I've had a very unpleasing past and am doing my best to forget about it. I just wish Allah(SWT) guides me the right way. I always look down upon myself that i am a very bad Muslim. I am born Muslim but what bothers me the most is that i WAS not educated enough to be fully committed to my religion. Recently, my brother is following Islam very strictly and doing as much as he can to please Allah(SWT) which i am very proud of. He always shows me the right way but i still feel discouraged..like i am not good enough. Lately, he will look at the way i dress(which i personally think is not bad but i would not say it is PERFECT either) and say Astakhfurallh under his breath...this really hurts me because he should be thankful that he is a man and allowed to go outside and meet with his friends and within that learn Islam the RIGHT way but i have no Muslim friends that i can ask for advice and help..the school i go to have no Muslim sisters that i can be friends with...there is not a close by masjid....so i always feel like i am all alone. He tells me to wear the hijab...and even when i want to soooo bad..i just cant do it..i hope Allah(SWT) forgives me for this and gives me some time. Subhanallah i love my religion and only Allah(SWT) knows what goes through my heart for not fulfilling his commands but...i kind of dont blame myself because i was a little girl..and never taught on a regular basis. Now, i really want to commit myself to every aspect of my religion. I would say that what my weakest point is my dress code..hijab...and pretty much it. I pray as much as i can although i should boost it up which i am working on shukr.
Any help or advice will be very appreciated. I just wish i had a Muslim friend to talk to about these things..like someone who practices Islam the right way and fulfills every command themselves. Don't get me wrong i am very grateful but i just wish some things were different.
Salaam sis, hope u are well!
my first advice to u is that whatever u do u should only do to please Allah SWT. no1 else, and definately not your brother. if u are praying sis, then maybe hijaab could be ur next step? im also about to observe the hijaab and i cant wait sis! i understand what u mean about not being around muslim sisters, it definately helps u if u are. i have muslims friends non which are practising thou so i kind of knw how u feel
jus do Dua sis to Allah SWT and ask him for his help and guidance
subhanAllaah i know it can be a huge struggle. I personally think wearing the hijaab and niqaab for sisters is harder then the beard for men, but inshaAllaah dont worry too much. There are many many sources online for your support sister, you can be like the awliyaah ullah (friends of Allaah) who have no one but Allaah besides them inshaAllaah you'll make it
i hope you start wearing the hijaab soon, once you start... you'll be amazed by how ALlaah helps you through it
inshaAllaah and with ramadan coming up what more perfect time?
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My tears testify that i have a heart
yet i feel me and shaytan never part
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May allah guide you to the best in sha allah sis
Okay it might be not your problem to have muslims friends or be well educated islamically, but sister it is not too late yet. you have the chance now to go on.
you can educate yourself by yourself since you really want to and have the intent to do so.
Read books or go to the Islamic Websites you will find any thing you can except. To be honest I increase my islamic knowledge greatly after start surfing the internet alhumdulilah even when I had a very well education when I was a little.
so you know now what you want, show your determination, throw everything behind your back and start your life all over again. You have the chance now by this coming Ramadhan and in sha allah it will be your beginning to a new life. Allah likes those who repenting and insha allah he will never let you down ......ever
btw, I will be more than glad to help you in anything I can.....you can PM me if you want and we might exchange our emails in sha allah if you need to
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a little help/advice would be appreciated
inshaAllaah you'll make it
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