Once upon a time there were two brothers, both were muffins but I care too much about one to let them continue like this. A result of the muffin-ness was that they decided not to talk to one another after an extremely lame argument.
What would you advise them?
I've tried. But one of them () said that he wouldnt talk because I told him too, he'd talk for the sake of Allah, when he is ready probably. But why would you want to delay doing something for the sake of Allah? For the sake of the One who could take your life tomorrow? I dont get that part...
hmmm after a fight they shouldnt delay their sorry and start talking stage for too long. what if its too late? what if something happened to one brother before the other could make up? does the other want to live the rest of his life regretting it?
what if their stubborness delays them from saying sorry and they just keep building this up which turns all of it into hatred. is it worth it? i dont think so
both of them should be men say sorry and buy each other flowers. they dont have to be chummy again straight away but come on, dont not talk.
make up and then start next week inshaAllah they will be laughing about the silliness of their argument.
oh and i was joking about the flowers bit.
Grab them both, force them to sit together and explain to them how they are are being very very silly. Then try to make them understand how some people have some real problems and they shouldn't cry over their lame arguments. And finally, tell them to start being MEN!
Once upon a time there were two brothers, both were muffins but I care too much about one to let them continue like this. A result of the muffin-ness was that they decided not to talk to one another after an extremely lame argument.
What would you advise them?
I've tried. But one of them () said that he wouldnt talk because I told him too, he'd talk for the sake of Allah, when he is ready probably. But why would you want to delay doing something for the sake of Allah? For the sake of the One who could take your life tomorrow? I dont get that part...
So yah....Advise please.
WassalamuAlaykum
I would find a story of the Sahaba Radiallu Anhum about forgiveness/tolerance and read it to them/let them read it.
Or speak to them about it but sometimes you have to leave it for them to sort out, specially boys.
Insha'Allah will open their minds.
"The believers are nothing else than brothers (in Islamic religion). So make reconciliation between your brothers.'' (49:10)
"But do not help one another in sin and transgression.'' (5:2)
1591. Anas bin Malik (May Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said,
"Do not desert (stop talking to) one another, do not nurse hatred towards one another, do not be jealous of one another, and become as fellow brothers and slaves of Allah. It is not lawful for a Muslim to stop talking to his brother (Muslim) for more than three days.''
[Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
Commentary: "Hijran'' means to terminate contacts and speech. All the things mentioned in this Hadith are prohibited for the reason that they go against the spirit of Muslim brotherhood. Muslims are ordained to maintain the bond of Islamic fraternity.
1592. Abu Ayyub Al-Ansari (May Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said,
"It is not lawful for a Muslim to desert (stop talking to) his brother beyond three nights, the one turning one way and the other turning to the other way when they meet, the better of the two is one who is the first to greet the other.''
[Al-Bukhari and Muslim].
Abu Khirash Hadrad bin Abu Hadrad Al-Aslami (May Allah be pleased with him) said: I heard the Prophet (PBUH) saying,
"Whosoever forsakes his brother for a year is like one who sheds his blood.''
[Abu Dawud].
I know that nobody is perfect, that we sometimes fall out with people, but c'monnnn :laugh:
Do they want to take things that far that Allah would test them by taking the life of one of them, or something else they hold dear? Don't they love each other? Or do they want to never talk to each other until they get old and later regret, but then, death tears them apart just before admitting? Or that years are spent with hate and regret will be their companion until death and after? When Allah asks them for the reason, while the Prophets, Angels and human beings of the world are watching, thinking what fools they are, such a sin could have been spared, will they dare to explain? Do they not want each other's friendship and trust?
I do recommend them to not talk whilst still freshly angry, for from anger nothing good comes. But when they loose their anger and it is replaced with hate, disgust, pride, arrogance and stubborness... They gain nothing. It is like they are saying their goal is heaven and they keep walking, not looking around to see the path they have taken only darkens and they should start to doubt if this path really does lead to heaven... Why? 'Cause Emaan is also kindess, one who is not kind, has no Emaan. Kindness lightens your path, it takes away burdens and clears the soul. Love is a form of kindess and a Muslim has love. Tell them to be ashamed, both of them, take away their pride, accept the differences and yearn for Allah's mercy and acceptance.
“If only I had checked myself”
—
Guy who wrecked himself
True leaders don't create followers...
.... They create new leaders.
It is like they are saying their goal is heaven and they keep walking, not looking around to see the path they have taken only darkens and they should start to doubt if this path really does lead to heaven..
Sometimes we feel as though our Imaan is low, we dont have to look far to figure out why....SubhanAllah
The whole ummah is so divided as it is, the last thing we need is petty fights like this.
The problem is, both of them think that they are right and that they have been wronged. But they need to realise that by breaking ties like that they are BOTH in the wrong.
Whoevers fault it may have been initially, neither has a right to break up like that. One of them is going to have to take the initial step, just forget about who's done what, and give in. Not for the sake of the other person, not for anyone elses sake, but for Allah's sake...
"And hold fast, all of you together, to the Rope of Allah (i.e. this Quran), and be not divided among yourselves, and remember Allahs Favour on you, for you were enemies one to another but He joined your hearts together, so that, by His Grace, you became brethren (in Islamic Faith), and you were on the brink of a pit of Fire, and He saved you from it. Thus Allah makes His Ayat (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.,) clear to you, that you may be guided." [3:103]
Remember that man who was dying and so he told his sons (they were 4) to brings 4 sticks to him and told them to hold the sticks together and break them. And they were unable to do so. Then he told them to break them one by one, and they did it. And so he demonstrated to his sons how if they would stay together noone would be able to break them.
About the brother saying he is not going to do it for you but for Allah, tell him you aren't asking him to do it for you. But you are only reminding him why he should do it, for Allah. That's just a lame excuse for not wanting to do something.
Sometimes it's pride that makes people not want to take the first step thinking the other person won't accept. In that case, it doesn't matter how the other person may react. And it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. Who is it that you are trying to please? The people? Or Allah... And once you've said salaam and done your duty, you leave the rest to Allah. As long as you have done your duty, it is enough. And you won't be held accountable. As for the other person, be assured that Allah will deal with them, justly.
And sometimes it may be because they are too angry with what the other person has done and so don't want to forgive them. Well look at the rewards for those who forgive. And that hadith about those who stop arguments even if they are in the right- they get a house in the outskirts/middle of jannah (not sure which way around it was).
There are so many examples. Like the story of that man who used to forgive everyone every night before he went to bed.
And the man who had a slave girl and she was pouring the water for him to do wudu. And some splashed onto him. He was angry at her, and then she recited the ayah [3:134]: 'Wal kaathimeen al ghaith. Wal 3aafeena 3aninnaas. Wallahu yuhibbul muhsineen.' And as she recited the parts of this ayah, one by one, he supressed his anger, forgave her and then set her free and even gave her a gift of 1000 dinars!! Subhanallaah some people when they hear a command from Allah, they obey with no question about it.
Depends on my relationship with that 'brother'...obvisouly if he is my father, brother or any other mahram I get on with... then I would continue advising.
But really depends. Men don't usually say everything... so unlike women who tend to reveal their dislikes about someone/something...men keep it to themselves. Maybe there is more to it...maybe now is not the right time to talk...maybe never...especially if something is for the sake of Allaah. Also, sometimes we know we need to do things only for Allaah's sake...and that's the thing... this drives us... any other intention is wrong...we refrain from doing it untill we feel satisfied that its for Allaah...
...I wonder at the one who extends his right hand
To his beloved at the time of seperation and he hastens therein!
I felt weak and incapable of saying farewell when I saw him
So my heart shook his hand whilst my eye wept....
I've tried. But one of them () said that he wouldnt talk because I told him too, he'd talk for the sake of Allah, when he is ready probably. But why would you want to delay doing something for the sake of Allah? For the sake of the One who could take your life tomorrow? I dont get that part...
because you're hurt maybe? or proud? or maybe you wanna teach this muffin head sibling of yours a lesson not to mess with ya and by doing it for the sake of allah so quick after the argument you wont be teaching them a lesson, you would be letting them get away with it...
meh...
EDIT: either that, or its not for the sake of allah to begin with
Last edited by Ummu Sufyaan; 12-12-2008 at 08:45 AM.
...desperate for husnul-khitaam...
please make dua that Allah grants me a good end (to my life). please make dua that Allah guides me.
Are they blood brothers? If so, its quite serious. Perhaps u should send them this?
A young man once went to attend the weekly hadith lecture of Hadrat Abu Hurairah, Radi-Allahu anhu but Abu Hurairah's routine opening announcement stopped him:
"If anyone sitting here has severed any ties of kinship (qata-ur-rahim), he should leave." (and repair his relationship).
The young man recalled his aunt, who lived in the same town but with whom he had not been on speaking terms. The young man quietly left the gathering and went straight to his aunt's home. He met his aunt and asked for forgiveness for his past behavior and sought rapprochement.
When the aunt inquired about the reason for this change of heart, the young man narrated how he had heard Abu Huraira's announcement. His aunt accepted the apology but asked him to inquire from Abu Hurairah, Radi-Allahu anhu, the reason for this unusual announcement. Why, instead of mentioning the major sins, did Abu Hurairah focus only on this issue? What was so special about ties of kinship?
Hadrat Abu Hurairah replied that he had heard from the Prophet that our deeds are presented to Allah every Thursday night and anyone who has severed family ties has all his good deeds rejected. Abu Hurairah did not want any such person sitting in his gathering, which was held on the same night, for fear that it could deprive the entire gathering of blessings.
Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.
When you create an account, we remember exactly what you've read, so you always come right back where you left off. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and share your thoughts. Sign Up
) said that he wouldnt talk because I told him too, he'd talk for the sake of Allah, when he is ready probably. But why would you want to delay doing something for the sake of Allah? For the sake of the One who could take your life tomorrow? I dont get that part...
AssalamuAlaykumbut sometimes you have to leave it for them to sort out, specially boys.
and by doing it for the sake of allah so quick after the argument you wont be teaching them a lesson, you would be letting them get away with it...
that our deeds are presented to Allah every Thursday night and anyone who has severed family ties has all his good deeds rejected. Abu Hurairah did not want any such person sitting in his gathering, which was held on the same night, for fear that it could deprive the entire gathering of blessings.
Hide
Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.
Posting Permissions
Bookmarks