I was wondering if this is considered a haram marriage. If a guy proposes to a girl. She doesn't want him in her heart but her parents do. She doesn't want to disappoint them so she can't say no but she has a hard time saying yes. She tells them she needs more time to think and then after some fighting and arguing she tells them to do whatever they want. The parents accept the proposal and the girl breaks down in tears because she doesn't want it.
Is this a haram marriage? The girl never said no but it is quite clear in her heart and her action that she doesn't want it.
You should be honest with your parents and tell them that this is not what YOU want...............You mustn't do this if your heart is not in it and you will only cause yourself and your parents heartache and suffering later on if the marraige does not succeed..............
What your parents are doing now is nothing compared to what they will feel if they continue with this marraige afterwards.............
Little one be honest with them, don't let them emotionally blackmail you into marraige and yes where you are not consenting the marraige would be haraam..............Good luck.
It is isn't considered haraam, if the islamic conditions are met. However, if you don't want to proceed in marrying this fellow, I'd highly recommand you say no. This is because later on, many problems may arise. So inorder to prevent that, it is better to say no right now then later on regretting it for the rest of your life.
wa salam
The Possibilities in Islam are limitless.
The first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: Decide what you want. -Ben Stein
They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself. -Andy Warhol
She has to save herself........ i have seen this happen before and what happens........??? Only more hardship and pain afterwards not just for the girl but for her parents too and what about the man she is to marry???........and his parents and family???? Our pakistani culture needs to come out of the ancient times and keep up with their children........
The girl has not disobeyedher parents or disrespected them, however has been put between a rock and a hard place by the people who love her and are asking her to make a decision to suit them........this really angers me as i have seen it happen once toooooooooo often!!!
I just hope the girls is strong enough to make the right decision............
I was wondering if this is considered a haram marriage. If a guy proposes to a girl. She doesn't want him in her heart but her parents do. She doesn't want to disappoint them so she can't say no but she has a hard time saying yes. She tells them she needs more time to think and then after some fighting and arguing she tells them to do whatever they want. The parents accept the proposal and the girl breaks down in tears because she doesn't want it.
Is this a haram marriage? The girl never said no but it is quite clear in her heart and her action that she doesn't want it.
If a sister doesnt want to she should tell parents because we look at this
It is not permissible for a woman to be made to marry someone she does not want. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “A previously-married woman should not be married without being consulted, and a virgin should not be married without asking her permission.” They said, “O Messenger of Allaah, how is her permission given?” He said, “By her silence.” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 6455).
So by being silent you agree or saying what ever you want. this is you life sister dont be afraid to say no
both the guardian and the woman must agree to the marriage.
The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If there comes to you one with whose religious commitment and character you are pleased, then marry (your daughter or other female relative under your care) to him, for if you do not do that there will be tribulation in the land and much corruption.”
Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1084; Ibn Maajah, 1967. Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah, 1022.
so if a good man comes (i dont know this man ) and ask and daughter is silent or says do what ever you want how would they Know (THEY BEING PARENTS)
Allah KNOWS BEST
Last edited by أبو سليمان عمر; 04-18-2009 at 08:07 PM.
Reason: FORGOT SOMTHING
If you're the brother proposing, how are you going to feel about your marriage when you remember that your wife never wanted to marry you in the first place and had been forced into it? Wouldn't you rather marry someone who wants to happily accept you without breaking 'down in tears'
If you're the sister, if you're not happy about it then don't go ahead with it you can't be forced into a potentially painful marriage for the rest of your life.
If you're the brother proposing, how are you going to feel about your marriage when you remember that your wife never wanted to marry you in the first place and had been forced into it? Wouldn't you rather marry someone who wants to happily accept you without breaking 'down in tears'
If you're the sister, if you're not happy about it then don't go ahead with it you can't be forced into a potentially painful marriage for the rest of your life.
Akhi i probably wouldnt like it a bit but that wasnt her Question her Question was would it be a haram marriage
the marriage is invalid since the girl refuses, saying do whatever you want under pressure does not count as agreement.
First we will say Allah knows best if it is invalid or not unless you have daleel
Now we read what she wrote and from that parents might not know so how can we say yes it is invalid . And to you sis tell whom ever she is to tell her parents no she doesnt want to. is it haram Allah KNOWS best but in my opinion no it is not because she didnt refuse maybe this is what parents want they might know man and or family so in short if she doesnt want to she should not say let me think about it if she already knows or maybe etc say no let the man be on his way (MAY ALLAH FORGIVE ME IF IM WRONG) Ameen
but this is my opinion
Maybe you should try going to islamqa.com or fatwaislam.com
very good reliable islamic sites
The thing is some parents are just too difficult. They do all kinds of things to put their "happiness" before their daughters "happniess". There is soo much emtional blackmailing going on, that the daughter is put in a position where the choice is only a "yes".
Parents talk about their respect, and how they want this and that, but forget about the daughter. They forget that the daughter will have to spend the rest of the life with their spouse. And when things goes wrong, who will they blame? The parents of course!!
The parents do play an important role, but they arent the ones getting married. They are supposed to make the marriage process easier and not harder. They force their daughters to get married, and only realise the mistake later on. Its such a shame.
Ukhti form OP, try your best to stick up for yourself. Its really hard, and mentally tiring. Sometimes you will feel like giving up, sometimes you will feel there is no hope, and you will feel you have no control.
Try your best to remain steadfast. Stay close to Allah (Subhana WaTa'ala), and seek His guidance.
Indeed some parents do they will be asked on that on the day of judgment but some not all as you said try your best to stick up for yourself and dua istikfar May Allah give you want is best for you ameen
I was wondering if this is considered a haram marriage. If a guy proposes to a girl. She doesn't want him in her heart but her parents do. She doesn't want to disappoint them so she can't say no but she has a hard time saying yes. She tells them she needs more time to think and then after some fighting and arguing she tells them to do whatever they want. The parents accept the proposal and the girl breaks down in tears because she doesn't want it.
Is this a haram marriage? The girl never said no but it is quite clear in her heart and her action that she doesn't want it.
i dont know, but really if she doesnt want him, she has every right to refuse, so take that option inshallah. she isnt doing anything wrong...it'll only get worse if she gets into a marriage she doesnt want....
speak to her parents or get someone to so that they understand where she is coming from ...
but really tell her she has every right to refuse so she should grab it with both hands...
...desperate for husnul-khitaam...
please make dua that Allah grants me a good end (to my life). please make dua that Allah guides me.
What if after the marriage has taken place she falls in love with the guy? I mean she becomes truely in love with him to the point that she can't see her life without him. Is there a way for her to redo the marriage process or has no sin been commited?
I mean when they married she didn't want it but now she does. From what I have read, this would be considered a haram act. Can they do something to make their marriage more halal in terms of the religion?
Also, would you ever tell the guy about this? What if other people know and he could possibly hear through them? Should she tell him first to deal with it? If you were the guy what would you do when you heard this?
I wish you all love, peace, and happiness in your lives.
It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it. ~Aristotle www.themuslimzone.com
atheist of peace www.heathen-hub.com
godzilla
What if after the marriage has taken place she falls in love with the guy? I mean she becomes truely in love with him to the point that she can't see her life without him. Is there a way for her to redo the marriage process or has no sin been commited?
I mean when they married she didn't want it but now she does. From what I have read, this would be considered a haram act. Can they do something to make their marriage more halal in terms of the religion?
Also, would you ever tell the guy about this? What if other people know and he could possibly hear through them? Should she tell him first to deal with it? If you were the guy what would you do when you heard this?
so what your saying is that she now loves the dude she was forced to marry and she was in love with another before him and now she wants to tell her husband that there was another before him
...desperate for husnul-khitaam...
please make dua that Allah grants me a good end (to my life). please make dua that Allah guides me.
That is why it is best to begin knowing each other in the context of reality, and that reality begins in marriage, not in the imagination, which cannot make us ready for the responsibilities, the commitments, and the reciprocity of marriage. Nurturing one’s love before marriage is as good as building castles in the air: Once one awakes, the clouds disappear!
in Islam, when a man and a woman choose each other for marriage, neither is entitled to know about the past (personal private life) of the other. This is the extent to which Islam wants us to rise above the lower self and learn to love for the sake of Allah, not to love as in “to possess” each other.
"The Human being is an enemy to what he is ignorant of"
Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.
When you create an account, we remember exactly what you've read, so you always come right back where you left off. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and share your thoughts. Sign Up
You should be honest with your parents and tell them that this is not what YOU want...............You mustn't do this if your heart is not in it and you will only cause yourself and your parents heartache and suffering later on if the marraige does not succeed..............
as you said try your best to stick up for yourself and dua istikfar May Allah give you want is best for you ameen
Hide
Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.
Posting Permissions
Bookmarks