Respecting parents?

[AnonymousPoster]

I know Allah says to respect our parents, but what are you supposed to do when you have a father who . . .

Doesn't pray, fast, . . .
Doesn't believen in Islam, Allah, Prophet (pbuh) . . .
Is always mad and screaming at his wife and children . . .
Beats his wife and children . . .
Constantly cursing . . .
Curses and makes fun of his wife and children when they're praying . . .
Always tries to upset them . . .
Doesn't support them financially . . .
Puts everyone else first before his wife and children . . .
Constantly makes fun of Islam be cause he knows it upsets his wife and children . . .
Basically makes life a living hell for his wife and children

[Umm Hurairah]

Asalaamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatu,

"But if they (your parents) strive with you to make you join in worship with Me others that of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not, but behave with them in the world kindly, and follow the path of him who turns to Me in repentance and in obedience. Then to Me will be your return, and I shall tell you what you used to do." [31:15]

Ibn 'Abbas said, "If any Muslim obeys Allah regarding his parents, Allah will open two gates of the Garden for him. If there is only one parent, then one gate will be opened. If one of them is angry, then Allah will not be pleased with him until that parent is pleased with him." He was asked, "Even if they wrong him?" "Even if they wrong him" he replied." [Al-Bukhari]

Abu'd-Darda' said, "The Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, recommended nine things to me: 'Do not associate anything with Allah, even if you are cut to pieces or burned. Do not abandon a prescribed prayer deliberately. Anyone who abandons it will forfeit Allah's protection. Do not drink wine - it is the key to every evil. Obey your parents. If they command you to abandon your worldly possessions, then leave them for them. Do not contend with those in power, even if you think that you are in the right. Do not run away from the army when it is advances, even if you are killed while your companions run away. Spend on your wife out of your means. Do not raise a stick against your wife. Cause your family to fear Allah, the Almighty and Exalted.'" [Al-Bukhari]

May Allah make it easier for the family and may Allah give them sabr. Ameen Thuma Ameen.

[qassy!]

I know Allah says to respect our parents, but what are you supposed to do when you have a father who . . .


Is always mad and screaming at his wife and children . . .
Beats his wife and children . . .

Teach him a leasson
-
how old are the children?

[snakelegs]

well, he doesn't really sound like he is worthy of respect.
even islamically, i don't think you are bound to respect your parent if they try to interfere/prevent you from practicing your religion.
if he is not supporting the family financially, maybe your mother should throw him out? it sounds like he is making life intolerable for everyone and bringing benefit to no one.

[IbnAbdulHakim]

i kno someone in that situation and its so hard to help them...
i offered the mother all kinds of support, but she thinks if she leaves her husband there will be a stigma on her.


Best thing is pray for your father and do everything to try and change him... what else can you do?!

lifes a test, i hope you pass !!


Assalamu Alaikum

[------]

ur not supposed to listen to ur parents if they stop u from doing something Islamic, or following Islam.

[youngsister]

salam
i'm sorry to hear dat. it must be bit of a burden, living with someone like dat. but still, no matter what he has done as a muslim and person is between him and Allah. i know some things he did must have been horriable and harsh but he is still ur father and u still have to try to repect him and live with him. u no, the prophet had someone like dat in his life, a relative [i forgot who and i dont want to make a mistake] who was really mean to him, really horriable but the prophet was still nice to him! and give him so much repect [even if the person might have not really derserved it] but u as a muslim have to be nice to everyone, especialy ur parents. i know its hard but learn from our prophet's example and still give repect at least for Allah's sake. just be strong and inshalla u will get reward for ur efforts.