During worship services as my Christian church, I have always felt such a strong urge to bow down to God. Sometimes I do this even though it is very unusual. Sometimes I feel the presence of God so strongly that I have to fall to my knees with my head on the floor and give honor to the Creator of Heaven and Earth -- the God of everything -- the One God -- the Only God. And I sing -- THERE IS NONE LIKE YOU.
In the US, we have been shielded from Islam for many generations. Until now, people like me have grown up all their lives without knowing a THING about Islam other than the lies we are told. But you can't always blame the people who tell the lies because they are only repeating lies that were told to them as truth and they now believe they are telling the truth -- they are only ignorant, not necessarily evil.
Most of us have grown up not knowing anything about Islam, usually not even really knowing the difference between Islam, Muslim, Hindu, Buddist, etc... It's true -- most of us don't know a single thing about any of these other religions other than the fact that they are NOT Christian, which in this culture, pretty much amounts to being evil tools of the devil.
I don't say that to stir up contention -- only to explain.
Most of us learn to fear anything that is different than what we've been taught. We learn that different beliefs are very dangerous and that they will slip into your spirit and take you over and the next thing you know you'll be burning in a devil's hell for being deceived by false religion.
So we are not only shielded form information about non-Christian religions, we are taught to fear the very act of even questioning or investigating other religions. We are taught that to open a sacred text other than the Bible is opening yourself up to infectious ideas that will trap you like drugs and drag you into deception. We are taught that it is only safe to blind yourself from any information about other religions, particularly Islam.
But God will come to those he chooses, regardless of the barriers that ignorant men have built up around them.
I started thinking about Islam from many directions. First, I wondered about the people our government was demonizing and what purpose they had in doing that. Then in reading and researching the Middle East on topics of politics and culture I learned more about Islam.
What is Islam? I wondered. So I looked at some videos and took out a copy of the Qu'ran I had in my library and read some passages in it. I was very surprised to find that Allah was not a false god but that he was the ONE God -- the God of Abraham, Issac, Ishmael, Jacob, Jesus. Then I researched Israel and the history of Zionism.
I began to see that Muslims were the seed of Abraham and that Islam was the only truly mono-theistic religion and that Muslims were a people under attack from all sides.
At the same time, I was full of despair from living in the pornographic West. Even though I seemed alone in my beliefs I was deeply offended by the immodesty of our culture and the behavior of a society immersed in deviant sexuality. I couldn't understand how people were able to accept things as common place that were so blatantly, disgustingly perverted. Everywhere you go there are unclothed women and young girls deliberately acting in ways designed specifically to seduce men... not just one man -- any man. Clothing that was designed by prostitutes for one purpose -- to illicit sexual arousal in any and every man they pass by. And the whole society laughing and making jokes about it.. laughing and making jokes about adultry and infidelity and deceit. While my entire society had embraced these things I was profoundly offended by them.
And so I searched for a style of clothing that allowed me to respect myself as a Godly woman and yet was beautiful. I became interested in Middle Eastern clothing and first bought a sari. Then I shopped online and found a salwar kameez. After that, I bought a pantsuit with longer top. Then I bought a jilbab.
That day I felt truly at ease and beautiful, not only in the eyes of my husband but in the eyes of God.
Meanwhile I read more about Islam. But I didn't know much about Muhammed until just the other day when I started watching the documentary "The Prophet Muhammed." That's when I felt things changing in my heart.
I have already said that I believe God is the one God, the only God and that there is no God but God. I believe that God is Allah, the God of Abraham. I also believe that Jesus was born of the virgin Mary by a miracle wrought by the hands of God. Whether or not that makes him a "son" is sort of a technicality. And now I am seeing what a beautiful human being that Muhammed was and also that the message he brought was from God.
I also have a hard time going to the Christian church of which I am a member. I feel very lonely there and it is difficult for me to overlook the hypocrisy of present day 'Christianity.' I know there are many very sincere individuals in the faith and they are ignorant of the horrendous uses of what is now called Christianity. They don't know that their government uses their platform to gain the power they need to continue the mass atrocities presently occurring around the world, especially in Muslim countries. But I know. And because I know it is difficult for me to sit quietly.
And then I find that the Prophet Muhammed was very clear about our obligation to speak out against injustice when we see it. He was clear about charity and helping others.
I have been a humanitarian worker in social justice for years. My husband and I have a humanitarian project where we work with one of the poorest communities in the world.
What I'm starting to realize is that, even though I am a member of a Christian church and have not made a public stand otherwise, that I am a Muslim in my heart. And I am starting to realize that I have been a Muslim in many ways for a long time and just did not know it.
Yes, I am a Muslim.
NOW WHAT DO I DO?
My husband is a Christian minister. He does not really know the extent that my faith has changed. But I know he is drawn to Islam as well. He loves the dishdasha I bought for him and has asked me to get him the head covering as well. He loves the book I have here called "Caravan of Deams" by Idries Shah. He loves the modest clothing I wear and he cries whenever we watch videos showing the persecution of Muslim people.
I have ordered the documentary on the Prophet Muhammed that I am watching on youtube so that my husband and I can sit down and watch it all together in it's entirety.
I am kind of scared of how this will all work out. It's such a major step -- such a huge change. Especially when our entire lives have been lived pretty much in the Christian community.
I wish I had more posts here so I could correspond with someone on a more regular basis.
I really wouldn't mind getting email so if anyone feels led to write to me, my address is: Removed -email address, use send email on profile
Salaam,
caroline -- just another slave of Allah
Last edited by Woodrow; 12-17-2007 at 04:59 AM.
Reason: removed email
even though that i am a young girl but may allah bless u and guide u and i think u should tell ur husband i am u sure that he will understand and maybe if u tell him about islam and the quran he will forgive u and inshallah become a muslim.
Islam is the fastest growing religion in the world, especially in the US. Even with all the media smear...
Islam is not the fastest growing religion in the world.
I think the "media smear" is one of the main reasons why people grow interest in Islam. After investigating Islam, most will find out it's not as bad as the media portrays it and some of them may even convert.
Caroline, can I ask you a question?
If your husband decided to convert to islam, would it make it easier for you?
Yes -- that is what I've been waiting for. And last night he had a breakthrough! He confessed to me that he feels that everything he ever believed is falling down around him and he is seeing the message of Jesus for the first time. He said he suddenly sees that he's been following blindly like a sheep the words of any evangelist that came on the radio or stood up in church. We got down on our knees and prayed together and he called out to God. He cried and sobbed his love and worship to God asking Him to show us the right way... to show us the truth... He asked God to forgive us for our errors and to help us find the truth. He told God that only He knows how much we love him and how much we long to worship him in the way that HE wants us to worship him. We cried and prayed together, for the first time to God only in nobody's name.
Then we read the first sura of the Quran and watched a video on the 99 names of Allah. After praying for guidance we opened the Bible to the 2nd chapter of Proverbs, which reads:
1. My son, if thou wilt receive my words, and hide my commandments with thee;
2 So that thou incline thine ear unto wisdom, and apply thine heart to understanding;
3 Yea, if thou criest after knowledge, and liftest up thy voice for understanding;
4 If thou seekest her as silver, and searchest for her as for hid treasures;
5 Then shalt thou understand the fear of the LORD, and find the knowledge of God.
6 For the LORD giveth wisdom: out of his mouth cometh knowledge and understanding.
7 He layeth up sound wisdom for the righteous: he is a buckler to them that walk uprightly.
8 He keepeth the paths of judgment, and preserveth the way of his saints.
9 Then shalt thou understand righteousness, and judgment, and equity; yea, every good path.
10 ¶ When wisdom entereth into thine heart, and knowledge is pleasant unto thy soul;
11 Discretion shall preserve thee, understanding shall keep thee:
And we could hardly read the passage because we were crying after the first verse.
I knew that if I trusted God he would reveal himself to my husband and lead us to the right way, to the truth of Himself and show us how to find Him.
All things in order... that's what I prayed for. And Allah, the merciful, did grant it to me in very SHORT ORDER.
And I thank you all for your prayers and encouragement. Please continue to pray for us that the journey will be good. A lot of things will change. The project we have in Haiti is based on Christianity so we don't know what will happen when we go there and meet with the family and community as Muslims. It is a very remote area and I don't know if we can get anyone to come and help us as we are still very ignorant and have only read the first few Suras of the Quran. We don't know if the community will convert or if they'll turn away from us... we just don't know.
There is a very small Muslim population in Haiti but they are in the major city and our project is in an area that is VERY remote -- 4 hours on a rickety sailboat just to get to the island... And I know for a fact that there are NO Muslims on that island. The people know NOTHING about Islam.
This is kind of disappointing to me -- throughout my questioning I had lots of responses from people but since I posted the story of my and my husband's decision to consider Islam more seriously, I haven't had any response at all.
Except one person who has given me good encouragement via private message.
And we could hardly read the passage because we were crying after the first verse.
I knew that if I trusted God he would reveal himself to my husband and lead us to the right way, to the truth of Himself and show us how to find Him.
All things in order... that's what I prayed for. And Allah, the merciful, did grant it to me in very SHORT ORDER.
Caroline, your public sharing of the very personal struggles that you are going through as you learn about Islam and as you and your husband see Christianity in a new light is "breath-takingly beautiful". Both of you seem to be such sincere God-seeking people who just happen to have been born in a Christian country. I earnestly pray that your spiritual journey comes to the best conclusion that leads to Eternal Life.
One thing that I have observed since becoming a Muslim is that I received very little support and encouragement after taking my shahada 26 years ago. Oh, people were friendly and they were glad to see me when I came for prayer or social events, but I never really formed any close friendships until recently. I think the fact that I was the only Caucasian American at the Saudi-sponsored masjid made it more difficult for me. There was not some kind of Sunday school-type of setting to teach and slowly indoctrinate me into the religion. There is a lot more to learn in Islam as it is a much more ritualistic religion than Christianity and we say our prayers in Arabic. Honestly, I have learned most of what I know of Islam from books, the internet, and software. I have a bookshelf full of books on Islam from which I can recommend.
If you and your husband become Muslims, then I encourage you to make contact with several local masjids http://www.islamicfinder.com/ and try to make contact with American reverts of a similar background. I will also be more than glad to help you in any way that I can.
Caroline
You and your husband are just amazing people. I felt I wanted to talk to your husband too when I started to put your name at the beginning of this input! Tears almost coming to my eyes while I reading that inner struggle in you and ur husband!
I remember now how sure I was about you and ur husband becoming Muslims.
I wanted to talk to you ALOOOOOOOOOOOOOT kay: As much as I was so eager to tell you much about Islam, I was afraid to be pushing you to something you still have doubts about. I wanted to respect those doubts and give you the needed space to think and consider by yourself. :smile:
My prayers to Allah to guide you and your husband to the right path (Which I have no doubts that it is Islam).
We all will always be beside you. I even sent you a private message here and another one on ur email account, and I would have sent you more if I werent afraid as I mentioned !
MustafaMc
I like your inputs very much and would like to thank you for them. I feel I like you in Allah. :smile: This bond of believing in one God, that gathers us is much more authentic than any other bonds of color or race or palce etc.
In the Muslim world, there are not as many institutions as in the Christian world. Hence, we wont expect much is done to support new Muslim.
I wont be exaggerating if I asid I feel like we are one family here. :smile:
Muslim1, I thank you for your kind words, may Allah reward you. It is strange indeed, that I now feel a stronger bond with my Muslim brothers than I do my own Christian brother. As you indicated, the bond in our hearts for the worship and love of One God is "thicker than blood" as we say in USA.
Awww sweetie, I'm sure it wasn't intentional. I usually check in on my breaks at work, but alas, today there was too much to do.
As MustafaMc said, sometimes conversion is a lonely road to walk. You're shedding your comfortable surroundings going to look for something new, unfamiliar, and quite honestly, it can be scary.
I was an internet only muslim for quite some time after I converted - ie i hung out with muslims online and not in reality. it was a big step to take to actually go into a mosque, but once I did, it really did help. i'm not saying all muslims were warm and loving in real life, because there are certainly a bunch who don't know what to do with a convert, but there are some out there who I'm sure will adopt you guys.
check to see if any local mosques have introductory classes on islam. call the mosque and ask if there is a couple around your age who would be willing to meet with you both and talk about islam over coffee or tea or something. Also be on the lookout for other converts in your area. While I have a great many friends from all over the muslim world, I find that I can relate best to those who've "been there, done that," so to say.
I think you have my email. Don't ever hesitate to drop me a line if you need anything!
Thank you all for your replies. I apologize for my whining -- but I need reassurance! I'll admit it.
My husband and I were just talking about this past year -- it has been a year of trials for us. We are the kinds of people who give a lot to others. I've seen him give away large sums of money and time and leave the comfort of his own home to sweat and toil in horrible conditions just to help others. He never will ignore a person in need. Over the years, many people have come to us, especially him, for help and he has never refused anyone. But this last year we've had some financial setbacks that have changed our situation quite a bit. One thing that has set us back is the time and money we've put into the work we do in Haiti. But the last year it seems like people have fallen away one by one. It's as though God is showing us that you can't depend on people. You know how they say you 'find out who your friends are?' It's been like that for us and we keep coming back to the fact that only God is the one we can rely and depend on. Even in our fundraising work for the kids we help in Haiti... the Christians have turned their backs on us again and again. The Baptists only fund Baptists and the Methodists only fund Methodists and on and on... but nobody can see an orphan in Haiti as part of the family of God. It's been a huge let down for us. We had assumed that the Christians would be more caring. But they're such partisans!
It's been good though, because our fund raising efforts go better in secular organizations that are based on true charity then on proselytizing. And God continues to guide us.
All in all, it's been a very trying year. We got caught in a hurricane, got eaten up by mosquitoes, got stranded in Haiti, on and on...we haven't been to church for at least a month. And to top it off, the Christians we trusted so much don't seem to even notice our absence. So I guess trying to work our way into a new social group won't be too much of a shock.
I know you can't rely on people and that you can't judge a belief system solely by the people you meet. But honestly, I do hope to make some friends who think more like we do. That's the one thing I do hope about Muslims -- I hope they think more about wanting to live right and wanting to help others and wanting to try to do good things in the world.
We live in a college town and there is an Islamic Center (small). I've sent an email to them and am waiting to hear back. There is a mosque about an hour away as well. But I think the best thing would be to try to find Muslims here in our town that we can get to know.
Meanwhile, we trust God. And we have a very good relationship and enjoy any time we have together.
And then I come here and read and write and try to find out more.
Thank you all for your understanding and again -- sorry for my whining!
We say in Egypt, Blood thicker than water! Or it is literally said: Blood cant be water. Actually, I dont know what brings water around
It is a so strong bond cuz it is not for our benefit or sake, but rather it is all for God. This is the thing that gives it a unique taste and power.
Actually, you are right. We say that here too, but then again I think you got my point. Insha'Allah (Allah willing) I will see you in Paradise, but I may not see anyone from my family except my wife.
Amazing Interview with a 14 years old new Muslimah !
The way she speaks is really impressive .. after my conversation with her .. I thought that I must tell her the fact that she is very mature .. please read her words .. and distribute it .. read the story now !
IslamWay.com:
Dear Sister .. As-salamu alaykum wa rahmatu Allah sister , first of all .. Congratulations for accepting Islam
Sara:
wa alaikum assalam, thank-you
IslamWay.com:
Can you give us brief information about yourself ?
Sara:
My name is Sara, I am 14 years old and in high school. I live in the U.S.
IslamWay.com:
Welcome sister Sara .. I'm really amazed to see someone in your age searching for the truth .. let me admit that .. Can you tell us .. how did you know about Islam for the first time in your life ?
Sara:
Yes, the first time I heard about Islam was about 3 years ago, I was curious about God and religion and wanted to know what others believed. I started reading different materials and read about Islam. I was amazed by how much sense it made.
IslamWay.com:
Isn't it kind of strange to start reading about religions when you were 11 years old .. is there is any special thing that you have other than other kids around you ?
Sara -smiling-:
I suppose it is strange to read about religion at 11, most my friends didn't understand how I could be so interested in finding God. My family is Christian, and I have been raised in religion, so it seemed only natural for me to study religion thoroughly and decide on my own what the truth was.
IslamWay.com:
Did you read the Quran ?
Sara:
Not at that time, no.
IslamWay.com:
"A Muslim woman is oppressed and needs to be librated like the western women" .. do you have a comment about this ?
Sara:
It saddens me that so many people in the world today believe that Muslim women are oppressed. I believe that we are the most liberated women on earth! To follow the guidelines Allah has given us is the most liberating thing any woman can do.
IslamWay.com:
Well .. from what you see in the west .. are the women there librated ?
Sara:
No, most women in the west are oppressed. We are used as sex symbols. Most women wear outfits that barely cover them, they use their bodies to get attention. We are expected to have 'perfect' bodies by the media's standards, we are supposed to look and act a certain way, and we are expected to do whatever the media tells us to do, and that is to disrespect ourselves and Allah.
IslamWay.com:
So did you wear the hijab ?
Sara:
No I do not. I would like to very much, but my family is unaware that I converted to Islam, and I will wear the hijab after I tell them.
IslamWay.com:
You think that you will have problems with them after telling them ?
Sara:
I'm not sure. I supose I am allowing my fear to keep me from telling them.
IslamWay.com:
I see .. Just ask Allah to give your the power and the patience to take this step .. and I guess all Muslims who are reading this interview now will make du'a for you to ease things in sha Allah ..
IslamWay.com:
What is the thing you liked most in the Muslims community ?
Sara:
I admire the dedication Muslims have to Islam, there is an amazing peace and grace that Allah gives to those who serve him as completely as they can. To many it may seem hard to follow Allah's guidelines, but Allah gives every Muslim an amazing strength to help them. What I liked most about the Muslims I met was how friendly and caring they were.
IslamWay.com:
"Most of Muslims nowadays are not practicing Muslims .. " first of all .. what do you feel about that ? And is that why Islam is not spreading too fast ? And what would you say to a none pracitcing Muslim ?
Sara:
1) I firmly believe that the statement "Most Muslims nowadays are not practicing Muslims .. " is false. I do not believe you can truly be Muslim without being a 'practicing Muslim'. Islam isn't just a religion, it's a way of life. That's one of the many things I love about it.
2) Islam is one of the fastest growing religions in the world, I believe the reason for this is that people see the truth in it, and when they decide to live to serve Allah, they are given an amazing happiness and grace that others see and admire, that is what draws people to Islam.
3) Trust Allah, serve him completely, and he will give you the grace, peace, and happiness you need to be a 'practicing Muslim'.
IslamWay.com:
What is your future plans ? Your dreams ?
Sara:
I've always had a dream: To become a leader in our world and once again help establish peace and good relations between different people.
IslamWay.com:
Do you have any plans for learning arabic ?
Sara:
Yes. i LOVE languages. It's something that i enjoy very much, and my parents support my Arabic education, I will hopefully begin taking a language course this Fall. My dad lived in an Arabic speaking country for years, and so he would help me study.
IslamWay.com:
oh i see .. which country ?
Sara:
Sudan (in Africa)
IslamWay.com:
Can you tell us in details how did you revert to Islam ?
Sara:
I had originally heard about Islam about 3 years ago, my parents found out that I was reading about it and discouraged me from doing so, studying it much further. Then last Fall I started highschool at a new school that has a lot of Muslim students.
When I first started going there I remembered my studying and was curious about how they would act. My parents had told me Muslims were horrible mean, militant, abusive people. So I kind of expected them to be that way, I was wrong! The first couple of friends I made there were Muslims.
They were nice, friendly, caring people. I remember them talking about their God, and I was amazed by how much they loved Islam. I began very quickly began respect them, and quickly became very curious about their beliefs. A friend of mine asked them about Islam one day, and it turned into a several hour long conversation about Allah, and Islam, and daily life. I was suprised by how much sense it all made, and how happy they were. I began reading the Qur'an and looking for more information on the internet, and soon after I said the shahadah and converted to Islam. I'm still amazed by how happy and peacefull my life is. Allah has given me much strength in every day life. Inshallah my parents will see this.
IslamWay.com:
In sha Allah .. May Allah reward you sister for your time .. and may Allah keep you in the right path .. Amen .. As-salamu alaykum
In case anybody wonders why I have changed my status back to sister in humanity/religion undisclosed, it's because it's been brought to my attention that I'm not really trusted as a Muslim until I've taken the Shahada in public and since there is not Mosque in my area and I am still waiting to hear back from the people I contacted at the Islamic Center, I am not really considered a Muslim. This is something I wanted to do with full disclosure and support from my husband who I will NOT disrespect.
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Re: Being Muslim
kay: As much as I was so eager to tell you much about Islam, I was afraid to be pushing you to something you still have doubts about. I wanted to respect those doubts and give you the needed space to think and consider by yourself. :smile:
Or it is literally said: Blood cant be water. 
Actually, I dont know what brings water around 
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