Good news, but not to me....:(

[AnonymousPoster]

Hope everyone is doing well.

I am feeling so sad and upset over the most ridiculous thing and i just dont understand why and how to stop feeling this way!
I just found out from a very close friend that her brother has gotten engaged to a girl i used to be close with but has since gone on to be close with someone who she knows was cruel to me (this someone was a relative who is not religious and always gave me a hard time about my being religious). She is also related to a girl who caused my breakup with my former fiance.

I thought i was over the whole break up issue. I mean, i am over HIM, he was a bad person whom Allahswt protected me by allowing the break up to happen.


The thing is, why do i feel like this when i hear about people getting engaged??? Its not even just that i dont like her, i do like her, i just no longer am close with her. She and i are two very very different people. I embrace Islam, she embraces western ideals.
But in the end she never disrespects me when i see her and is always pleasant towards me.

I want to be happy for them, but i got tearful and sad when i read the email from my good friend who is very excited about her brother getting engaged.
Is it bad to feel this way?

[cat eyes]

i am just giving a guess it might be that these emotions arise when you feel you try to be a good muslimah but you find yourself getting hurt from others who are far off as being as loyal as you as a friend you seem to be sad then when you hear other people getting married around you?unworthy people?

maybe thats why you feel a bit down maybe you feel in your heart that this girl would not be suited to her brother considering she had treated you badly in the past and its not the way a muslimah should be at all to throw a friendship away and befriend nasty people maybe deep down you feel you are going to lose your close friend now once she marries in to the family?.

you have so many worries and insecurities racing around in your mind thats why you can't understand why you feel like that. if i am right or even half right then i would suggest you talk to your close friend about it and explain to her your insecurities.

tell her everything and then inshallaah you might feel a little better for it also. we all crave for that attention to be accepted and wanted when we were hurt in the past. its human nature then shaytan plays with you and make you think all sorts of things to make you feel more crap about yourself

[angeldust]

you are human so your feeling is normal, but please try to be happy for them,because we should wish for our brothers and sisters the same good things we wish for our selves!

[zakirs]

It happens sis ignore it and concentrate on Ramadan.. oh and btw happy ramadan!

['Abd-al Latif]

Hope everyone is doing well.

I am feeling so sad and upset over the most ridiculous thing and i just dont understand why and how to stop feeling this way!
I just found out from a very close friend that her brother has gotten engaged to a girl i used to be close with but has since gone on to be close with someone who she knows was cruel to me (this someone was a relative who is not religious and always gave me a hard time about my being religious). She is also related to a girl who caused my breakup with my former fiance.

I thought i was over the whole break up issue. I mean, i am over HIM, he was a bad person whom Allahswt protected me by allowing the break up to happen.


The thing is, why do i feel like this when i hear about people getting engaged??? Its not even just that i dont like her, i do like her, i just no longer am close with her. She and i are two very very different people. I embrace Islam, she embraces western ideals.
But in the end she never disrespects me when i see her and is always pleasant towards me.

I want to be happy for them, but i got tearful and sad when i read the email from my good friend who is very excited about her brother getting engaged.
Is it bad to feel this way?

You probably become emotional because you want to get married and you are eagerly waiting for that big day when you will finally be blessed with a spouse. And I assume that this guy you have mentioned you still have some feelings for him in your heart which is why you are upset. Whatever has passed you by was not meant to befall you so know that this is a test from Allah because He will always test us to check on our emaan.

Allah (swt) said:

And He it is Who created the heavens and the earth in six Days - and His Throne was over water - so He may test you as to which of you is better in deeds. [Hud 11:7]

And he (swt) said:

And We will most certainly try you with somewhat of fear and hunger and loss of property and lives and fruits; and give good news to the patient,

Who, when a misfortune befalls them, say: To Allah We belong, and to Him is our return.

Those are they on whom are blessings and mercy from their Lord, and those are the followers of the right course. [Baqarah 2:115-157]

And in relation to this verse the Prophet said:

Whenever an affliction strikes a Muslim and he says, as Allah has commanded him "inna li-llahi-wa-inna ilayhi raji'un. Allahuma ajirni fi musibati, wa akhlif li khayran minha" - "To Allah we blong, and to Him we will return," Oh Allah, reward me for my affliction and replace it for me with that which is better," Allah will then surely replace it for him with that which is better [Muslim, al-Bayhaqi and Ahmed]

The Prophet also said:

When Allah loves some people, He subjects them to affliction. [Tirmidhi and others]

And he also said:

Indeed, affliction is intesified for the righteous. Whenever a believer is afflicted with hardship, be it a thorn or more, a sin is removed from him, and he is elevated one level (in Jannah). [Bukhari and Muslim]

And he also said:

When Allah tries a 'abd (slave) with an affliction, while he is pursuing a course that Allah hates, Allah makes that affliction a means of expiation and purification for him - as long as he does not complain to other then Allah about his affliction, or asks other then Allah to alleviate it. [Recorded by Ibn Asakir, Ibn Abi Dunya and at-tabarani]

So don't dispair over your trials, they are a means of purification for your sins and to raise you in emaan, so long as you remain patient. Make constant du'a to Allah as trials are a reminder to turn to Him for help as only He can give you relief from distress.