Pull what off, exactly? Marriage? And if she's suicidal, you need to convince her to see a professional. These aren't things for us to handle on our own. Not when life and death may be at stake.
Peace be to any prophets I may have mentioned above. Praised and exalted be my Maker, if I have mentioned Him. (Come to think of it praise Him anyway.)
If a guy really loves a girl then he'd not care about the marks. But speaking for myself, it would be nice to know it before talks of marriage begin and how bad it is exactly.
I don't think the scars alone should be an important factor. She can't help that she has scars and physical looks fade with time. It is more important what is on the inside. I know that sounds cliche' but it's the truth.
I am concerned that you said she is pious but is also suicidal. Adhubillah. May Allah heal her and give her peace inside insha'Allah.
"And hold fast unto Allah, He is your protector, the best to protect and the best to help"
She need only be honest about this and it can be turned into a blessing for her.
By the nature of having these scars she has eliminated a wide range of potential suitors that have very shallow intentions.
This is a very wise reply. God takes things in our lives and uses them to our good. So as woodrow pointed out this may save you from some suitors whose intentions would be less than noble. Accept God's Love. If the Creator of all shows you his creation Love than how can we say back to him that we are unworthy of Love? Trust God.
It is very easy to be shallow and be concerned about outward appearance
But in the end your deen and true character is all that matters. Inshallah Allah swt will
bring this sister the best brother out there. This brother will see past any scars she might have and love her for who she is. Inshallah she will get stronger and
Not do anything to hurt herself.
i wouldn't marry a girl but i cant see why scars would be all that bothersome...i dont think they would be so anyway
if she is suicidal, maybe she should consider getting help? and she may need for her scars to be cured (if they aren't already)....i mean if they are causing her that much distress, then maybe she should see a dr.?
Last edited by Ummu Sufyaan; 11-24-2009 at 08:23 AM.
...desperate for husnul-khitaam...
please make dua that Allah grants me a good end (to my life). please make dua that Allah guides me.
Many replies are in the way my friends are trying to convince her, but I would like to answer the actual question.
If I am in love with a girl, I will not care if I come to know she have scars on her body. For me, I feel, the inner beauty is much more important than what we see.
What I could do if the girl was Ok but after marriage, she got such things due to whatever reason. It is not in our hand.
I will appreciate Uncle Woodrow who gave a really admiring and wise response.
When there is nothing left but Allah that is when you find out that Allah is all you need.
the way i see it Allah will give her somebody if she was a pious muslimah she would know that. i think its more sad that she is losing trust in Allah and she is not accepting what has happened and moving on with her life. I think she needs to see this world is nothing compared to the herafter. I believe people who worry 2much about themselves worry about the world and thats not the way a muslim should be. Im trying to think what the prophet mohammad peace and blessings be upon him would say to her. I think he would tell her to fear Allah. She should feel that much fear that thoughts like this should not come into her mind and she should be seeking refuge in Allah swt.
Hope your all in good health, i understand where the girl is coming from but not the sucidal part of it, i was born with a heart problem and i had operations done when i was a baby, i have a scar going down the front and also a scar around my back, i was uncomfortable about it. I told my husband before we got married as i didnt want it to shock or put him off, @ the end of the day its a part of who you are, your scars tel a story about whats happened in you life. My husbands not bothered about the scars i have n now im not either, Inshallah Allah SWT will give her strength and peace. Its like what many have said its the inner beauty which will last a lifetime not looks. Hope this helps.
If you was in love wit somone, looks wouldn't matter as much, maybe a lil.. And if you rly, truly loved someone you'd do ANYTHING to make the person HAPPY ALL THE TIME! :><: But you say she's pious yet suicidal, how does that work??
" Its sometimes better people don't get to know you..
Cuz the more they know you, the less they understand & accept you..
Alone is better, what say " - SRK
But Had burn scars (white in Color) down her chest
Would you care? Would it put you off?
Please answer HONESTLY
No one knows who you are
GIRL FEELS SUICIDAL ALL THE TIME, SO UNHAPPY
Would love ur honest Feedback
xx
Subahanallah, how much Quran does she know? thats what i wanna know..the rest a secondary, and the scars down her chest, that should not even be considered...
before I was Muslim i knew a guy (who a dated briefly). He was burnt as a child as he pulled a kettle of boiling water over himself. He had really bad scars on his chest and stomach. To be honest, he was a really kind generous guy, and had he been Muslim I probably would have married him. Allahu Alim. anyway, I think that character speaks much more clearly and it is much more visible than scars.You have to look past them.
I think personally, that it should not put someone off of marriage.
But Had burn scars (white in Color) down her chest
Would you care? Would it put you off?
Please answer HONESTLY
No one knows who you are
GIRL FEELS SUICIDAL ALL THE TIME, SO UNHAPPY
Would love ur honest Feedback
xx
First of all i wish INSHALLAH ALLAH SWT cure her , Iam 100% sure that if any brother ask her for marriage with her scars she will be the most happiest girl in the world and she will never think of suicide may be at the moment shes thinking that way coz noone asking her hands yet but she have to know that suicide is haram and she could face the hell , Alhamdillillah nowdays with the cosmetic surgery everything could repair and she will have no scars with the partner help INSHALLAH so if shes pious and good character then someone can marry her and help her to have the cosmetic operation and the problem will solve INSHALLAH
If you really love her, then I don't think it'd be a problem. Maybe you can make her happy.
But I'd personally would want someone who takes the affliction as a blessing, rather than a torment or suicidal thought. Though, Alhamdulillah I was never burned or even had to go to the hospital ever for my own sake, so I don't want to judge. It surely must be difficult. May Allah Ta'ala ease her pain.
But Had burn scars (white in Color) down her chest
Would you care? Would it put you off?
Please answer HONESTLY
No one knows who you are
GIRL FEELS SUICIDAL ALL THE TIME, SO UNHAPPY
Would love ur honest Feedback
xx
Asalaamu Alaikum Wr Wb, honestly speaking sister this is the best way of filtering out the wrong men. A true Muslim man finds attraction in the womens piety and character and of course there does have to be some physical attraction but that comes from the the girls piety and character and if the man does not marry the girl just because of bodily scars then surely that man is not right for her.
Your lucky sister you have'nt got vitaligo which can be much worse as it can scar the face but even then a good man would accept the women for her piety.
I saw a programme the other day where an ex model stated that she wished she never had good looks because all of her life she has only ever attracted the wrong type of men all of whom have been cheats, players, liars and treated her the worst.
So my sister let us thank Allah everyday for giving us good health because there are many people with debilitating illness and we should make dua for those Muslims and thank Allah and be appreciative that he has given us good health.
So see it as a good thing because it will filter out the wrong men and surely a good man will be attracted to your piety and character for Allah will find you a good and pious partner if you go about things the right way and ask of him for it is his will that a couple are able to marry.
May Allah give us all good and pious partners. Ameen
TBH any scars on a persons body would (and should) be unknown until after marriage except what is visible to everyone, like on the face. the girl is probably very self concious about it and would feel horrible to be rejected for something like that
the point that is worrying is she feels suicidal.
Our Lord! Verily, we have heard the call of one calling to Faith: 'Believe in your Lord,' and we have believed.
Our Lord! Forgive us our sins and expiate from us our evil deeds, and make us die (in the state of righteousness) along with Al-Abrar
i was watching on the t.v the other night about a woman who actually payed for a new surgery for burnt victims.. her face was burnt in a accident and ohh my gosh after she got the surgery her face was actually the way it was before her accident but the treatment is extremely painful like one patient was screaming but Alhamdulilah we have these things available. Alhamdulilah we have these skilled surgeons.
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but i cant see why scars would be all that bothersome...i dont think they would be so anyway
the way i see it Allah will give her somebody if she was a pious muslimah she would know that. i think its more sad that she is losing trust in Allah and she is not accepting what has happened and moving on with her life. I think she needs to see this world is nothing compared to the herafter. I believe people who worry 2much about themselves worry about the world and thats not the way a muslim should be. Im trying to think what the prophet mohammad peace and blessings be upon him would say to her. I think he would tell her to fear Allah. She should feel that much fear that thoughts like this should not come into her mind and she should be seeking refuge in Allah swt.
Re: Girl with Scars- HELP!
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