During worship services as my Christian church, I have always felt such a strong urge to bow down to God. Sometimes I do this even though it is very unusual. Sometimes I feel the presence of God so strongly that I have to fall to my knees with my head on the floor and give honor to the Creator of Heaven and Earth -- the God of everything -- the One God -- the Only God. And I sing -- THERE IS NONE LIKE YOU.
In the US, we have been shielded from Islam for many generations. Until now, people like me have grown up all their lives without knowing a THING about Islam other than the lies we are told. But you can't always blame the people who tell the lies because they are only repeating lies that were told to them as truth and they now believe they are telling the truth -- they are only ignorant, not necessarily evil.
Most of us have grown up not knowing anything about Islam, usually not even really knowing the difference between Islam, Muslim, Hindu, Buddist, etc... It's true -- most of us don't know a single thing about any of these other religions other than the fact that they are NOT Christian, which in this culture, pretty much amounts to being evil tools of the devil.
I don't say that to stir up contention -- only to explain.
Most of us learn to fear anything that is different than what we've been taught. We learn that different beliefs are very dangerous and that they will slip into your spirit and take you over and the next thing you know you'll be burning in a devil's hell for being deceived by false religion.
So we are not only shielded form information about non-Christian religions, we are taught to fear the very act of even questioning or investigating other religions. We are taught that to open a sacred text other than the Bible is opening yourself up to infectious ideas that will trap you like drugs and drag you into deception. We are taught that it is only safe to blind yourself from any information about other religions, particularly Islam.
But God will come to those he chooses, regardless of the barriers that ignorant men have built up around them.
I started thinking about Islam from many directions. First, I wondered about the people our government was demonizing and what purpose they had in doing that. Then in reading and researching the Middle East on topics of politics and culture I learned more about Islam.
What is Islam? I wondered. So I looked at some videos and took out a copy of the Qu'ran I had in my library and read some passages in it. I was very surprised to find that Allah was not a false god but that he was the ONE God -- the God of Abraham, Issac, Ishmael, Jacob, Jesus. Then I researched Israel and the history of Zionism.
I began to see that Muslims were the seed of Abraham and that Islam was the only truly mono-theistic religion and that Muslims were a people under attack from all sides.
At the same time, I was full of despair from living in the pornographic West. Even though I seemed alone in my beliefs I was deeply offended by the immodesty of our culture and the behavior of a society immersed in deviant sexuality. I couldn't understand how people were able to accept things as common place that were so blatantly, disgustingly perverted. Everywhere you go there are unclothed women and young girls deliberately acting in ways designed specifically to seduce men... not just one man -- any man. Clothing that was designed by prostitutes for one purpose -- to illicit sexual arousal in any and every man they pass by. And the whole society laughing and making jokes about it.. laughing and making jokes about adultry and infidelity and deceit. While my entire society had embraced these things I was profoundly offended by them.
And so I searched for a style of clothing that allowed me to respect myself as a Godly woman and yet was beautiful. I became interested in Middle Eastern clothing and first bought a sari. Then I shopped online and found a salwar kameez. After that, I bought a pantsuit with longer top. Then I bought a jilbab.
That day I felt truly at ease and beautiful, not only in the eyes of my husband but in the eyes of God.
Meanwhile I read more about Islam. But I didn't know much about Muhammed until just the other day when I started watching the documentary "The Prophet Muhammed." That's when I felt things changing in my heart.
I have already said that I believe God is the one God, the only God and that there is no God but God. I believe that God is Allah, the God of Abraham. I also believe that Jesus was born of the virgin Mary by a miracle wrought by the hands of God. Whether or not that makes him a "son" is sort of a technicality. And now I am seeing what a beautiful human being that Muhammed was and also that the message he brought was from God.
I also have a hard time going to the Christian church of which I am a member. I feel very lonely there and it is difficult for me to overlook the hypocrisy of present day 'Christianity.' I know there are many very sincere individuals in the faith and they are ignorant of the horrendous uses of what is now called Christianity. They don't know that their government uses their platform to gain the power they need to continue the mass atrocities presently occurring around the world, especially in Muslim countries. But I know. And because I know it is difficult for me to sit quietly.
And then I find that the Prophet Muhammed was very clear about our obligation to speak out against injustice when we see it. He was clear about charity and helping others.
I have been a humanitarian worker in social justice for years. My husband and I have a humanitarian project where we work with one of the poorest communities in the world.
What I'm starting to realize is that, even though I am a member of a Christian church and have not made a public stand otherwise, that I am a Muslim in my heart. And I am starting to realize that I have been a Muslim in many ways for a long time and just did not know it.
Yes, I am a Muslim.
NOW WHAT DO I DO?
My husband is a Christian minister. He does not really know the extent that my faith has changed. But I know he is drawn to Islam as well. He loves the dishdasha I bought for him and has asked me to get him the head covering as well. He loves the book I have here called "Caravan of Deams" by Idries Shah. He loves the modest clothing I wear and he cries whenever we watch videos showing the persecution of Muslim people.
I have ordered the documentary on the Prophet Muhammed that I am watching on youtube so that my husband and I can sit down and watch it all together in it's entirety.
I am kind of scared of how this will all work out. It's such a major step -- such a huge change. Especially when our entire lives have been lived pretty much in the Christian community.
I wish I had more posts here so I could correspond with someone on a more regular basis.
I really wouldn't mind getting email so if anyone feels led to write to me, my address is: Removed -email address, use send email on profile
Salaam,
caroline -- just another slave of Allah
Last edited by Woodrow; 12-17-2007 at 04:59 AM.
Reason: removed email
I thank you. Music is a HUGE issue for me because it is such a big part of who I am and how I worship. I was about 18 months old when I first started singing! I play 8 musical instruments and I play them all for the glory of God. I don't listen to secular music. As a matter of fact I don't listen to radio or music much at all except when I am worshiping.
I was born a musician and that is a big part of who I am. I believe this is God's gift to me to be used to praise him and communicate with him. I don't know what I'd do if I could not sing and play music to my Creator!
I thank you. Music is a HUGE issue for me because it is such a big part of who I am and how I worship. I was about 18 months old when I first started singing! I play 8 musical instruments and I play them all for the glory of God. I don't listen to secular music. As a matter of fact I don't listen to radio or music much at all except when I am worshiping.
I was born a musician and that is a big part of who I am. I believe this is God's gift to me to be used to praise him and communicate with him. I don't know what I'd do if I could not sing and play music to my Creator!
I will advise you to be certain who your creator is, which is his book, gain enough certainty, then find out what he wants you to do.
I am certain who my Creator is. My Creator is God, Allah, the One God, the only God, the Creator of Heaven and Earth. There is none like him, none equal, not even close. And I know that he created me with music in my heart. I never took a single piano lesson but when I arrived at university I tested out of two years of music theory with advance standing. That is a gift of Allah. That is something you're born with. Of this, I am certain.
I listen to some of that on youtube. I also like to listen to things like the song "Allah Knows" and beautiful songs like that. I like hearing the call to prayer. They fill me with such awe. I love the vocal music since I am primarily a singer, but I don't think there is anything wrong with a violin or a piano any more than there is with a car. It all depends on where you let it take you. You can drive it to the mosque or to the bar -- in one case it's a good thing and takes you nearer to Allah and in the other case it is an instrument of sin and degradation.
I guess almost anything is like that, even our faith.
I listen to some of that on youtube. I also like to listen to things like the song "Allah Knows" and beautiful songs like that. I like hearing the call to prayer. They fill me with such awe. I love the vocal music since I am primarily a singer, but I don't think there is anything wrong with a violin or a piano any more than there is with a car. It all depends on where you let it take you. You can drive it to the mosque or to the bar -- in one case it's a good thing and takes you nearer to Allah and in the other case it is an instrument of sin and degradation.
I guess almost anything is like that, even our faith.
I think music is like alcohol, in that alcohol can be a good thing, but because the bad things about it outweigh the good it is haraam. Hope you understand what i mean
Please forgive me if i have said anything wrong
Last edited by 'Abd al-Baari; 12-18-2007 at 07:39 PM.
I think music is like alcohol, in that alcohol can be a good thing, but because the bad things about it outweigh the good it is haraam. Hope you understand what i mean
Yes I understand what you mean and I respect you and your belief. I do respectfully disagree, however. We use alcohol to cleanse wounds and heal our bodies just like I use music to cleanse the wounds of living in this world and give thanks to Allah. I would not drink the alcohol any more than I would use music to sully myself. It has a purpose and if that purpose is perverted it becomes destructive like so many of the other beautiful things Allah has given us.
It is the perversion of the gift that gives it the power to harm.
Like a friend said, I can use a hammer to build a house or knock you in the head with it. It doesn't make the hammer good or bad -- it's just a tool...
The difference in our stance could also be due to the fact that the bad has never outweighed the good in music for me because I have almost always used music exclusively for worship. I don't watch TV, I don't listen to radio, etc.. I play and sing worship music. That's probably a different experience than most people have with music.
From my point of view, music appeals to emotion, emotions cloud judgement, and leaves manking astray.
Also if Allah and His Messenger tell me not to do something, i wont do it without question. but we are allowed to question, Allah appeals to our reason many times in the Quran. hope i didnt get it wrong, please do verify before accepting.
But please dont let this put u off from Islam, atleast do accept the truth. On the day of judgement, i have heard from Anwar Awlakis talk - hearafter (please again to verify), that some people will have sinned sooo much, but just becuase of the testonomy of faith, the shahadah, just that alone will outweigh all the bad deeds, and he/she will enter paradise. So do your research, read the Quran, lectures, gain the certainty that this is the truth, then at least make the shahadah. Hope that helps
Many Muslims compose long poems and songs in praise of Islam and especially Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alaihi wa salaam). Nothing wrong with this, but if you truly love the Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa salaam) you would follow what he taught. That is true love in my opinion, love which no lyrics or poems can truly express.
I want to clarify what I mean by "music." I am not talking about listening to songs on the radio and such. What I am talking about is when I stop at my piano and play worship music to Allah. I sing songs like "I worship you almighty God -- there is none like you..." Sometimes I just play the instrument because my feelings are beyond words. Many times I sit at my piano with my eyes closed and tears running down my face because of all that God has done for me. The music comes from a heart so full of worship and thanks to Allah that there is no other way to express my gratitude and love to Him.
That's what I am referring to when I say "music." I couldn't care less about what's on the radio. As a matter of fact, I can't stand it and NEVER have a radio on in my home or car. The only time I even have to hear that... well, that "stuff", is when I'm in a store and can't avoid it. But I don't like it then either and wish they'd turn it off.
The difference in our stance could also be due to the fact that the bad has never outweighed the good in music for me because I have almost always used music exclusively for worship. I don't watch TV, I don't listen to radio, etc.. I play and sing worship music. That's probably a different experience than most people have with music.
Well caroline it's not your fault, you've been bought up like this, you been playing music since you were very little so you are used to it. Obviously it will be very hard to give up. It would be the same for any other person. You'll understand this more better when you will get even closer to god, one day you will see that you were making such a big mistake.
First let me say that I am not trying to be argumentative and I appreciate all the counsel I receive here... I have the utmost respect for you all. But I have to be honest about my questions in order to make informed decisions.
Music is a fun topic of discussion and debate among Muslims - some scholars have ruled that is forbidden, based on evidences from our scriptural texts, and others have come to the conclusion it is not forbidden. The majority consider it forbidden, and I personally follow that opinion.
However, I would not really give too much time or thought to the issue - I'd prefer to focus on the issue of God Himself, and whether Muhammad (peace be upon Him) was a Prophet of Allah. If this is what you believe in, then simply officially take the shahadah (if you haven't already) and welcome to Islam, to submitting yourself completely to the commandment of Allah.
And, I'd say pray for husband as well, and call invite him too. It sounds like you're both on the same page, you just need that little nudge - maybe he wants to become Muslim and is wondering how you'd react, you never know
So, have you taken your shahadah? And if not, could you? Like, right now?
Yes, Islamic Relief is the charity I like as well.
I've watched a Malaysian documentary called "Ziarah" about Muslims in Africa, which shows Islamic Relief works in Malawi and South Africa. It's a very good NGO.
Subhanallah your post is so heart-warming, inshaa Allaah Allaah Ta'ala will guide you further into becoming a full-fledged Muslim. Besides, you're already half way there aye? I understand the discontent that you feel with your Christian faith, and as Muslims it is praised to seek knowledge. So keep seeking knowledge in Islaam and inshaa Allaah you'll say your shahada and feel peace inside your heart.
When I started praying again, reciting du'aas and being an overall better Muslim I started feeling peace inside of me. There were less worries because I know that Allaah wills everything to happen.
My husband and I watched the documentary, "Inside Islam" last night. He was very moved and afterwards he said, "There are so many really good things about that religion but my faith is firm in the salvation of Jesus on the cross."
For me, I know my husband is a God loving, God fearing man and he will come to the right conclusion. I will leave that up to God to finish. And then I will follow my husband.
As for the music, I guess I stumbled on a question that is sort of a hot topic. So I will leave it alone and trust God to show me what is right.
I do have a few hesitations about the practice and beliefs of Islam and have not officially stated the... oh, what did you call that? First of all, I am waiting on God to show me through my husband if this is the right path for us. Second, I am still uncomfortable with the was Jesus is portrayed as not so important in Islam. It seems that Mohammed is glorified and Jesus is sort of ignored.
I'm being honest because I need to know, so I hope I am not offending anyone. Please forgive me if I do.
And I am not yet certain about Mohammed. What I have learned about him so far has made me love him and the things he taught, but I am still very devoted to Jesus and consider him the Messiah of God and I fear that Islam would force me to put Mohammed above Jesus. That is not feeling right for me.
But I continue to read and learn about Mohammed and the more I learn the more I love him. Do I believe he was a true prophet of the one God, Allah? YES. I do believe that he was a true prophet because he declared that Jesus Christ was the Messiah and that is the criteria I've always known to be able to distinguish a true prophet from a false prophet. Those are the two basic beliefs and I can say YES that I do believe those two things.
Some of the other details are still problematic for me and I don't want to do the wrong thing. I especially don't want to lead my husband down a wrong path. He is a very good man and quite impressionable when it comes to me. Whatever I bring to him he will honor and so I have to be very very careful about what I bring to him in order not to abuse the power I have over his heart.
He watched the documentary and now knows more about Islam. He said he did believe that of the two religions (Islam and Christianity) that the Muslims were far more devoted to God.
One more question.
What about people who convert OUT of Islam? Is it true that they can be prosecuted by law?
I will be very honest and frank. I don't want to enter into anything lightly. Especially if its something I can never get out of. And I certainly don't want to do anything that could possibly lead my husband into Hell. I would die first.
It's prayer time. I downloaded that software that gives the call to prayer at the times in my town. I don't know what any of it means but I love hearing it. And I just say my own prayer and think about the fact that over a billion people are praying at the same time all around the world.
May I advice you that you do not focus at this moment what Islaam forbids and what it does not rather focus on the very fundamentals of Islaam which is Tawheed, Oneness of God. Who is Allaah? What is Islaam? What is the purpose of life? Who is Muhammad?
Once you gain understanding of that then it will be easy for you to do the rest of acts/worship and abstain from all the Islaam forbids and do all that Islaam commands.
Focus on the fundamentals Islaam and do not look towards what the people say pick up the book of Allah Al-Qur’an and the Tafsir (explanation of the Qur’an) and hold fast on to that and take that as your main source and reference point. Today every can talk about Islaam and but only few follow the true Islaam and the true islaam is that of the Qur’an, the sunnah according to the understanding of the sahabah (companions of the prophet).
If you want to learn a bit more about Islaam feel free to PM maybe we can talk via MSN
Oh, one other things my husband said while watching that documentary on Islam. When they were talking about the rise of militant groups and strife within Islam he simply said, "Persecution has done that." and shook his head in sympathy. He understands that people who are persecuted will often be overtaken by anger and frustration.
I was up till almost 4am this morning. I kept going to bed but I couldn't sleep. I read the words of Jesus in the Bible and how he called God "your father" whenever he was talking to the believers. I thought, well if Jesus thought of himself as the only son of God, why does he call all believers sons of God. It's being used figuratively...
on and on I thought and thought and could not sleep. Finally at about 3:45 I went and took some medication to help me sleep.
I feel a worry in my husband and a little distance between us and I don't like that. I also feel very confused sometimes because I wonder if I am going down a wrong path, getting lost somehow. And yet I feel so drawn to Islam. I am more than curious about it. I spend most of my waking hours thinking or reading about Islam.. wondering about it. It's like a hunger.
Part of me wants to just turn the clock back and go back to my old comfortable beliefs. But I know that won't work.
Thank you for your advice. I did pray that prayer and am going to pray more often, asking God for guidance in this. And after a couple more posts I'll be a full member and then I'll be able to private message with some of the sisters. That will probably help too.
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