help needed plsss

[nisha_fav88]

Asalamu alaikum,

do any brothers or sisters here know wat dua's/prayers to make when going through extreme stress, am having so many problems wid my husband, i cnt tell my parents bcos A. i dnt want to upset them and B. they dnt want to know bcos they hve their own problems to worry abt,
seriousley i dnt hve anyone to turn to except ALLAH (swt) so was jus wondering if there anything special i can do.

many thnks/Jazakallah

[Eric H]

Greetings and peace be with you nisha_fav88; I am so sorry you are suffering, you are in my prayers.

Here is a simple yet powerful prayer, it is about striving to accept things that cannot be changed, and striving to change yourself.

Lord grant me the peace and serenity to live with the things I cannot change
Give me the courage to change the things I can.
And grant me the wisdom to know the difference.

The first line of the prayer is really important to live in peace with yourself and to live in serenity with all the things that you cannot change. Somehow you need to find ways to accept you cannot change your husband, your situation, and what has happened in the past. All the time you want to change the stuff that cannot be changed you become more anxious and it makes things worse.

The second line of the prayer, the courage to change the things that can be changed, the only thing that is within your power to change is what goes on in your own mind. Somehow you need to find ways to accept the problems, and find ways to cope in life.

The third line of the prayer is profound, it can take years of searching and striving, but it gives you hope.

To understand how the prayer works here is how one lady used it whilst living in London during the second world war. Most days London was being bombed, she had no control over were the bombs would land. She would hear about; and see the death and destruction; she might be killed, her family might be killed, her home or work or shops might be bombed. Yet every day she had to get up, feed herself and her family, and do some work.

The first line of the prayer, grant me the peace and serenity to live with the things I cannot change.
She had to live with all the injustice, fear, anger, hate, death and destruction surrounding her, she has no control where the bombs will land. She could not change what happened yesterday, she cannot change other people. If you continually want to change; or try to change the things that cannot be changed you will make yourself ill.

Give me the courage to change the things I can.
The only thing she could change was herself and what was going on in her own heart and mind. Somehow she would have to keep striving and coping or crack up, she did not know how long this destruction would last. Despite all the problems she directed her prayer to finding peace in her heart.

Give me the wisdom to know the difference.

The last line of the prayer is something you have to work out for yourself , you need to search for the real things that you can change; and strive to live with loving kindness with all the things you cannot change.

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a great mystery; Lord help me to live this day and every day knowing that you hold me in the palm of your hand.

In the spirit of praying to a loving and merciful God

Eric

[- IqRa -]

Hi Nisha,

Try and talk to your husband about the problems you are having with him, try and sort those problems and differences out between you.

If you cannot do that, then try and talk to a third person, e.g. a family friend/relative - someone that can give mutual advice without taking any sides and that can understand both sides of the situation/problem.

There are some duas that you can make for stress;



"O Allaah, it is Your mercy that I hope for, so do not leave me in charge of my affairs even for a blink of an eye and rectify for me all of my affairs. None has the right to be worshipped except You."



"To Allaah we belong and unto Him is our return. O Allaah, recompense me for my affliction and replace it for me with something better."

[ardianto]

Sister Nisha,
You must wake up in the midnight, then try to shalaat tahajood. You can make a du'a after shalaath tahajood.
Insha Allah, sister. Allah will show you the way to solve your problem.

[nisha_fav88]

thank you soo much for ur valuable advice Eric, T.I.A and Adianto, ur words mean so much to me. this is definatley the biggest trial Allah (swt) has given me and am really struggling to cope.