Muslim girl involved with White Christian Boy without her parents knowledge!

[Bagwell]

Hello Muslim Brothers and Sisters,

I am Pakistani, and so is this 17 year old girl that I know. I know for a fact that she has been seeing a Christian White boy without her parents knowing, even acting sexually with him! I have expressed my disapproval to this girl, and she knows her parents would go CRAZY if they knew.

I do not want her to be involved with this boy anylonger, as I do not think it is good for her wellbeing. It is not because I myself want to be with her, I just think she is being disrespectful to her culture, family, and religion.

How can I get this relationship to stop? I have thought of phoning her parents and telling them anonymously, but she would figure it was me and be very angry with me, which I do not want. I still want her to be my friend. I have tried talking to her, but she will not listen. Im afraid the only alternative is for her parents to find out somehow, which I fear might be too late.

So, how can this problem be resolved?

[Ummu Sufyaan]

just

How can I get this relationship to stop? I have thought of phoning her parents and telling them anonymously, but she would figure it was me and be very angry with me, which I do not want. I still want her to be my friend. I have tried talking to her, but she will not listen. Im afraid the only alternative is for her parents to find out somehow, which I fear might be too late.

So, how can this problem be resolved?

ok what you need to do is get her to stop seeing this guy without making her do something worse...i.e be careful how you go about it, cos it may lead her to run right to him, which is what we are trying to avoid...
if you feel telling her parents would Stop her, than do so...dont worry about your relationship with her for now, its not about you, its about her... get an elder involved/someone she would listen to...

[Banu_Hashim]

... Well I don't think there's any easy solution to this. Personally I think the only two people that are truly going to get through to her, is her parents. For now, I would remind her of the qualities of a muslimah; i.e. hayya (modesty). As her friend, I think that's all you can do... encourage her to do the right thing. But, as said before, if things start to get serious, (and by the sounds of it, it may have) then get an elder of hers involved.

[julie sarri]

I understand that telling her parents my seem the only way but what if they hurt her some parents are stricked dose the girl have any sisters or close friends maybe it would be better to try and approach them first.remind her how hurt her parents would be and how hard things could become for her if they were to find out remind her that the chances of her parents ever agreeing to her being with him are slim to none say it would be better for her to stop now before things get even deeper maybe someone should try and reason with the christian boy and tell him how hard things would be for her and if he cared for her then its better to let her go now before its to late

[roohani.doctor]

Be careful. She may end up disobeying/hating her parents if they make her stop. I know some girls who wont listen to anyone and think its their life etc...especially at that age since it is the age of rebellion. I think the best way is to talk to her, tell her what she is doing is wrong, ask her where she thinks the relationship will lead to, what will happen if her parents found out etc. The main thing is for HER to see what she is doing is 100% WRONG, only then will she be able to back down. If you do get her parents involved, it might not work out for the best. This is just my opinion and from experience, I know sometimes parents are not the best way to go. However if she doesn't stop or at least acknowledge her error then maybe it is best to tell an elder.

[Snowflake]

If you tell her parents, she might end up running away to be with this boy. I doubt it will achieve anything other than her parents wishing they were dead.

The best thing is to tell her bluntly that what she is doing is haram and she her actions will displease and anger Allah SWT. Give her some books to read about women in islam and make dua to Allah to guide her. Allah can do anything He wants. But her parents will probably just chop her head off.

[YusufNoor]

Hello Muslim Brothers and Sisters,

I am Pakistani, and so is this 17 year old girl that I know. I know for a fact that she has been seeing a Christian White boy without her parents knowing, even acting sexually with him! I have expressed my disapproval to this girl, and she knows her parents would go CRAZY if they knew.

I do not want her to be involved with this boy anylonger, as I do not think it is good for her wellbeing. It is not because I myself want to be with her, I just think she is being disrespectful to her culture, family, and religion.

How can I get this relationship to stop? I have thought of phoning her parents and telling them anonymously, but she would figure it was me and be very angry with me, which I do not want. I still want her to be my friend. I have tried talking to her, but she will not listen. Im afraid the only alternative is for her parents to find out somehow, which I fear might be too late.

So, how can this problem be resolved?

personally, i would say that it is none of your business! you KNOW any action that you take will bring harm to this woman. i'm sure you have your own sins to concern yourself with.

as a matter of fact, this:

I know for a fact that she has been seeing a Christian White boy without her parents knowing, even acting sexually with him!

entitles you to 80 lashes! let us know when you have received them and THEN we can talk!

Brother, fear Allah Ta' Aala and make Tawbah!

[AntiKarateKid]

Wait wait wait. Yusuf could you run that by me again?

I'd say there's nothing you could do except tell her bluntly that what she's doing is stupid. Make sure she knows that her actions are completely anti-Islamic and so if she chooses the boy over her religion then leave her. She's lost and it's up to her, not you to find herself.

[جوري]

I actually agree with br. Yusuf.. people should concern themselves with their own sins..

and Allah swt knows best

[Hassan'76ers]

You are entitled to 80 lashes~

----------
but apart from that---> you should try talking to her and if she does not come by then just leave her.I know its going to be hard but you have to.

[YusufNoor]

Wait wait wait. Yusuf could you run that by me again?

I'd say there's nothing you could do except tell her bluntly that what she's doing is stupid. Make sure she knows that her actions are completely anti-Islamic and so if she chooses the boy over her religion then leave her. She's lost and it's up to her, not you to find herself.

he's accusing her of zina. he needs 4 EYE witness. if he doesn't have them, the punishment for the that false accusation is 80 lashes!

[Amadeus85]

Something must be done quick, its a white christian boy for God's sake. Can there be something more dangerous?

[AntiKarateKid]

Oh yea!

Forgot... gj for catching that bro. We need to be careful.

[YusufNoor]

Oh yea!

Forgot... gj for catching that bro. We need to be careful.

AND he's no longer a valid witness, on ANYTHING! unless he repents.

May he turn back to Allah and May Allah accept it!

[AntiKarateKid]

Something must be done quick, its a white christian boy for God's sake. Can there be something more dangerous?

In Islam, a Muslim girl is not allowed to marry a non-Muslim.

I'm not saying Christian boys are generally bad but....

He is secretly fornicating with her, knowingly destroying her relationship with her parents, and taking away her religion. Not to mention the fact that these types of relationships often don't last (breakups, losing interest, finding someone else).

Why do you think Muslims marry? Cause we like meeting our in-laws?

So far... he's done a **** good job of making Christian boys look dangerous.

[alcurad]

brother Yusufnoor, you are a funny one, although such attempts should be done in the humor section usually methinks.
just from where did you invent all that 80 lashes he needs to repent because he is falsely accusing etc I have no idea, but you have a single thing correct, it doesn't matter what she does, although it is not good, but now that it happened, and there is no way to stop it without causing harm to the girl, it's best to stay silent and leave it.

[AntiKarateKid]

brother Yusufnoor, you are a funny one, although such attempts should be done in the humor section usually methinks.
just from where did you invent all that 80 lashes he needs to repent because he is falsely accusing etc I have no idea, but you have a single thing correct, it doesn't matter what she does, although it is not good, but now that it happened, and there is no way to stop it without causing harm to the girl, it's best to stay silent and leave it.

Darn... I'm confused now.. what's the ruling on the lashes?

[جوري]

we don't actually know if they are 'secretly fornicating'..
Many non-Muslims as well keep their virginity for their spouses though they might fool around in other multitudes of ways...

There was a married sister here who complained that she hasn't consummated her marriage in four yrs..so technically if you are not an eye witness you can't simply assume...

I still agree with Br. yusuf, each soul is held in pledge by its own deeds as is mentioned in the Quran.. all you can do is offer sincere advise that this is wrong and then walk away..

and Allah swt knows best

[YusufNoor]

brother Yusufnoor, you are a funny one, although such attempts should be done in the humor section usually methinks.
just from where did you invent all that 80 lashes he needs to repent because he is falsely accusing etc I have no idea, but you have a single thing correct, it doesn't matter what she does, although it is not good, but now that it happened, and there is no way to stop it without causing harm to the girl, it's best to stay silent and leave it.

perhaps you've heard of the Qur'an?

24:4 And those who accuse chaste women and then do not produce four witnesses - lash them with eighty lashes and do not accept from them testimony ever after. And those are the defiantly disobedient,

if you desire to belittle it, then perhaps YOU belong in the humor section!

[Forced_In]

assalm

What if no name is specifically mentioned ?

wassalam