Feeling the need to Punish myself for all my bad deeds ???

[Hassan1987]

Since i did Umrah last year i've ended up doing loads of bad stuff that i though i would not do

And ever since this year started i've been feeling like i need to be punished by myself to learn some harsh lessons

So i have a ticket booked to Spain next week

plan is to walk from Spain all the way to london on a very very tight budget and completely rough it all the way.

If i make it to london , i'll feel like Allah wants me to do more and not quit so easy

[Flame of Hope]

Assalaamu alaykum brother.

Can I persuade you not to go ahead with your plan?

[ardianto]

Since i did Umrah last year i've ended up doing loads of bad stuff that i though i would not do

And ever since this year started i've been feeling like i need to be punished by myself to learn some harsh lessons

So i have a ticket booked to Spain next week

plan is to walk from Spain all the way to london on a very very tight budget and completely rough it all the way.

If i make it to london , i'll feel like Allah wants me to do more and not quit so easy

You call walk from Spain to London on a very very tight budget as punishment ?. Oh, bro, you will make backpacker tourists laugh out loudly.

okay, if you want to learn harsh lesson, you can perform night salat in many raka'ah every night like Rasulullah (saw) had done. But let me remind you, Rasulullah (saw) never taught self punishment as sins redemption.

[Hassan1987]

You call walk from Spain to London on a very very tight budget as punishment ?. Oh, bro, you will make backpacker tourists laugh out loudly.

okay, if you want to learn harsh lesson, you can perform night salat in many raka'ah every night like Rasulullah (saw) had done. But let me remind you, Rasulullah (saw) never taught self punishment as sins redemption.

Well not exactly going to be having food at all along the way , so i'd say it's punishment enough and if you aint got anything helpful to say then say nothing at all.

[Alpha Dude]

If i make it to london , i'll feel like Allah wants me to do more and not quit so easy

Can you clarify what you mean here?

Are you saying if you make it to London you will try to be a better Muslim otherwise not?

[Ramadhan]

if I were you, I would donate the money to orphanage or poor people, and I would do voluntary fastings for the sake of Allah and ask for His forgiveness.

[ardianto]

Well not exactly going to be having food at all along the way , so i'd say it's punishment enough and if you aint got anything helpful to say then say nothing at all .

I am really sorry if my post seem like a provocation, but frankly, I do not regard walk from Spain to London with very low budget as incredible journey, because I can do it if I want. I know, there are foods in this route. Different than if I must walk cross Sahara desert.

Okay, forgive me if i made you angry. But I have given you an idea to heavier punishment. Perform night salat in many raka'ah every night like Rasulullah (saw). Many people can walk with low budget from Spain to London, you can ask an infantry soldier if you don't believe what I say. But only special Muslims who can perform night salat like Rasulullah (saw).

[Haya emaan]

if you want to punish yourself on bad deeds so that you don't commit them again do something that makes you spiritually strong..
long walk without food and other stuff is only going to make you physically week..

[Flame of Hope]

Well not exactly going to be having food at all along the way , so i'd say it's punishment enough and if you aint got anything HELPFUL TO SAY DONT SAY **** ALL.

what the hell would you know about traveling without using any public transport and food bet you've not even been out your little shell called indonesia.

You're being rude to the brother. He only meant well. Try to see the good in people and not think the worst about them?

Perhaps you do need to walk from Spain to London on a very tight budget. Here's hoping that your plan works for you.

All the best!!

[Dagless]

Since i did Umrah last year i've ended up doing loads of bad stuff that i though i would not do

And ever since this year started i've been feeling like i need to be punished by myself to learn some harsh lessons

So i have a ticket booked to Spain next week

plan is to walk from Spain all the way to london on a very very tight budget and completely rough it all the way.

I'm not sure what you hope to gain from this. You're basically saying you've done bad stuff and have now decided you want to punish yourself for it in some random harsh way. Isn't that like masochism? So if you do bad stuff again does that mean you do another walk?

If i make it to london , i'll feel like Allah wants me to do more and not quit so easy

That's like saying if I flip this coin and it's heads then God wants me to do x. It doesn't make much sense. What God wants from you has already been documented and I haven't seen anything about walking from Spain to the UK. As the brother before said; ask for forgiveness, do good deeds, charity, prayer, maybe another umrah. Life can be harsh and you'll probably be tested plenty in time.

If you still want to do the walk then do it for you but don't relate it to expiation of sins since there is no way to be sure of that. Also do istikhara because the walk doesn't sound very safe either.

[IslamicRevival]

Dont do it brother. I wouldnt even call what you've planned punishment. Its nothing

Remember, Ramadhan is not far away at all InshAllah and Allah Azzawajal is Most Merciful

[shible]

Assalamu Alaikkum Bro,

If you really want to redeem for the things u have done. there are a few ways you could achieve

(where 1. Salah and 2. fasting are the priority ways)
3. giving sadaqah to an orphanage and also staying with them for atleast a month and helping them to make their life better.

4. to go on Jamaath and understand how big the Ummah of Islam are and learn more from your spiritual voyage.

5. performing umrah again and crying more and more in Allah's house for forgiveness rather than some un-reasonable journey.

6. Contributing more and more to the Masjid in terms of wealth or service by helping them maintain the Masjid.

If u really feel u r a grown-up then think like a grown-up. Allah is the one to decide whether your actions can be considered as repentence or not. so act towards repentence on what Allah and our Prohpet Muhammad (sal) had directed than some stupid journey........

[Hamza Asadullah]

Since i did Umrah last year i've ended up doing loads of bad stuff that i though i would not do

And ever since this year started i've been feeling like i need to be punished by myself to learn some harsh lessons

So i have a ticket booked to Spain next week

plan is to walk from Spain all the way to london on a very very tight budget and completely rough it all the way.

If i make it to london , i'll feel like Allah wants me to do more and not quit so easy

Asalaamu Alaikum, jazakallahu khayr for sharing your issues with us.

My brother Allah has already told us in the Qur'an what we need to do after we commit sin:

Your Lord hath inscribed for Himself (the rule of) mercy: verily, if any of you did evil in ignorance, and thereafter repented, and amended (his conduct), lo! He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful. (Al-An`am 6:54)

Allah says in a hadith Qudsi:

"O son of Adam, as long as you call upon Me and put your hope in Me, I have forgiven you for what you have done and I do not mind. O son of Adam, if your sins were to reach the clouds of the sky and then you would seek My forgiveness, I would forgive you. O son of Adam, if you were to come to Me with sins that are close to filling the earth and then you would meet Me without ascribing any partners with Me, I would certainly bring to you forgiveness close to filling it."

In this Hadithi Qudsi, Allah gives hope to mankind more than any other narration. It displays the quality and attribute of Allahs mercy. Indeed, He is ar-Rahman, the Most Compassionate, and ar-Raheem, the Most Merciful.

In this Hadithi Qudsi, Allah tells man of the greatness of His forgiveness and mercy so that no one would despair due to the amount of sins he may have committed. This is supported by the following verse of the Holy Quran:

Say: O My servants who have transgressed against their own souls, despair not of the mercy of Allah. Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Truly, He is Most Forgiving, Most Merciful. (Surah az-Zumar 39:53)

And whoever does a wrong or wrongs himself, but then seeks forgiveness from Allah, he will find Allah forgiving and merciful. (Surat an-Nisaa 4:110)



So in order for us to gain forgiveness for sin that we have committed then we should:

1. Sincerely repent
2. Remorseful over sin
3. Intend to never repeat such an action again.

When a person sins and then sincerely turns to Allah for forgiveness, one will find Allah ready to accept his repentance and to forgive him, as this verse indicates:

And whoever does a wrong or wrongs himself, but then seeks forgiveness from Allah, he will find Allah forgiving and merciful. (Surat an-Nisaa 4:110)


And seek Allahs forgiveness. Certainly, Allah is Forgiving, Merciful.
(Surat al-Muzzammil 73:20)

Will they not repent to Allah and ask His forgiveness? For Allah is the Forgiving, the Merciful. (Surat al-Maaidah 5:74)


So what Allah wants from you is not to put yourself through unecessery hardship by trekking it back to London from Spain but for you to be remorseful over your sins and repent sincerely to Allah with the intention of never repeating such a sin again.

And invoke Him in fear and aspiration (of hope). Indeed, the mercy of Allah is near to those who do good. (Surat al-Araaf 7:56)


Get closer to Allah and beg and cry unto him for mercy and forgiveness especially in the latter portions of the night at Tahajjud time which is the time he is most willing to give his mercy and forgiveness to those who ask of him with sincerety and humbleness.

They forsake their beds to call their Lord in fear and hope. (Surat as-Sajdah 32:16)

Do everything to please him and refraining from anything which displeases him.

Allah loves repentance and loves those who turn to him in repentance:

Truly Allah loves those who turn [to Him] in repentance, and He loves those who keep themselves in purity. (Qur'an 2:222)


Allah loves repentance and loves those who repent so repent unto Allah in every dua especially in the latter portions of the night and replace the sins with good deeds. Thats what he really wants from you.

And those who, when they commit a lewd act or wrong themselves with evil, remember Allah and ask forgiveness for their sinsand who forgives sins except Allah? And they do not persist in what (wrong) they were doing while they knew it. For such, the reward is forgiveness from their Lord and Gardens with rivers flowing through, wherein they shall abide forever. How excellent is the reward of the doers (of good)! (Surah Ali Imran 3:135-136)

And Allah knows best in all matters