Confidence

[Ummu Sufyaan]

what does confidence mean to you?

what are the causes of low confidence?

how does one overcome a low level of confidence?

how to you advise someone with a low level of confidence?

how should one overcome people belittling them because they know that that person isnt very confident...so basically they use it against them.

can there be such thing as over confidence? is it something bad? why?

how do you differentiate between being confident and being arrogant? is it as long as you don't demean others and make them feel belittled and think of yourself better than others, then this is a good/acceptable level of confidence?

[Salahudeen]

VERY good questions, I think confidence is to believe in yourself. I don't know the answer to your other questions :|

but I wonder where to draw the line between confident and "cocky and arrogant" its confusing, when you try to be confident you may appear to be arrogant :s

[Alpha Dude]

what does confidence mean to you?

Strong faith in Allah. Nothing else matters.

what are the causes of low confidence?

Negative life experiences coupled with lack of coping mechanism and lack of understanding of our true purpose on this Earth. Someone with the correct approach to life that has true tawakul/trust in Allah and realises that Allah is fully in control of all our affairs and realises this world is a test, when he is faced with hardship, has far greater ability to cope with it than one that is clueless. He retains confidence in Allah and Allah strengthens him by giving him confidence in his life in return.

how does one overcome a low level of confidence?

how to you advise someone with a low level of confidence?

We need conviction in belief. When we make dua, we do so with hundred percent certainty. We perservere despite all odds. We trust in Allah.

how should one overcome people belittling them because they know that that person isnt very confident...so basically they use it against them.

I would say to that person to bear it with patience. Sticks and stones. Don't be so weak that words can break you. At the end of the day, we have to realise that there are people at differing levels of understanding and at different states of faith. The one with lower understanding and wisdom is the one that would resort to belittlement. Why should the belittled one feel inadequate when he has done nothing wrong? Just bear their injustices with patience and make dua that others can overcome their arrogance and be granted a superior attitude to life.

If you have confidence and trust in Allah and a strong relationship with him, you wouldn't care what a million people think of or do to you. You'd realise that Allah is in full control and he is doing what is best for you, even if you don't understand the specifics of it.

can there be such thing as over confidence? is it something bad? why?

It depends on the kind of confidence and one's attitude to life. If someone thinks everything he does is out of his natural abilities and that he is better than others, then without doubt that is bad and a negative character trait. It's arrogance and we all know how bad a sin that is.

On the other hand, a person that is very confident in his abilities but attributes his success to Allah and never takes his skills for granted, would be behaving in a praiseworthy manner.

how do you differentiate between being confident and being arrogant? is it as long as you don't demean others and make them feel belittled and think of yourself better than others, then this is a good/acceptable level of confidence?

You've answered your own question here.

[h-n]

My only confidence comes from remembering Allah and the Day of Judgement.
Remembering the Day of Judgement means that I know that I won't care about how others think of me, as we are all looking towards Allah. If others were bullying you, you would look down on them on the Day of Judgement and say why did I waste my time worrying about what you think and say to me.

I have been accused of being arrogant. So I can relate to that, I have answered them by saying how many arrogant people remember the Day of Judgement? That I am not an attention seeker and not into idle talk. Arrogant people put others down, withold information so as not to help others get ahead.

Muslims rememeber that everyone will stand on the Day of Judgement, so don't belittle others, as they are good enough to be judged by Allah on the Day of Judgement, your not to treat them if they are stupid, nothing.

To be strong in faith, Allah is not going to call you arrogant for being strong in faith. To not be afraid of unbelievers and actually he has told us not to be afraid of infidels-don't want to derail this thread. But Allah is not asking anyone to be cautious of what to embrace from the Quran when being a Muslim. At the end of the Day you have your place in Paradise to lose.

[cat eyes]

believing in Allah and the last day and being confident thats all very good as long as your not hurting anybody by being to over confident in yourself.

there should be a balance in your behaviour. you should always feel afraid too that maybe one day you might stray off the path. you should be afraid for yourself 24/7

this is not my opinion, i heard a scholar saying this in a lecture and its very true.

You should just be at a medium level so that your not that over confident to the extent that you feel you have a right to judge others

i don't really know about your other questions because i suffer from low confidence myself lol

[Asiyah3]

what does confidence mean to you?

Confidence means strong trust in Allah SWT, the All-Hearer the All-Knower. In actions it can be seen as working as much as you can in order to achieve your goal and the ability to put your trust in Allah SWT.

For example you have an exam tomorrow. You need to score an excellent grade, but you haven't studied at all. In this case you have two options left;

• a) Give up and don't study.
• b) Study, and trust and put your faith in Allah SWT.

The two causes of low confidence, insecurity and dissatisfaction, develop only and only when you let worldly issues affect you. So basically, remove the things that make you uncertain/dissatisfied. Nothing can touch you unless you let it.

Over confidence is positive or negative depending on what you use it.

how do you differentiate between being confident and being arrogant?

Arrogance means to look down upon others, whereas confidence doesn't have anything to do with the way you perceive others.

Confidence might be one source to strength or courage. However, don't make yourself look arrogant. Be humble and modest.

[h-n]

Just like to say that there is a difference of being confident with Allah -were you should fear Allah, and being confident with people. Allah does not have an issue with people being strong in Islam. Even the magicians at Pharoah's court were willing to have their hands and feet chopped off etc-as they were strong in Islam and feared Allah sending them to Hell, so why should they be afraid of Phaorah and other people when they will regret it when they are dead.

[Muslimeen]

how do you differentiate between being confident and being arrogant?

In my opinion, being confident would be when you feel you can do something.
Being arrogant, would be when you feel ONLY YOU can do something.

[Ummu Sufyaan]

Strong faith in Allah. Nothing else matters.

My only confidence comes from remembering Allah and the Day of Judgement.
Remembering the Day of Judgement means that I know that I won't care about how others think of me, as we are all looking towards Allah. If others were bullying you, you would look down on them on the Day of Judgement and say why did I waste my time worrying about what you think and say to me.
Negative life experiences coupled with lack of coping mechanism and lack of understanding of our true purpose on this Earth. Someone with the correct approach to life that has true tawakul/trust in Allah and realises that Allah is fully in control of all our affairs and realises this world is a test, when he is faced with hardship, has far greater ability to cope with it than one that is clueless. He retains confidence in Allah and Allah strengthens him by giving him confidence in his life in return.

Confidence means strong trust in Allah SWT, the All-Hearer the All-Knower. In actions it can be seen as working as much as you can in order to achieve your goal and the ability to put your trust in Allah SWT.

For example you have an exam tomorrow. You need to score an excellent grade, but you haven't studied at all. In this case you have two options left;

• a) Give up and don't study.
• b) Study, and trust and put your faith in Allah SWT.

believing in Allah and the last day and being confident thats all very good as long as your not hurting anybody by being to over confident in yourself.

you all have mentioned that confidence is associated with iman. in which sense exactly? if you mean confidence in having hope that your deeds (eg prayer etc) will be accepted, i understand that. but in terms of things you aspire to in this dunya for example getting a job, studying, etc then why is that associated with iman?

of course iman is relevant in this case, but in which sense? the way im seeing this, is sort of like how some people say no love matters except for Allah and as long as you love wallah, then loving no-one else matter. but to me, this type of concept makes zero sense because we are all people and we all need the love of someone be it a parent, wife, child, etc. Divine love is different from the way you love people. even the love for your parents differs from your love for your siblings and the love for your siblings differs from your love for your friends and so on.

so in the same sense, how does iman fit into the equation of confidence?

I would say to that person to bear it with patience. Sticks and stones. Don't be so weak that words can break you. At the end of the day, we have to realise that there are people at differing levels of understanding and at different states of faith. The one with lower understanding and wisdom is the one that would resort to belittlement. Why should the belittled one feel inadequate when he has done nothing wrong? Just bear their injustices with patience and make dua that others can overcome their arrogance and be granted a superior attitude to life.

nothing other than it just plain hurts. its the fact that they come to you with a (for eg) "you know what, you're stupid " its the tone if you will and by them saying what they say, its like they are saying "im bigger then you and your just somewhere else below." its the fact that they put themselves in a higher position and maybe that's why you believe them because through their harsh words i guess it make them sound authoritative and you listen/accept what those in authority. its not the words, it more like the attitude.

on the side: how would you advise children about bullying and self esteem. kids tend to act on instinct "child sees, child does" so they will be more vulnerable to hurtful comment and are likely to believe them. what do you say to a child who cant seem to be making friends.

It depends on the kind of confidence and one's attitude to life. If someone thinks everything he does is out of his natural abilities and that he is better than others, then without doubt that is bad and a negative character trait. It's arrogance and we all know how bad a sin that is.

is it arrogant to think you are better/more suited for doing something than someone else? how should one reverse their ill feelings taken into account that these feelings stem from the heart and it isnt possible to physically change them like certain other sins that are physical and can be changed.

The two causes of low confidence, insecurity and dissatisfaction, develop only and only when you let worldly issues affect you.

how can worldly affairs NOT affect you?

So basically, remove the things that make you uncertain/dissatisfied. Nothing can touch you unless you let it.

how and what if they aren't in your hands.

Over confidence is positive or negative depending on what you use it.

could you give examples of both.

[Asiyah3]

you all have mentioned that confidence is associated with iman. in which sense exactly? if you mean confidence in having hope that your deeds (eg prayer etc) will be accepted, i understand that. but in terms of things you aspire to in this dunya for example getting a job, studying, etc then why is that associated with iman?

of course iman is relevant in this case, but in which sense? the way im seeing this, is sort of like how some people say no love matters except for Allah and as long as you love wallah, then loving no-one else matter. but to me, this type of concept makes zero sense because we are all people and we all need the love of someone be it a parent, wife, child, etc. Divine love is different from the way you love people. even the love for your parents differs from your love for your siblings and the love for your siblings differs from your love for your friends and so on.

so in the same sense, how does iman fit into the equation of confidence?

I'll use myself as an example. I'd like to apply to a certain university, which is very hard to get into.

In a worldly sense, I have no chance at all to get accepted. Give me one reason as to why I should try and disappoint myself? Why should I raise false hopes and increase my love for that uni?

As a Muslim, I believe Allah hears my prayers and knows my intentions best. I'm certain that if I strive hard, do my best & pray to Allah, be patient and follow His commandmends, my prayers won't go empty for sure.

how can worldly affairs NOT affect you?

how and what if they aren't in your hands.

You can be happy even if you're in a wheelchair, poor or deseased.

I can either cry, be ungrateful and have a low confidence, because I'm in a wheelchair, poor and have no means to protect myself. Or be grateful, things can always be worse and trust Allah SWT as my Protector.

could you give examples of both.

Negative:
A lady gets married to a non-religious man with a bad attitide, because she's positive she can change him.

Generally, it's negative because it's unrealistic.

Positive:
A Da'wah maker keeps striving while the case is desperate.

It's positive, because it encourages to strive and be patient even when the situation is hopeless.