im a muslim brother and i just seem so lost and dont enjoy life at all because of things that i have done and keep doin. i dont know how i got into this, i cant even remember how it started. i swear by allah's name i would have left her long time ago if she wasnt my family. but i love her so much and look at her with caring eyes but my love for her aint greater than my love for allah but i love her more than anything in this world. i would even take a bullet for her and always hopin she doesnt die before me so she can get a chance to repent but its not her fault at all its like its meant to happen. i was young and she was quite young aswell, the fact that i broke her virginity cannot leave me. and i promised her on allah's name that i will never leave her and that i will always be there for her. even if anything happens between me and her that i will always stay with her never ever marry anyone. the story is kinda complicated. but i worry so much i dont know what options i would leave her if i ever leave her. my whole face gets washed in tears sometimes when i think anything bad about her shes just my heart and i dont feel anything else about other girls i would rather be alone than being without her coz i know what she will go through. many nights i just lie down on my bed, and by any chance allah,s thought runs through my head i wont stop crying. and thinking what im gonna say to allah even makes me cry more. i dont know how to explain my love for allah. i believe in allah so much that i would think about allah most of my days and nights im becoming crazy you can say. i consider myself worthless and i dont have love for this duniya at all. but i just cant leave her, i cant even stay for a day without seing her. i care too much about her. i dont like seeing her in pain. i know people might find this disguisting but im being honest i dont know what to do. and if your sayin leave her i cant do that either. you can say i cant stay without her. everytime i think, what am i gonna say to allah? tears wash up my whole face. please help
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if she is your own brother's daughter , then it's haram to marry her . So , leave her right now .
Offer your sincere repentance to Allah . What wrong has done already , don't repeat it . Leave the place where she lives , go away from her. Yes , it must be hard but remember about the punishment on hereafter . Then may be , it will be easy for u to take the right decision.
May Allah help you to end this haram relationship.
Christ will never be proud to reject to be a slave to God .....holy Quran, chapter Women , 4: 172
You say you love her and can not leave her, but loving someone is not always about being with them but about doing what is best for the person that you love. The two of you being together is not right if it was you wouldnt be feeling so distressed. Your relationship is not benefiting you or her in this life or the hereafter and if you continue this things could get even more complicated.
You should just leave her, harder said than done but you can do it bro inshallah.
Take some time to focus on your life and turn to Allah for forgiveness and guidance.
May Allah help and bless you.
"O son of Adam, as long as you call upon Me and put your hope in Me, I have forgiven you for what you have done and I do not mind. O son of Adam, if your sins were to reach the clouds of the sky and then you would seek My forgiveness, I would forgive you. O son of Adam, if you were to come to Me with sins that are close to filling the earth and then you would meet Me without ascribing any partners with Me, I would certainly bring to you forgiveness close to filling it."
Say: O My servants who have transgressed against their own souls, despair not of the mercy of Allah. Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Truly, He is Most Forgiving, Most Merciful. (Surah az-Zumar 39:53)
"Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why we call it 'The Present'."
Be a Man! A real man will never try to take advantage of his own niece. Ur niece is like ur daughter, how can u look at a daughter inappropiately let alone treat her the way u did. Do u realise wat u are doing here? Who will ever marry ur niece knowing what happened between the two of u? If u love someone as much as u claim u dont knowingly destroy their dignity, their dunya and most importantly their akhirah!
Learn Patience from Asiyah, Loyalty from Khadijah, Sincerity from Aisha and Steadfastness from Fatima.
You can't really do much about the past at this point. What you can do, however, is change yourself. Turn a new leaf. I'm sure you're a smart fellow. Just leave her, as she will be taken care of as necessary.
I don't know what to say honestly but you know very well what you should be doing. She is completely haraam for you, there's not even a loophole for this. I'm sure it crosses your mind that she is your brothers daughter. If you truly love Allaah swt you must must musttt leave her. I know your "feelings" make it difficult but trust me this type of love you have for her is not real because this type of act is absolutely forbidden. She's not even someone you can marry. You're only ruining her life and yours.
I can't imagine how her parents would react if they found out, especially your own brother. I don't wanna be mean about this but wallaahi this is serious and it's nothing but good for you if you stopped. That uncle and niece relationship is pretty much ruined but inshaallah dont make it any worse by staying with her, as you cannot be with her and you never can. This is a fact. Your love for her should not be transcending your love for your Rabb. Allaah has more right to it than any human being because no one could ever do for you what Allaah can and has. So please please for the sake of your aakhirah and hers, leave it. I dont want to sugarcoat it to make you feel better but rather I wish to make you think about the mess that you're in and how serious it is. I want that fear and love for Allaah to enter in your heart and about the consequences.
There shouldn't even BE a poll for this honestly. No one in their right mind would agree with you staying with her.
Seek muchhh repentance from Allaah as He is Most Forgiving.
May Allaah make it easy for you, Ameen.
Last edited by Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн; 01-31-2011 at 11:35 PM.
Reason: typos
*Without Allah, without Islam, life would be meaningless. If I've ever learned patience, it's because of this. Alhamdulillah...*
You didn't say how old you both are; not that it matters. Leave, go far away, get yourself a legit woman, live your life.
He said they were both quite young...
I have uncles my age and younger/older than me and I really don't understand how these type of relationships can even begin. Why do you even start seeing them in such a way?
I agree with Mila and may Allah ease your affairs.
format_quote Originally Posted by Mila
You say you love her and can not leave her, but loving someone is not always about being with them but about doing what is best for the person that you love. The two of you being together is not right if it was you wouldnt be feeling so distressed.
im a muslim brother and i just seem so lost and dont enjoy life at all because of things that i have done and keep doin. i dont know how i got into this, i cant even remember how it started. i swear by allah's name i would have left her long time ago if she wasnt my family. but i love her so much and look at her with caring eyes but my love for her aint greater than my love for allah but i love her more than anything in this world. i would even take a bullet for her and always hopin she doesnt die before me so she can get a chance to repent but its not her fault at all its like its meant to happen. i was young and she was quite young aswell, the fact that i broke her virginity cannot leave me. and i promised her on allah's name that i will never leave her and that i will always be there for her. even if anything happens between me and her that i will always stay with her never ever marry anyone. the story is kinda complicated. but i worry so much i dont know what options i would leave her if i ever leave her. my whole face gets washed in tears sometimes when i think anything bad about her shes just my heart and i dont feel anything else about other girls i would rather be alone than being without her coz i know what she will go through. many nights i just lie down on my bed, and by any chance allah,s thought runs through my head i wont stop crying. and thinking what im gonna say to allah even makes me cry more. i dont know how to explain my love for allah. i believe in allah so much that i would think about allah most of my days and nights im becoming crazy you can say. i consider myself worthless and i dont have love for this duniya at all. but i just cant leave her, i cant even stay for a day without seing her. i care too much about her. i dont like seeing her in pain. i know people might find this disguisting but im being honest i dont know what to do. and if your sayin leave her i cant do that either. you can say i cant stay without her. everytime i think, what am i gonna say to allah? tears wash up my whole face. please help
Asalaamu Alaikum, My brother surely what you are doing is angering Allah and is totally forbidden. Would you want the same to happn to your daughter? Put yourself in the position of your brother would you approve if you found out what your daughter was getting upto with your brother? Surely this is a shameful act you are committing and you would not want the same for your daughter then why are you doing the same to your brothers daughter?
If you claim to love Allah more then would you not do anything to please him? Would you not leave anything which displeases the one you love more than anyone or anything? Surely then you should prove your love otherwise they are just empty words. Prove your love to Allah and leave your neice for you are going to ruin her life to.
Do you think your brother and family will approve of such a relationship? Do you think there is anyway of you and her being together? Not only will you ruin her life but you will ruin the life of your brother and your family. You will also ruin your akhirah. Do not think this will ruin yours and her life. Both of your hearts will heal with time and ask of Allah to put some solace and peace into your hearts but the longer you drag this the more painful it is going to be. You should hope Allah never reveals this for it will ruin all of your lives and your family will never look at you in the sameway again.
Therefore decide what is more important to you? Your own selfish lust and desires? Or the long term happiness of your neice, brother and family and most important of all the happiness and pleasure of Allah. As long as you stay with her you have the anger of Allah aswell as potentially scarring and ruining the lives of your family who will never want to even look at you in the same way again and would you blame them if they felt this way after they found out what you have been upto with your niece?
The choice is yours but whatever you do, do not try to justify or somehow try to find a loophole because there is no way you can ever be with her so you must wake up from this false dream and wake up into reality.
The reality is that what you are doing is totally forbidden and there is no excuse for it. You cannot say "It just happened". These things never just happen. They happen gradually through friendship first and then lead to more. You had no right to be-friend her and get so close to her in the first place especially as you both were young so inevitabley feelings will arise.
It is shaythan who is delluding you by telling you that this just happened by decree because it was meant to. NO it happened because you be-friended her and was free with her and therefore fell for her after getting close to her. If you had kept a distance as you should have done especially when you both were young then this would not have happened.
But now that it has happened we need to rectify the situation and the ONLY way to rectify it would be to cut off all contact with her and keep a distance. You may think "It is easy to say" but do you understand what is at stake here?
1. Your brother and family will never talk to you again and may even disown you forever.
2. Your niece will live a miserable existence if her family and parents found out. More so than if you ended things with her now.
3. You are angering Allah and if you die in this state then Allah will remain angry with you and you risk the grave punishment aswell as the fire of Jahannam
Are these three reasons not enough to make you cut off relations with her? If you truly care for her and if you truly love Allah like you claim you do then you must do the right thing and leave her immediatley. That is the ONLY way. Otherwise the more you drag this the worst it will get for you and her and your akhirah. So you know what the right thing is to do now.
Accept that you have done a big mistake by be-friending her and falling for her. Next step is to cut off all contact immediatley for you are doing it for her sake as well as your familys and most of all because it is angering Allah.
Next step sincere repentance with th intention of NEVER repeating such a major sin again. Cry to Allah and beg of his mercy and forgiveness and if your intentions are right and your repentance sincere then you will find Allah most merciful.
Next step let time heal your heart. In this time you must keep a distance from your niece even if it means you make excuses not to go around their house. It is very important you keep away lest you ignite a spark again. It will hurt for a while but time will heal your heart.
Strive to get closer to Allah and please him as much as you can and ask of him to give peace and solace to your heart and heal it quicker. Then in the future you will look back and think that you were just blinded by lust and that surely you were not thinking straight. When a person gets into these situations then most of the time their judgements are impaired by pure lust.
Therefore you must force yourself to wake up and think straight about this. You cannot live like this any longer and you cannot delay the inevitable. Act now for there is no time to waste. Prove your love to Allah by doing the right thing otherwie they are just empty words. If you need anymore advice or help then please do not hesitate to ask.
Brother give up this disgusting incestuous love fantasy you have there, wake up and sort yourself out. This is filthy and haraam - should be enough for you to understand.
He it is Who sends blessings on you, as do His angels, that He may bring you out from the depths of Darkness into Light: and He is Full of Mercy to the Believers. [Quran {33:43}] www.QuranicAudio.com www.Quran.com
Love is like a hole, the more you dig into it the deeper you will go and the harder you will find to get out of it. It's like a drug, it's easy to get into but hard to get out of.
Bro, love can happen between anyone at any time and when one has feelings of affection towards another, it's natural that they would want to take their relationships further. But this same love, if it is not directed towards the one who is meant for you, can be detrimental towards not only your imaan, but towards your worldly affairs and especially the afterlife.
The longer you are with her, the more you will want to have a love/sexual relationship together. A relationship was never about holding hands and walking down the park, everyone knows and wants more than that. And if this continues with you and her, what will become of the relationship between you and your brother? What if you make her pregnant? How severely will your family ties be broken and how consequential will be her honour and dignity be, let alone yours? You know all too well that you cannot marry her because, at the very least, no one in your family will allow it. So then what about her future prospective husband? Who will marry her if people find out that she had a love/sexual relationship with her own uncle? Would you marry such a woman? If you truly love her then don't do that which will destroy her, losing all that had ever meant to her through a single forbidden relationship, not to mention what will become of you. Distance and remove yourself from this relationship and involve yourself in a relationship where you will not regret having a child, love and sexual relations will not be despised and its outcome will only bring you and your family together and not apart.
What if your brother slept with your daughter? Could you ever imagine that, how would you feel?
Bro, be like the Prophet who was eager to please Allah and aspired for what was with Him of His reward, striving for it day and night. Never let your love of Allah be superseded by the love of another. The best of protectors is Allah, the best and the most deserving to be loved and cherished is Allah and the best to be listened to and obeyed is Allah. And it is He who has forbidden these relationships, and whatever He has commanded to is good, whatever He has forbidden is corruption. So if you want to keep your relationship with her as an uncle and niece, than obey His commands and avoid His prohibitions. If you want total humiliation and disgrace for you and her, then follow your lusts and desires, it will bring you no good.
“And come not near to unlawful sex. Verily, it is a Faahishah (i.e. anything that transgresses its limits: a great sin, and an evil way that leads one to hell unless Allaah Forgives him)” [al-Isra’ 17:32]
format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous
im a muslim brother and i just seem so lost and dont enjoy life at all because of things that i have done and keep doin. i dont know how i got into this, i cant even remember how it started. i swear by allah's name i would have left her long time ago if she wasnt my family. but i love her so much and look at her with caring eyes but my love for her aint greater than my love for allah but i love her more than anything in this world. i would even take a bullet for her and always hopin she doesnt die before me so she can get a chance to repent but its not her fault at all its like its meant to happen. i was young and she was quite young aswell, the fact that i broke her virginity cannot leave me. and i promised her on allah's name that i will never leave her and that i will always be there for her. even if anything happens between me and her that i will always stay with her never ever marry anyone. the story is kinda complicated. but i worry so much i dont know what options i would leave her if i ever leave her. my whole face gets washed in tears sometimes when i think anything bad about her shes just my heart and i dont feel anything else about other girls i would rather be alone than being without her coz i know what she will go through. many nights i just lie down on my bed, and by any chance allah,s thought runs through my head i wont stop crying. and thinking what im gonna say to allah even makes me cry more. i dont know how to explain my love for allah. i believe in allah so much that i would think about allah most of my days and nights im becoming crazy you can say. i consider myself worthless and i dont have love for this duniya at all. but i just cant leave her, i cant even stay for a day without seing her. i care too much about her. i dont like seeing her in pain. i know people might find this disguisting but im being honest i dont know what to do. and if your sayin leave her i cant do that either. you can say i cant stay without her. everytime i think, what am i gonna say to allah? tears wash up my whole face. please help
Last edited by 'Abd-al Latif; 01-31-2011 at 11:32 PM.
And verily for everything that a slave loses there is a substitute, but the one who loses Allah will never find anything to replace Him.” [Related by Ibn al-Qayyim in ad-Dâ' wad-Dawâ Fasl 49]
I'm sorry to be blunt, but I don't think you love Allah.
Just think for a second what you will have to say in akhirah.
what would you say if i was a drinker and i really wanted to quit drinking but its like a habit that i have. and the reason why i want to quit drinking is that i love allah SWT so much but no matter how hard i try, im not able to stop this habit? do you say this person dont love allah SWT or?
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what would you say if i was a drinker and i really wanted to quit drinking but its like a habit that i have. and the reason why i want to quit drinking is that i love allah SWT so much but no matter how hard i try, im not able to stop this habit? do you say this person dont love allah SWT or?
Then you love drinking more than you love Allah.
Likewise, if you are the op, you love being in sexual relations with your niece than you love Allah. Surely if you love Allah more, you'd immediately stop whatever you are having with your niece now.
That's the hard fact.
Wake up, and smell the roses.
The longer you are in the delusion of "oh, but I love Allah", the more you are unable to break away from your haram actions because you keep justifying your actions by thinking that it is outside your choice.
cant you not accept that its just not meant to be? you have to leave her and move on with your life. you need to find a girl who is not related and get married. you need to take the first step and finish it then inshallah it will get easier with time trust me
You didn't say how old you both are; not that it matters. Leave, go far away, get yourself a legit woman, live your life.
You may still get that chance if her parents ever find out.
bro i dont really care if her parents find out. people worry more about people than they worry about allah SWT. i have done it and and the point is i cant leave her just like that imagine shes my family how the hell am i gonna say that to her or disappear. i promised her to always be ther for her no matter what happens. and by the way a woman is not what i need. what i need is to find the best solution for both of us coz i took her virginity which is really hard to imagine and you know what happens when a girl is not a virgin. but what ever is meant to happen cannot be changed. and its not that simple. i dont think anyone can find a very good solution where we are both happy. insha'allah allah will find a solution for me. i'll keep praying.
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It is good that you are seeking a solution. But sadly sometimes there are no painless solutions. Your obligation is to do what is best for your niece not for you. You must also understand that your niece is going to suffer much pain no matter what is best for her. Sometimes things that we need are painful. Yes, this situation can only end in pain for your niece, you must handle it in a manner that causes no additional pain for her.
You can not think of trying to find a solution that will bring pleasure. You must think in terms of what is right and what needs to be done.
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in love with my niece
who was eager to please Allah and aspired for what was with Him of His reward, striving for it day and night. Never let your love of Allah be superseded by the love of another. The best of protectors is Allah, the best and the most deserving to be loved and cherished is Allah and the best to be listened to and obeyed is Allah. And it is He who has forbidden these relationships, and whatever He has commanded to is good, whatever He has forbidden is corruption. So if you want to keep your relationship with her as an uncle and niece, than obey His commands and avoid His prohibitions. If you want total humiliation and disgrace for you and her, then follow your lusts and desires, it will bring you no good.
Ahki,
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