what do i do to stop being arrogant.. i dont see my self as being arrogant but i get it like a few times a month so many people call me arrogant.. i try to stop so many things in my life .. i try not to lie .. not to talk about people .. and i try and pray my prayers on time .. but that is the only big thing people accuse me of they always say.. you are so arrogant.. and i do have a bad temper so i have alot of respect around everywhere in school.. mosque and alot of places so people say why does everone respect and scared of you .. i'm a very nice perosn but i'm stubborn , accused of being very arrogant and i have a very bad temper
Last edited by AabiruSabeel; 05-21-2015 at 02:55 AM.
WHEN YOU TELL ME I'M ARROGANT, I TAKE THAT AS A COMPLIMENT CAUSE IM SO CONFIDENT hehe
Sister,
Nothing wrong in being respected but then that means you usually have to set a good examples for others, so perhaps controlling that anger would be the first thing, there are a few threads on the advice section about anger management http://www.islamicboard.com/advice-s...anagement.html
Take Care Sister
Last edited by S<Chowdhury; 03-26-2010 at 09:46 AM.
To my Akh's tryin to stay on their deen
It gets mean especially when u stay on the scene
And at the same try to stay out of trouble
But don't forget the blessing's in the struggle...
You gotta stay on your salats, your zakats, your Quran
what do i do to stop being arrogant.. i dont see my self as being arrogant but i get it like a few times a month so many people call me arrogant.. i try to stop so many things in my life .. i try not to lie .. not to talk about people .. and i try and pray my prayers on time .. but that is the only big thing people accuse me of they always say.. you are so arrogant.. and i do have a bad temper so i have alot of respect around everywhere in school.. mosque and alot of places so people say why does everone respect and scared of you .. i'm a very nice perosn but i'm stubborn , accused of being very arrogant and i have a very bad temper
maybe its their first impressions of you. like once someone told me that i come across as a snob, but once you get to know me, its apparent that its shyness
Last edited by AabiruSabeel; 05-21-2015 at 02:56 AM.
maybe is because you know what you what, and hence are very strong headed, which may come across as arrogant. sometimes people may tell you certain things that they see from you, because they are dont have that particular characteristic themselves, so they may interpret it in the wrong way because they dont see that characteristic within their own-selves...thus a misunderstanding if you will, of your peronality tends to crop up.
...desperate for husnul-khitaam...
please make dua that Allah grants me a good end (to my life). please make dua that Allah guides me.
You should also check your intentions and do your best to wash the bad habits out of it.
Like why do you say such a thing? If you know you say such a thing to make yourself look good or to show off or whatever then choose to restrain yourself. Get you loads of hasanaath inshallah. It is the hardest thing to do though. To continously check your intentions, reflect on them and adjust your bahaviour to it. Thats hard for anyone.
And maybe you could show also your soft side every now and then. Could be weird cos maybe its not a common thing for you to do. But it works miracles (as a matter of speech) alhamdoellilah. You being kind to another person gets you the same treatment back. And it feels wonderfull alahamdoellilah. I actually know a person just like you, a sister from the mosque. I did not like her untill she was actually kind to me. Then we actually got along great and found stuff we had in common. So being kind and friendly actually makes you feel good about yourself and opens up a whole other world (full of little kittens and flowers and all). And maintaining good relationships is an important thing as a muslim (also when you get married haha )
But nonetheless you dont have to be all sweet all of a sudden. Just find a balance.
I actually argue with my sibblings every now and then. Its normal to have an arguement.
But it gets troubeling if its continuesly untill it becames a routine or so.
So patience dear sis patience is also required. You cant change your behaviour in like a day so start in babysteps untill you have achieved your goales.
May Allah swt bless you and help you achieve your goals. Ameen.
what do i do to stop being arrogant.. i dont see my self as being arrogant but i get it like a few times a month so many people call me arrogant.. i try to stop so many things in my life .. i try not to lie .. not to talk about people .. and i try and pray my prayers on time .. but that is the only big thing people accuse me of they always say.. you are so arrogant.. and i do have a bad temper so i have alot of respect around everywhere in school.. mosque and alot of places so people say why does everone respect and scared of you .. i'm a very nice perosn but i'm stubborn , accused of being very arrogant and i have a very bad temper
Many of us think that “a perfect Muslim” is simply one who is correct in the observance of the salah (ritual Prayer), the fasting, the zakah (payment of a certain portion of one’s wealth to the poor), and the Hajj (pilgrimage to Makkah). This indeed is not the case.
If the ritual observances do not help the person to be humble, virtuous and truly God-fearing, then he or she is not a real Muslim. A Muslim should be good and just in dealing with others, no matter their religion, and take special care to keep away from all the shameful and sinful things Allah has forbidden.
One can never get close to Allah by being arrogant, full of pride and having a bad character and manners. Those who have humility and are humble and have good character and manners are the closest to Allah and Allah raises their ranks in the hereafter. The best person is the one who is best towards others.
The superiority of good character:
Hadrat Abu Darda, may Allah be pleased with him, relates that the Holy Prophet Muhammad, may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said, “Nothing is heavier in the scales of a believer on the Day of Judgement than his good behaviour. Allah detests a person who is obscene and shameless”. (Tirmidhi)
The best friend in the sight of Allah is he who is the well-wisher of his companions, and the best neighbour is one who behaves best towards his neighbours. (Tirmidhi)
Having humility and being humble:
The Prophet (PBUH) said: "He who was humble for the sake of God by one degree, God (SWT) would then elevate them to a degree till they reach the uppermost of high Orders, and he who was arrogant to God (SWT), God (SWT) would then lower him for a degree till he reaches the lowest of low Orders", (Narrated by: Muslim (Hadeeth: 6535).
Al-Nawawi said:
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:“And no one humbles himself before Allaah but Allaah will raise him (in status).”
Humbleness is to know the value of oneself, to avoid pride, or disregarding the truth and underestimating people. As the Prophet sallallahu`alaihi wa sallam said, according to Muslim and others, "Al-Kibr is rejecting the truth and looking down upon people" [Muslim, Tirmidhi and Abu Dawud].
Humbleness is for one who is important and significant and he fears to gain notoriety or to become too great among people. Humbleness is that one should humble himself with his companions.
Humbleness is to humble oneself to one who is below you. If you find someone who is younger than you, or of less importance than you, you should not despise him, because he might have a better heart than you, or be less sinful, or closer to Allah than you. Even if you see a sinful person and you are righteous, do not act in arrogance towards him, and thank Allah that He saved you from the tribulation that He put him through.
Remember that there might be some riyaa' or vanity in your righteous deeds that may cause them to be of no avail, and that this sinful person may be regretful and fearful concerning his bad deeds, and this may be the cause of forgiveness of his sins.
Humbleness is that your deed should not become too great in your eyes. If you do a good deed, or attempt to get closer to Allah ta`ala through an act of obedience, your deed may still not be accepted, "Allah only accepts from those who have taqwa (fear of Allah)." (Surat al-Maida: 27)
Humbleness is that, when you are advised, if Shaytaan calls you to reject the advice, you must negate him. Because the purpose of advice is that your brother points out the defects that you have.
The arrogant never gives credit to anybody or mentions good about someone, and if he needed to do so, he would also mention five defects of that person. But if he hears somebody reminding him about his own defects, he will not be flexible nor comply due to his inferiority complex. This is why it is among man's moral integrity to accept criticism or comment without any sensitivity or discomfort or feelings of shame and weakness.
"The two cures are:first, knowledge. The second, action.
First, the knowledge cure is to know and recognise your Lord and to know and recognise your own self as you should be recognised and that it is not worthy of greatness and that true greatness and pride are only for Allah; and, as for self-recognition, we read in the Qur'an:
"Allah ta'ala said, 'Perish man! How thankless he is! Of what did He create him? Of a sperm-drop. He created him, and determined him, and then made the way easy for him. Then He makes him die, buries him, and then, when He wills, raises him.'
This ayat points to the beginning of man's creation, his end, and his middle. Let us understand its meaning.
"As for the beginning of man, he was 'a thing unremembered.' He was concealed in non-existence. Non-existence has no beginning. What is lower and meaner than obliteration and non-existence? He was in non-existence. Then Allah created him from the basest of things, and then from the most unclean thing. He created him from earth and then from a sperm-drop, then a blood-clot. Then He made the bones, and then clothed the bones in flesh. This was the beginning of his existence.
When you begin in this manner, how can you have arrogance, pride, glory and conceit? In fact, man is the weakest of the weak. During your existence, Allah Almighty has given illnesses power over you, whether you like or not, and whether you are content or enraged. You become hungry and thirsty without being able to to do anything about it. You do not possess any power to bring yourself either harm or benefit.
You want to know something but you remain ignorant of it. You want to remember something and yet you forget it. You want to forget something and yet you cannot forget it. You want to direct your heart to what concerns it and yet and you are caught up in the valleys of whisperings and thoughts. You own neither your heart nor your self. You desire something while your destruction may be in it, and you detest something while your life may be in it. You find some foods delicious when they destroy and kill you, and you find remedies repugnant when they help you and save you.
"If you truly know yourself, how can you think yourself worthy of pride?...Your end is death. It is indicated by His word, "Then He makes him die and buries him. Then, when He wills, He raises Him." The meaning here is that your ruh, hearing, sight, knowledge, power, senses, perception, and movement are all stripped away. You revert to the inanimate as you were in the first place. Only the shape of your limbs remains. Your form has neither senses nor movement. Then you are placed in the earth and your limbs decay. You become absent after you existed. You become as if you were not. As you were at first for a long period of time.
"How then can he be arrogant? How can he see himself as anything to which excellence is attached? This is the knowledge-cure."
Then as far as the action-cure is concerned, it says, "it is to humble yourself to people in a constrained unnnatural manner until it becomes natural for you."
Al-hamdu lillah. May Allah guide us to this knowledge and to this action.
We can summarize the teachings of Islam about the Muslim character in the following list:
Be truthful in everything, don’t lie.
Be sincere and straightforward, don’t be hypocritical.
Be honest, don’t be corrupt.
Be humble, don’t be boastful.
Be moderate, don’t be excessive.
Be reserved, don’t be garrulous.
Be soft-spoken, don’t be loud.
Be refined and gentle in speech, don’t curse and use foul language.
Be loving and solicitous to others, don’t be unmindful of them.
Be considerate and compassionate, don’t be harsh.
Be polite and respectful to people, don’t be insulting or disrespectful.
Be generous and charitable, don’t be selfish and miserly.
Be good natured and forgiving, don’t be bitter and resentful.
Share and be content with what Allah has given you, don’t be greedy.
Be cheerful and pleasant, don’t be irritable and morose.
Be chaste and pure, don’t be lustful.
Be alert and aware of the world around you, don’t be absent-minded.
Be dignified and decent, don’t be graceless.
Be optimistic and hopeful, don’t be cynical or pessimistic.
Be confident and have deep faith, don’t be doubtful and wavering.
Be spiritually oriented and not materialistic.
Be confident of the mercy of Allah, don’t be despairing and lose heart.
Be diligent and vigilant of your duties, don’t be negligent.
Be thankful to Allah and constantly pray to Him, don’t be forgetful of His innumerable blessings.
And Allah alone gives success.
Last edited by AabiruSabeel; 05-21-2015 at 02:56 AM.
you might have insecurity issues that might be where the short temper comes from.
i personally find it quite difficult to speak with people in person its not something that i have sought help for though. ive just accepted thats the way i am and how Allah has created me.
shyness always gets misunderstood for arrogance. i also believe its not so good to be free with people either because that also makes people uncomfortable. i have a quite small circle of friends that i can be myself and theY find me quite bubly and funny once they get to know me but it takes for ages for me to warm up to somebody.
i guess many people have also mistaken me for being arrogant. i use to stress over what people thought of me and id constantly get racing thoughts telling me maybe im weird maybe im boring :s maybe i should be loud and let everybody hear me laugh for once
Its not like i never laugh i do but not in a loud tone. sister as long as you dont backbite and gossip about people then you should not worry because once you get to free with people thats exactly what usually happens..
accept who you are and embrace it... why should you change to make others happy?
if everybody was the same it would be pretty boring. as long as you know yourself you are not doing anything wrong and your not hurting any one.
My friend and I have this system because according to her, sometimes I can be a vulture *roll eyes*
But anyway, when I am a 'vulture' I don't realize it obviously, so she reminds me to tone it down, and then I know. And over time you are reminded so often that your behaviour pattern ends up changing.
So now, I am less meaner than I was before But I think somehow my attitude must have rubbed off on her, and now she's really catty, so we've just reversed roles alhamdulillah.
You need a supportive network willing to help you change and remind you that you're acting up. And you also need to be in that mentality that you WANT to change, so when you are reminded of your behaviour, you can take corrective action immediately inshallah
That was a really really brilliant & beneficial talk, subhan Allaah everyone should listen to it. may Allaah bless and reward the brother who gave it and may Allaah bless and reward you. Jazak Allaah Khayr.
I am often accused of being arrogant. I reckon it is the first impression I give. I don't believe I am but that's what I hear about me. Perhaps it's just I'm not very good with 'sweet words' and charming mannerisms. But I don't dismiss people. Still, I'm told that I am.
I can live with that as I feel I'm fairly approachable.
As long as my heart does beat, I shall live, not lie
For when my heart does stop its beat, with truth, I die.
Beware of arrogance - tame it to humbleness. Your anger is your ticket to hell. Kill it before it burns you.
Instead, adopt humility and humbleness - these are not weaknesses but strengths and lead to better reflection and contemplation.
If you are accused of being arrogant - - you probably are arrogant. How does on kill arrogance? Study the seerah of nabi rusool pbuh and see how humble he was.... and how arrogant the quraish were.
As for being a feared person - that is not respect, dont get it twisted. That is fear. And if people fear you then you are a fool for makinh people feel like that as a muslim.
Imam Ghazali(RA) once said "The difference between vanity & arrogance is that vanity only requires a mirror; arrogance always requires another person."
So ask yourself when you speak against another are you doing for the benefit of that person or your own benefit. Arrogance leads to the worst shirk which is the shirk of Pharaoh. iblis was ousted also due to arrogance and pride.
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Sister,
). And maintaining good relationships is an important thing as a muslim (also when you get married haha
Re: Being accused of beign arrogant ?
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