What do you do when you're angry :O ?

**marwen** · 07-23-2010

Ok don't look at me , just answer the question.

I know there is good tips to deal with anger from hadeeth of the prophet Salla Allahu Alayhi wa sallam : like sitting down if your are standing up, or making wudu, etc.
I also want to have other ideas.

Some wise man asked me one question that day : "How old are you when you're angry ?", and you know what, he had a point ! coz sometimes when I'm angry I behave like a 9 year old kid. Anger is really so stupid. That's why the Prophet Salla Allahu Alayhi wa Sallam ordered a sahabi to avoid being angry.

So how you deal with anger ? (no lies )

**marwen** · 07-23-2010

if you have other tips please post them.

**Muslimeen** · 07-23-2010

I think the best way is to just walk away.

**sister herb** · 07-23-2010

I know it is not best way but many times I would just like to break something...

but I try my best it is not anything expensive.

**Muslimeen** · 07-23-2010

Originally Posted by sister harb

I know it is not best way but many times I would just like to break something...

but I try my best it is not anything expensive.

This is funny I must admit, maybe next time you should try breaking something expensive then hopefully when you get angry again you will remember how it hurt the pocket.

**Asiyah3** · 07-23-2010

I either try to shut up or I walk away to another room. I at times cry when the person who angers me is close to my heart and means a lot to me, like my mother.

**Misz_Muslimah** · 07-23-2010

I try to be quiet ..

**Woodrow** · 07-23-2010

We must first understand there are different things labeled as anger. There is righteous anger, which is an emotion we should feel when we see a wrong committed, such as the abuse of a child. This anger should be a goad that prods us into action to correct the wrong.

However, the most common anger seems to be "Self-righteous" anger. We feel somebody has done something that harms our persona. When we identify the cause it turns out it is no different from the anger we felt when we were 3 years old and we ran screaming to our mother "Mommy, Johnny made faces at me!!!" We take this anger as personal and we often lash out at it. The secret is to look closely at things that make us angry and honestly ask our selves. "Is this really worth getting my blood pressure raised to stroke level and making me feel lousy for the rest of the day?" If it isn't just smile and think to your self, "What a jerk."

**glo** · 07-23-2010

When I get angry I try to take time out to reflect on why I am angry, whether I am justified to feel angry or whether the problem actually lies with myself.

The best way I find to do that is to actually remove myself from the situation (by walking away if possible) and to concentrate on something else for a while to give myself thinking space.
I might like to go for a walk or a run, or I might like to sit somewhere quietly to pray or reflect

Often I find that after only a little while the anger subsides and I can see more clearly how best to deal with the situation appropriately and constructively.

I agree with Woodrow that anger can be a positive motivator - but only when we manage to channel the energy into constructive methods.

**PouringRain** · 07-23-2010

It takes a lot to get me angry, and I often hold things in and take it for as long as possible. Like Woodrow and Glo said, it also can depend on what it is that makes me angry/ the type of anger it is. I also try and think if it is something I have done, or if I am overreacting, or if it is justifiable.

Sometime it helps me just to be able to talk about it to someone, and just release it. Then I can feel better and be at peace. It helps just to pray, listen to music that glorifies God, and read scripture. Sometimes if I am very, very angry then I just go and start cleaning. That always helps me feel better just to clean. Sometimes I may just need a good cry in the shower.

**cat eyes** · 07-23-2010

Originally Posted by Woodrow

We must first understand there are different things labeled as anger. There is righteous anger, which is an emotion we should feel when we see a wrong committed, such as the abuse of a child. This anger should be a goad that prods us into action to correct the wrong.

yeh bro woodrow Allah said in holy Qur'an he will pardon this type of anger. theres no blame on them.

**Asiyah3** · 07-23-2010

Originally Posted by cat eyes

yeh bro woodrow Allah said in holy Qur'an he will pardon this type of anger. theres no blame on them.

Could you please reference the Surah and verse? Jazakiallah.

**cat eyes** · 07-23-2010

Originally Posted by **muslimah**

Could you please reference the Surah and verse? Jazakiallah.

Verse 39:53

039.053 Say: "O my Servants who have transgressed against their souls! Despair not of the Mercy of Allah: for Allah forgives all sins: for He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.

I will make thread on mercy and forgiveness of Allah ive loads verses here.

**glo** · 07-23-2010

Originally Posted by PouringRain

Sometimes if I am very, very angry then I just go and start cleaning. That always helps me feel better just to clean.

Yep, cleaning is good too - and doubly beneficial!

**Cabdullahi** · 07-23-2010

when i was younger i would smash plates and fight but now i stay quiet and calm Alhamdulilah

**Salahudeen** · 07-23-2010

When I get angry I get an over whelming desire to break something I don't know why, and it's as if I can't forget about the anger untill I've broken something it's like a release if that makes sense I don't know how to explain it. Other things help as well such as grabbing a bat and just hitting something repeatedly, I feel really good after like it's all been released.

**جوري** · 07-23-2010

I go into a sort of withdrawal from people, but if I am irked during this period of withdrawal and reflection then hell breaks loose, and I think it has happened twice where I was in a very angry/sad state, and my mom and sis kept pushing my buttons (their way of getting me to talk) and I ended up destroying a few items while asking them both to leave me alone..

I really can't stand being around people when angry, and I detest consolation from others because I find it cheap and ill fitting.. during withdrawal I can do the laundry or take a bath both are comforting...

I think the secret it just to let it blow, so if you have folks like me in your lives, try to understand that sometimes people need their space and don't mistake their quietude as a form of reaching with the desire to be comforted.. yes some people like that but some others are very turned off from that...

**~Raindrop~** · 07-23-2010

^^ I agree. Now everyone's learned to let me be when I'm like that.

I usually go for a long walk on my own to help clear my mind.

**Cabdullahi** · 07-23-2010

Originally Posted by Aisha

^^ I agree. Now everyone's learned to let me be when I'm like that.

I usually go for a long walk on my own to help clear my mind.

long walks?? unusual for tomb boys ......you gotta break some plates!!

**glo** · 07-23-2010

Originally Posted by τhε ṿαlε'ṡ lïlÿ

I really can't stand being around people when angry, and I detest consolation from others because I find it cheap and ill fitting..

It's interesting to hear that. It's not something I feel myself, and therefore I struggle to understand that other people might feel like that.

Originally Posted by τhε ṿαlε'ṡ lïlÿ

I think the secret it just to let it blow, so if you have folks like me in your lives, try to understand that sometimes people need their space and don't mistake their quietude as a form of reaching with the desire to be comforted.. yes some people like that but some others are very turned off from that...

My husband is one of those people who goes very quiet and needs to be left alone ... and I am the one saying "What's wrong? Something is wrong! Why won't you tell me what's wrong?? ... "
I have learned (sometimes the hard way) to leave him be when he is like that - but I don't like it, not one little bit!