Non Biased Help Required

[Scorpian]

Hey IB
I`ve just popped back because i need some non biased help, and i have no where else to go and no one else to talk to, and this is just driven me insane.
Ok so here it is, i was talking to my mum about me being a muslim and she said thursday night i can either be a muslim or a spiritualst i can`t be both.
Now my situation, i lost my dad when i was 17 i`m now 20 and i only have my mum from close family left, i she and my dog mean the world to me,though tbh my mum is a pain sometimes .
It says in the quran to respect and treat your parents right,and i read today in from my book called "40 hadiths of muhammed" that he said to obey your parents.
My heart is leaning towards being a muslim, but i`m worried about my mum, i mean i`m worried she`s gonna be all upset over it,i mean she feels lonely and stressed as it is.

Do you think it`ll be ok for me to come back to islam after my mum has passed over?(sounds/feels so wrong saying that)

Now please remember i need an ubiased opinion and remember that allah knows all so if you are not giving me an unbiased op then that one bad deed listed down i guess.

Anyways thanks

[Ummu Sufyaan]

its going to be hard giving a non-bias opinion since im muslim, but for what its worth:

-being a revert does in no way denote disrespect to parents. Islam encourages the upholding of blood ties and has commanded us to treat our parents well even if the are non-muslim so there is no need to worry.

-if you are concerned about her reaction to your reverting, be kind to her none-the-less as she still lacks understanding of your new way of life so do as best as you can to explain to her and reassure her that no matter what, you are still her son and wont abandon her.

-since the passing of your father she will definatly feel a lot more lonely and will need that extra support so dont deny her that.

[aadil77]

In islam you have to respect your parents to the extent it doesn't go against the commands of Allah, so if you were to become muslim you wouldn't leave islam because it makes your mum upset, your obedience to Allah is more important

What you can do is become muslim and keep it underground a bit, don't display a dramatic change to your mum and slowly implement islam and explain to her certain teachings and the reasoning behind them, slowly you never know islam might make sense to your mum as well InshAllah.

Although I was born muslim (so I will sound biased), If I was new to islam and islam was the way for me then I would love to pass it on to other family members as I'd know it would be best for them too.

So take everything easy, first accept islam yourself (If you're certain), then put your trust in Allah and watch how everything will work out for the best InshAllah


Also there have been many revert members here who have been in a similar situation to you so wait for their replies

[Muslim Woman]

Salaam/Peace


thanks for coming back

love your mom and obey Allah , God willing it won't be that hard as u are thinking.

If u really beleive , Islam is the truth , then don't wait for anyone's permission or mom's death. Instead pray that God will guide her to Islam .

[Scorpian]

In islam you have to respect your parents to the extent it doesn't go against the commands of Allah, so if you were to become muslim you wouldn't leave islam because it makes your mum upset, your obedience to Allah is more important

What you can do is become muslim and keep it underground a bit, don't display a dramatic change to your mum and slowly implement islam and explain to her certain teachings and the reasoning behind them, slowly you never know islam might make sense to your mum as well InshAllah.

Although I was born muslim (so I will sound biased), If I was new to islam and islam was the way for me then I would love to pass it on to other family members as I'd know it would be best for them too.

So take everything easy, first accept islam yourself (If you're certain), then put your trust in Allah and watch how everything will work out for the best InshAllah


Also there have been many revert members here who have been in a similar situation to you so wait for their replies

I thought of doing that but i`d need to go to the mosque every friday though won`t i, or will allah understand?

[YusufNoor]

unbiased? not sure...

let me decipher what i can from your post:

Ok so here it is, i was talking to my mum about me being a muslim and she said thursday night i can either be a muslim or a spiritualst i can`t be both.

your mom is a ...spiritualist? and you're worried that she'll be "biased against you" if you become a Muslim?

Do you think it`ll be ok for me to come back to islam after my mum has passed over?

well, do you know how long you will live? do you have a guarantee that you will out live your mom?

fact: my mom, as well as my sisters, are Catholic. once i became a Muslim i began calling my mom regularly [or semi-regularly], we are now closer than ever.

opinion: you understand Islam for the most part, but you feel like a nOOb. as a nOOb, you [feel that you] KNOW there is NO WAY that you can explain Islam sufficiently to ANYONE so that they could understand your choice. ergo, mom will never understand, we'll drift apart...

opinion: MAYBE Allah is guiding you at this particular time IN ORDER to save your mom as well! Allah chose these moments for you to ponder the questions that you are dealing with, it's called Qadr.

problem: how do you "master" the topic of Islam in order to spread understanding of it?

i know of 4 brothers to turn to:

Dr Bilal Philips, his Foundations of Islamic Studies, found at the bottom of this page, is nearly 18 hours long and gives the best overall English explanation of the din [the all inclusiveness of the Religion]:

http://www.bilalphilips.com/bilal_pa...sk=view&id=288

he also has online courses:

http://www.islamiconlineuniversity.c...rses&Itemid=20

the Mufti of Zimbabwe, Ismail ibn Musa Menk. probably the most dynamic Muslim preacher/speaker i've ever heard! i've learned an enormous amount from him. you can hear alot of his lectures here:

http://www.muftimenk.co.za/Downloads.html

Dr Bashar Shala. my FAVORITE Islamic historian. he's currently redoing his Seerah, but also check out the Stories from al Kahf:

http://www.pleasantviewschool.com/me...wi%20%28saw%29

Al Kahf:

http://www.pleasantviewschool.com/me..._Surah_Al-Kahf

and this new source that i just found this week, Sheikh Abdullah al Farsi. you can download his lectures and burn them with pretty good quality. this set on the pillars of iman is great at about 6 hours long:

http://www.qsep.com/EemanDVD/index.htm

just click on the topics, Allah, Angels, Books, Messengers, Last Day or Predestination. each will take you to a page to download that set. you can fit it on 2 dvds quite easily.

for Dawah specific, Kamal el Mekki is a genius:

http://www.kalamullah.com/kamal-el-mekki.html

i hope that this helps you, In Sha'a Allah.

May Allah make it easy on you and may He guide you and yours, Ameen.

[Snowflake]

Accept islam, and be the model son. No other religion in the world upholds the status Islam gives to parents. When your mother sees your love, respect and appreciation for increase through Islam, she will have no objection to it, and inshaAllah she too might be inspired by the change in you. Remember your mum has said you can be a muslim. Now all you have to do is prove to her that you made the right choice. May Allah bless you and make it easy for you. Ameen.

[Hamza Asadullah]

Hey IB
I`ve just popped back because i need some non biased help, and i have no where else to go and no one else to talk to, and this is just driven me insane.
Ok so here it is, i was talking to my mum about me being a muslim and she said thursday night i can either be a muslim or a spiritualst i can`t be both.
Now my situation, i lost my dad when i was 17 i`m now 20 and i only have my mum from close family left, i she and my dog mean the world to me,though tbh my mum is a pain sometimes .
It says in the quran to respect and treat your parents right,and i read today in from my book called "40 hadiths of muhammed" that he said to obey your parents.
My heart is leaning towards being a muslim, but i`m worried about my mum, i mean i`m worried she`s gonna be all upset over it,i mean she feels lonely and stressed as it is.

Do you think it`ll be ok for me to come back to islam after my mum has passed over?(sounds/feels so wrong saying that)

Now please remember i need an ubiased opinion and remember that allah knows all so if you are not giving me an unbiased op then that one bad deed listed down i guess.

Anyways thanks

Hello there, well i do know people who have been in your position and what they did was to accept Islam but not tell their parents and family straight away but they chose to tell them in their own time when they felt the time is right. You should also do the same.

The thing is that time is not on our side. Our deaths can come at ANY second so therefore if we know that there is no worthy of worship except Allah and that Muhammed (Pbuh) is the messenger of Allah then without a doubt you should proclaim this at your local Masjid and take things from there slowly as in break it to your mother when you feel the time is right for that is what my friend who is also a revert did. You will also eventually meet a lot of reverts who were in the same position as you before they reverted so accept Islam and proclaim the shahada as soon as is possible and take things from there gradually.

Also Ramadan is nearly here which is the most blessed month so what better time than now to accept the truth and you will feel the most amazing feelings you have ever felt in Ramadan. If you have anymore questions then please do not hesitate to ask.

and Allah knows best in all matters