I am a new member to the forum and I really didn't want to introduce myself with such a thread but anyhow.
What is the point of unrequited love? I have been in this situation for nearly five years and it has done more harm than good. It has changed me to become a far worse person that I was.
What does Islam say about love and unrequited love.
My love for him was pure but it never worked out. Although his family (and probably he too desired it but I said no to their proposal).
I have asked several people and they have said that God puts love in peoples hearts and thats how it develops. But why does love grow for someone you will never have.
I have performed Istikhara for seven days and I didn't get a clear answer. I had recurring dreams about the person and marriage. In one dream I was engaged and in the next I wasn't.
Why did you say no? Is it because you dont feel anything for him?
Have you talked to him, spent time with him (with someone present of course)
Dont stress too much about it, in fact put it out of your mind. (when you think about something too much, you dream about it so you wont be able to tell if the dream is your answer or your thoughts infiltrating your dreams.) Then do Istikhara again. Then wait for your answer, which may come in a dream or in another form. Sometimes its comes just as a very very strong feeling of going one way or another.
Just to help forum members unrequited love means " love that is not openly reciprocated, even though reciprocation is usually deeply desired. The beloved may or may not be aware of the admirer's deep affections. The Merrriam Webster Online Dictionary defines unrequited as; "not reciprocated or returned in kind."" ( i didn't knew what it was so i wikied )
So anyway sister.You have got some dreams after istikhara , So try to talk to a knowledgable person what those dreams might infer. Remember istikhara necessarily doesn't show a sign.
[QUOTE]If do not remember any dream or do not see any colors then follow your heart. Whatever intention grows stronger in your heart regarding your targated work follow it after seven days of Istakhara.[/QUOTE]
Allah puts the love but shayytan takes it away by putting negative thoughts through your mind because he dose not want you to get married thats how it all works. ive seen sisters being ready for marriage after finding somebody but the next minute all of a sudden they have changed there mind. its all the shayytans work.
I have talked to him (with people present) but obviously not about anything personal, it was just a conversation about studies and all.
I rejected his proposal because firstly there is a financial divide amongst us and due to them being better off relative to us, I knew my mum wouldn't approve. Secondly and the most important was that he had a number of female friends. I don't mind him having female company but I know what it is like with young people and the proximity of their friendships. People usually cross the line and so did he.
He is religious to some extent bt not with these things. I made this clear to his family and I think probably he wasn't ready to take the transition of leaving his female company and settling with just one.
I really don't know what to do because i am in a complete state of confusion, i know all this about him but the feeling doesnt go away.
and oh yeah...someone from the forum sent me a message regarding a person giving a taweez...excuse my ignorance but my i have very little islamic knowledge with regards to taweez...so i dont know how to respond to that.
could you clarify what you mean about taweez? a person gave you a taweez to wear? or do you mean having taweez done upon a person without their knowledge so they experience things such as excessive love?
To answer your question, I think we fall in love cos we let ourselves fall in love as it comes natural to us. This is why you have to be careful who you let yourself fall in love with and make sure it's a person who you can marry. Ideally you wouldn't fall in love outside of marriage, you'd get married and then fall in love after.
before marriage you just ask questions to determine if that person is right for you. If you fall in love outside of marriage it's hard if you don't end up marrying that person cos you feel as if you gave yourself to them and devoted yourself to them, then when they don't marry you, the feeling is awful, your just left with the question "what was it all for?"
I think that's why relationships outside of marriage aren't allowed cos your left with a life time of hurt if things don't work out
Last edited by Salahudeen; 02-07-2010 at 12:13 AM.
“Who said that guidance requires there to be someone accompanying you"
sometimes taweeze's can have magic attached to them, like there's taweeze's that call upon jinns. You defintely wanna stay away from them as they can lead to shirk.
I have experience with taweeze's and they don't bring about any benefit, in some situations they made the circumstances more worse and we regretted ever getting a taweez.
what exactly is your problem sister that you would seek a taweez for? is it to do with not being able to forget about this man?
“Who said that guidance requires there to be someone accompanying you"
A taweez made for you to wear to help with such problems.
Well this is what i got in the private message along with an email id.
Tell that person who sent you information on how to get a taweez that its haram and a piece of square paper is just a square piece of paper only Allah can help you.
If a potential sister had guy friends and marriage materialised the chance of being heartbroken would be enormous so i stand by your decision of rejecting this guy
Tell that person who sent you information on how to get a taweez that its haram and a piece of square paper is just a square piece of paper only Allah can help you.
If a potential sister had guy friends and marriage materialised the chance of being heartbroken would be enormous so i stand by your decision of rejecting this guy
masha Allah!
I agree, what person whants a spouse who is friends with the opposite gender, firstly he's showing disobediance to Allah and secondaly what if an affair occurs between them.
and you would get constant whispers from shaytaan playing with your head that there is something going on between him and those lady friends.
As bro abdullahi said "masha Allah!" you rejected him for a valid reason, you deserve some 1 praticing and like minded. make sure you hold onto those values that you possesse.
Last edited by Salahudeen; 02-07-2010 at 12:19 AM.
“Who said that guidance requires there to be someone accompanying you"
That Allah has someone better in mind for you - just wait for the right person and the right time. At the time of the 'heartbreak', it may seem like you cannot live anymore, that you want to die, that this world isn't worth living, but then Allah blesses you with something that is out of this world. SubhanAllah. Never lose faith in Allah. (I am speaking from experience, because I myself have gone through a lot of pain and bad circumstances).
I am a new member to the forum and I really didn't want to introduce myself with such a thread but anyhow.
What is the point of unrequited love? I have been in this situation for nearly five years and it has done more harm than good. It has changed me to become a far worse person that I was. What does Islam say about love and unrequited love.My love for him was pure but it never worked out. Although his family (and probably he too desired it but I said no to their proposal). I have asked several people and they have said that God puts love in peoples hearts and thats how it develops. But why does love grow for someone you will never have. I have performed Istikhara for seven days and I didn't get a clear answer. I had recurring dreams about the person and marriage. In one dream I was engaged and in the next I wasn't. Thank you for your responses in advance
You live in a wrong of your own. In Islam, there is no prayer, amulet or incantation to know the unseen, which is known to Allah alone. The so-called istikhara salah is nothing but two-rakhah optional salah. Yes, you may like to perform as much optional salah as you can for pleasure of Allah and reward from Him. But there is no way to know the the unseen in Islam through any salah. The methods prescribed in different books are simply fictional invention of misguided or misconceived scholars.
Anyway, there is no doubt that you are a psychic patient. So, it will be advisable for you to consult a psychiatrist immediately to get rid of your delirium of the unrequited love.
I have talked to him (with people present) but obviously not about anything personal, it was just a conversation about studies and all.
I rejected his proposal because firstly there is a financial divide amongst us and due to them being better off relative to us, I knew my mum wouldn't approve. Secondly and the most important was that he had a number of female friends. I don't mind him having female company but I know what it is like with young people and the proximity of their friendships. People usually cross the line and so did he.
He is religious to some extent bt not with these things. I made this clear to his family and I think probably he wasn't ready to take the transition of leaving his female company and settling with just one.
.
It appears you already know what to do. I see this because of the statements i bolded. You should say no if you have those reasons and believe them to be solid. You should also make your mind up as soon as possible as it is cruel to drag anyone along because you keep going back and forth. Hope you make the right choice.
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