Recently I came across a cousin (Mustafa) who wanted to help a man in his family (lets says Ahmad) by giving him some financial assistance.
Ahmad is a man who earns in his 30s and healthy. He has a very low income, though. He has two children and recently had a third baby boy. He has his three quiet well off sisters.His wife also gives tuitions from time to time to earn extra. Everybody helps Ahmad as much as they can. But Mustafa insists that Ahmad needs his help too. He plans to send a very good amount.
My argument is this: There are so many people in this world who do not get any help, who r dieing, who r suffering, not just ppl but children too (Esp. in Africa due to famine, drought and war). If u have to spend ur money in a good purpose, to help someone, pliz help the dieing children in Africa.
Mustafa also says that as his father asked him to help Ahmad he can not refuse. And as Ahmad is in his family, he should help him.
Do u agree or disagree?
P.S. pliz reply soon so I can forward ur opinion to Mustafa. He should realise wht he's doing.
I feel I've lost a thousand years,just living day by day.I'm hidden behind the pain and tears,my sorrow guides the way. By Jamie Pace
I don't quite agree with your opinion sis. I think Mustafa should help ahmad. This hadeeth comes to my mind " To leave your family (after your death) in a wealthy state, is better than to leave them poor and begging from people."
You can help children in Africa, after you help your family first. As long as Ahmad is doing his best, and not depending on other people to help him, then yes Mustafa should help ahamd in any way he can, simply because he is family.
I dont understand why you'd discourage somebody from helping another no disrespect sis but that view seems rather flawed. There is nothing wrong with helping one person over another if they both need the help. Alhamdulillah we are a huge Ummah and we can all help the people in Africa insha'Allah. But who will help Ahmed but his family...?
What bothers me is the fact, that if smone is working and have immediate relatives helping them...
Then, we should help others who are not getting that kind of help.
I don't know, but I find it hard to help men who r earning.
I think we should give to ppl who r not earning. For eg. an old widow in the family who receives no help from her children. Or an old couple in family who gets no help from children.
And when u have them,,hw can u prefer to help a young, strong , earning man, who is getting help from his sisters on time to time basis.....
I am not sure.....but......my heart doesn't go out to Ahmad!
There should be smthing more to convince me to help a healthy, earning man, who if tries harder, can earn better!
I totally agree with dangerous minds though.
If Mustafa wants to help Ahmad he gives him a small amount (not as huge as he is giving) and give even more to the others who r getting no help.
But all to give away to Ahmad!!! Doesn't work for me!
Pliz, if I am wrong correct me with references that we should help our relatives irrelevant of how needy they r or whether they r earning or not.
Mayb my assumptions r based on the wrong thoughts that we should only help those who r not earning!!
I feel I've lost a thousand years,just living day by day.I'm hidden behind the pain and tears,my sorrow guides the way. By Jamie Pace
You should remember, sister, even though the man is healthy and does have an income, it doesn't mean it is enough to maintain an good level in his life, with three children, a wife and home in a place were living is quite expensive, if you compare it to the very poor places in the world.
That which Mustafa gives, seems to be an quite great amount of money (?) and I assume he won't give away such amounts vey often, but just like this, once in a while.
I for one, of experience, had parents that were healthy and everything under control when it comes to schooling and stuff, still had it very hard in regards to economy. It's not as easy as it may seem. The big picture is indeed, that for example if poor states in Africa people have it so much worse, but those are totally different conditions there. Yes, it makes us realize what's more important. But then again, it might seem slightly unfair to compare such huge differences. If those people in Africa, lived Ahmad's life, they would consider it a blessing yes, BUT would just like Ahmad have to deal with the conditions of that particular life. I hope you understand me.
If Mustafa wants to help, he should. You should see it maybe as something that doesn't happen frequently. One thing at a time. I also think, if it really does bother, one should share things and give a bit there and a bit there. That might be the best solution, inshaAllah!
Last edited by Al-Zaara; 09-24-2008 at 08:13 PM.
“If only I had checked myself”
—
Guy who wrecked himself
True leaders don't create followers...
.... They create new leaders.
That which Mustafa gives, seems to be an quite great amount of money (?) and I assume he won't give away such amounts vey often, but just like this, once in a while.
Yes, it is just once in a while thing. Mustafa hasn't helped Ahmad B4. I know my family. If he helps once, they will start coming to him every year in ramadan asking for help.
Anyway, I prefer it too this way, a little bit here n a little bit there, Keep a balance.
Mayb it's disturbing me more becoz, it's ramadan. Mustafa has to pay his zakat. He's not very calculated on how much zakat he has to pay. He might give, he might not give. When he is trying to help Ahmad, I just felt he should first pay his zakat, n then he can help the rest of his family ppl.
And Zakat has strict rules.
I feel I've lost a thousand years,just living day by day.I'm hidden behind the pain and tears,my sorrow guides the way. By Jamie Pace
Oh...I guess you didnt mention Zakah in your first post. Is Mustafa himself confused, or is this just you? I'm sure he'll do what he thinks is best with his money insha'Allah.
Oh...I guess you didnt mention Zakah in your first post. Is Mustafa himself confused, or is this just you? I'm sure he'll do what he thinks is best with his money insha'Allah.
WassalamuAlaykum
Salamoalaikum sis,
yes..i didn't mention coz it's not mentioned when I talk to him either. It's only like an "understood" thing.
If I am not wrong we should put it like this:
1. Pay ur zakat in full.
2. Then, If u have more, by the will of Allah, help ur family.
3. While helping ur family keep the more needy ones like widows, divroced women, orphans, sick, old ...first.
4. Then u can help (at last) ppl who r earning but can not make ends meet.
right?
Wa'alaikum assalam
I feel I've lost a thousand years,just living day by day.I'm hidden behind the pain and tears,my sorrow guides the way. By Jamie Pace
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no disrespect sis but that view seems rather flawed. There is nothing wrong with helping one person over another if they both need the help. Alhamdulillah we are a huge Ummah and we can all help the people in Africa insha'Allah. But who will help Ahmed but his family...?
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