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Help with issue with my cousin and I

  1. #1
    smoothcriminal's Avatar Limited Member
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    Help with issue with my cousin and I

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    hi

    I have a cousin who is 22, and i am 19, male. We have known each other for our whole lives. we have been pretty close since we were young. I know marriage between first cousins is allowed but I personally would not marry my cousin. Though since we are so close i sometimes rub her feet or give foot massages. she is cool with it and let's me do it. I want to know if this act is allowed with a cousin even if we're not married or in a relationship. i don't know if its sexual or anything. Is this okay?

    Thanks for you help
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    doorster's Avatar
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    Re: Help with issue with my cousin and I

    I wonder if threads in this section are no longer requiring approval before appearing, if they still do I wonder why this was approved without a comment from the approving MOD outlining the perceived benefits of approving such a thread (so that like of me will keep out of it)
    Last edited by doorster; 03-19-2009 at 08:26 PM.
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  4. #3
    Woodrow's Avatar Jewel of IB
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    Re: Help with issue with my cousin and I

    format_quote Originally Posted by doorster View Post
    I wonder if threads in this section are no longer requiring approval before appearing, if they still do I wonder why this was approved without a comment from the approving MOD outlining the perceived benefits of approving such a thread
    I can understand why the mod approved it. This is a valid issue for advice and support. Probably better for one of the gender rooms but many with a similar question do not have access to them.

    Now to address the problem.

    To the OP:

    You are not a Mahram to your cousin. All male/female contact with her must be avoided. If you have interst in her, speak to her father and view her as a potential spouse, not as a cousin.
    Help with issue with my cousin and I

    Herman 1 - Help with issue with my cousin and I

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    doorster's Avatar
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    Re: Help with issue with my cousin and I

    format_quote Originally Posted by Woodrow View Post
    I can understand why the mod approved it. This is a valid issue for advice and support. Probably better for one of the gender rooms but many with a similar question do not have access to them.

    Now to address the problem.

    To the OP:

    You are not a Mahram to your cousin. All male/female contact with her must be avoided. If you have interst in her, speak to her father and view her as a potential spouse, not as a cousin.
    is helpdesk forum broken?
    Last edited by doorster; 03-19-2009 at 08:31 PM.
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    GreyKode's Avatar Full Member
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    Re: Help with issue with my cousin and I

    LA HAWLA WALA QOWWATA ILLA BI ALLAH. what are you saying man?
    who are you kidding? A 13 year old kid can tell that what youre doing is plain haram.
    If you wanna be so close then how about you get married?
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    doorster's Avatar
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    Re: Help with issue with my cousin and I

    format_quote Originally Posted by GreyKode View Post
    LA HAWLA WALA QOWWATA ILLA BI ALLAH. what are you saying man?
    who are you kidding? A 13 year old kid can tell that what youre doing is plain haram.
    If you wanna be so close then how about you get married?


    that is why I thought hm... at 19? and I enquired by first reporting, then rep messaging an admin, finally posting
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    smoothcriminal's Avatar Limited Member
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    Re: Help with issue with my cousin and I

    well, if i knew it was haram i wouldn't be asking the question now would I?
    Obviously i didn't know. anyway, thanks for the advice.
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    Zahida's Avatar Full Member
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    Re: Help with issue with my cousin and I

    Easy tiger!!! We are all here to help, and no-one is having a go at you. The people above have just given their reaction to a question that you have asked and everyone is entitled to give his/her opinion whether you feel it is right or not...........

    Anyway little one rubbing your cousins feet, or any contact with her is NOT allowed in Islam. She is your cousin and you can marry her. I am also going to question why your cousin allows you close and personal like this also. Surely she should know that it is wrong also............

    You have been given some good advice little one and if the two of you like each other then you can marry her. Doorster has given you good guidance...........

    Help with issue with my cousin and I

    Zahida
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    smoothcriminal's Avatar Limited Member
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    Re: Help with issue with my cousin and I

    format_quote Originally Posted by Zahida View Post
    Easy tiger!!! We are all here to help, and no-one is having a go at you. The people above have just given their reaction to a question that you have asked and everyone is entitled to give his/her opinion whether you feel it is right or not...........

    Anyway little one rubbing your cousins feet, or any contact with her is NOT allowed in Islam. She is your cousin and you can marry her. I am also going to question why your cousin allows you close and personal like this also. Surely she should know that it is wrong also............

    You have been given some good advice little one and if the two of you like each other then you can marry her. Doorster has given you good guidance...........

    thanks, why she lets me i guess she feels comfortable around me. we known each other since we were young. But i don't have any feelings for her.
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    Zahida's Avatar Full Member
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    Re: Help with issue with my cousin and I

    Thats cool, you were younger then but now you have both grown up and are probably more aware of each other.......

    It's nice that you have an easygoing relationship with her, but Islam does give it's limits and guidelines........

    It's ok to ask questions when we are not sure about something, little one, don't be afraid and always be prepared for other peoples opinions and points of view too.................. I am OLD and i still ask questions when i am not sure of something...

    Take care and best of luck!
    format_quote Originally Posted by smoothcriminal View Post
    thanks, why she lets me i guess she feels comfortable around me. we known each other since we were young. But i don't have any feelings for her.
    Help with issue with my cousin and I

    Zahida
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  14. #11
    aadil77's Avatar Full Member
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    Re: Help with issue with my cousin and I

    format_quote Originally Posted by smoothcriminal View Post
    hi

    I have a cousin who is 22, and i am 19, male. We have known each other for our whole lives. we have been pretty close since we were young. I know marriage between first cousins is allowed but I personally would not marry my cousin. Though since we are so close i sometimes rub her feet or give foot massages. she is cool with it and let's me do it. I want to know if this act is allowed with a cousin even if we're not married or in a relationship. i don't know if its sexual or anything. Is this okay?

    Thanks for you help
    I don't get it, does she ask you to give her foot massages? Or do you just like giving them for some reason?

    I mean it would be kind of understandable if she gave you foot massages seeing as you are a man and are 3 years older than her
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    smoothcriminal's Avatar Limited Member
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    Re: Help with issue with my cousin and I

    I just like giving them. no i am younger than her
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    nebula's Avatar Full Member
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    Re: Help with issue with my cousin and I

    hey you know what give her a cake instead of a footmassage... or get her 1 of those water massagers lol nah joking

    emm bro i dnt think its allowed to have contact with her, ur non mahram to her even tho your her first cousion! because you can potentially marry him... some things feel so right but our soul is decieving us we gotta understand the logic behind some things...!! peace brudda
    Help with issue with my cousin and I

    Ittaqullah haythu ma kount!
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