I have a brother of 17 years old who has lost his track and has started taking drugs. I have tried my best to help him out but it just doesn't work. I always pray for him and remember him in every prayer I make. I am responsible for him as we do not have parents and we both live alone in the UK. Whenever I pray alot for him, and weep in my prayers, those days, the smell of weed turns out to be very strong and spreads accross the whole house. He has also started lying.
He was an A* student in Year 10, and now, after finishing GCSEs, he ended up with only 4 GCSEs when he could have scored way more. I have tried nearly every resort, I used to beat him up before, but now, he doesn't really care and says "beat me" and "kill me" but he never accepts his mistakes.
I have also tried taking him to the doctors, but without him admitting it and willing to quit, the doctor is not ready to do any tests on him. I have also considered taking him to a rehabilitation center but am worried that the culture they provide in the rehabs, especially in the UK, USA would worsen his case as they in some way tend to brainwash people's brains (e.g.rehab near midlands, UK). I want him to quit this and come back on track as I have been weeping for the past 2 years about this and nothing has happened which could change him. Taking him there, or referring him would end his life as he is in college and
I have also tried treating him with love and care at home. He acts normally for a few days, then goes out and takes the same disgusting thing again. He knows all the facts about drugs and smoking but he simply doesn't care. He had a debt of a minimum of £1500 in May 2008 which I paid off so that he could start a new life in a good way, but that did not happen either.
Everytime I don't pray to Allah, he comes home with that smell. When I pray alot to Allah, he still comes home with that smell. A Talisman was also made for him from India, but had no effect.
Please advise me what I should do, I can't even make him leave college and take him to India as I am not financially stable nor can I risk his career and life. The goverment in the UK says that if someone wants to quit, they would help, but the way they help, people hardly recover and also secretly keep a record of this in their database for future.
I beg to advise me what I should do as my imaan is now starting to shake now even though am tryin my level best to keep faith.I am tryin my best to treat him with love and care without touching him and just trying to make him understand, but he thinks I talk to much now. Please help me bring my brother back to the right track.
Is it marijuana? I was a stoner. It's very hard to convince anyone to quit pot as it has no ill effects, apart from temporary lethargy. Allah (SWT) made it for a lot of medical purposes, and I honestly believe that it should be left at that.
You're doing well. Just don't try too hard. He'll stop, inshallah.
Could you suggest what else I could do to help? I can't stop him from goin out as if I do so, he still runs out, and returns home at 3 or 4 in the morning.
Brother i hope you got my msg......... Rehab is not always a bad thing. Trust me on this one and you will find the info i gave you to be sound advice..............ok......... There are also Islamic Organisations that help you deal with this kind of thing. I found some numbers in the Muslim Directory which you should have a copy of at your local Masjid/Libary, I am just so sorry i don't have it at hand at the moment...........
Salam Zahida baji, I got your message, I know that the doctor cannot refuse, but when I took him to our GP, he said that since my little brother is no longer 16, its upto the patient if he wants to get treated. If my little brother agrees, then he can be treated, but so far, he denys that he even takes it when he had admitted it to other member in the family when on holiday, and have noticed all the symtoms of a person taking drugs i.e the eyes, the body language, the smell, the way they walk, the way they talk, etc.
Well, like I said, pot/weed/marijuana/cannabis is not something to worry about. Tobacco, yes. Tobacco is a dangerous drug. Not pot.
Rehab for pot is hilarious!!! Pot is only mentally addictive (even chocolate is mentally addictive).
Please note that there's a lot of difference between non-addictive soft drugs like Cannabis, Extasy, MDMA, LSD, etc, and addictive hard drugs like heroin, cocaine, etc. Lots of difference. Of all the cannabis users I've met throughout my life, less than 5% tried hard drugs, most of them tried cocaine only once or a few times. Only one I know of tried opium and opiates like heroin.
1/3rd of my class in college smokes cannabis.
In Jamaica, 70% of the population smokes pot thrice daily. In Cyprus, 20-25% of the population. In Egypt, 1 out of 7 people. They're all fine. Nothing to worry about. The cannabis-schizophrenia link has been debunked many times, with the theory that lack of omega-3-fatty acids and excessive gluten/casein being responsible being more feasible.
All you can do is pray and hope he gets bored and doesn't try something new.
I am not really sure, most of the time it smells like weed as one of my friends made me smell weed when I requested him. I am not well aware of drugs.
It sounds like he's smoking pot. It's a phase that some teenagers go through, and, although there are serious health risks associated with long-term use, in all probability he'll grow out of it, like The Khan did.
What can you do to help him to quit? Very difficult. There is a very pervasive myth that cannabis is harmless, and users will often get defensive. Many of them, however, simply do not know about the harm that smoking it does to the lungs (a joint is even more harmful than a cigarette). Essentially, you shouldn't smoke cannabis for the same reason that you shouldn't smoke at all.
czgibson, but cannabis is illegal aswell, do you think if I sent him back to India to my grandparents during summer holidays where they could consult a doctor there? or let him go there and keep him in good company in a different enviroment where it would be hard for him to get such drugs? If so, how long do you reckon I should let him stay there for? I was thinking about 3 months as I would be able to get a leave from college a month early and bring him back in september?
The problem is, he does not stay home, and keeps going out to do this thing, usually everyday. Due to this, its affected the family atmosphere as he is much more aggressive and even if you ask him to come home early, you never know what he could do. If I talk to him in a slightly aggressive tone if he turns up home at 3 in the morning, he would go back out and come home after an hour, and he doesn't care about exposing anything in public, i.e he would scream and ask me to leave him and everyhint, and you know the law in UK, if someone in my neighbourhood complains, I could be done, even if my brother doesn't want me to.
Well, like I said, pot/weed/marijuana/cannabis is not something to worry about. Tobacco, yes. Tobacco is a dangerous drug. Not pot.
Rehab for pot is hilarious!!! Pot is only mentally addictive (even chocolate is mentally addictive).
Please note that there's a lot of difference between non-addictive soft drugs like Cannabis, Extasy, MDMA, LSD, etc, and addictive hard drugs like heroin, cocaine, etc. Lots of difference. Of all the cannabis users I've met throughout my life, less than 5% tried hard drugs, most of them tried cocaine only once or a few times. Only one I know of tried opium and opiates like heroin.
1/3rd of my class in college smokes cannabis.
In Jamaica, 70% of the population smokes pot thrice daily. In Cyprus, 20-25% of the population. In Egypt, 1 out of 7 people. They're all fine. Nothing to worry about. The cannabis-schizophrenia link has been debunked many times, with the theory that lack of omega-3-fatty acids and excessive gluten/casein being responsible being more feasible.
All you can do is pray and hope he gets bored and doesn't try something new.
bro how can u say its nothing to worry about? Just because so many people do it does not make it right?? Its haram! Thats the main thing.
As for the thread opener, try talking to your brother all the time, about the effects of cannabis! Tell him that it could mess up his life, he could become dependent on it, scare him by telling him u tell his parents. Try anything u can akhee, but most importantly keeep on doing ur duas!
Cannabis is not as harmless as people think it is, it can cause psychoses to certain people. So do anything in ur power to stop him, however not by force! Because at his age he feels he is dependent and can do what ever he feels like, esp when ur parents are not around.
All i can do akhee is pray for you and ur brother, that Allah eases ur path!
Getting your brother to talk to a doctor would be a good move. I don't know how you would do this, but they could explain the dangers associated with whatever he's taking. As it already seems to have affected his eduaction, it's clearly not a good thing for him.
The Khan is right to point out the distinction between addictive and non-addictive drugs. If you have a heroin user on your hands, that is a much more serious problem than a cannabis user; however, all drugs are harmful to a greater or lesser degree.
I have tried encouraging him to talk to us, talk to the doctor, the imam at any masjid and some family friends. But he denies talking to anyone about this.
Should I seek a source of law other than God, when it is He Who has sent down unto you the Book (Qur'an) fully explained? And those whom We have given them the Book know that it has been sent down from the Lord with truth, so be not of those in doubt.
I have tried encouraging him to talk to us, talk to the doctor, the imam at any masjid and some family friends. But he denies talking to anyone about this.
He is probably scared to talk about it because he secretly feels guilty about it. Perhaps you could engineer the situation in the following way:
Talk to a doctor about it, and get them to agree to see your brother.
Get your brother to go for a routine medical checkup. Or, next time he's ill (with anything that could need a doctor's help), take him to the same doctor.
The doctor should have no difficulty in bringing up the topic of smoking, as it's the number one risk factor for many, many illnesses. The doctor could then present the risks associated with drug use in a clear and factual way. It's one of the many things that doctors are very good at.
Khanji, his behaviour has completely changed after he started taking these things, he stole money and the matter has got quite worse at the moment.
Also, theres a problem as it is illegal in the UK, if he gets caught in possession or in his tests, he would be facing a criminal record.
That's bad... it's true that it's illegal in the UK, but there's been a big change ever since its status was brought down from Class C to Class D. As far as I know, arrests for users is rare.
I wonder why he's stealing... Pot users usually don't steal.
do you think if I sent him back to India to my grandparents during summer holidays where they could consult a doctor there?
Well, it's much much much cheaper here. While a gram of skunk costs 20 pounds there, 12 grams of mid-grade pot costs Rs 200 (2.5 pounds) here. And that's enough to last at least a fortnight, depending on how much he smokes...
I wouldn't recommend you send him here.
format_quote Originally Posted by Mikayeel
bro how can u say its nothing to worry about? Just because so many people do it does not make it right?? Its haram! Thats the main thing.
Being a guy who's tried pot as well as alcohol, I personally see no reason why pot should be considered haraam. It has its uses. Its effects are completely the opposite of alcohol. I can understand every reason why alcohol, opium, cocaine, etc, should be considered haraam. Not pot.
But yes, true, it's not good to consume it except for medical purposes.
Brother ashfaq1012003, I would recommend you just continue to remain calm about it, and don't force him to make a decision. As long as he's not going to do hard drugs, he'll wean off eventually. Most pot users are been-there, done-that people.
Yes, that could very much likely be possible. I could ask one of the other GPs to try and send a letter home for a checkup as my brother has not gone to the doctor in the last 3 years even when he gets ill, but if the doctor could send a letter home stating that my brother needs to have regular checkups, that could do the trick in a way. And if the doctor can convince him. As I said, he tends to understand everything and behaves normally for a day or two, but after that, he loses the track, then I have to have another talk with him about it. He thinks that this is the only thing that I would do, so, he tends to listen and ignore it mostly.
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Brother i hope you got my msg......... Rehab is not always a bad thing. Trust me on this one and you will find the info i gave you to be sound advice..............ok......... There are also Islamic Organisations that help you deal with this kind of thing. I found some numbers in the Muslim Directory which you should have a copy of at your local Masjid/Libary, I am just so sorry i don't have it at hand at the moment...........
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