Cure For Chronic Anger?

[Taqiyah]

Salam Alaykum.

Everyone gets angry every once in awhile. That is just human nature. But some people handle it better than others, some people forget about it quickly and move on with their lives, now that is healthy anger. But what about those people that don't get angry often but once they do SuBhan Allah it feels like the world is coming to an end? And they either don't stop yelling or they give you the silent treatment or they come up with ways to punish you or make you pay for what you did even if it was a mistake.And they never forget about it, they keep it stored so they can get it out when they need it later to win a fight. For lack of a better term I called it "Chronic Anger"..Is this a medical disorder that can actually be cured or if it isn't how do you cure it??? Is there anything a muslim can do to completely eliminate that hateful quality?

[Ummu Sufyaan]

wa alaykum us-Salaam
best way to not get angry (after the prophetic method of-course) is to try detach yourself emotionally from whatever it is that is making you angry that way you have removed the reason for your anger. distract and preoccupy yourself in the moment of anger...think of the virtues that you may get as a result of suppressing your anger.

just suppress your anger. the more you express it, the worse it will overpower you.

[Taqiyah]

wa alaykum us-Salaam
best way to not get angry (after the prophetic method of-course) is to try detach yourself emotionally from whatever it is that is making you angry that way you have removed the reason for your anger. distract and preoccupy yourself in the moment of anger...think of the virtues that you may get as a result of suppressing your anger.

just suppress your anger. the more you express it, the worse it will overpower you.

Salam..
sis thanks for your response. But I thought it was healthy to talk through whatever is making you mad and discuss the issue with the person without yelling and being irrational, I think that is expressing your anger in a healthy manner. But keeping things inside and ignoring it would just make u even more explosive right??

[dovelove]

wasalam

let it out, write it out, dont keep anger in u, it can make u angry inside.
if ur gonna debate it out best do it calm relaxed mood when ur over the issue.
solitude is good for anger.
sorry for anger is a must.
deep breathing, sleeping.
try forgive and forget.
when some1 make u angry, try think positive, like inshAllah, Allah will deal with this.
CBT is good for anger, to learn not to get angry same goes for anger management.

when the above fails to help, try a punch bag as in the heat of rage, we dont always think deep about solutions.

[Taqiyah]

wasalam

let it out, write it out, dont keep anger in u, it can make u angry inside.
if ur gonna debate it out best do it calm relaxed mood when ur over the issue.
solitude is good for anger.
sorry for anger is a must.
deep breathing, sleeping.
try forgive and forget.
when some1 make u angry, try think positive, like inshAllah, Allah will deal with this.
CBT is good for anger, to learn not to get angry same goes for anger management.

when the above fails to help, try a punch bag as in the heat of rage, we dont always think deep about solutions.

Thanks for the suggestions.

[Eric H]

Greetings and peace be with you Taqiyah; here are a few quotes on anger, but forgiveness is the greater path.

“Anyone who angers you conquers you

No man can think clearly when his fists are
clenched.
-- George Jean Nathan.

Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help, and what he cannot help.
-- Thomas Fuller.

When a man is wrong and won't admit is, he
always gets angry.
-- Thomas Haliburton.

There was never an angry man that thought
his anger unjust.
-- St. Francis De Sales.

Anger is what makes a clear mind seem
clouded.
-- Kazi Shams.

It is wise to direct your anger towards problems -- not people; to focus your energies on answers -- not excuses.”

“Anger is only one letter short of danger”

Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.

Anger will never disappear so long as thoughts of resentment are cherished in the mind. Anger will disappear just as soon as thoughts of resentment are forgotten.”

For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.”

The angry people are those people who are most afraid”


If you are patient in one moment of anger, you
will escape a hundred days of sorrow.
-- Chinese Proverb.

Anger, if not restrained, is frequently more
hurtful to us than the injury that provokes it.
-- Seneca.

The greatest remedy for anger is delay.
-- Seneca.

For every minute you remain angry, you give
up sixty seconds of peace of mind.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson.



Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal
with the intent of throwing it at someone else;
you are the one who gets burned.
-- Buddha.

People who fly into a rage always make a bad
landing.
-- Will Rogers.

Speak when you are angry and you will make
the best speech you will ever regret.
-- Ambrose Bierce.

Consider how much more you often suffer
from your anger and grief, than from those
very things for which you are angry and
grieved.
-- Marcus Antonius.


How much more grievous are the
consequences of anger than the causes of it.
-- Marcus Aurelius.



• Mahatma Gandhi
“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”
• Martin Luther King
“Forgiveness is not an occasional act. It is a permanent attitude."

In the spirit of praying for an inner peace that surpasses all understanding

Eric

[☆ღUmm Uthmanღ☆]

^Interesting!!

Thanx for sharin!!

[Hamza Asadullah]

Salam Alaykum.

Everyone gets angry every once in awhile. That is just human nature. But some people handle it better than others, some people forget about it quickly and move on with their lives, now that is healthy anger. But what about those people that don't get angry often but once they do SuBhan Allah it feels like the world is coming to an end? And they either don't stop yelling or they give you the silent treatment or they come up with ways to punish you or make you pay for what you did even if it was a mistake.And they never forget about it, they keep it stored so they can get it out when they need it later to win a fight. For lack of a better term I called it "Chronic Anger"..Is this a medical disorder that can actually be cured or if it isn't how do you cure it??? Is there anything a muslim can do to completely eliminate that hateful quality?

Asalaamu Alaikum Wr Wb, the following is a good short article about anger and how to control it. Hope it helps inshallah.

The Prophet (Allah bless him & give him peace) said,

'Don't get angry,'

In the name of Allah, the inspirer of truth. All praise is to Allah, Most Merciful and Compassionate, and all blessings and peace to our Master Muhammad, his family, companions, and those who follow them.

Anger is something both the Shariah and the sound intellect regard as generally blameworthy. This is why the Beloved of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) told the one who sought his counsel, 'Don't get angry,' repeatedly.

The scholars recommend many measures to deal with anger, including:

1. Turn to Allah, and seeking refuge in Allah, from Satan.
When a man got angry in front of the Prophet (Allah bless him & give him peace), he told his companions, 'I know some words that would make his anger leave, if he said them. They are, A`udhubillahi min al-shaykhtan ('I seek refuge in Allah from Satan'). [Bukhari] Imam Mawardi said in Adab al-Dunya wa al-Din that one should remember Allah when angry, for this leads to fear of Allah, which directs him to obey Him and restrain one's anger by returning to proper manners. Allah Most High said, 'And remember Allah when you are heedless.' [Qur'an, 18: 24]

Turn to Allah in supplication, in order to control one's anger. One should turn to Allah with one's heart and tongue, asking him to rid one of anger, and all other lowly traits. If you can do this using the supplications of the Beloved of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace), it is even more beloved to Allah. `A'isha (Allah be pleased with her) reports that, 'The Prophet entered while she was angry. So he rubbed the tip of my nose and said, 'My little `A'isha. Say, 'O Allah, forgive my sin, remove the anger in my heart, and protect me from Satan.' (Allahumma' Ghfirli dhanbi, wa adhhib ghaydha qalbi, wa aajirni min ash-shaytan)' [Ibn al-Sunni, as mentioned in Barkawi's Tariqa al-Muhammadiyya]

{ اللَّهُمَّ اغْفِرْ لِي ذَنْبِي وَأَذْهِبْ غَيْظَ قَلْبِي وَآجِرْنِي مِنْ الشَّيْطَانِ }
2. Silence.
Do not say anything when angry, lest it contravene the Sacred Law, or go against your personal or social interests. The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) said, 'If you get angry, stay silent.' [Ahmad]

3. Change your physical posture.
The Prophet (Allah bless him & give him peace) is reported to have said, 'If you get angry while standing, sit down'. If you get angry while sitting, lie down.' The wisdom in this is that it prevents one from doing that which one's anger would have made one do in that posture.

4. Perform ritual ablutions
The Prophet informed us that anger is from Satan, and he was created from fire, so we should extinguish anger with ritual ablutions. [Abu Dawud]

5. Follow the counsel of the Best of Creation (Allah bless him & give him peace)
His repeated counsel for the one who sought advice was, 'Do not get angry.' [Bukhari]

6. Remember the great reward mentioned by Allah for those who control their anger.
'And vie with one another for forgiveness from your Lord, and for a Paradise as wide as are the heavens and the earth, prepared for those fear Allah (al-muttaqin) ; Those who spend (of that which Allah has given them) in ease and in adversity, those who control their wrath, and are forgiving toward mankind; and Allah loves the good. And those who, when they do an evil deep or wrong themselves, remember Allah and implore forgiveness for their sins. And who forgives sins but Allah?...' (Qur'an, 3: 133-135)

7. Remember that true strength is not physical, but spiritual and moral.
The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) said, �The strong one is not one who can out-wrestle others. Rather, the strong one is one who can restrain themselves when angry. [Bukhari& Muslim] Imam Kumushkhanawi, the great 19th Century hadith expert and Naqshabandi spiritual guide, explained that, this is because, "the one who can control himself when his anger swells up has overcome the most powerful of his enemies and the worst of his adversaries. From this hadith, the Sufis deduced that it is incumbent on the knower of Allah to bear those who harm him, such as neighbors and others. (Lawami` al-`Uqul, 4: 23-4)

Imam Barkawi mentioned in his Tariqa al-Muhammadiyya that the way to remove the tendency to anger is, 'By removing is cause, which is avidness for rank, arrogance, and conceit. One who has these traits is easily angered by that which normally does not anger others.

8. Remember the example of the Prophet (Allah bless him & give him peace)
Remember the clemency, forbearance, and easy-going nature of the Prophet (Allah bless him & give him peace) with others, and did not get angry unless the anger was for the sake of Allah. The examples of this from his life are numerous. The scholars say that every Muslim should strive to read about the life and example of the Prophet (Allah bless him & give him peace) daily.

9. Remember the harms of anger.
Be aware of the harms of anger, which include falling into that which Allah deems impermissible of words or actions, and acting in a way unbefitting of a believer. Would we act like this if we were aware that Allah sees all our actions? Would we act like this in the presence of the Prophet (Allah bless him & give him peace)?

Imam Ibn Hajar al-Haytami (Allah have mercy on him) counted getting wrongly angry as one of the first major sins in his Zawajir.

10. Remember that anger is generally animalistic.
Be aware that one resembles animals, more than noble humans, when in a state of anger. [Barkawi, Tariqa]

And Allah knows best.

Wassalam,

Source:http://qa.sunnipath.com/issue_view.a...&ID=769&CATE=3

Here are more articles on anger and how to manage it:

Anger and Dejection--An Islamic Perspective

http://www.soundvision.com/Info/dome...ence/anger.asp

Anger Management: An Islamic perspective: Part one

http://www.islamawareness.net/Anger/anger_man_1.html

Anger Management: An Islamic perspective: Part two

http://www.islamawareness.net/Anger/anger_man_2.html

Cures for Anger from the Sunnah

http://www.islamawareness.net/Anger/cures_sunnah.html

“Do not get angry”

http://www.islamawareness.net/Anger/donot.html

Anger: the impact on children

http://www.islamawareness.net/Anger/impact.html

Ummah's Role as a Teacher

http://www.islamawareness.net/Anger/teacher.html

[Ummu Sufyaan]

Salam..
sis thanks for your response. But I thought it was healthy to talk through whatever is making you mad and discuss the issue with the person without yelling and being irrational, I think that is expressing your anger in a healthy manner. But keeping things inside and ignoring it would just make u even more explosive right??

at the spur of moment when you are mad, the worst thing you can do is act on your anger.

later on when you have calmed down, i guess it would be okay to talk to someone about it. im not sure... everyone's different. some like talk it out, others feel its best to keep it to themselves