I have problems with sexual equality and islam...

[SisterKatya]

The koran states that men are superior to women. It says how it is right for a man to hit a woman if she is not obediant.

I have also read how a man may deny his wife food/ shelter if she is not a good wife. (I did not find this in the Koran it was in on a muslim site)

These things make me feel very uncomfortable.

Do sexual equality and islam go hand in hand?

I can understand that a man and a woman have different roles given to them by Allah. I can even understand the hijab/burkha and other coverings that woman are guided to wear in Islam. I consider myself conservative and think the man should be the head of the household but I feel the woman is equally as important only in a different way.

I am just finding it so hard to accept and also accepting why it is i should accept that I am inferiar to men. Perhaps it is that I am not of eastern culture and was born here in the west. In a country that woman suffered and fought so fiercesly for rights and the right to vote.

Perhaps I am ignorant, I do not know, I would like to hear other muslims views on this. It is some thing that is putting me off Islam but I want to understand through muslim eyes.

Thanks Katya

[- Qatada -]

asalaam alaikum sister katya.

The koran states that men are superior to women.

Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given the one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means.

Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in (the husband's) absence what Allah would have them guard. As to those women on whose part ye fear disloyalty and ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (Next), refuse to share their beds, (And last) beat them (lightly); but if they return to obedience, seek not against them Means (of annoyance): For Allah is Most High, great (above you all).

[Qur'an 4:36]

Men have more of a responsibility and duty to provide for the women, because they've been given extra strength etc. than them [generally speaking].

So this isn't saying that women are inferior, rather - its mentioning that men have been given more strength, so they've got more of a responsibility in providing for the woman.

It says how it is right for a man to hit a woman if she is not obediant.

Please refer to this thread;

Wife beating verse [4:34] - quick and simple reply

I have also read how a man may deny his wife food/ shelter if she is not a good wife. (I did not find this in the Koran it was in on a muslim site)

The person who says that has to provide proof from the Qur'an or Sunnah, otherwise - we don't need to accept their claim.

Do sexual equality and islam go hand in hand?

Men and women have different roles based on their gender, and the strengths and weaknesses which they have due to their gender. So you'll see that in Islam, its a duty for the husband to provide wealth for the women, and even if the wife is richer than the husband - she can keep her wealth without having to spend it on him, and if she does so - that will be charity on her behalf.

I can understand that a man and a woman have different roles given to them by Allah. I can even understand the hijab/burkha and other coverings that woman are guided to wear in Islam. I consider myself conservative and think the man should be the head of the household but I feel the woman is equally as important only in a different way.

You've got the right belief there, alhamdulillah.

I am just finding it so hard to accept and also accepting why it is i should accept that I am inferiar to men. Perhaps it is that I am not of eastern culture and was born here in the west. In a country that woman suffered and fought so fiercesly for rights and the right to vote.

You'll see that a woman is not inferior to a man in Islam, you'll even see that great women in our Islamic history have surpassed men; such as Maryam (Mary the mother of Jesus), Aasiya [the wife of Pharoah who became Muslim], Fatima bint Muhammad the Messenger of Allah, Khadija - the wife of the Messenger of Allah etc.

These women surpassed a huge population of men in our Islamic history.

Perhaps I am ignorant, I do not know, I would like to hear other muslims views on this. It is some thing that is putting me off Islam but I want to understand through muslim eyes.

Thanks Katya

I hope the above is satisfactory insha Allah. If you have more questions, please do ask.

[Tony]

Our prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) stated that if you can only afford to put one child through education that it should be a daughter

[- Qatada -]

I also recommend you check out this thread, it answers all your misconceptions in detail insha Allah;

Muslim Women

[SisterKatya]

Thank you for your guidance on my questions, it feel a lot lighter now and I will continue to try and understand more of Allahs wishes =) blessings to you

[Mikaela]

To make it simple, the qur'an does not say that any one is better than the other, we're equal but different and suited for different things. We both have responsibilities, and since the man is considered stronger, he should provide for the family while the woman, who by nature is more soft and patient (most of the time... hehe...) should take care of the home and children, which speaking of own experience, is no easy task.

When it comes to sexual equality in the real meaning of the word, both men and women have to make sure that their spouse is satisfied. It's not just the woman who should keep her husband happy, it goes the other way around too and within the boundaries of the marriage, a woman is completely seuxally free.

And the business of hitting the wife... Like someone already said, it's the very last resort if nothing else works, and should be more of a statement than a real hitting. The man isn't allowed to hit her in the face or to hit her hard enough to bruise her. The prophet Mohammed (SAW) said himself that "how can you beat your wife during the day and then share her bed in the evening?"...

[Layla454]

A lot of people miscontrue things and abuse the rights given to us. Marriage is about give and take, the husband and wife are garments for each other - they are not there to abuse each other.