Do you bite someone's head off once they start talking? Or do all your friends describe you as too mean? Well here I will tell you how to be kind.
Steps
Be happy (not phony happy). Before you can be kind to others you have to be kind to yourself. Calling yourself fat or ugly makes you feel bad and you may try to criticize other people for justification.
Avoid gossiping/spreading rumors about other people. If someone is being mean to another person, like calling them stupid or fat, try not to join in. You could even stand up for them. If your friends are aggressively-teasing or gossiping-about someone, give a non-confrontational defense---such as "She's always been nice to me" (provided she has always been nice to you, don't lie; lying is wrong)---or steer them away from that conversation topic to at least delay them until you leave.
Be a good listener. When talking to someone try to listen and sincerely pay-attention until they are almost done.
Compliment people on something they're wearing (e.g. "Oh, I love your shirt!" or "Your shoes are awesome!"). Try not to get jealous; if they know you're jealous it can cause an awkward moment; it's very awkward when you want something they're wearing. If someone compliments you, thank them and continue what you were doing or compliment them in return, out of obligation (remember this person is trying to be nice and friendly towards you, perhaps wanting to be your friend).
Be yourself, don't concern yourself with whether or not you look "dumb" while you are doing something; most of the time people aren't really paying attention anyway.
Start each day with a plan. Think of what you would like to see and do, then think of someone who is lonely, perhaps lives alone and has no family (the more depressed the better!). Ask this person to join you in your plan for the day. Share your time with them (e.g. ask them to lunch); this could be the highlight of their week or life. Take joy in making others happy!
Offer to pet-sit when you know a friend is going on vacation. If you know a neighbor is sick, ask them if they need groceries when you go grocery shopping.
Stop and talk to someone who is lonely, share a cup of coffee and pay twice the bill.
Whatever you say, whenever you say it, do so in a calm, polite voice that is respectful to the other party. Don't unneccessarily raise your voice, as it makes you seem like a rude person.
Help, even if you aren't asked. You should look around to see if anyone needs help and help them without prompt. It can be a simple thing, to help someone with something that he seems to have difficulties in or something you think he needs or will need. Whenever you can, try to help someone else. It could be at their work, with their homework or about their relationships and more. If someone asks you something, be open-minded and don't immediately dismiss them, try to be as helpful as you can. Even if you don't do what they asked, you can at least suggest another to possibly aid them.
Make it a hobby to volunteer somewhere every once in a while or do something really nice for other people.
Don't feel the need to gloat about your good-deeds; be humble. Doing something nice solely for the good graces of those around you isn't really kindness. Aiding someone unaware of your help can feel just as good.
Adopt pets; it is an excellent exercise of loving kindness. You can even adopt temporarily by offering to foster an animal and help socialize it so that it can be adopted by another family or person.
If someone is upset, comfort them by consoling them and giving them a hug. Ask them if they would like to talk about it. If they have had a fallen out with a friend that is your friend, hear both sides of the story before picking sides and do not annoy them if they want to talk in private.
Tips
Don't think only of the short term; the kind acts you perform today may teach someone to do kind acts for others, they will learn from your example as the recipient of your kindness.
You might not like everyone and that's normal; even the nicest people on earth get annoyed! Just continue being polite nonetheless.
When someone drops something, pick it up for them. Or you can even offer to pick it up together, no matter the size!
If someone you do not know smiles at you, don't hesitate to smile back; it's a kind gesture.
Kindness is free so purchase it everyday!
Warnings
If someone comments in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable, try to ignore them. If they keep bothering or antagonizing you, seek your friends for protection. It is best to tell a trusted adult, such as a parent or teacher about such issues.
Assalamu Alikum wa rahamtullahi wa barakatuh
I get so hissy at people. So defencive.
- Hamdulillah it so happens, that sometimes, I come across something either in a book or the TV and then the same matter comes in front of me in real life. It was yesterday in a program I'd recorded earlier, called 'Islam in Focus - Improving ones character' that the presenter told the story of the bedouin who urinated in the mosque. Imagine we saw that happening in front our our sinful eyes? We'd see red and at least verbally abuse the man if not attack him physically. But what did our dear Prophet (saw) do? He simply told the ashaba who were boiling with anger to beat the man, to leave him. The beduoin watching the Prophet's reaction came and sat next to him (saw). The Prophet then, in the most gentle manner, began teaching the man that this was a place of worship and we don't do these things in places of worship. At this the bedouin threws his hands in the air and said, 'O Allah, forgive me and forgive Muhammad (saw) but don't forgive anyone else." He didn't want those who wanted to beat him to be forgiven. But he made dua for the Prophet (saw) because he found him to be beautiful and merciful in his manners.
So the Prophet (saw) told him not to say that as we cannot limit the mercy of Allah. That the mercy of Allah is so vast, we cannot limit it. And Allah will shower His mercy on me, you and all of us. SubhanAllah! The Prophet (saw) told the man all these things without any anger - because the man was ignorant.
We have so much to learn... So many changes to make in our manners and characters. We can start by following the example of the Prophet in this story. May Allah's peace and blessing be upon him and us. Ameen.
format_quote Originally Posted by Scents of Jannah
- Hamdulillah it so happens, that sometimes, I come across something either in a book or the TV and then the same matter comes in front of me in real life. It was yesterday in a program I'd recorded earlier, called 'Islam in Focus - Improving ones character' that the presenter told the story of the bedouin who urinated in the mosque. Imagine we saw that happening in front our our sinful eyes? We'd see red and at least verbally abuse the man if not attack him physically. But what did our dear Prophet (saw) do? He simply told the ashaba who were boiling with anger to beat the man, to leave him. The beduoin watching the Prophet's reaction came and sat next to him (saw). The Prophet then, in the most gentle manner, began teaching the man that this was a place of worship and we don't do these things in places of worship. At this the bedouin threws his hands in the air and said, 'O Allah, forgive me and forgive Muhammad (saw) but don't forgive anyone else." He didn't want those who wanted to beat him to be forgiven. But he made dua for the Prophet (saw) because he found him to be beautiful and merciful in his manners.
So the Prophet (saw) told him not to say that as we cannot limit the mercy of Allah. That the mercy of Allah is so vast, we cannot limit it. And Allah will shower His mercy on me, you and all of us. SubhanAllah! The Prophet (saw) told the man all these things without any anger - because the man was ignorant.
We have so much to learn... So many changes to make in our manners and characters. We can start by following the example of the Prophet in this story. May Allah's peace and blessing be upon him and us. Ameen.
Scents of Jannah...I find this happens a lot also.
Hissy person, the problem with hissy fits is that you dont concentrate enough on a subjet when being hissy, so it leads to being wrong....wrong and hissy, not good combination
"O ye who belive! Endure, outdo all others in endurance, be ready, and observe your duty to Allah, in order that you may succeed"
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- Hamdulillah it so happens, that sometimes, I come across something either in a book or the TV and then the same matter comes in front of me in real life. It was yesterday in a program I'd recorded earlier, called 'Islam in Focus - Improving ones character' that the presenter told the story of the bedouin who urinated in the mosque. Imagine we saw that happening in front our our sinful eyes? We'd see red and at least verbally abuse the man if not attack him physically. But what did our dear Prophet (saw) do? He simply told the ashaba who were boiling with anger to beat the man, to leave him. The beduoin watching the Prophet's reaction came and sat next to him (saw). The Prophet then, in the most gentle manner, began teaching the man that this was a place of worship and we don't do these things in places of worship. At this the bedouin threws his hands in the air and said, 'O Allah, forgive me and forgive Muhammad (saw) but don't forgive anyone else." He didn't want those who wanted to beat him to be forgiven. But he made dua for the Prophet (saw) because he found him to be beautiful and merciful in his manners.
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