Ive decided to post this annonmously, cos im kinda embarassed. I'll try and keep it brief and to the point.
3 of my siblings hate me. growing up i know sibling rivalry is the norm, but the thing is im 29, my sis is 27 and we just dont get on, in fact her attitide stinks, and shes not just like that with me, but cos shes like the way she is, people just kinda take it.
she treats me like crap, esp wen we have people round. I try and stay quite, cos its hardly good hurling abuse, with guests around. just yesterday, she made me look stupid in front of family, i just sat back and tuk it cos it was eid, and i thort it takes the bigger person to walk way. I do admit its not always been the case, ive given as good as ive got but this ramadan, i feel like ive a bit more restaint/patience than wat i had b4, so i can walk away. then ysday, whilst watching telly, during an argument with our younger sibling, i decided to try and calm things, and she laughed in my face, saying that it was going to be a mission finding me a husband cos im past it and no1 wants to marry me. This hasnt been the first time shes sed this, but the issues related to a husband are nothing 2 do with her. (in my community im seen as a reject/burden what eva you wana call it, cos im passed marital age) yet at every opportunity, she can bring me down in minutes. Ive always tried to do my best by my younga siblings but all of them treat me like crap. my youngest sibling (age 11) last nite sed he wished i would die, cos i told him off for something. in fact he screamed it at me. then reconfirmed it to me 2day.
why is this happening ? & please dont say its a test, cos its always bin like this, just now its getting more nastier. Every1 says im 2 quite and people walk ova me, but the thing is wat do i do ? I dont like confrontation and i just want a quite life.
Last nite wen i thort wat both of them had sed to me, i ended up crying into my pillow, on eid day of all days. its like we cant even be nyc to each other for 1 day. only half hour before, yesterday, i was arranging to go out for a family meal, cos im trying to bridge the differences, yet it just gets chucked back in my face.
the thing is 27 isnt young. so what right has she got to treat me like this ? also shes a habit of constantly *****ing about me to rest of the extended family and even our friends. which is why i dont bother with her, im civil but thats it, i made th effort yesterday cos of eid now i wished i hadnt bothered. she always gives me constant heartache, and wen i think about what she does to me, i just cant stand her. the thing is i know shes up2 no good and a couple of times ive nearly brought the truth to the surface but i managed to hold back and let it go. shes old enuf to know shes sinning, so who am i to reveal her sins.
a few weeks ago in a conversation to my mum, we were discussing music and i mentioned how certain types werent islamic like qawali/western etc. she was sat in the same room and sed, " i dont know where she gets her information from? i wud love to know which scholar she follows cos he talks bullsh** like her.
I dont know what ive done wrong ?
any advice would be appreciated, i feel like ive put up with this for a few years, and i dont know how long i can take this for ? im a person too with feelings.
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