*BUMP*
Well...i guess is a normal thing when comes to office environment. You'll sure to face conflict with people. Is a good thing he is a guy....so i've lots of reason to ignore him
But he is making me nuts... he loves to be bossy making my junior staffs feeling miserable, love to show that he is better than others...and thinking that the boss love him so much. :blind: as if
Don't worry...i still can control myself. But i need more wise words, hadeeth and ayah...to tell me to control my emotions.
i would like to share one... once i read a seerah... saying that prophet Muhammad SAW will soften his word and smile when someone approach him with nasty words. (and the moral of the story is...smile to those whom u hateInshaAllah...make dua for me)
wassallams
*BUMP*
lol, why is it driving you nuts sis? Let him be like that if he wants to. Your junior staff are getting a good experience of what it's like to work in the public sector. It's not your loss is it? And if he is that bad to work with, he won't last anyway. Just keep using your last quote as a reminder.But he is making me nuts... he loves to be bossy making my junior staffs feeling miserable, love to show that he is better than others...and thinking that the boss love him so much. as if
Aslam alaykum
We all know the Surah Al-Asr (103)
: I swear by the time. Most surely man is in loss. Except those who believe and do good,
and enjoin on each other truth, and enjoin on each other patience.
walaykum aslam ur sister in islam
edit
Last edited by syilla; 05-06-2009 at 02:44 PM. Reason: double post
yes i know...that what i've been telling them.format_quote Originally Posted by Scents of Jannah
it making me nuts coz i've to face this everyday and it seems i cannot do anything to rectify this.
InshaAllah ukhtee
Jazakallah khayrformat_quote Originally Posted by muslim soul
p/s:- i've given too much reps today...InshaAllah tomorrow :enough!:
Once there was a women walking towards Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) and started swearing at him,he kept smiling and at the end the Prophet Muhammad(PBUH) said "May you have a nice day too," and smiled. Hope that helps just stay calm and remember that little story about the Prophet (PBUH).
Those who maintain kinship with the detached, who continue to provide for those who let them down and willingly forgive their oppressors, shall indeed excel both in this world and the next."
-The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH), as reported by 'Uqbah bin Amir
i say continue thinking his a jacka$$ until he changes himself
heck get all your colleagues and have a talk with him
he shouldnt act like that
MashaAllah. Jazakallah khayr akheeformat_quote Originally Posted by Alpha Jr
Once there was a women walking towards Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) and started swearing at him,he kept smiling and at the end the Prophet Muhammad(PBUH) said "May you have a nice day too," and smiled. Hope that helps just stay calm and remember that little story about the Prophet (PBUH).
Jazakallah khayr....ukhteeformat_quote Originally Posted by ayan333
Those who maintain kinship with the detached, who continue to provide for those who let them down and willingly forgive their oppressors, shall indeed excel both in this world and the next."
-The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH), as reported by 'Uqbah bin Amir
Ameen to the doa
May every muslim excel in this world and the nextAmeen...
he"s*,is there another boss above him that you can report to sister?
This sounds awwwfullly familiar...*laughs*
Sounds to me that he wants attention. If it is his arrogance which bothers you; then simply ignore him.It will drive him insane,and you'd be doing a proper,polite thing!
Have patience and know that some people are experiencing things which are prettty similiar.
salam
Can you please point me to the sources of this hadith?format_quote Originally Posted by Alpha Jr
Once there was a women walking towards Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) and started swearing at him,he kept smiling and at the end the Prophet Muhammad(PBUH) said "May you have a nice day too," and smiled. Hope that helps just stay calm and remember that little story about the Prophet (PBUH).
lol...u r not really helping. you're just making me feeling misreable all day in the office...format_quote Originally Posted by Fighting4Iman
yes...but i don't want him to be bothered with this tiny matter. He is a busy man...actually he is the directorformat_quote Originally Posted by Alpha Jr
he"s*,is there another boss above him that you can report to sister?
lol... yeah i guess you are right. He is seeking for attention which he got noneformat_quote Originally Posted by houda~This sounds awwwfullly familiar...*laughs*
Sounds to me that he wants attention. If it is his arrogance which bothers you; then simply ignore him.It will drive him insane,and you'd be doing a proper,polite thing!
Have patience and know that some people are experiencing things which are prettty similiar.
salam. Yesterday my mother told me that this kind of person is actually lacking of confidence, so she said that i've just to accept this as his weaknesses.
I don't know how long the juniors can tolerate his attitude. Really hoping he can change but first i've to da'wah him not to miss salah. But it is not easy, he is not ashame missing salah openly especially with the juniors.
Last edited by syilla; 05-07-2009 at 01:28 AM.
Try and make a list of positive things about this person. (There must be some positive things, you only need to look hard enough!)
Remind yourself of those things whenever you meet this person.
Muhammed's example of softening the tone of voise and smiling is a good one.
Tell yourself 'Even if I don't like this person, I will pretend that I do' ... and eventually your heart really will be softened and you will start to see the good things in him.
Most importantly, remember that this person is part of God's creation, and that he is loved by God.
If God can love him, then at the very least you should try to do the same.
Peace
why do you have to be nice to him? why cant he be nice to you :blind:
i wouldn't even worry about it sis i'll just continue with my work...if he wants to be like that...then so be it...his hang up, not yours
We all have been through this ..at School,at work ..etc.
I searched through the net and I found these 3 pieces of advise , hop you can follow these steps to help you dealing with it ..
1- Try not to take it personally. It can be only too easy to assume that a person's negative reaction to us is a sign that there is either something wrong with us as a person or that we've somehow done something wrong. However, if a co-worker has suddenly started behaving towards you in hostile and aggressive ways for no apparent reason this is much more likely to be to do with them than you. This is often because they feel strongly threatened by your abilities - rather than you as a person - and their way of dealing with their feelings is to create drama - don't allow yourself to be sucked into it.
2- Maintain a polite and civil manner. Try to also be friendly - if you feel you can. Tempting as it can be to react in the heat of the moment when somebody is deliberately trying to make your life difficult, this can often backfire - encouraging the offender to react to you in worse ways than before. On the other hand, chances are if you don't give them the emotional reaction they're seeking they'll conclude it's a waste of time trying to get a rise out of you and start leaving you alone. It can also happen that when an over-competitive co-worker notices that you don't intend them harm in any way that they'll feel more motivated to treat you nicely in return.
3-Take protective measures. It's a good idea to have some in place, as while it's not true that in every single case a competitive co-worker goes out of the way to sabotage somebody else's effort - it does often happen. Consider the following suggestions:
* Use secure PC passwords to protect any electronic files you use at work.
* Keep back-up copies of everything you do, in the event a co-worker tries to place blame on you or show you up in a negative light for anything.
* Keep your desk contents locked with a key.
* Avoid sharing personal information about yourself with the co-worker. Keep all conversations professional.
Actually, he is been working here for almost two years....format_quote Originally Posted by gloTry and make a list of positive things about this person. (There must be some positive things, you only need to look hard enough!)
Remind yourself of those things whenever you meet this person.
Muhammed's example of softening the tone of voise and smiling is a good one.
Tell yourself 'Even if I don't like this person, I will pretend that I do' ... and eventually your heart really will be softened and you will start to see the good things in him.
Most importantly, remember that this person is part of God's creation, and that he is loved by God.
If God can love him, then at the very least you should try to do the same.
Peace
Most importantly, remember that this person is part of God's creation, and that he is loved by God.
If God can love him, then at the very least you should try to do the same.
This part is something i will do...if he really take a good care of his salah. If not, i can only respect him as one of my fellow muslim...and no love will come between us.
I 'have' to be nice to him...or i'll be gloomy all day bcoz of him. I'm trying my best not to worry ukhteeformat_quote Originally Posted by Umm ul-Shaheed
why do you have to be nice to him? why cant he be nice to you :blind:
i wouldn't even worry about it sis i'll just continue with my work...if he wants to be like that...then so be it...his hang up, not yours
I guess i really have to work out with this attitude of mine... i have to try to be friendly. Nice i can do...but friendly....wow...thats hard.format_quote Originally Posted by Fantasy Garden
We all have been through this ..at School,at work ..etc.
I searched through the net and I found these 3 pieces of advise , hop you can follow these steps to help you dealing with it ..
1- Try not to take it personally. It can be only too easy to assume that a person's negative reaction to us is a sign that there is either something wrong with us as a person or that we've somehow done something wrong. However, if a co-worker has suddenly started behaving towards you in hostile and aggressive ways for no apparent reason this is much more likely to be to do with them than you. This is often because they feel strongly threatened by your abilities - rather than you as a person - and their way of dealing with their feelings is to create drama - don't allow yourself to be sucked into it.
2- Maintain a polite and civil manner. Try to also be friendly - if you feel you can. Tempting as it can be to react in the heat of the moment when somebody is deliberately trying to make your life difficult, this can often backfire - encouraging the offender to react to you in worse ways than before. On the other hand, chances are if you don't give them the emotional reaction they're seeking they'll conclude it's a waste of time trying to get a rise out of you and start leaving you alone. It can also happen that when an over-competitive co-worker notices that you don't intend them harm in any way that they'll feel more motivated to treat you nicely in return.
3-Take protective measures. It's a good idea to have some in place, as while it's not true that in every single case a competitive co-worker goes out of the way to sabotage somebody else's effort - it does often happen. Consider the following suggestions:
* Use secure PC passwords to protect any electronic files you use at work.
* Keep back-up copies of everything you do, in the event a co-worker tries to place blame on you or show you up in a negative light for anything.
* Keep your desk contents locked with a key.
* Avoid sharing personal information about yourself with the co-worker. Keep all conversations professional.
About sabotaging, InshaAllah i'm prepared.
Last edited by syilla; 05-08-2009 at 01:58 AM.
I don't think as a normal human being you can love everyone. It will be against our fitrah.That must be a difference between Christians and Muslims then - we are taught that God loves ALL, even non-believers, the outcast, sinners. We believe so because of Jesus' example. Peace, and good luck with your colleague!
And i'm sure even we mothers teach our children to choose friends carefully.
the Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) said:
"A person is likely to follow the faith of his friend, so look at whom you befriend.
Abu Dawood and at-Tirmidhee
In another Hadith, Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) said:
"The example of a good companion and a bad companion is like that of the seller of musk, and the one who blows the blacksmith's bellows. So as for the seller of musk then either he will grant you some, or you buy some from him, or at least you enjoy a pleasant smell from him. As for the one who blows the blacksmith's bellows then either he will burn your clothes or you will get an offensive smell from him."
al-Bukhary and Muslim.
Allah, the All-Wise also says:
"Friends on that Day will be enemies one to another, except al-Muttaqoon (i.e. those who have Taqwah)." [43:67]
Hafidh Ibn Katheer, commenting on this verse, relates a story on the authority of Ali Ibn Abi Talib (r.a.a.) and says that any friendship for other than Allah is turned into enmity, except what was in it for Allah the Mighty and Majestic: Two who are friends for Allah's sake; one of them dies and is given good news that he will be granted al-Jannah, so he remembered his friend and he supplicated for him, saying: O Allah, my friend used to command me to obey You and to obey Your Prophet (s.a.w.) and used to command me to do good and to forbid me from doing evil. And he told me that I will meet You. O Allah, do not let him go astray after me, until you show him what you have just shown me, until You are satisfied with him, just like You are satisfied with me." So he is told: "Had you known what is (written) for you friend, would you have laughed a lot and cried a little." Then his friend dies and their souls are gathered, and both are asked to express their opinions about each other. So each one of them says to his friend: you were the best brother, the best companion and the best friend." And when on of the two disbelieving friends dies, and he is given tidings of Hellfire, he remembered his friend and he said: O Allah, my friend used to order me to disobey You and disobey Your Prophet, and commanded me to do evil, and forbade me from doing good, and told me that I would not meet You. O Allah, do not guide him after me, until you show him what you have just shown me and until you are dissatisfied with him just like You are dissatisfied with me." Then the other disbelieving friend dies, and their souls are gathered, and both are asked to give their opinions about each other. So each one says to his friend: you were the worst brother, the worst companion and the worst friend."sourceAllah, the All-Wise also says:
"Friends on that Day will be enemies one to another, except al-Muttaqoon (i.e. those who have Taqwah)." [43:67]
Hafidh Ibn Katheer, commenting on this verse, relates a story on the authority of Ali Ibn Abi Talib (r.a.a.) and says that any friendship for other than Allah is turned into enmity, except what was in it for Allah the Mighty and Majestic: Two who are friends for Allah's sake; one of them dies and is given good news that he will be granted al-Jannah, so he remembered his friend and he supplicated for him, saying: O Allah, my friend used to command me to obey You and to obey Your Prophet (s.a.w.) and used to command me to do good and to forbid me from doing evil. And he told me that I will meet You. O Allah, do not let him go astray after me, until you show him what you have just shown me, until You are satisfied with him, just like You are satisfied with me." So he is told: "Had you known what is (written) for you friend, would you have laughed a lot and cried a little." Then his friend dies and their souls are gathered, and both are asked to express their opinions about each other. So each one of them says to his friend: you were the best brother, the best companion and the best friend." And when on of the two disbelieving friends dies, and he is given tidings of Hellfire, he remembered his friend and he said: O Allah, my friend used to order me to disobey You and disobey Your Prophet, and commanded me to do evil, and forbade me from doing good, and told me that I would not meet You. O Allah, do not guide him after me, until you show him what you have just shown me and until you are dissatisfied with him just like You are dissatisfied with me." Then the other disbelieving friend dies, and their souls are gathered, and both are asked to give their opinions about each other. So each one says to his friend: you were the worst brother, the worst companion and the worst friend."
That is the end of those who do not have Taqwah and those who befriend for a sake other than that of Allah the Exalted. Allah has surely spoken the truth and we all should grasp what He has informed us of. It is through the good company that Allah, the Most High, saves those who are astray and guides the wicked. The benefit of mixing with the righteous is immense, and it will, insha'allah, be even more obvious to us in the Hereafter. One of the early Muslims said that it is from Allah's blessings upon a youth when he turns to worship that he is given brother who is a follower of the Sunnah encouraging him upon it".
Sealing a friendship for Allah's sake will result in one's receiving protection of Allah (s.w.t.). And as Ibn Abbas said: "No one may taste true faith except by this (i.e. building relationships for Allah's sake), even if his prayers and fasts are many. People have come to build their relationship around the concerns of the world, but it will not benefit them in any way." A scholar has said: "To seal a friendship for Allah's sake indicates the obligation of establishing relationships of love and trust for His sake; this is a friendship for the sake of Allah. It also indicates that simple affection is not enough here; indeed what is meant is a love based upon alliance. This entails assistance, honour, and respect. It means being with those whom you love both in word and deed." Loyalty for the sake of Allah really means to love Allah and to come to the assistance of His Deen; to love those who are obedient to Him and to come to their help. Moreover, the Shahadah "La Ilaha Illa Allah" requires us to ally ourselves for the sake of Allah, and it requires us to ally ourselves to the Muslims wherever we find them.
In two other authentic narrations of the Prophet (s.a.w.) we were commanded to keep company with a believer only(3), and told that a person will be with those he loves(4). So if we love and associate ourselves with those who are misguided, we should fear for our fate. The wise person is the one who prepares himself for the Hereafter, not the one who neglects his faith and falls into the trap of Satan who tells him that he will be forgiven and that he can do whatever he wishes. If we truly believe that the best speech is the Speech of Allah and that he best guidance is the guidance of Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.), we should act in accordance with them, lest we build a proof against ourselves. Ali (r.a.a.) said: "Mix with the noble people, you become one of them; and keep away from evil people to protect yourself from their evils." If we are truly concerned about our fate, we must come to this realisation: those who take us away from remembering Allah, from obeying Him and His Prophet (s.a.w.), those who fail to remind us of our daily prayers and those who do not give us sincere advice in regard to our Deen; such are really our foes and not our friends.
On the other side, a believer is the mirror of his brother"(5), and if he sees any faults in the other believer, he draws his attention to it, helps him to give it up and helps him wipe away any evil that he may have. Ibn Hazm said: Anyone who criticises you cares about your friendship. Anyone who makes light of your faults cares nothing about you."
How can we expect sincere advice and exhortation in regard to our religion from those who are displeased with our Deen or are simply indifferent? Are they going to help us achieve the purpose of our life, or will they take us away from it? Will they desire for us Allah's pleasure or is that Completely irrelevant to them and not their concern at all? Are they leading us to al-Jannah or to the Hellfire? These are the questions we have to ask ourselves, lest we wake up after we die.
"O you who believe! Take care of your own selves. If you follow the right guidance and enjoin what is right and forbid what is wrong no hurt can come to you from those who are in error. The return of you all is to Allah, then He will inform you about (all) that which you used to do." [5:105]
We ask Allah to make us of the righteous ones and give us companions that will take us away from His Wrath and lead us to His Pleasure and Paradise.
I am not sure what fitrah means, but I agree that it is probably not within our human ability to love everyone and see good in everyone ... but that doesn't mean that we shouldn't try, does it?format_quote Originally Posted by syilla
Of course we should be careful who we choose as friends, but that doesn't mean we should not try to be kind and caring to others, who are not our friends, does it?
Whilst I am writing this, it occurs to me that perhaps we are looking at the term 'love' differently. (That's easily done, because it can have so many meanings ...)
For the sake of this conversation, by 'loving all' I meant showing compassion, trying to understand (not necessarily agree with) somebody's position, being kind, being forgiving, trying to see the good in people despite their faults, etc.
It doesn't necessarily mean that we agree with the other person, aspire to be like them or like everything they say and do.
Does that clarify it some more?
Salaam
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