How to we avoid attending Office parties containing Haraam activities ?

[anonymous]

Salaaam Alaikum

How to we diplomatically avoid attending Office parties containing Haraam activities like alcohol and dancing ? . The bosses have made it compulsory for all staff to attend and dont want us to plan leave on that day

I am planning to take an emergency leave on that day to avoid it but would like to know if there is a good reason I can give and escape attending this haraam party without resorting to giving lecture to these monsters about why alcohol, dancing is haraam as the office isnt the best place to start debating in heated arguments about sensitive subjects like religion and politics and it could threaten my job in the long run

Need your inputs on this , please !!

[Ummu Sufyaan]

Wa alaykum us-Salaam
couldn't you just explain to your boss that due to religious reasons you cannot attend. you dont need to get into details or in any type of debate but just give a brief explanation as to why you dont/cannot want to be there, so that they know why you were absent?

what about offer a kind of deal that if you dont attend, then you can make up extra hours here and there (i.e of your free time).

could you, in a kind but firm manner, tell your boss that you will be absent on that day...so dont give any options but just tell him that you cant make it. but that probably wont work since he's your boss and he would probably think its rude.

[tigerkhan]

^ agreed. we muslim should stand firmly on our islamic values and i hope as a human ur boss can understand this.
one my friend got job in Oil and Gas industry. they need to wear mask while of site and with beard this mask didn't get fit. and there are safety rule to shave beard. His boss asked him to shave. he gently make him understand that in Islam its not allowed. he replied many muslims dont have this so plz u ask some of ur scholar that its as afety requirement so ask for some relaxation. my friend say ok i will and next 2-3 days he daily reply that no1 scholar is giving me this permission and he continuously seek Allah SWT help during this time. the next day his boss say; ok, u dont shave and if anyone ask why u have beard u will tell them my boss had allowed this, talk to him, i am with u.

[anonymous]

Wa alaykum us-Salaam
couldn't you just explain to your boss that due to religious reasons you cannot attend. you dont need to get into details or in any type of debate but just give a brief explanation as to why you dont/cannot want to be there, so that they know why you were absent?

You dont get it , do you ? There are several non practising muslims at work who attend such parties and they will think i am lying.

I am basically asking for help to frame a lie to escape from attending the haraam activities which involves drinks and dancing with people .I could say this if i were in muslim country but i am not

As I understand Lies are allowed in order to bring reconcilliation among people

Sahih MuslimBook 032, Number 6303:

Humaid b. 'Abd al-Rahman b. 'Auf reported that his mother Umm Kulthum daughter of 'Uqba b. Abu Mu'ait, and she was one amongst the first emigrants who pledged allegiance to Allah's Apostle (may peace be upon him), as saying that she heard Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: A liar is not one who tries to bring reconciliation amongst people and speaks good (in order to avert dispute), or he conveys good. Ibn Shihab said he did not hear that exemption was granted in anything what the people speak as lie but in three cases: in battle, for bringing reconciliation amongst persons and the narration of the words of the husband to his wife, and the narration of the words of a wife to her husband (in a twisted form in order to bring reconciliation between them).



.

what about offer a kind of deal that if you dont attend, then you can make up extra hours here and there (i.e of your free time)..

Wont work , the sadists want us to attend at amy cost

[Hamza Asadullah]

You dont get it , do you ? There are several non practising muslims at work who attend such parties and they will think i am lying.

I am basically asking for help to frame a lie to escape from attending the haraam activities which involves drinks and dancing with people .I could say this if i were in muslim country but i am not

As I understand Lies are allowed in order to bring reconcilliation among people

Sahih MuslimBook 032, Number 6303:

Humaid b. 'Abd al-Rahman b. 'Auf reported that his mother Umm Kulthum daughter of 'Uqba b. Abu Mu'ait, and she was one amongst the first emigrants who pledged allegiance to Allah's Apostle (may peace be upon him), as saying that she heard Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: A liar is not one who tries to bring reconciliation amongst people and speaks good (in order to avert dispute), or he conveys good. Ibn Shihab said he did not hear that exemption was granted in anything what the people speak as lie but in three cases: in battle, for bringing reconciliation amongst persons and the narration of the words of the husband to his wife, and the narration of the words of a wife to her husband (in a twisted form in order to bring reconciliation between them).



.

Wont work , the sadists want us to attend at amy cost

Asalaamu Alaikum, you are quoting a hadith out of context. There is no need for you to lie to them. It is simply forbidden in Islam to attend such places. If your boss asks why the other Muslims are attending then simply say they are obviously not abiding by Islam teachings. Why would you need to go to such lengths when it is simple and clear that you do not need to attend such places.

I am also from the UK and and there are many practising Muslims in all positions who decline attending such places when they are offered to do so. It is not in your contract and we should not think that it would look "bad". How "bad" would it look in Allah's eyes? Are we more concerned about how bad it will look eyes of our bosses than to Allah? Who gave us the jobs we have? Allah or our boss?

Therefore you should not be so worried or concerned about stepping on anyones toes just for declining attending such a party. Surely this is a test for you. You should be proud and firm in what islam allows and disallows. Be proud of what Islam teaches rather than having to resort to lying to cover up what is essentially forbidden in Islam which is to attend such free mixing environments where there will be drink, free mixing and music.

So have a word with your boss and do not feel so compelled by pressure others are putting on you to attend. I understand organisations very well because i have worked in many and i know sometimes colleagues can pile on the pressure but i see this as a test and so it is upon you to be firm in not attending and making it clear that it is not permissable in your way of life.

You should not be concerned about what they may think because this is shaythan just wanting you to attend by making you paranoid that you will not be seen in a good light at your workplae but this is so untrur. if you are truthful to them and be firm in thios then they will respect that. You main priority should be to do whatever it takes to please Allah and refrain from anything which angers and displeases him.

And Allah knows best in all matters

[Ğħαrєєвαħ]

^ agreed. we muslim should stand firmly on our islamic values and i hope as a human ur boss can understand this.
one my friend got job in Oil and Gas industry. they need to wear mask while of site and with beard this mask didn't get fit. and there are safety rule to shave beard. His boss asked him to shave. he gently make him understand that in Islam its not allowed. he replied many muslims dont have this so plz u ask some of ur scholar that its as afety requirement so ask for some relaxation. my friend say ok i will and next 2-3 days he daily reply that no1 scholar is giving me this permission and he continuously seek Allah SWT help during this time. the next day his boss say; ok, u dont shave and if anyone ask why u have beard u will tell them my boss had allowed this, talk to him, i am with u.

Subhaan'Allaah

[Ğħαrєєвαħ]

Assalaamu Alaaykum

I completely agree with the above posters and their posts.

Do as what you are able to do and trust in Allaah, is not trust and faith required when you are enquiring about how to stay away from haraam?

Use what brother Tigerkhan said as an example.

There is no need for debates, you can tell your boss that you do not wish to take part in a situation wish you feel uncomfortable within therefore you wont be attending, he has to respect you for that as you are one of his workers as they cant force if you are not willing to go.

Doing something for the pleasure and sake of Allaah first and foremost, then Allaah makes it easy upon you, the person shouldnt fear what is about to come, it is only something Allaah has promised you, the tests.

may Allaah ease your situations and grant you the strength to continue doing what is good and stay away from the bad, Ameen

.. peace ..

[GuestFellow]

Well it should not be affecting your career development because office parties have nothing to do with work. Talk to your boss and say kindly that you cannot attend the party due to religious reason.

[anonymous]

There is no need for you to lie to them.

And why not ? Its is lying for a good cause of avoiding attending party and I was going to tell them i fell sick and avoid attending it .
Whats wrong with that ?

[Insaanah]

And why not ? Its is lying for a good cause of avoiding attending party and I was going to tell them i fell sick and avoid attending it .
Whats wrong with that ?

Look at it this way. This is one office party. Let's imagine you make an excuse or lie to get out of this one.

This probably won't be the only office party. There may be one later in the year, one next year etc. Let's say you think up some excuse for each one.

Soon it will be really obvious to them. They'll work out that you're never there and that something always miraculously happens that you can't be there, and that will make you look anti-social/unreliable. The more you don't attend, the more pressure your boss will put on you to attend, because you didn't attend previous ones. And you'll find yourself in a hole that you then can't dig yourself out of. If you then tell him why, he'll say why didn't you just say so in the first place, and did you lie on the occasions before? That will threaten your job far more than being truthful from the start.

There are several non practising muslims at work who attend such parties and they will think i am lying.

Let's say at some point another practising Muslim joins the staff of your office. He gets told by the bosses to go to one of these parties, but says he can't due to religious reasons. The boss says to him, but the other Muslims never objected, but he stays firm and explains as below. After that, they don't ask him to the parties but continue to ask you and the other Muslims. Imagine that that Muslim considers you to be non-practising because your boss says you never objected. And imagine if that was the first time that your boss heard about Muslims not attending such things, from the other Muslim in your office. In effect he has learnt something about Islam, whether he likes that thing he learnt or not, from the other Muslim in your office. How bad will you feel inside? You'll still get asked to these parties and still have to lie, while the other Muslim enjoys peace of mind knowing that he's doing the right thing.

Nip this in the bud now. Tell him that you feel uncomfortable in areas with drinking and dancing and the like, and that Muslims should avoid such atmospheres. If they ask why, and you don't want to go into details, just say it's for religious reasons, or Islamically it's not allowed, or that it's the command of God and His Prophet. Or that when something is forbidden in Islam, any avenues that might lead to that thing are also forbidden.

I know this is not easy thing to say to a boss in some work environments, but ask Allah to make it easy for you and to help you in something you are doing for His sake.

May Allah help you and keep you steadfast, ameen.

[GuestFellow]

And why not ? Its is lying for a good cause of avoiding attending party and I was going to tell them i fell sick and avoid attending it .
Whats wrong with that ?

Lying is only a temporary solution. There might be more parties and it will become obvious you are lying if you continue to avoid them.

[Cabdullahi]

just tell them you have diarrhoea

[Ummu Sufyaan]

You dont get it , do you ? There are several non practising muslims at work who attend such parties and they will think i am lying.

your very welcome brother, im glad i could be of help.

[anonymous]

Look at it this way. This is one office party. Let's imagine you make an excuse or lie to get out of this one.

This probably won't be the only office party. There may be one later in the year, one next year etc. Let's say you think up some excuse for each one.

Soon it will be really obvious to them. They'll work out that you're never there and that something always miraculously happens that you can't be there, and that will make you look anti-social/unreliable. The more you don't attend, the more pressure your boss will put on you to attend, because you didn't attend previous ones. And you'll find yourself in a hole that you then can't dig yourself out of. If you then tell him why, he'll say why didn't you just say so in the first place, and did you lie on the occasions before? That will threaten your job far more than being truthful from the start.


Let's say at some point another practising Muslim joins the staff of your office. He gets told by the bosses to go to one of these parties, but says he can't due to religious reasons. The boss says to him, but the other Muslims never objected, but he stays firm and explains as below. After that, they don't ask him to the parties but continue to ask you and the other Muslims. Imagine that that Muslim considers you to be non-practising because your boss says you never objected. And imagine if that was the first time that your boss heard about Muslims not attending such things, from the other Muslim in your office. In effect he has learnt something about Islam, whether he likes that thing he learnt or not, from the other Muslim in your office. How bad will you feel inside? You'll still get asked to these parties and still have to lie, while the other Muslim enjoys peace of mind knowing that he's doing the right thing.

Nip this in the bud now. Tell him that you feel uncomfortable in areas with drinking and dancing and the like, and that Muslims should avoid such atmospheres. If they ask why, and you don't want to go into details, just say it's for religious reasons, or Islamically it's not allowed, or that it's the command of God and His Prophet. Or that when something is forbidden in Islam, any avenues that might lead to that thing are also forbidden.

I know this is not easy thing to say to a boss in some work environments, but ask Allah to make it easy for you and to help you in something you are doing for His sake.

May Allah help you and keep you steadfast, ameen.

You make a lot of good points . But the problem is , I had already attended the office party last year. , but I was not aware that it involved drinking and dancing. and I didnt drink and dance with them last time and i looked like an anti-social anti element in front of all the others . Hence i feel i can escape this time using diarrohea as an exuse as suggested by bro Abullahi since i attended it last time

I dont know how i can avoid future parties . maybe I should try written permisson from Higher Management to be exempted from Parties so that would protect me from the harassment of these dictator bosses .I have just got couple of days to go till that haraam party and time is too short to get such the written permission .

[Musaafirah]

Seriously.
The best way to avoid such a situation is to tell them that you won't go for religious reasons.
When I first started working, I'd get invited to all these do's, but each time I explained that I won't attend because no doubt they'd have alcohol etc.
First few times, they'd always ask me..
After a while though, they no longer ask!
Another muslim girl has started working here, and Masha'allah, they don't bug her like they did me.

[Woodrow]

You dont get it , do you ? There are several non practising muslims at work who attend such parties and they will think i am lying.

I am basically asking for help to frame a lie to escape from attending the haraam activities which involves drinks and dancing with people .I could say this if i were in muslim country but i am not

As I understand Lies are allowed in order to bring reconcilliation among people

Sahih MuslimBook 032, Number 6303:

Humaid b. 'Abd al-Rahman b. 'Auf reported that his mother Umm Kulthum daughter of 'Uqba b. Abu Mu'ait, and she was one amongst the first emigrants who pledged allegiance to Allah's Apostle (may peace be upon him), as saying that she heard Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: A liar is not one who tries to bring reconciliation amongst people and speaks good (in order to avert dispute), or he conveys good. Ibn Shihab said he did not hear that exemption was granted in anything what the people speak as lie but in three cases: in battle, for bringing reconciliation amongst persons and the narration of the words of the husband to his wife, and the narration of the words of a wife to her husband (in a twisted form in order to bring reconciliation between them).

.

Wont work , the sadists want us to attend at amy cost

I hope I am misunderstanding. But it seems that you are asking for help in telling a lie because you fear the Truth would sound like a lie.

[GuestFellow]

I hope I am misunderstanding. But it seems that you are asking for help in telling a lie because you fear the Truth would sound like a lie.

Salaam,

That is what I'm thinking. Quite a bizarre situation to be in.