Please help- i met a muslim guy a few years ago and ever since we met we wanted to get married, we have always had the right intentions and have done the ishtikara which came out positve, after a year and a half of my family knowing, things got moving slowly, the guy lives with his brother and mum and his dad has split up from mum. now my dad did some research and found that his dad did some bad things and for that reason i cannot marry him because of family pride, they say that it was a good thing they found out now, but is that right? the guy is mashallah so decent and so is his family, but all because of what his dad did in the past it cant happen? can anyone help us out, we have been reading as much as we can, keeping faith in allah tallah and hoping my family soften, can anybody tell us what we can do? or suggest anything we can read, i dont want to go against my family and i would never do that, but how can i leave something i know that can make me happy and wanting to lead a simple islamic way of life together?
Re: Please help - marriage dillema - advice needed
found that his dad did some bad things and for that reason i cannot marry him because of family pride, they say that it was a good thing they found out now, but is that right?
It's not right sis. The son isn't responsible for his father's actions and then those being yonks ago.
Allah swt, says in the Qur'an:
“Every soul draws the meed of its acts on none but itself: no bearer of burdens can bear bear the burden of another.” (Quran 6:164)
Meaning:
Each human being will be held responsible for his own sins. Father is not responsible for son’s sins and neither is the son responsible for father’s sins.
gently explain this to your parents and also that it isn't a basis to refuse a proposal. do make duaa to Allah to assist you in making them understand.
May Allah grant your desire if its good for you ~ ameen
Re: Please help - marriage dillema - advice needed
You should get your parents to find out more about the brother you want to marry. May be they will realize how good he is for you and ignore the facts concerning his father
Re: Please help - marriage dillema - advice needed
yeh you are right life is crap, but because it has only kicked off couple of days ago, me and him are reading as much as possible and not losing himat and inshallah Allah swt will guide us in the right path, we have always had clean intentions towards each other but punjabi parents hey what can you do??? i feel so much better knowing that i am not wrong, i juat hope their pride doesnt mess up peoples lives, his mum has mashallah been so supportive and has not given up either, i just hope my family realise
Re: Please help - marriage dillema - advice needed
So what if the father did bad sins in the past he doesn't live with them now. Is the brother older than him? If so tell your father that his older bro isn't effected from his fathers legacy so why should he be? Anyway when did the divource occur when he was small or...?
Re: Please help - marriage dillema - advice needed
format_quote Originally Posted by AnonymousGender
Please help- i met a muslim guy a few years ago and ever since we met we wanted to get married, we have always had the right intentions and have done the ishtikara which came out positve, after a year and a half of my family knowing, things got moving slowly, the guy lives with his brother and mum and his dad has split up from mum. now my dad did some research and found that his dad did some bad things and for that reason i cannot marry him because of family pride, they say that it was a good thing they found out now, but is that right? the guy is mashallah so decent and so is his family, but all because of what his dad did in the past it cant happen? can anyone help us out, we have been reading as much as we can, keeping faith in allah tallah and hoping my family soften, can anybody tell us what we can do? or suggest anything we can read, i dont want to go against my family and i would never do that, but how can i leave something i know that can make me happy and wanting to lead a simple islamic way of life together?
Sister inshallah you both will find peace! Unfortunaely family pride seems to always get in the way of possible happiness. I wouldn't let your families pride lead you away from your own happiness, it is for god you seek to please not your family, although approval from family is always wanted and accepted, but not always there. It's hard to go against those who have raised you, but like a few others have stated your futher husband isn't accountable for someone else's actions only for his own.
Example: Say that your mother and father found a man that everyone respected, he was well known, was finacialy well off, but after your marriage things turn out not so wonderful, do you blame his parents? After all it was them who raised him. Of course not.
Your futher husband, inshallah, will not be labled a bad person just merely because of something his father did or still does for that matter, will he always be held reasponsible for what his father does? I hope not
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