted. The only thing that made sense to me was science. And I guess you could say I was an agnostic. I didn't really believe in anything. I couldn't say one way or another whether God existed.

Then a few things began to happen to me that were somewhat serendipitous. I met a couple of Muslims who impressed me. I couldn't get them out of my mind. I had a spiritual experience concerning them. I found out I had some Arab ancestors. I had a chance to learn some basic Arabic. Something was coming alive inside of me. I went back and began to study the Quran again and learned that there is a big difference between true Islam and what is portrayed in the media. Muslims are not terrorists. I started posting on Islamicboard and learning more about Islam. It all came together. I slowly felt that something was unfolding inside of me. I just realized one day that I was a Muslim and always had been. I believed in one God. I believed that Muhammad really was a prophet. I loved Jesus and all of the scriptures and didn't have to reject what I knew to be true. It all opened up to me and I just surrendered to it.

I found a site online and did Shahadah on April 9, 2010. I learned how to do Salat. I memorized the opening of the Quran.

So now I am a new revert. But I have to remain somewhat secret from my family. They hate Islam. I am in the middle of a very conservative, Republican region and all of my friends hate Muslims. They don't understand it. I have to practice in secret. I live hundreds of miles from a Masjid. But I am okay. I love my new faith. I love my new life.

everything will be okay.

Peace and love.

P.S. The Muslim name I have adopted is Rabi Mansur. Mansur means one helped by God or victorious. I think that is appropriate for what I have been through. Rabi means something like gentle wind, but it is close to my given name so when I put them together it made sense to me.

When I firstly notice your name I was wondering if I noticed you in LI before being a non-Muslim..After I read your story I remembered that you are a member here and just changed your username a bit.

Alhumdulilah that Allah guided you to Islam, your story inspired me indeed. May Allah keep you and us steadfast on the right path. Can I post your story in my website?

**nawaz254** · 08-03-2010

Dear Brother,
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**Amoeba** · 10-13-2010

Just reading these increases my... uh... what's that word... means something like faith. But it feels nice.

I do have a revert story but it's not very interesting to an outsider. But I'm going to post it anyway because it helps me:

A little background on me. I was born into an unstable family. They weren't bad people but the relations were frayed. They were loving but very negative most of the time, looking on the cloudier side of life, glass was always half empty to them, that kind of thing. My parents were teenagers and split up when I was three. Mum worked a lot after we moved out of my grandparents' house. Being unable to see my dad I can remember broke my heart, I wailed and sobbed for a long time for him. But I was that quiet, non-aggressive type who eventually just gave in to whatever happened, I developed coping mechanisms such as immersion in fantasy, drawing animals, masturbation (yes, as early as five years old) and talking to myself a lot. I was also a very sensitive child in a rough neighbourhood and didn't make any real friends. I also love(d) animals and cried when someone squished a bug.

I never at any point had any concept of God until primary school when a very vague version of Christianity was forced upon is. We were expected to pray and sing hymns. I did it, but my heart wasn't into it. I couldn't grasp what or who this "God" was so I just decided it was another fantasy, one I didn't take any notion to. At that age dragons and dinosaurs were far more interesting to me. That and drawing. By this stage drawing animals was the only real skill I had and it's one I totally focused all my attention on. Fictional worlds were my home, I didn't live in the real world.

Teenage years were more troublesome. Over my early school years I had developed behavioural problems and couldn't adjust to socialising with children my own age. I just did and said a lot of strange things, things that seemed strange to everyone else but perfectly normal to me. So when I entered high school I was in for a wee bit of a shock. Needless to say, in a western public school in a low-income area in a school that's renowned for being really bad, I did not have friends. I could have had friends if I had adjusted, but I couldn't adjust no matter how hard I tried. I was too sensitive and unwilling to hurt people, and in that school being a jerk was the only way to score friends. So I started just being scary. I decided if I wasn't going to have friends I at least wanted to prevent people from picking on me. So I started dressing scary and acting scary and I became very much a typical teenage brat. I liked baggy jeans and baggy tops and lots and lots of baggy things. People steered away from me in the corridors, but I still got picked on. I tried putting on this tough-guy(girl) façade but it didn't work too well. Still, I had a lot of dark twisted thoughts and said some really frightening things that still scare me to this day. I cursed God a lot, I cursed life, I cursed everything good. I was so, so ungrateful. And at the same time still very much (or even more so) out of touch with reality as I was before entering school.

I was very angry at the western system because I couldn't accept that it was the be-all and end-all of life like I was taught it was. My family were a very typical atheist western family and I hated the fact that I just didn't fit in. I had a lot of moral values back then that I didn't share with my family. I frequently judged them (I know I shouldn't have) by what they watched on TV, the way they talked to one another and the way they were much like big children that never grew up (I still think this in some ways, but a lot has changed and they're different now). Same goes for the teachers. I couldn't put my finger on what was wrong with the system, it just was wrong to me. It lacked morals, lacked humanity, lacked something that felt real. So, as ever, I was further immersed in fantasy but for the first time I was beginning to want to see beyond fantasy and see the reality. I became angry and frustrated that I couldn't see the reality because I didn't know where to look.

There was this one friend I had that didn't abandon me even though my other so-called friends did. After high school we stayed in touch and became the closest friends. What drew me to this person was that he was patient and kind, didn't judge me, gentle, and seemed to think on a much deeper level than most of the other kids. I was much like that too, thinking on much deeper levels and always wondering how others could get on with their lives without touching upon these depths, the tough questions nobody wants to ask. Yeah, that's right, I was a pseudo-philosophical pot-smoking brat after high school, lol. Though, like my friend, I would rather agonize over questions regarding life and reality than sleep easy. That's just the way my brain worked. I guess I kind of knew I was missing something important and there was this urgency to find it...

I was still pretty messed up. I think probably because I was still very socially immature despite my age! I was like an eight-year-old trapped in a seventeen-year-old's body, except I felt I had destroyed my own innocence with drugs and sex and alcohol. So immature, so ungrateful, and so naive.

After getting my thoughts together I decided to follow my friend and explore college courses and try and "make something of myself" as the saying goes. Despite my failure in high school I was still orientated for academia and (not to brag) quite intelligent, teachers had always said how intelligent I was, even ones who hated my guts. So I felt it was my only option. By this point I was still drawing lots and lots but figured "what good am I going to do for the world by drawing animals?" (yeah I was ambitious), and felt going back to school was my only real option. Then my friend told me he was a muslim. I didn't really care to be honest, he was still my best friend, but I really, really didn't care. So I was just like "... okay. So?" He was just relieved that I didn't take it badly so it was all good.

Over time Islam became a topic of conversation with increasing frequency. But rather than moving towards it I was moving away from it, but at the same time I was drawing to it... if that makes any sense? Like something inside me was fighting against it. I was at the stage where I was becoming quite set in what I believed, no God, only nature and only survival of the fittest. I guess that's why my self confidence was so low, I didn't see myself as very "fit". Then about a year or so ago I joined an internet community that was generally about spirituality but it was quite corrupt too. Why? I was desperate. I felt like I was going mad. I needed guidance and I wasn't finding any anywhere. Little voices in my head told me that this CANNOT be all there is to reality. It just COULDN'T BE. I started to remember my childhood again and how I felt and little things were clicking into place. I quit the forum because it was really dodgy and there was some really dark stuff on it, but it gave me an initial boost. It made me feel more receptive to what my best friend said, I began to feel there really was something special to this "Islam". Nothing had made any sense in my whole life but Islam... it made sense. And it was something I could wholeheartedly agree with without ifs or buts. Yet still I denied Allah (subhana wa ta'ala, His mercy is limitless)! By this point I was just getting plain foolish about my rejection...

So recently we visited another city. While we were there we stayed in a mostly ethnic minority area, largely of muslims and hindus (I'd still say muslim dominant). It was like being on a whole other planet. We met some very special brothers and sisters there. They changed my outlook forever. I will never forget the generosity and kindness that these people had for complete strangers such as ourselves! Some of them taking us into their home even. I won't forget the sheer amount of faith that seemed to just radiate off of them like a light. I can't really describe it in any words. It makes me cry just to think about it... trying to avoid crying so close to bed time, I have to sleep after typing this. I read a lot of pamphlets, booklets and books on Islam on the train ride and just after getting home.

Needless to say I took my shahada when I got back home. I couldn't live in denial any longer because I felt that the teachings of Islam and the followers of Islam were more real than anything or anyone I had ever come across. The whole thing was perfection to me, and thus could only have been brought down by a perfect being. Who is more perfect than Allah? Nobody.

(yay I didn't cry this time)

**IAmZamzam** · 10-14-2010

Originally Posted by Amoeba

Just reading these increases my... uh... what's that word... means something like faith. But it feels nice.

I believe the word you're trying to think of is "iman".

**Insaanah** · 10-15-2010

Originally Posted by Amoeba

Just reading these increases my... uh... what's that word... means something like faith. But it feels nice.

I do have a revert story but it's not very interesting to an outsider. But I'm going to post it anyway because it helps me:

A little background on me. I was born into an unstable family. They weren't bad people but the relations were frayed. They were loving but very negative most of the time, looking on the cloudier side of life, glass was always half empty to them, that kind of thing. My parents were teenagers and split up when I was three. Mum worked a lot after we moved out of my grandparents' house. Being unable to see my dad I can remember broke my heart, I wailed and sobbed for a long time for him. But I was that quiet, non-aggressive type who eventually just gave in to whatever happened, I developed coping mechanisms such as immersion in fantasy, drawing animals, masturbation (yes, as early as five years old) and talking to myself a lot. I was also a very sensitive child in a rough neighbourhood and didn't make any real friends. I also love(d) animals and cried when someone squished a bug.

I never at any point had any concept of God until primary school when a very vague version of Christianity was forced upon is. We were expected to pray and sing hymns. I did it, but my heart wasn't into it. I couldn't grasp what or who this "God" was so I just decided it was another fantasy, one I didn't take any notion to. At that age dragons and dinosaurs were far more interesting to me. That and drawing. By this stage drawing animals was the only real skill I had and it's one I totally focused all my attention on. Fictional worlds were my home, I didn't live in the real world.

Teenage years were more troublesome. Over my early school years I had developed behavioural problems and couldn't adjust to socialising with children my own age. I just did and said a lot of strange things, things that seemed strange to everyone else but perfectly normal to me. So when I entered high school I was in for a wee bit of a shock. Needless to say, in a western public school in a low-income area in a school that's renowned for being really bad, I did not have friends. I could have had friends if I had adjusted, but I couldn't adjust no matter how hard I tried. I was too sensitive and unwilling to hurt people, and in that school being a jerk was the only way to score friends. So I started just being scary. I decided if I wasn't going to have friends I at least wanted to prevent people from picking on me. So I started dressing scary and acting scary and I became very much a typical teenage brat. I liked baggy jeans and baggy tops and lots and lots of baggy things. People steered away from me in the corridors, but I still got picked on. I tried putting on this tough-guy(girl) façade but it didn't work too well. Still, I had a lot of dark twisted thoughts and said some really frightening things that still scare me to this day. I cursed God a lot, I cursed life, I cursed everything good. I was so, so ungrateful. And at the same time still very much (or even more so) out of touch with reality as I was before entering school.

I was very angry at the western system because I couldn't accept that it was the be-all and end-all of life like I was taught it was. My family were a very typical atheist western family and I hated the fact that I just didn't fit in. I had a lot of moral values back then that I didn't share with my family. I frequently judged them (I know I shouldn't have) by what they watched on TV, the way they talked to one another and the way they were much like big children that never grew up (I still think this in some ways, but a lot has changed and they're different now). Same goes for the teachers. I couldn't put my finger on what was wrong with the system, it just was wrong to me. It lacked morals, lacked humanity, lacked something that felt real. So, as ever, I was further immersed in fantasy but for the first time I was beginning to want to see beyond fantasy and see the reality. I became angry and frustrated that I couldn't see the reality because I didn't know where to look.

There was this one friend I had that didn't abandon me even though my other so-called friends did. After high school we stayed in touch and became the closest friends. What drew me to this person was that he was patient and kind, didn't judge me, gentle, and seemed to think on a much deeper level than most of the other kids. I was much like that too, thinking on much deeper levels and always wondering how others could get on with their lives without touching upon these depths, the tough questions nobody wants to ask. Yeah, that's right, I was a pseudo-philosophical pot-smoking brat after high school, lol. Though, like my friend, I would rather agonize over questions regarding life and reality than sleep easy. That's just the way my brain worked. I guess I kind of knew I was missing something important and there was this urgency to find it...

I was still pretty messed up. I think probably because I was still very socially immature despite my age! I was like an eight-year-old trapped in a seventeen-year-old's body, except I felt I had destroyed my own innocence with drugs and sex and alcohol. So immature, so ungrateful, and so naive.

After getting my thoughts together I decided to follow my friend and explore college courses and try and "make something of myself" as the saying goes. Despite my failure in high school I was still orientated for academia and (not to brag) quite intelligent, teachers had always said how intelligent I was, even ones who hated my guts. So I felt it was my only option. By this point I was still drawing lots and lots but figured "what good am I going to do for the world by drawing animals?" (yeah I was ambitious), and felt going back to school was my only real option. Then my friend told me he was a muslim. I didn't really care to be honest, he was still my best friend, but I really, really didn't care. So I was just like "... okay. So?" He was just relieved that I didn't take it badly so it was all good.

Over time Islam became a topic of conversation with increasing frequency. But rather than moving towards it I was moving away from it, but at the same time I was drawing to it... if that makes any sense? Like something inside me was fighting against it. I was at the stage where I was becoming quite set in what I believed, no God, only nature and only survival of the fittest. I guess that's why my self confidence was so low, I didn't see myself as very "fit". Then about a year or so ago I joined an internet community that was generally about spirituality but it was quite corrupt too. Why? I was desperate. I felt like I was going mad. I needed guidance and I wasn't finding any anywhere. Little voices in my head told me that this CANNOT be all there is to reality. It just COULDN'T BE. I started to remember my childhood again and how I felt and little things were clicking into place. I quit the forum because it was really dodgy and there was some really dark stuff on it, but it gave me an initial boost. It made me feel more receptive to what my best friend said, I began to feel there really was something special to this "Islam". Nothing had made any sense in my whole life but Islam... it made sense. And it was something I could wholeheartedly agree with without ifs or buts. Yet still I denied Allah (subhana wa ta'ala, His mercy is limitless)! By this point I was just getting plain foolish about my rejection...

So recently we visited another city. While we were there we stayed in a mostly ethnic minority area, largely of muslims and hindus (I'd still say muslim dominant). It was like being on a whole other planet. We met some very special brothers and sisters there. They changed my outlook forever. I will never forget the generosity and kindness that these people had for complete strangers such as ourselves! Some of them taking us into their home even. I won't forget the sheer amount of faith that seemed to just radiate off of them like a light. I can't really describe it in any words. It makes me cry just to think about it... trying to avoid crying so close to bed time, I have to sleep after typing this. I read a lot of pamphlets, booklets and books on Islam on the train ride and just after getting home.

Needless to say I took my shahada when I got back home. I couldn't live in denial any longer because I felt that the teachings of Islam and the followers of Islam were more real than anything or anyone I had ever come across. The whole thing was perfection to me, and thus could only have been brought down by a perfect being. Who is more perfect than Allah? Nobody.

(yay I didn't cry this time)

Assalaamu alaikum,

Thank you for sharing your story with us, sister Amoeba.

And all praise be to Allah who guided you to Islam.

**Muslim Woman** · 10-17-2010

Salaam

The first Convert Woman to Make Hajj

February 28, 2010 at 8:39 pm by Hadeer Nagah

From Mayfair to Mecca, the Life of Lady Evelyn Cobbold.

I found the book in a station of King Abd Al Aziz library at Riyadh airport. My whole trip to participate in the second annual conference of the Saudi Association of Languages and Translation was fantastic, yet finding this book made it exceptionally joyful.

I saw the elegant stands that are full with newly published books , translated and originals in different languages, targeting different groups of readers, they can be borrowed to kill the long hours of waiting at the airport. It is an interesting initiative to promote reading at all ages. I wasn’t really in the mood of reading after a three days conference of academic papers and presentations, but this book in particular caught my eyes and it turned out to be one of my dream books.

Lady Evelyn Cobbold Pilgrimage to Mecca, for some time I was looking for a travel book by a woman that records her observations from Western eyes about Islamic culture and countries, I finally found it, unexpectedly. I spoke with the person in charge explaining to him how important the book to my researches about the intersection between Islam and the West and he gave it to me as a gift from the library with my promises to keep him in my prayers at Al Haram ( the holy mosque at Al Medina), ( al Medina has its charm even on Saudis). It was only a few days before my birthday so I considered it one of my most precious birthday gifts.

The book is a history treasure, it is an autobiography and a collection of letters and photos of Lady Evelyn Cobbold who was a world traveler and who performed Hajj as a British convert 1933. It is not only a republication of her original Pilgrimage to Mecca 1934,as a substantial biographical introduction, notes and a map were added in this publication.

It was her childhood winters spent in North Africa and a chance meeting with the Pope that led her to declare that she had always been ” unconsciously Moslem at heart”, and that Islam is the religion of ” common sense”. Her determination to draw her faith on her own terms that drew her to the holy cities of Mecca and Al Medina. The quote at the back cover of the book impressed me, especially the fact that believing in Islam comes naturally to people:

” I am often asked when and why I became a Moslem. I can only reply that I do not know a precise moment when the truth of Islam dawned on me. It seems that I have always been a Moslem . This is not so strange when one remembers that Islam is the natural religion that a child left to itself would develop. Indeed , as a Western critic once described it , ” Islam is the religion of common sense”.
Besides the significant importance her trip to Mecca and Medina, as the first to be recorded by a woman, lady Cobbold accomplished a remarkable collection of “firsts”:

- The first British woman on record having performed Hajj
- The first foreign pilgrim to make pilgrimage by car.
- The first person to report the new pilgrimage buses on 1933.
- The first to report a trip by a car between Mina and Arafat.
- She enjoyed the reputation as the first- class angler, rifle shot and deerstalker
- The first British woman to shoot a 14-point stag.
- She also claimed to be the first woman to travel by air to Africa, on a flying boat in 1935.
Wow, impressive record, I only read through the first chapter during my stay and the airport and the flight, I can’t wait to finish the whole book and know her impression about Saudi and Muslim women in general, hope my teaching load allows enough time for this.

More to come about this interesting story!

p://blog.timesunion.com/muslimwomen/the-first-convert-woman-to-make-hajj/840/

**Muslim Woman** · 10-25-2010

Blair's sister-in-law converts to Islam

The Guardian

By Tom Peck

Monday, 25 October 2010

Lauren Booth said she converted to Islam during a visit to a shrine in Qom, Iran

Tony Blair's sister-in-law, Lauren Booth, has become the latest in a long line of Western Islamic converts. From Chris Eubank to Jermaine Jackson to Alexander Litvinenko, she joins an eclectic list, yet she is markedly different from most of its names, for one key reason – she is female.

Ms Booth, who works for the Iranian state news channel Press TV, said she decided to become a Muslim after being overwhelmed during a visit to a shrine in the city of Qom, Iran.
"I felt this shot of spiritual morphine: just absolute bliss and joy," she said. When she returned to Britain six weeks ago, she decided to convert. "Now I don't eat pork, and read the Koran every day," she said.
She is now on page 60. Though women in the public eye are generally not shy of a religious conversion (Demi Moore, Kabbalah; Tina Turner, Buddhism), Islam is rarely their go-to faith. For Catherine Heseltine, CEO of MPACUK which was set up to address a perceived under-representation of Muslims in British politics, and herself a convert, this is not hugely surprising.
She said: "Islam requires women to cover their hair and hide the shape of the body. If you think of the areas where women typically achieve a high profile – singing, acting, modelling – these things tend not to be compatible with these requirements.
"Converting to Islam is a different proposition for women than from men. They are instantly asked: 'Why do you want to be oppressed?' There have been problems in the Muslim community with sexism, but these are attributable to culture, rather than religion itself and the two have become very mixed-up in the public's perception."
But the shortage of Islamic women converts in the public eye in fact conceals a trend in the public at large that is in the very opposite. Sheikh Imam Ibrahim Mogra from Leicester said: "I receive many more inquiries from women. It is quite surprising, given the negative publicity in terms of the mistreatment of women. But women say it was all the negative things that first stimulated their interest."
Though the group she joins as woman convert is small, it is a vocal one. Ms Booth's colleague at Press TV, former war correspondent Yvonne Ridley, converted to Islam in 2003 after being captured by the Taliban in Afghanistan.

There is of course one challenging liturgical requirement. Ms Booth said: "I haven't had a drink in 45 days," she said. "And I was someone who craved a glass of wine or two."

**S.Belle** · 10-25-2010

My conversion to Islam

A lot of people have asked me how I became Muslim and they expect and very long, spirtual, and emotional story about how I found the truth. But my "story" is rather simple.

I grew up a minister's daugther but was never really into the church to be quite honest I absolutely hated going to church and thought the whole Trinity thing was a scam. And that the members of the church were not worshipping God but rather the pastor. Its like when ever a problem came up it was always oh i have to go tell this to the paster or oh i have to ask the pastor for help. This made no sense to me because if God is so powerful why must I go thru the pastor/or even church to have my prayers answered.

So I basically was always physically in church but never mentally there. I felt this way all the way up until my teens years and I finally started to verbally express my desire not to go to church and how I thought Christianity made no sense at all. I started asking my mom questions about the bible that did not make sense and she could not give me an answer to all the questions I had. My mom then went to the pastor and asked him the same questions that I did and he could not give her an answer and told her somethings are just meant to not be understood. My mom like me did not like the answers we were getting so she quit her job as minister and started to do some research on the Bible and other religions. During this time my mom got married and he ( my step dad) started telling her about Islam and after looking into it she converted. She never told me about her conversion to another religion but I knew something was up because all the bacon and pork in the house disappeared and she just had a different demeanor about her. So one day I go to her and say why are you acting so weird. Is there something I should know?

Thats when she told me about Islam and how peaceful it was and how it answers any question you have and more. Her and my step dad told me more about Islam but my mom wanted me to be absolutely sure that I was ready to convert because it was no going back to disbelief after accepting Islam. She then told me about a girl at my school and how here family was muslim. I was shocked mostly because she did not wear hijab and I never would have thought that there were any muslims were we lived ( i lived in a very racist small town at the time that is mainly the reason behind her not wearing hijab it was just too dangerous). So the next day at school I went up to her and asked her did she belive in Allah (swt) and she looked at me so shocked and nervously said yes. Then I told her cool could you teach me about Islam and since then every day at lunch she would teach me. It was in the middle of ramadan at the time and she explained to me why muslims fast and about the Prophet (pbuh).
We became attached at the hip and within the end of the week I became muslim. I would say she helped me to understand Islam more (i know my parents were telling me about it but its just so different when your are 13 and a peer tells you about it).

And now when I go to masjid LOVE it i fell so spiritually connected with God and its just so peaceful and nothing like how i felt when I was Christain.