I recently moved into a new home. It is a very nice home but I am really not the type of person to brag about it or to put people down for it. I am so grateful to Allah and my parents for making this lifestyle possible to me.
I have been inviting my friends over all the time to let them enjoy the comfort of my home. I am NEVER rude to anyone in or out of my house, i always treat people with respect and with the best intentions. There is one guy who came over recently with another friend.
We've had our ups and downs, me and this guy mainly because last year when I was living in a place next to his he would keep trying to bring up my material wealth around other people in impolite and impudent ways so i kept my distance until he admitted to it and said he would stop.
Fast forward one year and i have my new home (Alhamdulillah). This guy comes in my house and we're watching TV when he slaps my brother on the hand as if it were a nervous twitch or reaction to something. Naturally my brother lets it go and doesnt take meaning to it. Then he would stand up in front of me in subtle ways like checking his pockets for items that are not really there, really taking his time, as to block my vision from the TV, while looking in the corner of his eyes to see if i react. This happened more than four times but i just let him do it not getting agitated myself.
I then ask everyone if they want something to eat so i head to my kitchen and get everyone food only he refuses. As i sit back down in the television room he then says "Actually i do want some" smiling, waiting for me to get up and get it for him but i didnt so he got up himself.
He then proceeded to eat his food in a really loud obvious manner turning over to look at me each time but naturally i was calm and didnt pay attention to it which seemed to agitate him more.
He then lit up a cigarette, and numerous times we have told him that it makes the house smell but he is welcome to do it as long as we keep the windows open. He starts smoking literally trying to blow the smoke all around him so i opened the windows and he tells me not to but its my home so i do it anyway. Again not getting agitated.
He spills some of his food on my new carpet (whether this was on purpose or not i do not know) but approached me and tells me he wants something to clean it up with (While giving a very cheeky smile).
I really dont have hate towards the guy, ive always been so nice to him but hes admitted hes been bullied by other people i dont know in his previous years before him.
I just find it upsetting why a friend would act like this towards another friend? Envy just oozes out of him, i have no reason to hate other people and he should have no reason to envy me if he is more than welcome to enjoy the things i have. The thing is he comes from a similar background to me, he is not poor.
He is respectful to those who treat him like dirt, yet when i treat him with such kindness he tries to step all over me and bring out his envious side. Its just such an evil characteristic and you can really sense the vibes.
Im not going to be rude and tell him i'm not going to want to see him ever again because its very sad to see something like envy consume someones heart like that.. and at least dont put negative attention towards people who are NICE to you... i really dont understand that, it doesnt make sense!!!
Can someone please advise me on what i can do.. I cant let him keep doing this.
Harold Coffin once said ""Envy is the art of counting the other fellow's blessings instead of your own"...
He isnt a friend. You have the right to refuse to allow him in your home if he is behaving badly. Just my opinion.
Im not as well versed in islamic rules as some of the other posters, so i hope my advice doesnt go against the grain. I just find this guys behavior incredibly rude.
brother i am sure you are very nice and you are kind. you let people take advantage of you because you are afraid of being cruel and rude.
i use to be like that also but i realised i was not getting the same treatment back. people kept telling me you need to learn how to be a bit more less sensitive to people's feelings. there is always a limit. dont let people walk all over you.
you are allowed to be straight forward sometimes. i think this brother is envious of you and i think hes putting on an act also to cover it up!
i think you should still invite him over but if he tries any of those things again you should tell him look if you cannot keep this place clean and you want to smoke, the door is their!!! you can get out if want to act the ignorant with me! learn how to be straight forward with people if you see something you don't like or you feel uncomfortable. they will know there limits trust me
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