i found out something so disgusting and disgraceful about my younger brother, i dont even know what to do. i dont want to look at him. so what shalll i do? should i tell my mum.? or should i keep it to myself. ive asked my friends and they just advised me to speak to my mum, but it will break her. but if i do then wont i get sinned as i should be covering his sins. im so confused. whats the islamic ruling on this kind of stuff. and btw i cant speak to him myself, theres no point trying or anything of the sort...
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Did you find this by lawful means or were you being sneaky yourself and breaking Allah's commandments of not spying on others? Your answer should lie in how honestly you answer this Q!
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Allahs Messenger (peace be upon him) said: "He, who relieves a hardship of this Dunya (world) for a believer, Allah will relieve (from him) a hardship of the Day of Resurrection; he who makes easy an indebted person, Allah will make it easy for him in the Dunya and the Hereafter; he who covers a Muslim (meaning his mistakes and shortcomings) , Allah will cover him in the Dunya and the Hereafter " [Sahih Muslim]
Learn Patience from Asiyah, Loyalty from Khadijah, Sincerity from Aisha and Steadfastness from Fatima.
^^ well said yanoorha.
A Muslim should advise and support, not backstab and hurt...
also I am still waiting to hear on whether this was found out by lawful means?
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i was being sneaky. but kind of not. i am not justifying how i found out. but i kind of knew it before but not confirmed. i cant explain. the sotory is long. i know about that ayah. but wtf dop i do man. its not that black and white. :@:@ im so confused
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49:12 O ye who believe! avoid suspicion as much (as possible): for suspicion in some cases is a sin: and spy not on each other, nor speak ill of each other behind their backs. Would any of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? Nay, ye would abhor it. But fear Allah: for Allah is Oft-Returning, Most-Merciful.
also your use of 'WTF' doesn't make you any better.. I can see you are not much better than you allege your brother with such manners...
pls forgive me for being harsh, but you should start with yourself before looking to the faults of others and exploiting it in a public fashion.. what do you hope to gain? will your brother be better after you've ratted him out? or will he resent you and not heed your advise?
Last edited by جوري; 07-12-2009 at 06:18 PM.
Text without context is pretext If your opponent is of choleric temperament, seek to irritate him
Allahs Messenger (peace be upon him) said: "He, who relieves a hardship of this Dunya (world) for a believer, Allah will relieve (from him) a hardship of the Day of Resurrection; he who makes easy an indebted person, Allah will make it easy for him in the Dunya and the Hereafter; he who covers a Muslim (meaning his mistakes and shortcomings) , Allah will cover him in the Dunya and the Hereafter " [Sahih Muslim]
Agreed. Allah doesn't like the sins of Muslims to be exposed.
‘Say: If the ocean were ink wherewith to write out the words of my Lord, sooner would the ocean be exhausted, even if We added another ocean like it.’~Al Qu'raan (18:109)
I think we all understand the definition of sins and we know it runs the gamut, I don't know however if you understand the meaning of the verses and ahadith here.. Are you God to judge? if Allah means for him to be punished for his egregious sins, he'll find a way to expose him by lawful means and not by way of another sin .. perhaps Allah swt is giving him a chance to repent and you to be a better Muslim...
I hope you understand, I never took kindly to people who speak poorly of their kin. so perhaps I am biased in that regard but you did ask for a fast reply, and my reply is given.. if you don't like it, then perhaps you didn't want a reply to begin with, since everyone here seems to be giving you an opinion along the same lines!
Text without context is pretext If your opponent is of choleric temperament, seek to irritate him
49:12 O ye who believe! avoid suspicion as much (as possible): for suspicion in some cases is a sin: and spy not on each other, nor speak ill of each other behind their backs. Would any of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? Nay, ye would abhor it. But fear Allah: for Allah is Oft-Returning, Most-Merciful.
also your use of 'WTF' doesn't make you any better.. I can see you are not much better than you allege your brother with such manners...
pls forgive me for being harsh, but you should start with yourself before looking to the faults of others and exploiting it in a public fashion.. what do you hope to gain? will your brother be better after you've ratted him out? or will he resent you and not heed your advise?
how dare you judge me like that? excuse yourself. how can you even compare me to what he has done. if i wanted to exploit it in a public fashion, i would have posted this up on my username and broadcasted it exactly how low you think i am? harsh? it disgusts me that i come here on thisfor advise and get criticised from people like yourself. look i am NOT justifying what i have done to find out, you dont know me to make a freaking comment like that. i'm not trying to 'rat' him out. do you not get that i need advise hence i come post this? and what a wickad person you are, tryna level up two VERY different sins and saying i'm as wurse than him, even though you dont know what he has done.
are you giving advise? lol. funny.
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I think we all understand the definition of sins and we know it runs the gamut, I don't know however if you understand the meaning of the verses and ahadith here.. Are you God to judge? if Allah means for him to be punished for his egregious sins, he'll find a way to expose him by lawful means and not by way of another sin .. perhaps Allah swt is giving him a chance to repent and you to be a better Muslim...
I hope you understand, I never took kindly to people who speak poorly of their kin. so perhaps I am biased in that regard but you did ask for a fast reply, and my reply is given.. if you don't like it, then perhaps you didn't want a reply to begin with, since everyone here seems to be giving you an opinion along the same lines!
did i say i am GOD? wth is wrong with people like you? so quick to tap a few keys and post stuff like this up? i wanted to UNDERSTAND the ayah, hence why i asked this question. why do you think so ill of people?
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so, what did he do that's so disgusting etc?
if it affects someone other than him, you should be very concerned, try to council/advise in the best way you see fit to, or bring it up to someone who can actually help.
if it doesn't concern anyone other than him, it's your duty still to offer him help and support, if you can't talk to him normally about it, do it indirectly.
how dare you judge me like that? excuse yourself. how can you even compare me to what he has done. if i wanted to exploit it in a public fashion, i would have posted this up on my username and broadcasted it exactly how low you think i am? harsh? it disgusts me that i come here on thisfor advise and get criticised from people like yourself. look i am NOT justifying what i have done to find out, you dont know me to make a freaking comment like that. i'm not trying to 'rat' him out. do you not get that i need advise hence i come post this? and what a wickad person you are, tryna level up two VERY different sins and saying i'm as wurse than him, even though you dont know what he has done.
are you giving advise? lol. funny.
I am not judging you at all, I am giving you a taste of how your brother would feel subsequent to you going to your mother.
I think ample advise was given you to speak to your brother before ratting him out.. what do you call going to your mother about what he has done which you out of your own admittance acquired through unlawful means? discipline?
Going to your mother is going public with it a sin between one is bad enough, between two, is horrible, between three is public knowledge.
indeed, maybe I am horrible, maybe you are who knows? I do hope thatAllah swt would make your brother a better sibling to you than you are to him at the moment!
all the best
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We're only trying to offer our opinions on the matter to try and help you. Of course I don't know the situation first hand. But have you spoken to your bro about this? Give him a chance to change his ways and maybe you as a family can come out better as a result.
Fe Amaanillah.
‘Say: If the ocean were ink wherewith to write out the words of my Lord, sooner would the ocean be exhausted, even if We added another ocean like it.’~Al Qu'raan (18:109)
i dont want to say, as theres memebers on this board that i have spoken to that know about the situation. my intention is not to expose him nor to be so vindictive and approach my mum, its not my kind of thing to do something like that. ^ bro its the best reply ive seen. jazakallah. how would i talk to him about it though when i cant even look at him. he is close to my mum hence why i think shel only be the one to have an affect on him. hell turn a blind eye towards me, or twist the story. i cant think of anyone who can advise him, we havent really got a father figure or someone older that would talk some sense into him. the only way hell turn back is probably out of guiilt or realising his mistakes, something that can only be done if someone speaks to him. i dont know what i can say. i cant bare to look at him.
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It is difficult to advise you on whether to tell your mother or speak to your brother or keep it quiet, as we do not know your situation and are fearful of making it worse...
Perhaps there is indeed another side of the story? How do you know that your version of the event is the true version of events?
you should tell him, I know something awful about you, and it hurts me, that my own sibling would commit such an egregious sin.. I thought I'd talk to you about it first before going to mother perhaps you can mend your ways and find your path back to Allah..
perhaps this would be the turning point in your relationship?
I don't think you telling anyone else would fix anything at all.. might actually ruin his relationship with your mother... what an awful thing that would be!
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