Selam aleykum,
It's sad to hear people are so snobbish and have huge egos that it makes people dislike them. It's a bad characteristic.
But very old people... You can't really be too angry at them, I mean, their lives are near its end and one kind of rather wants to make dua for them. If the old relatives never visit you, try as much as you can to invite them over, but don't let the old by themselves. They like company most of the time, although sometimes they deny it.
As far as I know, the younger should greet the elder first. But always remember, the one who takes initiative first is always in a better position, inshaAllah. And returning a greeting is obligatory upon Muslims.
Imam Bukhari and Muslim reported that the Prophet Mohammad (S.A.W.) said, "A rider should greet a pedestrian, a pedestrian should greet one who is sitting, and a small party should greet a large party, a younger should greet an elder one."
Hadith - Sahih Bukhari 8.251, Narrated Abu Hurayrah
Allah's Apostle said, "The riding one should greet the walking one, and the walking one should greet the sitting one, and the small number of persons should greet the large number of persons."
Hadith - Malik's Muwatta Book 53, Number 53.1.1
Yahya related to me from Malik from Zayd ibn Aslam that the Messenger of Allah, said, "The one riding greets the one walking, and when one of a group of people gives a greeting, it is enough for all of them."
The person coming or going, should first offer the salutation (salaams):
Hadith - Abu Dawood 5189, Narrated Abu Hurayrah
The Prophet said: When one of you comes to an assembly, he should give a salutation and if he feels inclined to get up, he should give a salutation, for the former is not more of a duty than the latter.
The pious muslims is anxious to give salaams first
Hadith - Abu Dawood 5178, Narrated Abu Umamah
The Prophet said: Those who are nearest to Allah are they who are first to give a salutation.
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