AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu
Ive been stressing out the last couple of days. And i need loads of advice.
People are spreading rumours about the wedding and its not just 1, but its from A to Z and its stressing me out. The rumours are becoming widespread and issues are building up.
So far i have been ignoring it, and just swallowing my tongue, and trying my best to protect my family and theirs.
what kinda rumors about YOUR wedding? well maybe they are just jealous?
dont let it get you down. they probably jsut dont have any lives and want to focus on yours if they are making stuff up
Our Lord! Verily, we have heard the call of one calling to Faith: 'Believe in your Lord,' and we have believed.
Our Lord! Forgive us our sins and expiate from us our evil deeds, and make us die (in the state of righteousness) along with Al-Abrar
there is a hadith that states.
Ista3ino 3la qada'a umorikoum bel'kitman.. pls don't ask me to source it, someone on this forum more knowledgeable and handy in fiqh should find it insha'Allah..
in a nutshell and to translate:
When you are about to do something major, keep quiet about it.. it is really the best way to safeguard against everything, from envy, to hatred to back talk to unwanted comments or rumors.. Much as I'd love to believe that this small community represents Muslims at large, it isn't.. there are evil folks out there and they come in all shapes, sizes and religions..
Text without context is pretext If your opponent is of choleric temperament, seek to irritate him
Are the rumors affecting the way your future wife and in laws think about you? In that case, you should just get your family to sit down and talk to them and explain to them the reality of whatever the situation and let them ask whatever questions they have so that their hearts and minds are at ease. If it's not affecting how they think about you, then as hard as it is I'd just ignore what people have to say. Take comfort in the fact that whatever people say about you that is negative is a reward awaiting you in the akhira.
"...You are my Walî in this world and in the Hereafter. Cause me to die as a Muslim, and join me with the righteous." [Surah Yusuf 101]
there is more evil out there then good. they might just be jealous.
jealousy gets the better of some people that they do all sorts of things and it would surprise you,
its always the one who ud least expect the one closest to you.
You see this is one of the problems you people face when you do engagement.
engagement plays no part in islam. i mean you are just boasting to the world that you are going to get married thats what engagement is and then the people wonder but why am i getting bad eyes.
why am i inflicted with magic why are so many problems happening for me. why has the girl left me. why has my guy slept with another girl. why has my fiance took interest in another man and the list goes on. its the evil eye i am telling you.
mabe if you would have went through with the marriage and not wait and not broadcast it to the community for them to spread rumours. people would not have these problems that they are facing right not. suffering from the evil eye.
engagements are inviting trouble thats all that is! don't get me wrong but i am not bashing you in any way.
But just think for a second.
look if you really want to protect yourself from all this unwanted atention then id suggest you do things the islamic way. the only people that needs to know is your precious family.
Najm sorry to hear this, I am not suggesting its right for you but if it was me and I knew the source of the problem, then I would take someone as witness and meet the gossiper head on and end it right there, not easy but maybe for me it would be the right thing to protect the bride to be and the perfect day. May Allah give you strength and patience brother, Ameen
"O ye who belive! Endure, outdo all others in endurance, be ready, and observe your duty to Allah, in order that you may succeed"
There's always going to be a bunch of people who try and ruin things for others, don't let them get in the way, anywayz, I don't really know what you're talking about, I haven't heard anything,
Be positive, hope you're ok!
"Whoever lives amongst you will see much differing, so adhere to my Sunnah" Muhammad (صلّى الله عليه و سلم)
AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu
Ive been stressing out the last couple of days. And i need loads of advice.
People are spreading rumours about the wedding and its not just 1, but its from A to Z and its stressing me out. The rumours are becoming widespread and issues are building up.
So far i have been ignoring it, and just swallowing my tongue, and trying my best to protect my family and theirs.
Brothers and sisters what shall i do?
FiAmaaniAllah
Asslamu Alikaum.
I remember at school and at college ''friends'' and other students used to spread rumours about me resulting in becoming pretty much disliked. Those who I got along with were always suspicious of me. Some people used to stare at me and others made funny comments about me when I walked past them.
I'm afraid the only thing you can do is ignore them. There is nothing you can do. People always talk about other people and make them look bad. These people got nothing better to do. Don't make it become your problem.
The more you try and confront these people, the worse it gets. This is what happened to me when I tried to confront a few students who kept on talking about me. So forget these sad people.
Just think about your wedding preparations.
I was looking at myself talking to myself and I realized this conversation...I was having with myself looking at myself was a conversation with myself that I needed to have with myself.
AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu
Well id love to list the problems but i cant, i would have in the brothers section though, not that its a brotherly issue.
I like Sky's advice that i should have let it out. LOL, funny enough the only people i told is the community of LI. Some of my friends know through people etcetra etcetra but i havent announced it myself.
Anyways im feeling depressed as it is. I didnt really need to ignore it so far, because they are talking behind my back, and some have told me directly and they just put me down, even when i justify it!!!
What i also noticed is that even if the majority is wrong, they stll end of winning
Also someone suggested to do it the islamic way. SubhaanAllah, if i was running the show then it would the islamic way! But aint running, the elderlys are! All they worry about is culture and custom!!
Anyways i never get angry, and i should stop before i do. Alhamdulillah!!
Its common bro.. bad people are everywhere.. just be brave
What?! Its common? I never really cared about what people say, but it doesnt affect you its about the family, and i have to swallow my tongue
format_quote Originally Posted by Pk_#2
WassalamAlaykum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh,
What's wrong akhE, don't be sad, please,
There's always going to be a bunch of people who try and ruin things for others, don't let them get in the way, anywayz, I don't really know what you're talking about, I haven't heard anything,
Be positive, hope you're ok!
UhktE nice to hear from you. Hows your health? What are the doctors saying?
UhktE dont forget to make dua because dua is accepted from an ill person, a fasting person and time of iftar. And you maybe doing all 3.
Dont worry about me, Allah will protect our family, inshaAllah! FiAmaaniAllah
What?! Its common? I never really cared about what people say, but it doesnt affect you its about the family, and i have to swallow my tongue
Yes bro i have seen such things in my family weddings .. people just like gossips and spreading rumours , they might be jealous or who know they might just be pure idiots.
AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu
Well id love to list the problems but i cant, i would have in the brothers section though, not that its a brotherly issue.
I like Sky's advice that i should have let it out. LOL, funny enough the only people i told is the community of LI. Some of my friends know through people etcetra etcetra but i havent announced it myself.
Anyways im feeling depressed as it is. I didnt really need to ignore it so far, because they are talking behind my back, and some have told me directly and they just put me down, even when i justify it!!!
What i also noticed is that even if the majority is wrong, they stll end of winning
Also someone suggested to do it the islamic way. SubhaanAllah, if i was running the show then it would the islamic way! But aint running, the elderlys are! All they worry about is culture and custom!!
Anyways i never get angry, and i should stop before i do. Alhamdulillah!!
FiAmaaniAllah
Salaam.
I'm not entirely sure how to help you but I think you need to find someone who you can trust. Find someone who you can talk to and tell them what is going on. Don't keep it all bottled up. It is not healthy. Maybe you should tell your parents or a close relative.
Yes the things they say are hurtful however you need to be in control of your emotions. Don't let other people put you down. Look at the positive aspects of life. Many people would do anything to be in your position.
People who backbite about others are probably insecure about themselves, bored or too proud that they feel need to critique others. What goes around comes around. These people will get a taste of their own medicine.
Yes don't let your anger take control over you. When people say hurtful you can behave quite unpredictably and personally I ended up getting into fights.
I will continue to do dua for you!
I was looking at myself talking to myself and I realized this conversation...I was having with myself looking at myself was a conversation with myself that I needed to have with myself.
AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu
I didnt sleep last night, but by morning i was feeling better. These people never affected my life, yet they want to affect my marriage, which seems very strange. Anyways i know i am old enough to handle the responsibility no matter what anyone says.
Lots of things are out of my control, so i cant do anything but be patient, and Allah will deal with all if my matters.
AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu
I had more of my brothers "friends" tell me their feelings after tarawih! < i aint really that sad anymore, actually i am, i am sad for them. They clearly have little knowledge of what islam teaches us regarding marriage. At least i tried to break that ignorance barrier today. Nevertheless it hurts me
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. The rumours are becoming widespread and issues are building up.
AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhuShe got really annoyed.
and punish them for spreading false info. Like in the story of IFK.
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