Marry a muslim? heck no!!!!

format_quote Originally Posted by Belief_is_Power

Salam alaikum brothers and sisters

As many of you know I am a muslim convert. I have a good job, good place to live and good deen. However when it comes to marriage, I dont want to marry a muslim. yes thats right!! But why you ask? Because in the Ummah their is to much racism and you have to be a rich person to get married. Let me explain.......................... before you jump on my back.

I went to this brother and asked him that I was interested in his daughter. I had just graduated from college, had and still have a good job. however this brother said NO! I asked him why and he said that I was not arab and that I did not fit the qualtfications for his daughter. you have to make $100,000 a year he said, and that I was not Egyptian.

Well I thanked him and went off on my way. I tried about 9 other brothers and the answer was the same. No no no no no!!! you are not arab, pakistani, Indian etc, and you do not make $80,000 and up.So thats it I have had enough, forget marrying a muslim!!!!!! To much racism and high expictations. I make a good living to provide for a family, but because of my race I was denied by "so called muslims". And this is the view of the majority of muslims around the world unfortunatly.

I have decided to look for a Christian or a Jew to marry. It is not forbidden for me, and the intermarriage racism that once existed in the christian/jewish majority is now almost gone. not totally, but better then 40 years ago.

Todays muslims are more worried about preseving their racial blood or nationality, then letting a good muslim marry his/her daughter. This disgusts me, but it is the truth....... please post your views and anything else that you want to share.

I found Little Mosque on the prairie to be more accurate and positive representation of Islam and more believable than this thread/post/forum etc

highly educated Muslim, Yeah right! and I am next President of USA.

marriages work better when these take place between people of similar status, backgrounds and culture or most of them turn in to a disaster (none of us are divinely guided or all perfect beings) partners from differing backgrounds and cultures would forever be trying to change the other, instead of bliss you end up with a hellish battlefield.

Belief_is_Power
I'm really shocked by your input. I dont know how come you meet so many people and they all turn out to be so materialistic!! Yes may be some Muslims in the Gulf region may be materialistic and dont like to marry their daughters to prople from other countries than their country even if rich and Arab and of course muslims.

However, you can find the majority of muslims in other countries dont have this view. I'm really shocked and feel very very sorry for you and for the whole situation.

I agree with the guy who said in marriage, common backgrounds makes it better.

I have got a good idea, why dont u marry a muslim sister from your country? I think there are many good muslim ladies around. You just need to look around you here and there.

I know it's a very common thing cuz my extended family has the same actions.....my dad is against the whole nationality thing but my mom and her family are like psycho's....they just want me to stick to "their" choice of an afghan....im not sure about the rich part....they dont seem to care about that...as long as he make a living...

format_quote Originally Posted by Belief_is_Power

Salam alaikum brothers and sisters

As many of you know I am a muslim convert. I have a good job, good place to live and good deen. However when it comes to marriage, I dont want to marry a muslim. yes thats right!! But why you ask? Because in the Ummah their is to much racism and you have to be a rich person to get married. Let me explain.......................... before you jump on my back.

I went to this brother and asked him that I was interested in his daughter. I had just graduated from college, had and still have a good job. however this brother said NO! I asked him why and he said that I was not arab and that I did not fit the qualtfications for his daughter. you have to make $100,000 a year he said, and that I was not Egyptian.

Well I thanked him and went off on my way. I tried about 9 other brothers and the answer was the same. No no no no no!!! you are not arab, pakistani, Indian etc, and you do not make $80,000 and up.So thats it I have had enough, forget marrying a muslim!!!!!! To much racism and high expictations. I make a good living to provide for a family, but because of my race I was denied by "so called muslims". And this is the view of the majority of muslims around the world unfortunatly.

I have decided to look for a Christian or a Jew to marry. It is not forbidden for me, and the intermarriage racism that once existed in the christian/jewish majority is now almost gone. not totally, but better then 40 years ago.

Todays muslims are more worried about preseving their racial blood or nationality, then letting a good muslim marry his/her daughter. This disgusts me, but it is the truth....... please post your views and anything else that you want to share.

salam bro,

Ok,I'll admit when I read the beggining of your post I was a bit shocked,but I kind of understand where you're coming from...your point of view comes from experiences..*sighs*,very bad experience.

Im arab myself,let me assure you NOT ALL FAMILY ARE LIKE THIS..my family wouldn't really mind if I married a turk/italian/greek/arab/egyptian/ etc. as long as their religious and that I like them.That's what it should ideally be for anyone who calls himself a muslim,but,as I believe it had been said before

we don't live in a perfect world.

You're going to have to keep on looking,any rejection you receive for an absolutly worthless reason,you need to shrug it off and move on,remember that this isn't your "naseeb" and that when you do find "her",nothing will stop you from marrying her.(Insh'allah).I do hope she's a muslim though,people have been mentioning how difficult it would be marrying someone from a different background(although I disagree with that,I believe it would be more challenging,but also more cultivating and refreshing...anyway,that's another subject)imagine someone from another religion...

Im not saying it wouldn't work out,it might work out perfectly,but then there's the issue of raising the children muslims...and so on.What im getting at is that it would be more "secure" marrying a muslim girl(who has a strong iman).

Wish you the best of luck!

format_quote Originally Posted by Belief_is_Power

I am American, and as you know their are more muslim male converts than sisters. My chances of finding another convert to marry are about the same as me winning $80,000,000 dollars. Same backgrounds put up barriers and make Islam look racist. I guess black people should only marry other black people, same for whites.

actually Akhi, the numbers that i hear are that by 3 to 1 women outnumber men as reverts in the US. don't know the color margin though...

i married a Somali woman and an ENTIRE Masjid of people told her not to marry me! of course it IS a Somali Masjid, but they told my wife things like: a)Americans kill their wives, b) he's a revert so he'll leave the religion c) you won't understand each other because of cultural differences; on the bright side, one person said, "well, as long as he isn't African American, go for it!"

i'm going to go out on a limb a AGREE with you that folks have a poor view of African Americans. however, i don't fault Muslims 100% for that! the best thing that you can do is have Sabr and show yourself to be a better person.

let me ask, do you attend all 5 prayers at the Masjid? do you have a beard and non-western clothes?

Allah, Subhannahu Wa Ta'Aala is testing you. concentrate on your deen and thank Allah, Subhannahu Wa Ta'Aala for the chance to engage in the act of worship known as Sabr!

start shopping at different "Muslim" venues and attend as many lectures as you can in your area. keep an eye on the Brothers at Fajr and Esha as alot fewer hypocrites attend these prayers. meet and greet as many as you can and get to know them, for the sake of Allah, Subhannahu Wa Ta'Aala, NOT for any other reason. Allah, Subhannahu Wa Ta'Aala will take care of the rest.

ALSO, check with your Imam as he may know some sisters looking...

you DO have a few strikes against you, but take it as an honor and show Allah, Subhannahu Wa Ta'Aala that you are grateful for the chance to earn extra rank!

DO NOT marry a Christian or a Jew! there's a catch, catch 22. you really CAN'T marry one! why? because you will have to "get to know" or "hang around" non Muslims in order to get the chance! that is NOT good for your deen!

May Allah, Subhannahu Wa Ta'Aala make it easy on you and may He assist you!

format_quote Originally Posted by Belief_is_Power

I am American, and as you know their are more muslim male converts than sisters. My chances of finding another convert to marry are about the same as me winning $80,000,000 dollars. Same backgrounds put up barriers and make Islam look racist. I guess black people should only marry other black people, same for whites.

Bro, don't give up! There are lots of good Muslim families out there- you just have to look hard.

Even with marriage to Christian/Jewish women, don't think it will be easy because their religion doesn't even let them marry Muslims!

And think about the kids- I've heard of many horrible cases were the marriage ends up in divorce and the kids are raised by the mum as non-Muslim.

Just keep looking, have faith in Allah. Even born Muslims have a hard time finding spouses! I know a female who has been looking years.

I pray Allah allows you to find a good Muslim wife with an accepting family soon, ameen.

you're right some of them are only thinking about worldly things...

But are you sure you are choosing the right muslimah. Seems to me you are approaching only the rich and beautiful muslimah :X.

Try to find someone who is more humble and has the best akhlaaq, InshaAllah....

In Malaysia, most malays don't want the children marry the western people because of their temper and swearing. The malays are not used to that..... Anyhow, there are still alot of malays getting married to the western...and i even found blogs about their live...MashAllah.

May all the muslims marriage are blessed in every way.

I have read that there are 3 things to be noticed upon... and its better if followed..

1.Its good to choose a bride less in status than the bridgroom(economically)
2.Its good to choose a bride who is strong in her faith.. and a good practising muslim.
3.Its good to choose a bride who is beautiful and quite less in height than the bridegroom.

Sorry i dont have the source in web...
I read it in an Tamil islamic book.


So bro ..try accordingly..Insha'allah you will get it.

format_quote Originally Posted by Belief_is_Power

all these post are great!!!! I will just have to pray and be a little more patient. But how can one wait when their are so many fish in the sea,(Christian/jewish world). However all is not lost. If Islam is true and Allah is our creator then all I need is a little praying. salam.

had I regarded women as "fish", who were there to be caught I would be all alone too, instead of having a family numbering around 12+.

until you look for an equal and like minded person, there is not going to be much success.

If Islam is true and Allah is our creator then all I need is a little praying. salam.

if? nauzobillah! therein lies the rub! uncertainty about one's faith is the the obstacle to one's confidence and many if not all fathers will see it.

Yeah my parent's are the same, but not with different races but with my own race. My mother would actually prefer I marry out of my race as weird as it sounds. Regarding your situation, pray salatul istakhara and ask that Allah grant you a pious wife.

format_quote Originally Posted by Abdul-Raouf

I have read that there are 3 things to be noticed upon... and its better if followed..

1.Its good to choose a bride less in status than the bridgroom(economically)
2.Its good to choose a bride who is strong in her faith.. and a good practising muslim.
3.Its good to choose a bride who is beautiful and quite less in height than the bridegroom.

Sorry i dont have the source in web...
I read it in an Tamil islamic book.


So bro ..try accordingly..Insha'allah you will get it.

It's better to choose a bride shorter than you? How come?

As for your situation belief, I agree, it drives me crazy when parents are like this. My parents not only want me to marry a man from my same country, but from my same city. I understand their opinion and where they're coming from, that there will be less culture clash, but still. As long as his deen and manners are good, he's great in my eyes. Unfortunately, my parents disagree. In fact, I'd love to marry a convert, merely because they are muslims for the right reasons. Not to say that born muslims are not (i'm born muslim myself), it's just that I find it easier for born muslims to be less into their deen, and more influenced by their cultures and traditions, so that it takes precedence over their religion, than reverts.