so, this ones messy...but i came to college wasnt very practising so made friends both girls and guys. anyways i decided i wanna stop free-mixing (which is soo hard as i got close to the guys) anways...my problem is i feel soooo alone now, no guy mates and all my girl mates think im going crazy or too "extreme" and some times thoughts come into my head "maybe i am being a lil bit over the top its not so bad to talk your not dating them etc. but i know its just the shaytan.
im trying soooo hard to just concentrate on my deen and studies family etc, but it gets me down at times and wonder am i going over the top?
^not at all...free mixing is like the worst disease...you just have to read through some of the threads posted here about broken hearts as a result of free-mixing. dont go there and dont underestimate it.... and if your friends are judging you, it says more about them, then it does you. give dawah to them and try guide them...but if they dont heed and you feel they will have a negative influence on you, go find new friends...
btw, congratulations on becoming a practicing Muslimah
...desperate for husnul-khitaam...
please make dua that Allah grants me a good end (to my life). please make dua that Allah guides me.
your doing the right thing believe me sister we all make mistakes when we are young like girls are starting uni as young as 17 is it? and you will hear loads of stories like this. you are very wise girl really mashaAllah my sister will be starting now next year... her school was bad enough but university i don't even want to think about it what she might get upto you know anything can happen sis its really not worth it... do you honestly believe boys just want to be your friend? come on sis they only have one thing on there mind, haraam relationship.
Sis I have so much admiration for you and I can relate to what you're going through cos my friends started calling me extreme when I stopped free mixing and began blanking the girls in our class.
They all said it was cos of the masjid I went to which is known to be strict that jus made me more angry and dertimned not to go back to my old ways.
they used to call my "holy moly" and all sort of names like "sheikh sheraz is here" in a mocking sort of way.
You just have to remain focused on your goal which is to get to jannah. You have shown so much wisdom and maturity by praticing Islam and giving up the haraam thank Allah you've been guided.
They still can't see the error of free mixing that's why the don't understand, it appeals to their desires so they probably carry on with it regardless of what Islam says about it.
but this is all apart of being the stranger, when you start following your religion people look at you strangely even the Muslim's look at you strangly in some cases. But don't give in to them. remain firm upon the truth, and stick to what is halal.
Make some praticing friends like yourself, they tend to hang out in the prayer room.
please whatever you do don't let your friends influence you to go back to your old ways show strong character and be your own person.
here's some motivating vids that I found very helpfull when I was going through what you're going through.
MashaAllah thats very brave step from you dear sis in reaching your ultimate goal at Jannah inshaAlllah.
Yeah that is only Shaitan whispering...see the free mixing is always the beginning of all evils, don't even believe anyone tell you that collage male mates are considered as "brothers" if so, then this is the biggest lie you will be hearing.
Most of the haram relationship are begin with such "friendship" I don't call it as friendship but more as fitnah. As for your friends, the friends who are not helping you to improve your deen and try to make you let go of your deen are not real friends. May Allah guide them all to the right path, if not then may Allah grant you a better practicing friends.
jzk all for your advice, and the main reasons i stopped free-mixing is that i notced girls and guys cannot just be friends, even if they are all muslims.
Nothing with me alhamdulilah but it caused a lot of back biting, friends breaking p, just got ugly really so decided to leave. And i will stay on this path even more stronger and some friends true colours have come out to be honest with ya. I think that has been the most depressing part, that some friends dont want you to move forward in your deen and actually oppose it, just so they feel less bad.
Pray for me bro's and sis that Allahs gives me sabr, ameen.
May Allah bless you all.
jzk all for your advice, and the main reasons i stopped free-mixing is that i notced girls and guys cannot just be friends, even if they are all muslims.
Nothing with me alhamdulilah but it caused a lot of back biting, friends breaking p, just got ugly really so decided to leave. And i will stay on this path even more stronger and some friends true colours have come out to be honest with ya. I think that has been the most depressing part, that some friends dont want you to move forward in your deen and actually oppose it, just so they feel less bad.
Pray for me bro's and sis that Allahs gives me sabr, ameen.
May Allah bless you all.
Asalaamu Alaikum Wr Wb, I just wanted to say sister that were very proud of you for going against your desires, the whispers of shaythan and your friends and for fearing Allah and wanting to please him and abstaining from that which displeases and angers him.Allah is wanting you to go towards him and become closer to him that is why he has made your heart inclined towards moving away from sin.
Unfortunatley nowadays in both Muslim and Non Muslim countries, free mixing between the sexes has become like the 'norm'. So much so that one who does not mix with and befriend members of the opposite are seen as 'wierd' and 'different'. There is a lot of peer pressure at school, colleges and universities to befriend and even have pre-marital relationships with the opposite sex and to conform with what they see as 'the norm'. Whatever happened to the 'norm' being keeping away from sin and evil?
Befriending the opposite sex is seen as 'innocent' and 'harmless', but this is clearly on of the big deceptions from shaythan and this is exactley the naive attitude he wants us to have so that he can lure us into his trap. So many of our brothers and sisters particularly the young are falling into this trap and that is why we will ALWAYS hear of cases of those involved in these relationships getting scarred, hurt, used, abused, lead on and given false dreams and hopes by their partner aswell as coming out of the relationship with broken hearts. These pre-marital relationships can affect a person's self confidence and trust of others for years and does a lot of psychological damage with the person becoming withdrawn and not wanting to live life anymore. It can even leave the person suicidal and cause one to lose faith in their deen.
A premarital relationship is not a guarantee for marriage and most of the time the other person may have other intentions usually to satisfy their desire.
Most of the time pre-marital relationships start off with 'innocent' friendships and inevitabley develop into much more with the two people committing much haraam with each other.
A man and a women are created to be attracted to each other and there is No such thing as seeing a person from the opposite sex as a friend or a brother and sister because eventually feelings will develop and those who think otherwise are living in denial and are foolings only themselves.
My sister it is VERY important to know who we call our friends. You should let go of these people immediatley you cannot have people like that in your life. Make friends with good and pious sisters who are working for the akhirah as they will truly benefit you. The true friends are those who take us towards Jannah and the bad friends are the ones that drag us to destruction and Hell.
So we should all differentiate which are which in our lives and rid ourselves of bad friends but continue to give them dawah now and again and wish good upon them and make dua for them that Allah guides them.
Continue to go towards Allah as success ONLY lies in fearing Allah and abiding by his commandments and abstaining from that which he has forbidden for surely we are being tested and we will return to Allah to answer for our actions.
Life is so uncertain and at ANY moment our time can be up so let us make the best use of every second and not waste it doing useless things and following our desires and the whispers of shaythan which will surely lead us to destruction.
Wish good upon those people by making dua for them and giving them dawah now and again.
Be strong always my sister and know that keeping away from what Allah has forbidden is what we should ALL do until our last breath. Be the best towards others especially your family and do as much as you can to please Allah and go towards him and have FULL trust, reliance and hope in him and him ONLY and you will be successful and will live life content and happy with tranquility in your heart.
Here are a few posts which you will find very beneficial. Please forward to as many people as you can so that they may benefit to and remember me in your dua's:
Forty Very Easy, Quick & Rewarding Good Deeds for all of us to do Everyday!
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your doing the right thing believe me sister we all make mistakes when we are young like girls are starting uni as young as 17 is it? and you will hear loads of stories like this. you are very wise girl really mashaAllah my sister will be starting now next year... her school was bad enough but university i don't even want to think about it what she might get upto
you know anything can happen sis its really not worth it... do you honestly believe boys just want to be your friend?
come on sis they only have one thing on there mind, haraam relationship.
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