Adultery as a Ground for Seeking Divorce

[syilla]

Question

Respected scholars, as-salamu `alaykum.

I have found out that my husband has been committing adultery for the last six years of our marriage with different women.

I have requested a divorce. However, he has promised that he would change and said that he is repentant.

Unfortunately, I am no longer able to trust him and do not feel he is sincere. In such a situation, would filing a divorce be based on just grounds?

Also, he is creating mental anguish by telling me that Almighty Allah would reward me for keeping the family together. I feel he is manipulating me because he knows I am God-fearing.

Jazakum Allahu khayran

Wa `alaykum as-salam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh.


In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.


All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.


Sister, first of all, we are impressed by your question, which emanates from a thoughtful heart. May Almighty Allah help us all adhere to the principles of this true religion, Islam, and enable us to be among the dwellers of Paradise in the Hereafter, amen.


No doubt, adultery is an abominable and heinous sin in Islam. It violates peoples' honors and destroys families and may lead its doer to Hell in the Hereafter and great loss in this worldly life. It is unbecoming of a Muslim husband to leave what is halal (Arabic for: allowed according to Islamic teachings) and go for haram (Arabic for: prohibited according to Islamic teachings) or leave what is pure and go for the impure and filthy. Any Muslim involved in this heinous sin is required to fear Allah and sincerely repent to Him before it is too late.


In his response to your question, Sheikh Ahmad Kutty, a senior lecturer and Islamic scholar at the Islamic Institute of Toronto, Ontario, Canada, stated,

If you have clear evidence that your husband has been committing adultery and he has not changed his behavior and therefore you are unable to trust him, then that is a valid ground for you to get a divorce from him.

As Almighty Allah tells us in the Qur'an, [The adulterer will not marry save an adulteress or an idolatress. And for the adulteress, none will marry her except an adulterer or an idolater. All that is forbidden to the believers] (An-Nur 24:3).

The only exception to the above rule is when the person has sincerely repented and has changed and made amends to redeem himself or herself; in which case, you are allowed to continue the marriage.

May Allah inspire us to love all that is good and pure and make us abhor all that is filthy and obscene, amen.

Excerpted with slight modifications from Islam.ca.

Islamonline

[nocturne]

That is very difficult question, i pity the sister put in such a dilemma. May allah guide her to do the right thing.

[Ummu Sufyaan]

here's something similar...
http://www.islamtoday.com/show_detai...d=84&q_id=1092

[cat eyes]

she has the prove and everything that he cheated with different women why the hell is she asking scholars that she should stay with him or not i mean for pity sake when the answer is clear she should divorce him. she must be a little bit slow or simple imagine having kids with a man you could not trust thats just crazy how could you live with the pain of that every time you look at him your reminded of what he done and the women. i would not be able to stand up and carry on through each day the pain would sicken me and id be cursing him like mad and here she is asking a scholar as if it was just a little thing he committed and can be easily sorted! this scars a woman for life

[Ummu Sufyaan]

she has the prove and everything that he cheated with different women why the hell is she asking scholars that she should stay with him or not i mean for pity sake when the answer is clear she should divorce him. she must be a little bit slow or simple imagine having kids with a man you could not trust thats just crazy how could you live with the pain of that every time you look at him your reminded of what he done and the women. i would not be able to stand up and carry on through each day the pain would sicken me and id be cursing him like mad and here she is asking a scholar as if it was just a little thing he committed and can be easily sorted! this scars a woman for life

do you have to be so rude? she was asking becuase clearly she doesn't know.

[OurIslamic]

I think it's a viable reason for diveroce, but that's just my opinion. Make dua to Allah.

[cat eyes]

i am not being rude i am clearly being honest! people do not want to face the reality that there spouse is no good so they seem to believe that if they go to a scholar, a scholar will tell them what they want to hear!!! i don't see how a persons opinion of honesty and reality is rude sister!! if that sister asked you this question, what would you tell her?? you would tell her to divorce as soon as possible. is it even a question to ask??? thats my point. get over it

[S_87]

she has the prove and everything that he cheated with different women why the hell is she asking scholars that she should stay with him or not i mean for pity sake when the answer is clear she should divorce him. she must be a little bit slow or simple imagine having kids with a man you could not trust thats just crazy how could you live with the pain of that every time you look at him your reminded of what he done and the women. i would not be able to stand up and carry on through each day the pain would sicken me and id be cursing him like mad and here she is asking a scholar as if it was just a little thing he committed and can be easily sorted! this scars a woman for life

Sister, its not always easy to get up and go and when put in difficult situations the obvious answer may not be the one youre thinking of at the time. we all ask for advice sometimes even when we know the answer in the back of our heads too. in such a situation, i can understand why a person would want to ask advice and yes, it most cetainly is a question to ask.

[cat eyes]

i am sure it is a question to be asked for some people. although in a muslim country having the prove and everything that he had committed adultery is grounds for a death penalty never mind divorce like a man would be called stupid fool in iran to even ask about taking back his wife after committing such a sin and he would not be long having her stoned, i believe that western women are to soft and to even think about taking such a person back is silly although thats my opinion and nobody has to agree