Marry a muslim? heck no!!!!

**Belief_is_Power** · 12-13-2007

Salam alaikum brothers and sisters

As many of you know I am a muslim convert. I have a good job, good place to live and good deen. However when it comes to marriage, I dont want to marry a muslim. yes thats right!! But why you ask? Because in the Ummah their is to much racism and you have to be a rich person to get married. Let me explain.......................... before you jump on my back.

I went to this brother and asked him that I was interested in his daughter. I had just graduated from college, had and still have a good job. however this brother said NO! I asked him why and he said that I was not arab and that I did not fit the qualtfications for his daughter. you have to make $100,000 a year he said, and that I was not Egyptian.

Well I thanked him and went off on my way. I tried about 9 other brothers and the answer was the same. No no no no no!!! you are not arab, pakistani, Indian etc, and you do not make $80,000 and up.So thats it I have had enough, forget marrying a muslim!!!!!! To much racism and high expictations. I make a good living to provide for a family, but because of my race I was denied by "so called muslims". And this is the view of the majority of muslims around the world unfortunatly.

I have decided to look for a Christian or a Jew to marry. It is not forbidden for me, and the intermarriage racism that once existed in the christian/jewish majority is now almost gone. not totally, but better then 40 years ago.

Todays muslims are more worried about preseving their racial blood or nationality, then letting a good muslim marry his/her daughter. This disgusts me, but it is the truth....... please post your views and anything else that you want to share.

**sadia faisal** · 12-14-2007

Great advice evryone...
Don't worry, you will find a good Muslim wife, just have faith in Alllah that it will happen when it was meant to happen (i'm not saying u dont try, lol)

I am in the same situation as you but on the other side of the spectrum. I want to marry this great Muslim (i was gna say brother eww! lol) Great deen and Iman, has helped me many times and has helped me to become a better Muslim too. The only problem is that...he is a bengali and i am a pakistani.

This is not a problem in our eyes, but my vain and prideful brothers eyes. He has completely abandoned the Shariah and is "taking his own approach" ...the pakistani approach obviously... But no matter what happens i am NEVER giving up!! This is just too great a thing to let go of...and over what...what people might say or think!! For someones haram pride!!

Sorry, i'lll stop here, lol, i was going to start my own thread on this situation... dont get time though.

So...don't worry bro u will find the right person Insha-Allah...

**AhlaamBella** · 12-14-2007

Originally Posted by Salam4life

Great advice evryone...
Don't worry, you will find a good Muslim wife, just have faith in Alllah that it will happen when it was meant to happen (i'm not saying u dont try, lol)

I am in the same situation as you but on the other side of the spectrum. I want to marry this great Muslim (i was gna say brother eww! lol) Great deen and Iman, has helped me many times and has helped me to become a better Muslim too. The only problem is that...he is a bengali and i am a pakistani.

This is not a problem in our eyes, but my vain and prideful brothers eyes. He has completely abandoned the Shariah and is "taking his own approach" ...the pakistani approach obviously... But no matter what happens i am NEVER giving up!! This is just too great a thing to let go of...and over what...what people might say or think!! For someones haram pride!!

Sorry, i'lll stop here, lol, i was going to start my own thread on this situation... dont get time though.

So...don't worry bro u will find the right person Insha-Allah...

Sis relax

. InshAllah your bro will realise he is in the wrong........ InshAllah. But as I've said before. Talk. To. Your. Dad. Your bro shouldn't be the one running the household

**sadia faisal** · 12-14-2007

He will not realise it, trust me, do u think we havent tried...

And its not that simple telling my dad anymore, my brother has threatened to kill him and me if we take such a step (he myt take this to the poilce, cos it is becoming more serious...) And i dont know how my dad wud react, he may kill me himself. So we have to take things slightly slowly...

**Qurratul Ayn** · 12-14-2007

Originally Posted by Belief_is_Power

Todays muslims are more worried about preseving their racial blood or nationality, then letting a good muslim marry his/her daughter.

Unfortunately, that is so true, but it does not occur to all Muslims as my cousin she married a Black Revert Muslim and I was so pleased for her!!! But her Father wasn't but his daughter is happy and he is finally accepting it.

Many Muslims choose reputation over religion and the "disgust" that marriage outside of culture may occur. This gets me so angry!!! :enough!:

I say you should keep looking but if you can't find any Parent or Brother who would let you marry their daughter then marry a Christian or Jew as it is allowed for Muslim men. However, why not look for a revert Muslim Sister? They may be likely to accept your proposal.

Just make Du'a and Insha'Allaah Ta'ala, everything will be alright.

**Qurratul Ayn** · 12-14-2007

Originally Posted by Belief_is_Power

If Islam is true and Allah is our creator then all I need is a little praying. salam.

Originally Posted by NoName55

if? nazobillah! therein lies the rub! uncertainty about one's faith is the the obstacle to one's confidence and many if not all fathers will see it.

It's true what Brother NoName55 has written, Brother Belief_is_Power, DO NOT DOUBT ISLAM IS TRUE AND ALLAAH TA'ALA IS THE CREATOR BELIEVE IT as you did revert to Islam on the basis of this belief and the Shahadah (read my signature)

& always pray on time and make Du'a to The Almighty.

**IbnAbdulHakim** · 12-14-2007

if you dont marry a muslimah you'll be losing out on something amazing, so have patience and keep looking.

Assalamu Alaikum

**------** · 12-14-2007

So you would rather marry someone who will not be with you in the Hereafter if (Inshaa Allaah) you go to Jannah?

**genki** · 12-14-2007

Pride, arrogance, superiority complex, selfishness, ignorance exist within all cultures boundaries and religions brother

I gaurantee you if you go to for example Saudi Arabia you will meet many families that will outright reject you based on the color of your skin and that your an American or other stupid reasons. These will be the same muslim families youll see at the mosque
.
But amongst them youll find shining beacons of Islam that would open their arms and their hearts to you so long as your iman and your deen is high. I have had the pleasure of knowing such people and usually youll find they are truly pious men with fear of allah stamped in their hearts and the message of the prophet carried within them. To them faith iman deen is all that matters.

Be patient brother and you will inshallah find the right one. And really try and avoid Christian or jewish wife, youd like to have a new life with hope and happiness and someone who can support and push you in your faith not someone whom youll have strife and hardships and may tempt you into other things.

**crayon** · 12-14-2007

Originally Posted by Muj4h1d4

So you would rather marry someone who will not be with you in the Hereafter if (Inshaa Allaah) you go to Jannah?

I've never thought of it that way, actually.
And it makes a LOT of sense.

**------** · 12-14-2007

^^^ Lol once a while the brain works

**Belief_is_Power** · 12-14-2007

I have no doubts about Islam or Allah being our creator, let me assure all of you. I guess I was to quick to rule out marriage to a muslim. I will rethink my choice, thanks to all your posts. I am still young and I do want my future wife to be with me in Jannah.

**UmmSqueakster** · 12-14-2007

There are plenty of single american sisters out there, especially in the african american community. In fact, the recent rumblings in the muslim blogosphere is about how african american brothers are going over to morocco to marry, leaving all the sisters with no one.

Also, have you looked on any marriage sites? I know there are usually more brothers on there than sisters, but many of the brothers are oversees, and many american sisters won't marry anyone if it means sponsoring them for a green card. So, you would look a lot more appealing than a lot of the guys on there.

**------** · 12-14-2007

I am still young and I do want my future wife to be with me in Jannah.

Then she has to be a Muslim.

**tigersabre** · 12-14-2007

Originally Posted by Belief_is_Power

Salam alaikum brothers and sisters

As many of you know I am a muslim convert. I have a good job, good place to live and good deen. However when it comes to marriage, I dont want to marry a muslim. yes thats right!! But why you ask? Because in the Ummah their is to much racism and you have to be a rich person to get married. Let me explain.......................... before you jump on my back.

I went to this brother and asked him that I was interested in his daughter. I had just graduated from college, had and still have a good job. however this brother said NO! I asked him why and he said that I was not arab and that I did not fit the qualtfications for his daughter. you have to make $100,000 a year he said, and that I was not Egyptian.

Well I thanked him and went off on my way. I tried about 9 other brothers and the answer was the same. No no no no no!!! you are not arab, pakistani, Indian etc, and you do not make $80,000 and up.So thats it I have had enough, forget marrying a muslim!!!!!! To much racism and high expictations. I make a good living to provide for a family, but because of my race I was denied by "so called muslims". And this is the view of the majority of muslims around the world unfortunatly.

I have decided to look for a Christian or a Jew to marry. It is not forbidden for me, and the intermarriage racism that once existed in the christian/jewish majority is now almost gone. not totally, but better then 40 years ago.

Todays muslims are more worried about preseving their racial blood or nationality, then letting a good muslim marry his/her daughter. This disgusts me, but it is the truth....... please post your views and anything else that you want to share.

Yup, Muslims are racist. Well, mostly immigrant parents. I'm desi, I married a caucasion revert - you probably want to check out a matrimonial site which will have many different varieties of sisters from North America who will be more amenable to marrying someone North American.

But, hey, if you want to go with a Christian or Jew, just remember the requirement - must be chaste

**00:00** · 12-14-2007

I tried about 9 other brothers and the answer was the same. No no no no no!!! you are not arab, pakistani, Indian etc, and you do not make $80,000 and up.So thats it I have had enough, forget marrying a muslim!!!!!! To much racism and high expictations. I make a good living to provide for a family, but because of my race I was denied by "so called muslims". And this is the view of the majority of muslims around the world unfortunatly.

yo thats messed up man, sorry to had to go through that bro it's one of the reason y Muslims in this mess we in, keep lookin though man. Inshallah.

how can you come to this conclusion after only going to 9 people, saying that this is the opinion of majority of muslims aint right, not all muslims will agree with this. It's only the ignorant ones who have little or no knowledge of islam.

**Belief_is_Power** · 12-14-2007

Inshallah everything will work out.....

**------** · 12-14-2007

Inshaa Allaah.... Ameen!

**Bittersteel** · 12-15-2007

Salam alaikum brothers and sisters

As many of you know I am a muslim convert. I have a good job, good place to live and good deen. However when it comes to marriage, I dont want to marry a muslim. yes thats right!! But why you ask? Because in the Ummah their is to much racism and you have to be a rich person to get married. Let me explain.......................... before you jump on my back.

I went to this brother and asked him that I was interested in his daughter. I had just graduated from college, had and still have a good job. however this brother said NO! I asked him why and he said that I was not arab and that I did not fit the qualtfications for his daughter. you have to make $100,000 a year he said, and that I was not Egyptian.

Well I thanked him and went off on my way. I tried about 9 other brothers and the answer was the same. No no no no no!!! you are not arab, pakistani, Indian etc, and you do not make $80,000 and up.So thats it I have had enough, forget marrying a muslim!!!!!! To much racism and high expictations. I make a good living to provide for a family, but because of my race I was denied by "so called muslims". And this is the view of the majority of muslims around the world unfortunatly.

I have decided to look for a Christian or a Jew to marry. It is not forbidden for me, and the intermarriage racism that once existed in the christian/jewish majority is now almost gone. not totally, but better then 40 years ago.

Todays muslims are more worried about preseving their racial blood or nationality, then letting a good muslim marry his/her daughter. This disgusts me, but it is the truth....... please post your views and anything else that you want to share.

can't blame you.you are the not the only one though there are both Muslim men and women marrying NMs due to such reasons.

**Skillganon** · 12-19-2007

Originally Posted by Belief_is_Power

Salam alaikum brothers and sisters

As many of you know I am a muslim convert. I have a good job, good place to live and good deen. However when it comes to marriage, I dont want to marry a muslim. yes thats right!! But why you ask? Because in the Ummah their is to much racism and you have to be a rich person to get married. Let me explain.......................... before you jump on my back.

I went to this brother and asked him that I was interested in his daughter. I had just graduated from college, had and still have a good job. however this brother said NO! I asked him why and he said that I was not arab and that I did not fit the qualtfications for his daughter. you have to make $100,000 a year he said, and that I was not Egyptian.

Well I thanked him and went off on my way. I tried about 9 other brothers and the answer was the same. No no no no no!!! you are not arab, pakistani, Indian etc, and you do not make $80,000 and up.So thats it I have had enough, forget marrying a muslim!!!!!! To much racism and high expictations. I make a good living to provide for a family, but because of my race I was denied by "so called muslims". And this is the view of the majority of muslims around the world unfortunatly.

I have decided to look for a Christian or a Jew to marry. It is not forbidden for me, and the intermarriage racism that once existed in the christian/jewish majority is now almost gone. not totally, but better then 40 years ago.

Todays muslims are more worried about preseving their racial blood or nationality, then letting a good muslim marry his/her daughter. This disgusts me, but it is the truth....... please post your views and anything else that you want to share.

Salaam.

Yes you get those, but to be honest you really don't wan't such a father in law. You know what, if I was in your position and I approached the same people I would probably get the same response 99%, and I am born into a muslim family (not an arab).

Usually their is a big educational (islamic) and/or religiousity gap between older generation and the newer, especially those that are immigrants as ooposed to those who are brought up here.
I know this may not be always the reason they are like that but usually I find people who are more educated in Islam and are religious does not posses such issues.
You don' really have to be a revert to face those problem, usually those who are born in muslim family sometime face these problems.
We just been more attuned to it and have good eye for how and where to approach for marriages.
It may take time to find someone, but saying I don't wan't to marry a muslim does not help. Inshallah you woul find someone.

Edited: (Addition in red)

**morate** · 12-28-2007

Originally Posted by Malaikah

I pray Allah allows you to find a good Muslim wife with an accepting family soon, ameen.

Insh'Allah, I pray for you too. Don't limit yourself, I would say. When I met my husband, a black African muslim, I was none of those things. Now, I have accepted Islam, I hold Africa in my heart and as for the color thing, well, He made us many nations and hues and gave us many tongues, that we may each find the right path.