A muslim brother married a convert women. Well, to be honest,, she converted islam before nikkah with this brother. They were together(married) for abt 2 yrs. Now his wife informed him that she no is no longer a muslim. She also told him that she has started eating pork. According to the local imam, nikkah is void. This muslim brother needs to wait for 3 mths -in hope that may be his wife will change her mind (which is almost impossible). She lives with her parents who are non muslims. In fact it was mostly their influence that resulted in such a disaster. This brother is extremely upset. He has a daughter who is looked after by his wife's mother. He hardly gets to see her as his job involves lots of travelling to overseas. Furthermore, his inlaws don't want him to see the little girl much. He feels so helpless. He is mentally quite disturbed. Quite confused. He was even admitted to hospital for hypertension. Although, because of this incident he has started praying 5 times etc (before he was not that religious), he feels Allah has abandoned him. He think Allah hates him and is punishing him this way.
We have all tried utmost best to comfort him, prayed for him etc. Nothing seems to be working. Really don't know what to do.
A muslim brother married a convert women. Well, to be honest,, she converted islam before nikkah with this brother. They were together(married) for abt 2 yrs. Now his wife informed him that she no is no longer a muslim. She also told him that she has started eating pork. According to the local imam, nikkah is void. This muslim brother needs to wait for 3 mths -in hope that may be his wife will change her mind (which is almost impossible). She lives with her parents who are non muslims. In fact it was mostly their influence that resulted in such a disaster. This brother is extremely upset. He has a daughter who is looked after by his wife's mother. He hardly gets to see her as his job involves lots of travelling to overseas. Furthermore, his inlaws don't want him to see the little girl much. He feels so helpless. He is mentally quite disturbed. Quite confused. He was even admitted to hospital for hypertension. Although, because of this incident he has started praying 5 times etc (before he was not that religious), he feels Allah has abandoned him. He think Allah hates him and is punishing him this way.
We have all tried utmost best to comfort him, prayed for him etc. Nothing seems to be working. Really don't know what to do.
so he didnt pray before, now he is faced with calamities and punishments / tests from Allah and now he thinks he has a right for his prayers to be answered?
i hope Allah swt is merciful towards him, especially as otherwise this little girl will be raised upon kufr which is i think the hardest test any parent could face, but if someone shot heroin and ended up getting HIV you'd try to help him but tell him to face his punishment from Allah with sabr and make sure he doesnt go astray again.
it is a tragedy what has happened for the little girl, the local imam is correct in that if she comes back to islam before her waiting period she is muslim and no new nikkah is required but if she doesnt then it is an automatic negation of the marriage.
it would perhaps be best if he tries, as hard as it is to keep as good relations as possible with his x and her family to try to keep access with his daughter and also that he should seek legal help otherwise as no one wants to see their child raised as a kaffir.
also, why does he not ask his x why she left islam? if we knew the reasons we might know the answers to her doubts.
What I would say is please don't bring Allah into this, that He is punishing him and blablabla. He made the choice to marry her when there are millions of other good muslim sisters out there. It was his choice that brought him these results. It is unfortunate of course, but it has nothing to do with Allah punishing him.
He chose the wrong woman. That's all. End of story.
I am sure there is a way out of this. I agree with Fighting4Iman. He should ask Allah for help, but he should put aside that Allah is punishing him. Ask Him for help but don't judge Allah, as no one knows what and why He is doing what He does.
If this marriage is still valid...i wonder if the brother should ( perhaps for the 3 months) accept the wife and tell her he will still be her husband...if he gains her trust maybe he can move away from the influence of her parents on some other pretext.
This may give the sister time /space to clear her doubts...after that... it is what Allah wills...and one can only pray for the guidance of the daughter.
so he didnt pray before, now he is faced with calamities and punishments / tests from Allah and now he thinks he has a right for his prayers to be answered?
Allaah knows who has more right for their prayers to be answered brother. And Allaah is the most forgiving and merciful towards those who turn to Him. Whereas we sometimes forget to be.
it would perhaps be best if he tries, as hard as it is to keep as good relations as possible with his x and her family to try to keep access with his daughter and also that he should seek legal help otherwise as no one wants to see their child raised as a kaffir.
also, why does he not ask his x why she left islam? if we knew the reasons we might know the answers to her doubts.
Thank you all for your kind words.
I have passed all the above to this brother. He sounds better than when I last saw him (three days ago). His wife has refused to go to the islamic centre. She is a foreigner. We were hoping that if she would meet muslim women of her ethnic background, it will be easier for her to understand or shall I say she'll be more comfortable talking to her own people. Unfortunately, she has rejected the offer.
Yes, I do agree its this brother's fault marrying this woman. Problem is that this was his 2nd marriage. His marriage didn't work previously because his born muslim wife, observing burqa etc ran away during his absence taking whatever she could to marry her cousin. As after marrying this brother, she acquired foreign citizenship.
He use to hate women of his country. Now says he hates all women. We are trying to console him as much as possible.
Anyway, i request you all to pray for this brother. May Allah help him, grant him sabr and bless him with someone who'd help him become a better person and a good muslim (amin)!
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