Husband giving up smoking

[AnonymousPoster]

My husband is trying to give up smoking. He is finding it very hard and gets very moody sometimes. I try to be patient, but sometimes he is so harsh and unfair to me or the children and I find it hard not to tell him. If I do tell him, he gets even more cross. I want him to stop smoking and I want to be supportive.
What else can I do?

[Beardo]

You know, some say it's best you phase out of such actions. For example, if you smoke every day, you'll minimize to smoking once every 2 days. Then to once a week, then to once every two weeks, etc and then completely let it go.

Perhaps you could also speak to a doctor in regards to this issue. I'm sure he doesn't mean to be harsh.

Keep in mind he's doing something quite difficult, so Insha'Allah be patient as you are now Masha'Allah and you and your family will be rewarded.

[Ğħαrєєвαħ]

^ Insha`Allaah Indeed :-)

[AnonymousPoster]

He is just like a different person not like that man I love and married.

[Ğħαrєєвαħ]

Sister be patient and make dua to ALlaah.. have trust in Allaah :-)..
Its maybe a tests from ALlah Indeed, so struggle and Ask Allah to make it easy for your husband , you and your family ..
May Allaah t`ala easen this time for you sister.Ameen

[Beardo]

He is just like a different person not like that man I love and married.

Oh don't say that, Ukhti.

I'm sure he's the same person inside. Just going through some rough times. This is just a temporary behaviour that'll end soon Insha'Allah Ta'ala. Make dua!

[AlbanianMuslim]

What is the method he is using? If he is going cold turkey, aka just stopping all together, that may be the reason for his moodiness.

He needs to have a plan set up with his doctor or a program that helps people to quit. Search online. mytimetoquit.com is a good site.
Those sites will help you both in making it easier for him to quit, thus making it easier on the family as a whole.

I have had two people in my life quit smoking and one of them suffered from mood swings, it was because the way he was quitting was not working well with his health and abilities. Each persons body is different, so please do some more research and talk to him when he is calm about methods that will make it easier for him.

[Beardo]

What is the method he is using? If he is going cold turkey, aka just stopping all together, that may be the reason for his moodiness.

That's exactly what I was thinking and saying.

You have to take it one step at a time. I'm trying to think of an example.

[AnonymousPoster]

AlbanianMuslim, he is using nicotin patches, but he still gets moody. He spends much time alone and that is fine, I understand. But I don't like it when he gets angry for no reason and we haven't done nothing.

Muslim World and Rashad, thank you for your kind words. I know that we will get through this and I am making dua

[Ğħαrєєвαħ]

InshaAllaaah sis
I will keep you in my duas Indeed

[Ummu Sufyaan]

when he is angry, don't tell him anything, just ignore him...act as if it isn't happening and speak to him like you would speak to him when he is in a good mood for eg: "man its boiling hot today, want some ice-cream?"

then when he has calmed down, sit and explain to him what it is that bothers you...but first you have to let him hear something he likes as this will soften his heart straight away and make him more inventive not only to the advice you give him in regards to him, but also the advice you give in regards to you and your children... so words of support and encouragement...and maybe telling him that you think what he's doing is fabulous...reminding him of his reward with Allah and saying something like: may allah reward you immensely for your efforts, etc..so yes, make dua for him both in front of him and in secret...

then you bring up your issues and tell him and talk to him about the affects his moods have on your kids if he is unnecessarily stern with them...it does tend to cause them to be a little distressed and all.

if you want to change things, it is counter-productive to get angry and annoyed with one who is angry and annoyed with you. also when advising him always be indirect and try to avoid as best as you can words that could potentially annoy him... this is because don't men (and even some women too) don't like being told what to do plus, he already knows what his problem so you echoing it (to him) is pointless and annoying...so avoid words like "moody" because the minute he hears that, he knows what you are getting at and all your efforts will go up in smoke

constantly encourage and support him so that he is extra motivated to quit this bad habit.

[Grofica]

I know its ruff but quiting is HARD. a smokers entire body is addited to the nicotine... i agree with everyone else making sure that he is using some system... patches dont work to quit on their own.

I use patches when i fly and even after a 10 hour plain ride i could bit off someone's head just because my hole body is craving the ciggerette. its very much the physical movement of smoking as well as the nicotine... keep that in mind. he needs something to do with his hands just as much as he needs a nicotine aid.

when i go a couple of hours without a ciggerette i get headachs. i cant focus on what i am doing as well. i get anxious like there is some weight in my chest but it feels like i could have a panick attack...

another thing it matters on how much he smokes per day how long he has smoked... its a long road and not an easy one.

i dont know its a crazy addiction and a lot of none smokers dont relize how hard it is to quit. I admire his ambition...

I am not saying he should be moody with you thats not good either but i think that understanding a little better what he is going through is a good thing for when he does accidentally says something in the wrong tone...

do check out other quit smoking methods.. he does need to find the right way for him.

[syilla]

this is so new to me... i don't know that the process of quitting will make one grumpy.

My hubby take the easier road... he said i don't know whether i can quit smoking so i can't promise you anything

[jaz]

sister
I think its quite common for those who tries to give up smoking experience short tempered, lethargy and possibly shivers when they do go without smoke. Ive seen it before. It usually lasted for awhile as smoking can be quite addictive or so I heard. I agree with Rashad abt seeking the Doctor's help. There have been a few treatments available for smokers these days. I have a friend who tries to quit smoking years ago and she went to a health care and the physician gave her something to chew whenever she has the urge to smoke and offers some counseling. It seems to be helping though it may take awhile to break the habit. Also don't forget to pray and make duas so that he will quit smoking.

Insha'Allah with allah's will, he will be able to break his bad habit.

[zakirs]

Don't worry sister , all he needs is your support. Quitting an addiction is not very easy . Just make sure you give him as much help as possible and hope he will return to good mood again.

Hope he quits soon and your family is back to best again

[AnonymousPoster]

My hubby take the easier road... he said i don't know whether i can quit smoking so i can't promise you anything

Sister does your hubby smoke too?

[syilla]

^^^ erm... yes. Most of the Malaysian i think

Actually the islamic council in my state has make a fatwa saying that smoking is haram...but you can see the workers are smoking outside their building...

I just wonder islamically, how the fatwa should be implement?

[jaz]

^^^ erm... yes. Most of the Malaysian i think

Actually the islamic council in my state has make a fatwa saying that smoking is haram...but you can see the workers are smoking outside their building...

I just wonder islamically, how the fatwa should be implement?

sister syilla,
I have heard of the fatwa but it is only available in a few state I think.

to sister anon, have you tried talking to your husband abt the doctor option? I hope his heart will be soften and insyaAllah with Allah's will he will stop smoking soon.

[AnonymousPoster]

Hubby is better now and is getting used to not having cigarette. Alhamdulillah!