brothers!

[AnonymousPoster]

my twin brother is always getting into fights! i dont know whats wrong with him, lately he takes weed and i think some other drugs, he has a girlfriend who i cant stand. i have five older brothers who werent like this, mashallh they all have gone to uni (or at uni) but i doubt my twin will go. i'm the only girl and looks like the only one close to him. he told me once taht he felt neglected because my dads a lawyer and is always abroad and doesnt spend too much time with him and feels like a failure in his eyes! i told him its not true but he just really hard to get through! the other day he had a fight, with this lad which had to go into intensive care. my others bruvs were mad, he then started giving them the lip! my dad when he found out gave him a right lecture on the phone and its funny cause he doesnt say anything back to him! i love him soo much and hate it when everyone shouts at him, i'm also worried that other gangs of boys might beat him up! is there anyway i can help do you think?

[Kittygyal]

god knows i dunno :'( my brother is like that too he is 24 years old! so is my BF like that even though he doesn't care about Islam he is a muslim . i duun i don't care God knows so ask him :'(

[Woodrow]

First and foremost. You are not the cause of your brother's short comings.



Now with that said keep in mind none of us is strong enough to accept the responsibilities of another person. Your brother is the only person accountable for his actions. There is nothing you can do to lead him on the right path unless he chooses to follow. You can not grow up for him.

What you can do is pray for him. Then pray for your self. He needs to learn to accept blame for his actions. He is on a self distructive trail intended to hurt the people closest to him. He is striking out in a cowardly fashion by being able to place his anger as the result of out side influences. He is living a world of no responsibility and wants everything to be the result of other peoples dicissions. this is why it is so important to pray from him. Only Allah(swt) can awaken him from his dream world. Now for your self what you can do is lead by example, not words. Stick to your belief and pray often. You need the prayers to have the strength to set the example and also to avoid the temptation of enabling him with pity and material help, when he falls on his face.

[glo]

Hi anonymous

It is hard to see someone you love walk on the wrong path!
It is easy to feel that sense of responsibility and to think 'If only I said the right thing, or did the right thing, I could change this person.'
But we cannot be God - and we most certainly aren't meant to try!

I agree with Woodrow. Continue in your own faith, pray and set a good example. Be strong in your faith, don't bow to the temptations of your brother's lifestyle.
If he does wrong, gently correct him, forgive him, and love him anyway!

Chances are, he is at an age, when he is working through stuff, trying to find his own identity, feeling inferior and looking for strength and guidance - perhaps in the wrong places.
Pray and trust that eventually his search will bring him onto the right path. You cannot make that decision for him.

Lucky boy, to have a loving and caring sister like you!!

Peace.