Many people claim that wife beating is allowed or encouraged in islam. They use several quotes from the Quran. When I asked my mom, she immediately said it was haram (prohibited), she denounced it. I was wondering is someone could clarify or discuss wife beating.
Many people claim that wife beating is allowed or encouraged in islam. They use several quotes from the Quran. When I asked my mom, she immediately said it was haram (prohibited), she denounced it. I was wondering is someone could clarify or discuss wife beating.
Thank you, Ramadan Mubarak
It is haram in the islam to beat your wife and you must be good to her and always Allah SWT mention about it in the Koran and our prophet Mohammed SAAS treated very very nice his wife .
I think you get confusd in one surah about you can beat your wife but not real beating only to make her afraid to do so if she refuse to make love with you thats all part from that it is haram to beat the wife
Islam does not encourage beating one's wife, at all. The only condition where it is permissible to do so is in a very very bad circumstance.
"According to the Qur'an the relationship between the husband and wife should be based on mutual love and kindness. Allah says: "And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect." (Ar-Rum: 21)
The Qur'an urges husbands to treat their wives with kindness. [In the event of a family dispute, the Qur'an exhorts the husband to treat his wife kindly and not to overlook her positive aspects]. Allah Almighty says: “Live with them on a footing of kindness and equity. If ye take a dislike to them it may be that ye dislike a thing, and Allah brings about through it a great deal of good.” (An-Nisa’: 19)
It is important that a wife recognizes the authority of her husband in the house. He is the head of the household, and she is supposed to listen to him. But the husband should also use his authority with respect and kindness towards his wife. If there arises any disagreement or dispute among them, then it should be resolved in a peaceful manner. Spouses should seek the counsel of their elders and other respectable family members and friends to batch up the rift and solve the differences.
However, in some cases a husband may use some light disciplinary action in order to correct the moral infraction of his wife, but this is only applicable in extreme cases and it should be resorted to if one is sure it would improve the situation. However, if there is a fear that it might worsen the relationship or may wreak havoc on him or the family, then he should avoid it completely.
The Qur'an is very clear on this issue. Almighty Allah says: "Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given the one more strength than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient and guard in the husband's absence what Allah would have them to guard. As to those women on whose part you fear disloyalty and ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (next), refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly); but if they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance); for Allah is most High and Great (above you all). If you fear a breach between them twain, appoint (two) arbiters, one from his family and the other from hers. If they wish for peace, Allah will cause their reconciliation; for Allah has full knowledge and is acquainted with all things." (An-Nisa': 34-35)
It is important to read the section fully. One should not take part of the verse and use it to justify one's own misconduct. This verse neither permits violence nor condones it. It guides us to ways to handle delicate family situation with care and wisdom. The word "beating" is used in the verse, but it does not mean "physical abuse". The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) explained it "dharban ghayra mubarrih" which means "a light tap that leaves no mark". He further said that face must be avoided. Some other scholars are of the view that it is no more than a light touch by siwak, or toothbrush.
Generally, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) used to discourage his followers from taking even this measure. He never hit any female, and he used to say that the best of men are those who do not hit their wives. In one hadith he expressed his extreme repulsion from this behavior and said, "How does anyone of you beat his wife as he beats the stallion camel and then embrace (sleep with) her?” (Al-Bukhari, English Translation, vol. 8, Hadith 68, pp. 42-43)
It is also important to note that even this "light strike" mentioned in the verse is not to be used to correct some minor problem, but it is permissible to resort to only in a situation of some serious moral misconduct when admonishing the wife fails, and avoiding from sleeping with her would not help. If this disciplinary action can correct a situation and save the marriage, then one should use it."
I believe what I have taken from a reliable source, is sufficient to answer your question. So it is allowed only lightly to hit her physically, but thats the very last resort. When her disobeidence towards her husband and marital obiligations are ignored and her bad habits do not change at all. But even then, you should not use physical means to correct her, there are other ways to deal with the situation .
It is haram in the islam to beat your wife and you must be good to her and always Allah SWT mention about it in the Koran and our prophet Mohammed SAAS treated very very nice his wife .
I think you get confusd in one surah about you can beat your wife but not real beating only to make her afraid to do so if she refuse to make love with you thats all part from that it is haram to beat the wife
Ramadan Mubarak Karim Inshallah
Sis, i don't believe you can state "haraam" unless an imaam or scholar says so. And they haven't said "it is haraam", that means forbidden. You may, beat her slightly, when I say that, i mean slightly as in slightly, a tap or something I suppose. The violent beating as in some men do....that is totally unacceptable.
The Possibilities in Islam are limitless.
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Sis, i don't believe you can state "haraam" unless an imaam or scholar says so. And they haven't said "it is haraam", that means forbidden. You may, beat her slightly, when I say that, i mean slightly as in slightly, a tap or something I suppose. The violent beating as in some men do....that is totally unacceptable.
Why should i wait for a imam or scholar to tell me if it is haram or halal , Im muslim hamdollah i read koran in arabic and understand the meaning in arabic as iam arab origin so i know what im saying.
Our prophet Mohammed SAAS never beat his wifes , as i said you can beat her slightly only to make her afraid in one case if she refuse to make love with you as a husband thats all.
You see in Christianity divorce is not permitted at all. In Islam it is,but it's disliked by Allah. So, the couple should try their best to keep their marrage.
In this case a man can HIT not BEAT his wife after he has tried all verbal and communicational attempts. The Qur'an says like sleeping in the separate beds...
If things don't work out then you shall divorce.
There are verses in the Qur'an that prohibit man from harrasing woman etc...
what the holy quran says about woman [for those who criticize islam] bismila hira hman ira him [i know didnt spell it right]
AND FOR WOMAN ARE RIGHTS OVER MAN SIMILAR TO THOSE OF MAN OVER WOMAN [2:226]
the Quran admonishes those men who oppress or ill treat woman: bismilahirahmanirahim O you who believe! you are forbidden to inherit woman against their will. Nor should you treat them with harshness,that you may take away part of the dowry you have given them -except when they have become guilty of open lewdness. On the contrary live with them on a footing of kindness and equity.if you takea dislike to them, it may be that you dislike something and Allah will bring about through it a great deal of good.
Originally Posted by touba
It is haram in the islam to beat your wife and you must be good to her and always Allah SWT mention about it in the Koran and our prophet Mohammed SAAS treated very very nice his wife .
I think you get confusd in one surah about you can beat your wife but not real beating only to make her afraid to do so if she refuse to make love with you thats all part from that it is haram to beat the wife
Ramadan Mubarak Karim Inshallah
It's confusing when you say, it's haram to beat wife but ok to beat her lightly. It suggests that a husband may just go ahead and beat his wife at any time of her refusal of his maritals rights. This is not so. In the case of a wife unjustifiably, withholding the husbands right in the marital bed, he first has to admonish her and remind her of Allah's punishment. If she continues to disobey him he should leave the marital bed and not speak to her for three days. If after that she persists in disobedience to him, he should strike her lightly; the strike being the equivalent of tapping with a miswak.
Prophet Muhammad (P) discouraged this measure. Among his sayings are the following: "Do not beat the female servants of Allah;" "Some (women) visited my family complaining about their husbands (beating them). These (husbands) are not the best of you;" and"[It is not a shame that] one of you beats his wife like [an unscrupulous person] beats a slave and maybe he sleeps with her at the end of the day." (See Riyadh Al-Saliheen, op.cit,p.p. 137-140). In another hadith the Prophet(P) said:
...How does anyone of you beat his wife as he beats the stallion camel and then he may embrace (sleep with) her?... (Sahih Al-Bukhari,op.cit., vol.8.hadith 68,pp.42-43).
From an outsider's point of view this all looks deeply unsettling. It is impossible to say for sure exactly what the Qur'an means when it says "beat them", but people can and do interpret the verse themselves.
format_quote Originally Posted by limitless
However, in some cases a husband may use some light disciplinary action in order to correct the moral infraction of his wife, but this is only applicable in extreme cases and it should be resorted to if one is sure it would improve the situation. However, if there is a fear that it might worsen the relationship or may wreak havoc on him or the family, then he should avoid it completely.
Surely a violent man who feels like beating his wife might well be convinced in that moment that it's going to improve the situation? That doesn't make it right.
It is important to read the section fully. One should not take part of the verse and use it to justify one's own misconduct. This verse neither permits violence nor condones it.
It permits and condones beating.
It guides us to ways to handle delicate family situation with care and wisdom. The word "beating" is used in the verse, but it does not mean "physical abuse". The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) explained it "dharban ghayra mubarrih" which means "a light tap that leaves no mark".
It's possible to hit someone quite hard without leaving a mark. If no mark is left on an abused woman, it's her word against his on how hard the beating was.
He further said that face must be avoided. Some other scholars are of the view that it is no more than a light touch by siwak, or toothbrush.
It is staggering to think that these scholars believe that a tap with a toothbrush is going to work as some kind of discipline method.
The bottom line is: large numbers of men could come away from a reading of the Qur'an convinced that god has told them it's OK to beat their wives. They may be wrong in their belief, but why would an omniscient god allow them such a dangerous loophole like this?
so sister if your husband beats your you are fine with it ?
beating and hiting are both the same
if a wife does wrong try to hit her like in the movies in a joking way and i am sure she will like it too
Please read my other post.
Beating is different from hiting!
A good Muslim husband would not beat his wife for no reason. If I desearved it than that would remind me to become better. It is necessary sometimes, it depends on how the wife is.
Please, just because you think that something is wrong doesn't mean it is.
'Warfare is ordained for you, though it is hateful unto you; but it may happen that ye hate a thing which is good for you, and it may happen that ye love a thing which is bad for you. Allah knoweth, ye know not."
format_quote Originally Posted by Scents of Jannah
It's confusing when you say, it's haram to beat wife but ok to beat her lightly. It suggests that a husband may just go ahead and beat his wife at any time of her refusal of his maritals rights. This is not so. In the case of a wife unjustifiably, withholding the husbands right in the marital bed, he first has to admonish her and remind her of Allah's punishment. If she continues to disobey him he should leave the marital bed and not speak to her for three days. If after that she persists in disobedience to him, he should strike her lightly; the strike being the equivalent of tapping with a miswak.
Sister the koran is clear and you can beat your wife only if she refuse the husband in the bed part of that is not allowed to beat or hit the wife but if she does zina then it should be stoned .
It is staggering to think that these scholars believe that a tap with a toothbrush is going to work as some kind of discipline method.
I think it is more of a warning. If that fails to work the husband could take further action such as divorce etc. I don't think it is for discipline.
Last edited by GuestFellow; 08-21-2009 at 03:02 PM.
I was looking at myself talking to myself and I realized this conversation...I was having with myself looking at myself was a conversation with myself that I needed to have with myself.
i think beating on the bed part is a kind of rape on the wife just what i think
format_quote Originally Posted by touba
Sister the koran is clear and you can beat your wife only if she refuse the husband in the bed part of that is not allowed to beat or hit the wife but if she does zina then it should be stoned .
From an outsider's point of view this all looks deeply unsettling. It is impossible to say for sure exactly what the Qur'an means when it says "beat them", but people can and do interpret the verse themselves
.
No offence, but aren't you also being one of those who interpret the verses themselves? The Quran states we must offer salah (daily prayers) but doesn't give details of it. These, as well as the details of disciplining the wife, are explained in the hadiths of the Prophet (saw). I take you have read when, where and how the term the 'beating' applies?
Surely a violent man who feels like beating his wife might well be convinced in that moment that it's going to improve the situation? That doesn't make it right.
Any man who implements the teachings of Islam in his life, would not be violent to his wife or anyone else in the first place, and would know his limits. Whatsmore is, a non religious man isn't going to beat his wife to 'improve' a situation but to punish her. And we have those in all walks of life.
It permits and condones beating.
No, you think the translation permits and condones it. As bro Limitless, stated, 'The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) explained it "dharban ghayra mubarrih" which means "a light tap that leaves no mark".
It's possible to hit someone quite hard without leaving a mark. If no mark is left on an abused woman, it's her word against his on how hard the beating was.
Where are you trying to go with this? It's been explained with evidence that a man may not beat his wife; ie. hit her hard. So, what you're saying has nothing to do with being permissability in Islam.
It is staggering to think that these scholars believe that a tap with a toothbrush is going to work as some kind of discipline method.
With all due respect, you cannot understand the mindset of a woman, like the Creator or a woman herself can.
It may shock you to know that, if I, was a rebellious, disobedient and disrespectful wife, a light tap from my husband would leave me highly feeling embarrassed and humiliated, and questioning my actions that lead to him taking that action, whereas a hard beating would lead me to retaliate. If my husband, sulked and skulked, and only admonished m verbally, I'd probably think him to be weak and pathetic. But tapping me, without transgressing his limits and beating the life out of me would show me he has authority and that I would respect. The wisdom behind the rulings may not be clear at first glance, but sometimes you need delve into the psychological perspective to understand. I am telling you, as a woman, this form of discipline would be effective.
The bottom line is: large numbers of men could come away from a reading of the Qur'an convinced that god has told them it's OK to beat their wives. They may be wrong in their belief, but why would an omniscient god allow them such a dangerous loophole like this?
They probably will, which is not due to any fault in the Qur'an but from ignorance of the person themselves. Knowledge, knowledge, knowledge, is what every muslim is advised to seek. Until that happens, misconceptions will continue to lead to actions which Islam strictly prohibits.
Sister the koran is clear and you can beat your wife only if she refuse the husband in the bed part of that is not allowed to beat or hit the wife but if she does zina then it should be stoned .
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and i am sure she will like it too
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