As many of you know I am a muslim convert. I have a good job, good place to live and good deen. However when it comes to marriage, I dont want to marry a muslim. yes thats right!! But why you ask? Because in the Ummah their is to much racism and you have to be a rich person to get married. Let me explain.......................... before you jump on my back.
I went to this brother and asked him that I was interested in his daughter. I had just graduated from college, had and still have a good job. however this brother said NO! I asked him why and he said that I was not arab and that I did not fit the qualtfications for his daughter. you have to make $100,000 a year he said, and that I was not Egyptian.
Well I thanked him and went off on my way. I tried about 9 other brothers and the answer was the same. No no no no no!!! you are not arab, pakistani, Indian etc, and you do not make $80,000 and up.So thats it I have had enough, forget marrying a muslim!!!!!! To much racism and high expictations. I make a good living to provide for a family, but because of my race I was denied by "so called muslims". And this is the view of the majority of muslims around the world unfortunatly.
I have decided to look for a Christian or a Jew to marry. It is not forbidden for me, and the intermarriage racism that once existed in the christian/jewish majority is now almost gone. not totally, but better then 40 years ago.
Todays muslims are more worried about preseving their racial blood or nationality, then letting a good muslim marry his/her daughter. This disgusts me, but it is the truth....... please post your views and anything else that you want to share.
go and try a muslim wife outside the USA....there are tons of Muslim women in the mid-east who are eagerly awaiting for a husband.
Some brothers are afraid that sisters from abroad have hidden motives (ie. They're only marrying for a passport), but khayr inshaa Allaah. Just make du'a.
^ yep...alot of the arabians want people to marry there daughter if they arabian then they want tons of cash like they sellin them lol and some people think the dude want the girl cuz the citizenship..
Always to remember that Allah Ta'ala always there for you if you need any help.
"If Allah helps you none can overcome you, and if He forsakes you, who is there, after Him, that can help you. And in Allah (alone) let believers put their trust." (Qur'an, 3:160)
"And whosoever fears Allah and keeps his duty to Him. He will make a way for him to get out (from) every (difficulty), and He will provide him from (sources) he could never imagine." (Qur'an, 65:2-3)
Keep to praying and remember of Allah. Then, Insha'Allah, He will help you to sorting out to solve the problems.
salam brother
i understand how u feel
dat SOME muslims are VERY sucked in dis world
and a very picky about wat kind of man they would want
for their daughter. but u ahve to understand that u
ahvent met every muslim in da world, so u have dont have right to
judge ALL muslims and paint everyone with da same brush. dat is wrong.
only Allah is da judge and if someone done u wrong, den u should forgive them
and let Allah deal with them instead of becoming bitter toward all muslims.
how can u say all muslims are rasict, if u dont want to marry a muslim,
then dat is up to u but dont insult other muslims. btw it is haram
marrying a non-muslim.
I had the same problem. However, it got solved.
Bro you need to travel if you want to marry a Muslim lady. I would suggest looking for a lady that is from Indonesia, a divorced lady, widowed, grew up a orphan.
Parents are a problem at times. They tend to only look for doctors and dentists for their daughters. Thats for sure. Even if you became the imam of masjid al aqsa the people you have been dealing with wouldnt accept you.
Forget them bro. You have been protected from anything superficial. I would advise marrying a Christian or a Jew as i know a brother that was married to one for years and she has only recently converted.
Watch out for the danger of hating the Prophets saws ummah though. That was a illness that crept into my heart. I still wanted to be Muslim but i ended up hating the Muslims, and i still do now to an extent. Its a problem i am trying to deal with. I do not say Salam to them anymore man, jut ignore them and go about my business. And i know thats wrong.
I even have Muslims that have trashed me on this forum man. But there arte many beautiful people here too. Look for the beauty in the ugliness and you will find it.
I wouldnt advice attempting to look for a Pakistani or Indian Muslimah, too many problems there with the culture that will hurt you. They are too stuck up and gems amongst them are very rare BUT DO EXSIST.
I would try Malaysia, Indoneisa, and Somali and even Bangledesh communities.
insha'Allah wish you well
may Allah help you where the Muslims couldnt give a brass monkey about you... trust me i have been there ... You do not need the Muslims .... the reason why we converted to Islam was to worship Allah. Do not worry about makluwq . One important thing though. Learn aqeedah, because you would be supprised how much this will help you in finding a wife. trust me
Like many others have done, I too would advice you to keep on looking [and praying] and inshAllah Allah would match you up with a nice Muslimah soon.
Marrying a jew or a Christian in a non-Muslim country comes with big risks these days brother, for what if they decide to turn the kids into kaafirs?
But ofcourse, if Muslimahs are not available, then you can marry a jew or christian if you want.
In Islam, it is encouraged to find compatiable spouses for one's children, thus the insistence of some muslims to marry their sons/daughters into their own nationalites and cultures are for reasons of compatiability and not racism, but Muslims are also encouraged to help converts as well so keep looking brother and inshAllah you will find that Muslimah soon.
I sincerely do feel for you as a convert. I have witnessed the racism faced by converts from born Muslims, who should be setting a good example for new Muslims. I have witnessed on numerous counts what happens to converts when they approach Muslim families. I personally would advise you to marry another convert. Inshallah Allah will bless the both of you in paradise and on earth with wonder, islamic and pious children. As a Somali, my people have pushed away white converts wanting to marrying our girls because of the converts skin colour, financial stability and not having a tribe. For some Africans, tribes are important. Without sounding too racist myself, I personally would never marry outside my race only because I wouldn't feel comfortable in living with that person. Matter of fact, I don't think I could fall in love with someone who is not a Somali. Having said that, I have seen Somali women married to converts, manshallah they are happy and have beautiful, religious children and most of all there is love between the husband and wife.
Brother, you don't need to look outside the religion to find a wife. Open your eyes, be patient, make dua and inshallah Allah will grant you a beautiful Muslimah.
Check with your local imaam, they would be able to tell you who is open minded and who is not and also suggest some suitable person in the community. I"ve seen plenty of interracial marriages i my community. It helps when community is educated and also having a well diverse community.
Whats the deal in the Pakistani community with this idea of a gori trophy?
Why not a gora trophy for the women of their family?
desi in uk are mostly culuturally based folks. Then again most cultural men and women of east, desi or arab, chase after white color. It' can't be a gora trophy cuz then that would become a paki trophy if a gora takes her.
bro , as you have a right to give proposal , other party has the same right , too. They can say No & this must not be taken personally ...I mean ...one must not get angry.
A woman may face problem in her married life . At that time , support is needed from her parents/ relatives/ friends.
If her husband is from another country , chances are high that in future they will move to his country & there she will face several problems in a new atmosphere & will feel helpless as she does not have any friend / relative there.
So , it's quite natural that parents may object to arrange marriage for their daugther with a person with different nationality/ culture. May be , it's not racism but a pre-caution for daughter's secured life
Christ will never be proud to reject to be a slave to God .....holy Quran, chapter Women , 4: 172
I am glad this thread was brought up. Yes, there is much racism in the ummah, and Arabs seem to excel in that regard, due to their superiority complex they have over everybody--Indians, Pakistanis, Iranians, Benglis, Blacks, etc..
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