How to Live a Life WITHOUT Regrets

[hamza25]

Salaam Aleikum,

I'm a pretty smart guy. But there is a lot of pressure for me to succeed, two years ago, I slipped, I partied and such - but this brief, and done once.

Shortly after that my life seemed to fall apart, like I was being punished. I have been trying to pick myself up, but I keep going in a downward spiral.

It use to be that in the past anything I was involved with would turn into "Gold", now I fail at everything I attempt to do.

I have asked Allah for forgiveness, and am trying to be a better person. But I keep getting reminded that I screwed up, I wasted my last two years.

I get depressed, whenever I think of how much time i've wasted.

I try not to think of the past and move forward, but I am not very forgiving of myself and keep blaming myself.

How can I learn to live a regret free life and think more positively about the future. and ask Allah for guidance and repentance

[Bub]

be patient, make a lot of du'a and esp now, here is a blessed month of Ramadaan and do not give up, brother. remember this world is a test, bro! everybody is not perfect so keep ask to Allah 2 forgive ur sins.

[Ramadhan]

Brother, your story is similar to mine, although I slipped and strayed far far longer than just two years.

After I graduated from university, I made a lot of mistakes and I turned away from Islam and living a life that I would never fully describe to anyone, because it was such shameful. Since then my life has been such a roller coaster ride of extremely high and low points, and I think it has been quite a punishment (I actually hope it was a punishment, because I cannot imagine what punishment it would be in the akhirat if I am not punished in this dunya). I am now living a life that I and everybody who knows me think is way under my potentials (I won many academic accolades during school), in terms of professional and worldly successes. I am still living out the consequences of multiple bad choices I have made over the years.

Early this year I finally climbed up from my downwards spiral into the abyss. And it was such a deep dark abyss, trust me, that had I died during those time, there is no doubt I would have gone straight to hell. I am still crying with much regrets every time I recall how bad I was during those time.
But Alhamdulillah, Allah still has mercy on me, he showed me hidayah.

Finally I got my act together, I completely stopped doing anything which is sinful. I purged off of me and my environment anything that is harmful, sinful, makruh, haraam, literally and metaphorically speaking. I keep my distance from bad influence people and make new friends who are much better persons in front of Allah. I asked forgiveness from Allah constantly. I made a lot of istighfar, performed many nafl and sunnah sholat, sunnah fastings and other acts of charity and kindness that I hope would be accepted by Allah.

I also set out to fulfill any obligations or vows that I had forgotten to fulfill in the past, to my family, friends and Allah. And I constantly try to be a better person with each and passing day. But it is important to do all that with ikhlas, to be sincere that we do it because of Allah.

I still have so many regrets, and so many “what ifs” questions in my mind. What if I hadn’t done this, what if I hadn’t done that. But it’s all in the past, I cannot change it. I try to accept how things are as best as I could, and make the best out of current situation, and Insya Allah things will keep changing for the better.

I think it is important for you that you count your blessings. To always thank Allah for all his rahmat. Think about it, you slipped for only two years, and you survived. Maybe now you are experiencing plenty failures, but aren’t failures give you experience that would become foundation for your future successes. And if you think you recent failures as your punishments, then look at it from the bright side: the punishments may be a way to expiate you sins. Wouldn’t it be better for us to be punished in this world than in the next?

I understand that you were such a high achiever and that it is hard to accept that you failed in any endeavor that you set out for. To be able to have a regret-free life, you need to learn to be ikhlas and to accept things as they are. Only with acceptance, you can move forward.

It is also useful to think about other people who are dealt with worse cards in life. Think of those who are less fortunate than you, and try to give help to those people. And most important, have some sabr/patience, because it is a virtue that Allah required us to have to able to attain success in this world and hereafter.

[Sampharo]

Salaam Aleikum,

I'm a pretty smart guy. But there is a lot of pressure for me to succeed, two years ago, I slipped, I partied and such - but this brief, and done once.

Shortly after that my life seemed to fall apart, like I was being punished. I have been trying to pick myself up, but I keep going in a downward spiral.

It use to be that in the past anything I was involved with would turn into "Gold", now I fail at everything I attempt to do.

I have asked Allah for forgiveness, and am trying to be a better person. But I keep getting reminded that I screwed up, I wasted my last two years.

I get depressed, whenever I think of how much time i've wasted.

I try not to think of the past and move forward, but I am not very forgiving of myself and keep blaming myself.

How can I learn to live a regret free life and think more positively about the future. and ask Allah for guidance and repentance

I think you may wish to consider that the lesson you were supposed to learn is NOT about you shouldn't play around. It may be because you thought (and apparently still think) that YOU are the one who makes things happen, whatever you touch turns to "Gold" like you said. THAT is what you're being taught I believe and I think you're still suffering because you haven't accepted that lesson yet.

God is the provider, not your skills. Qaroon was smashed into earth with all his money because he used to say "I amassed this wealth with my skills and cleverness". Your skills are a tool provided to make things easy, but if God wishes you will not meet success.

Considering THAT as your probable problem, ask God for forgiveness, and begin to walk the Earth the way we subjects of God are truly worth, as a surrenderer to God's will and his ordainment.

My business and endeavours began returning to normality when I did that.